Monday, November 30, 2009

Can you put that on a t-shirt?

OMG! I think I finally finished catching up. Maybe. I've spent hours the last two days reading and commenting and reading and trying to catch up on all the posts I've missed over the last four days. If I missed one of yours or failed to comment or something, please accept my humble apologies. It was purely accidental not an intentional slight. Pinkie swear!

So as a NaNoWriMo update...yeah I didn't get to 50,000 words by the deadline. But that's okay with me. I had way too much going on in November to try to do that. I did accomplish something I had never been able to do before and that was to actually start a novel. I put more words on paper than ever before. I got into it. And that is valuable to me. I won't just let it go. I will finish this novel. Because I love the main character and I love the story (okay, there's totally something perverse about loving a scary novel where there's such blatant evil, but that's how I roll). So I am totally on track. I won't get much writing time in December due to Christmas and apparently my birthday is turning into something of a big deal. Also I'd like to spend some time polishing some short stories and getting them submitted. But I will finish it. So thank you NaNoWriMo for what you did give to me, a swift kick in the pants to set me on the journey that is writing a novel. Oh and next year...yeah, I'm kicking your ass be ready.

My bday? Apparently, my sister wanted to come here, but can't so my children are sending me there. Sean and I are going to drive up the weekend before my bday and stay a couple of days. I was totally prepared to let my entrance into the next decade of my life slide quietly by with maybe a pedicure or haircut to celebrate. Apparently, that is not to be. My sister is railroading a celebration. I guess I'm down with that. I mean who doesn't like a celebration? Especially as I've been promised a peppermint chocolate chip shake from Chick-fillet. Wild, huh? We don't have one of those anywhere near us and we saw a commercial. I believe my eyes glazed over in delight and so Hildi promised me one for said bday. And if I add Vodka when I get back to her house? Even better baby. Plus it's another road trip with Sean. You can bet I'll be stocked with some serious blogging material. Lu tried to get off but no luck. C'est la vie! (Sean and I are getting ready to learn I'm practicing).

Okay, so Hildi and I played a game while she was here. I read a blog the other day that was talking about a woman wearing an Edward (from Twilight) tshirt. I said I would wear a Stephen King tshirt. I would wear it until it had holes in it! I was thinking of one with his face on it (duh) but Hildi started making up ones with sayings on them. Things from his books. Then we started laughing because only hardcore fans like our family would even know what the reference was to. So people would stare at us. Which would of course, be half the fun. So in the interest of fun on a Monday (totally alien concept I know!) I'm giving you a quiz...guess the book that the saying refers too. Email me your answers and don't forget to vote on your favorite one. I'm totally going to have it made into a tshirt.

1. I hear the shells.
2. I survived Chester Mills.
3. I got bitten in the 'Lot.
4. Here's Johnny!
5. Duddits vs. Mr. Grey and the Shit Weasels
6. Redrum
7. I'm a fan of sideways thinking
8. Don't piss off your fans.
9. Nice doggy.
10. I buy ghosts online.*

*this one is actually from his son's book. It's like a bonus. =]

So there you go. If you feel like playing, please do. If you don't, it's okay to shake your head and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Lots of people do!

mondays & superfandom,

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Turkey Day...survived!

OMG! I'm so excited to be sitting here in front of my computer today!! Blissfully alone and with nothing to do I absolutely have to do. First off, thank you all for your wonderful comments on my last blog. I hope that everyone had a fantastic Turkey-a-thon and that Brite had a fabulous non turkey weekend since she's stuck in the UK. Mine was fabulous. And definitely worth every ounce of crazy busy the three days before.

We got up Thanksgiving morning (okay technically my sister woke me with her 7 am "Happy Thanksgiving" text. Apparently she and her sister in law have some kind of contest over who can be the first to send it out. Thanks for winning Hildi. Really, I didn't need that extra half hours sleep. What was I thinking?) I immediately get Senor Turkey ready for the oven. Then I get the apple pie ready, pumpkin dump cake ready, and oatmeal scotchie dough ready and get hubbby & I drive down into camp and he opens up the dining hall kitchen and lights the ovens. Oh yeah...I got to bake all three of my concoctions at the same time in industrial ovens. That my friends, is the way to go. He took the boys to his gma's for her get together and I spent an hour down there cooking. (okay, so there's no heat in there and it was a tad chilly, but so worth it). Then I loaded my freshly baked goods and headed back to my house! I ran through, quickly straightening, decide against a final vacuuming and got myself in the shower. Then whipped up a couple of homemade dips. By then, my parents and sister had made it to town to the nursing home to visit my gma and hubby and the boys stopped and picked up my nieces and brought them out to my place.

As they're carrying stuff in...

Sean: (whispering to me) If Maddi asks...the blacktop road is Drury Lane and the Muffin Man lives on it.

So my nine year old niece comes in and (of course) says "what's the name of that road out there?"

Me: Drury Lane

Her: who lives in that one white house?

Me: The Muffin Man. You didn't know that??! I thought everyone knew that!

She was convinced. The next morning hubby kept telling her if she'd walk down to the Muffin Man's house he'd give her fresh muffins for breakfast. She said it was too far to walk. Lol.

We played with the girls and CJ while we waited on the others to arrive. My youngest niece cheats at Candyland, just so you know. And then I hear someone come in, and I go to the door thinking it's my parents and nope. It's my aunt and her husband. I recover nicely and say with a smile "I'm so glad you could make it!" but secretly wonder how many others my mom has invited and forgotten to tell me about. Turns out half the town, but only my aunt and uncle made it. Of course, there was plenty of food and the more the merrier. Especially when the uncle told me my homemade apple pie tastes just like his gma used to make. (Go me!)

We had a great time. So good that my family decided to stay an extra day. Luckily, there were plenty of leftovers to feed everyone and we had a great time. The only downside was that CJ was sick with some sort of cold or virus and ran a temp and coughed alot. But when he's sick he just likes to cuddle alot and nobody minded that at all! They all left and since CJ was fever free yesterday, hubby and I returned him to school. So today, is my first day to breathe freely and not answer to anyone except me (and the towering pile of laundry in the laundry room. It's threatened a hostile takeover if I don't get to the washing)

I will leave you with a funny convo that Sean and I had while he was helping me make the dough for the oatmeal scotchie cookies Lu & Luke had requested~

Me: could you hurry up with those oats? You don't have to measure so carefully! It's cookie baking, not rocket science.

Sean: I'm used to rocket science. Don't rush me woman.

Me: Well it's not like you're mixing hydrogen and helium or any other combustibles. It's oats and brown sugar for Pete's sake! If you accidentally mix them you've only created breakfast cereal, not blown up the kitchen.

Sean: Well, this one time, I was taking the tiny pellets out of those snap things that you throw on July 4th and they explode, and separating them and putting them in a empty pill bottle so I could pack it and add a fuse...

Me: Hold up! So basically, this story should start 'so this one time, I was making homemade explosives...'?"

Sean: Yes.

Me: Those stories almost never end well.

Sean: anyway, I accidentally dropped one in too hard and several exploded, it knocked me backwards in my chair, and I had this high pitched noise in my ears. That's the sound of your nerve cells dying. I'll never be able to hear that tone again.

Me: probably why you should stick to cookies. Inadvertently creating breakfast cereal equals no hearing loss.

Sean: but when I was finished and set it off...the bang was soooo satisfying.

Me: hmmm...well my cookies are going to be better than satisfying. They're going to be deliciousness to die for. And no one's going to go deaf.

And they were! And I must thank Mindy for the pumpkin dump cake recipe. My four year old niece who only eats mac-n-cheese, ramen noodles, chicken nuggets, french fries, fruit snackees and some cereals ate two whole pieces. Unbelievable. It was like a turkey day miracle.

turkey & explosives,

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Another day of crazy...

So remember how I told you before that I absolutely hate housework and cleaning? Well I also absolutely adore a clean house. I know right? That's totally perverse of me. That's just how I roll. Anywho, yesterday was cleaning day at my house. I have a sh*t ton of cooking to do today plus a trip to Springfield (two hours away) to pick up CJ for the holiday weekend. So all the cleaning had to be done yesterday. I informed hubby and Sean that cleaning would commence at noon so that I could get the blogging stuff done first. (I'd accidentally slept in). So at noon we began our marathon.

Sean cleaned his and Bobby's room. Doesn't sound like much except they share a huge room in the basement, probably big enough to be two rooms, there are two beds, nightstands, dressers and then a separate space with a loveseat, two chairs, bookcase, and TV. He cleaned clutter, dusted, glass cleaned, vacuumed, swept and mopped the whole area. Thank you very much Sean. My hubby cleaned his home office (we use that door instead of our real front door so it gets really messy). And I wasn't even mad that it took him as much time to clean that room as it did me to clean...Mo's old room, Our bedroom, my bathroom, the family room and put dinner in the crock pot, 5 loads of laundry. Yeah, he's somewhat slower than I am. But then he cleaned the hall bath so all is forgiven. Well, it is after I went back in and pointed out all the things he'd missed so that he could do those too. Then I cleaned the living room and then we broke for supper. We ate our chili and watched "V". Then it was up again to tackle the pantry of death. I call it that because I think you could have seriously lost a person in the huge pile of plastic bags that covered one whole side of the "L" shape. Scary! Also I'd had this weird black goo that I'm pretty sure came from outer space show up in there recently. It was scary. It looked like motor oil. But in the end, it was no match for me and my Lysol wipees!

We didn't get the pantry finished. That will require way more time than I had last night. But at least it looks decent. I made my final trip to the basement laundry room at 9 last night. After which I took a shower and limped gratefully to bed for a little reading. Today? Two batches of cookies, potato salad, sausage cheese balls and Mexican pinwheels. And cleaning the kitchen (because I just couldn't fit it in yesterday!) Tomorrow, last ditch frantic vacuuming, pumpkin dump cake (thanks Mindy!), apple pie and a turkey. I'm already tired just thinking about it...

I probably (okay I know) I will not have time to blog tomorrow. So I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Know that I will be giving thanks for you guys. =]

Is it Sunday yet?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Monday ate my blog...

So I skipped out on wasn't that I wanted to...I just didn't have a spare minute yesterday. Seriously it was non-stop gogogo. I hate days like that. And today I need to be cleaning my house since I have company coming on Thursday. And I can't put it off til tomorrow because tomorrow I need to cook in the morning and then go to Springfield to pick up CJ for the holiday. I'm pretty sure there's no rest in sight until Sunday. (Oh Sunday, Sunday, how I long for thee...) It's not that I won't enjoy Thursday, I will relish Thursday. It's just all the prep it takes to get there...

So yesterday...I got up, managed to comment on all the blogs I read, but not squeeze out my own post. Then I drove to Hannibal, Missouri. Which is about an hour from my house. It's such a pretty town. Really, if you've never been, you should go. The touristy stuff is fun. My kids used to love the Mark Twain cave when they were little. And if you come...I'll meet you there. And we can hang out and shop in all the little shops downtown and I know a great place to get your tarot cards read! But moving on, I didn't have time for any of that, I was just dropping papers off at my lawyers office because they spelled my name wrong. It's not like they didn't have 52 other documents with my name on them. Puh-lease! And then I didn't even have time to stop at my favorite bookstore. *sigh*

I get back to town and head first to the library to look for the third book in a series Lu and I read. Because, when she was home last she was waving the third book in my face, taunting me with how good it was (because she's an ungrateful wretch who doesn't appreciate me) and she couldn't leave it here for me to read because she got it from the library where she lives. My library did not have it. Nor the fourth in the series which came out last month. In fact, my library had none of the books I wanted. When I asked at the desk about the possibility of them getting said books, they whined at me about "budget cuts". Excuse me, what about my budget cuts?? You know the ones forcing me to get books from the library instead of buying them for myself?? They really were tremendously unconcerned.

I hurried to the restaurant I was meeting Roxy for lunch at. And that was one of the best parts of the day. Not only was my turkey avocado bacon melt delish but we talked for an hour before we both had to rush off our separate ways. And that was great until she asked me~

Roxy~ So, the question of the day.

Me~ (totally unsuspecting, but wary nonetheless) um. yeah?

Roxy~ the 15th of December is rapidly approaching. Do you want to do family stuff that Tuesday night and do a girls thing the weekend after or what?

Me~ hmmm. neither. I'd rather just pretend it's not happening. mmmk?

Roxy~ no. not okay. think about it and let me know.

What kind of friend wallops you upside the head with a reminder of your birthday like that? And then wants to make a big deal about it? Geez...

So I hurry off to my doctors appointment. And I wait in devilish glee. Really, I get the biggest kick out of seeing my doctor. It's not like a crush or anything, he's way too scrawny to be my type. I just like making him laugh. I mean he has "brooding" down to an art form. And I get it. He takes his doctor work very seriously. And he sees a lot of geriatric (which means old and grumpy and dying) patients. I'm like one of his youngest patients. And after years of work, he now smiles when he comes into the my exam room. Again, it may just be that he thinks I'm crazy and he's trying to appease me, but maybe not. So I tell him about my awful cold/flu/virus from last week and how the mucus seems to be lingering as well as a low grade fever. He looks in my ears, nose, etc and pronounces it a sinus infection (um, I already knew this but refrained from saying "duh") We then have this conversation~

Doc~ *peering intently at laptop which contains my records*'re allergic to Cipro (wonderful antibiotic)

Me~ yep. totally screwed if I get Anthrax.

Doc~ *looking at me in sup rise. sheesh, you think he'd learn* anthrax?

Me~ yeah, you know after 911 when they had the anthrax stuff? You treat it with Cipro, right?

Doc~ well, yes.

Me~ So I'd be screwed. *sigh* The good news is I'm safe from smallpox.

Doc~ *raises on eyebrow questioningly*

Me~ I lived out of the country so I got the vaccination. I'm good to go.

Doc~ *shakes his head but I know he's smiling inside* Doxycycline. One tablet twice daily for seven days. *peers outside* you have to avoid sun exposure.

Me~ *also peering out at very weak amount of sunshine* mmmkay. Well that's really gonna cut into my laying out and swimming but I guess I can handle it. I also need more Savella samples please (the brand new just approved in April fibromyalgia medicine that keeps me going but somehow my insurance refuses to pay for).

Doc~ *breaking into huge grin and slightly startling me* the drug rep brought you a bunch today.

Me~ the drug rep brought me some?

Doc~ well, they don't know your name of course, it's anonymous, but they are supplying you with samples because you're one of their success stories!!

Me~ huh. well that's a first.

He walks off and I wait for the nurse but then he pops his head back in~

Doc~ oh um *looks distinctly uncomfortable* you have to use a different form of birth control while on the antibiotics because it makes them ineffective.

Me~ right! No sex for seven days! Can I get a note? I don't think my hubby will believe that's a doctors order.

Doc~ What? That's not what I said. I didn't mean...

Me~ *laughing out loud now* I know. It's cool. Got it.

At which point he walks off shaking his head. You know I'm his favorite patient. And then I'm off to the grocery store, the bank, the pharmacy (where I kid you not, I spent 20 freakin minutes in the drive thru lane waiting to pick up meds.), and the vet to pick up flea medicine (which is a whole nother post). I hurry home, the guys unload the groceries, I put them away, throw in laundry (so far behind on that), sew on a button, fix supper, more laundry and I'm off again.

Drive back to town, pick up my niece and take her to see New Moon. Experience two hours of blissful Jacob viewing, return her home, talk to my favorite SIL, catch up on family gossip and how her pregnancy is progressing, and drive home. By the time I get there it is 11 o'clock and I am exhausted. I chat briefly with Bobby and hubby, Sean already having gone to bed, and then crawl in to my own bed around 11:45 whispering to myself about how wonderful it feels. Read 4 chapters of my new book and it's lights out off to dreamland...whew!

Intersperse in there a few phone conversations, mostly while driving. Three with Lu, who was supposed to be down yesterday for dr appts and to see the movie with us, but she is sick with whatever Luke and I had so I rescheduled all her stuff and told her to stay there and in bed. She's much better already. Also with hubby, to let him know I was alive even though I was an hour and a half later getting home than I said I would be, thanks for noticing and calling to check on me. NOT. What I meant to say was thanks for forgetting what time I said I'd be home and not even noticing. You suck.

thanking goodness that yesterday is over...

PS~ yes, I do know that I didn't use a lot of punctuation or capitalization. And that I made many many run-on sentences. It was on purpose, to give you the rush rush feel of my day...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The nature of friendship...

So I have so many posts running around in my head that it's hard to choose just one to write today. I, unlike other bloggers who've said lately they don't have any inspiration, am never at a loss for what to blog. As I told Mindy the other soon as I open up that 'New Post' tab, it just comes spewing out like mind vomit. You'd think my mind would be anorexic or bulimic by now but it just keeps chugging along. I'm pretty sure it's the steady diet of blogs, supplemented here and there with SK books, and inappropriate conversations. But I've finally decided on today's post and it's probably going to be a long one so buckle up kids, grab a refreshing beverage (alcoholic or not, your choice, I mean it's 5'oclock somewhere, right?) and maybe get a snack too. Or you could just move on to the next blog (no, of course I didn't mean that! Sit your bootie back down! Don't touch that mouse! I spat on it!)

For awhile now, I've been thinking about the nature of friendship (okay, it might only have been since yesterday, but it was a long day). And several people have blogged about it lately too, and very well I might add. But friendship is so personalized for everyone. And it's such a give and take relationship. I think it's probably the one area I feel like I totally failed in as a mother. My children are not good "friends". I don't mean with each other, I mean with other people. I've always prided myself on being a good friend, and tried to model the behavior, but my kids not so much. And while some of it may be the raising, I think some of it is nature. My hubby knows a lot of people. He's friendly with a lot of people. And some he would call friend. But as for that soul deep feeling of friendship and the need to connect with someone outside the family, not so much. He is, save for us, a loner. He just doesn't feel that the need outweighs the effort. My children are the same way. They are both popular kids, they have tons of acquaintances, people they would call friends. People they hang out with. But they can go months without seeing these people or talking beyond a text here and there. My son turns down invitations on a regular basis. He could have a steady stream of girlfriends, but he doesn't feel the need to put in the effort to maintain those types of relationships. Sometimes I think it's my fault. That our family is too close and that by being my children's friend as well as their mom, I've hogged their friendship abilities. I hope it's not something I did, but one wonders.

As for me, I have always had friends. And many close friends. There is always someone I can call or text or email if I need support. Always there to support them as well. I don't feel like this takes away from my family, although many times they have expressed jealousy over my friends. It's hard to have friends when you're a young mom, always busy and sleep deprived, but luckily I had friends I could call when I got a spare minute and we were all raising young children. And I had a very close friend,L, who is also my husbands aunt, and we got together every evening to walk, children in strollers, we covered miles both physically and emotionally. We hit a rough patch about 5 years back and didn't speak for a year, but we made it through that our friendship is as strong as ever, even though we don't get to see each other often.

Then there's J, who I've known since high school! She's the one who knows where all the bodies are buried. All my closet skeletons. She lives 5 hours away, so we only see each other maybe once a year, but we talk on the phone and email. Without her, I probably would have gone crazy at some point in time. We've literally talked each other through every major event in our lives. I don't know what I would've done without her.

There's also my sister, Hildi to you all. We are 7 years apart so always at a different stage in our lives. I left home when she was 10 and she saw it in some ways as abandonment. It took a long time for us to get past that and get to the incredibly close bond we have now. She is always my first call when I'm upset. She has given me remarkably good advice about my daughter. While her girls are still young, she and my daughter are ridiculously similar and this enables her to give me insight into Lulu's head. And of course, I'm her total "everything cooking" resource. And we laugh about our hubbies.

I have a circle of good friends that live in town. My "best" friend and several others. I have old friends that I don't see nearly as often but the knowledge that we would still be there for each other is always there. I have some new friends that I'm quickly becoming very attached to. And they have the added benefit of having known my hubby before they knew me. It's interesting to hear the things they say about him.(Somedays I totally don't get it, but apparently he's quite the catch and I'm a lucky woman.) I just like friends. Don't get me wrong, some days I don't want to talk to anybody on the phone or get dressed and go to town or have company. But I do them anyway because that's what friends do. And if a friend calls, I will stop what I'm doing to chat because that's what friends do. They do the same for me.

I finally learned about 5 years ago (roughly the same time my daughter hit her "teens"), that a circle of girlfriends is invaluable. Because no matter how many guy friends you have, or how great your husband is, there are just some things they will never understand. But your girls will. And even if they don't, they will listen and they will support, and they will do whatever they can to help. And sometimes, just the listening is enough.

And now, I have my blog friends. It's funny because I sure didn't start this blog to make friends. That was probably the furthest thing from my mind. And yet, that's exactly what happened. I made good friends. And really close, really quick friends because I was busy baring my soul. I made friends with Kathryn, and we quickly progressed to emails and then texts and probably soon 4 hour phone chats. I made friends with Mark, and we're now friends on facebook. Which means he can now see all of the truly horrible pictures my daughter and sister seem to enjoy posting of me (skinny bitches). And even though I was afraid to write on his wall, because I figured his real live friends would be all "who's this chick. why does she thing she knows Mark??". Paranoid maybe, but that's how I roll. And I made friends with Danica, who better friend me on facebook and soon. And Heather, and Cynica, and management, and Mindy, and soooo many others that I now consider friends. I absolutely cannot wait each morning to hear (read) what you guys have to say. It's like you're my morning coffee club. And it never fails that at least one, if not all, put a smile on my face and a chuckle in my heart (good gosh that was sappy!!) and start my day off in a good mood. You also keep me writing. Something I don't always share with my non computer friends.

And then there's my family. My kids, my hubby, even my parents. Yes, we're family and they're the most frustrating people I know. But they are also my friends. I love hanging out with them. And I think that's important.

What is the moral of this story. I don't know, I got lost halfway through. I think it's just about how important friendships are and how important it is to maintain them. Have a friend, be a friend. It does a body good. Wait, that might be milk. does a soul good.


PS- I do have one friend I seem to have lost and miss dearly. But that's another post. With a poem...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Effective fighting 101

Soooo, I had a fight with one of my closest friends last night. Yeah, it was Sean. We were sprawled on the family room couch watching Stargate Universe. He was kinda cranky from being up since 2:30 am (read here to find out why). And I was still a little cranky from being sick and from my discoveries yesterday of just how bad my men suck at doing the chores I ask them to do. The two of us cranky at the same time is never a good thing. So there we are, engrossed in our show...when one of the cats (the half paranoid totally hinky one, Axel) jumps up on the side of the couch, lands on the remote and shuts the satellite off. We both utter "shit" very loudly, I frantically reach for the remote and Sean goes after the cat. Now, I'm not sure what his intentions were exactly, but this cat (even after a year in our household) spooks easy and she freaks and leaps on my neck with all of her claws out! Needless to say, I howled in pain. And rounded on Sean all "The hell?? Thanks a bunch!" and instead of just saying "I'm sorry" you know, like a normal person, he says "I didn't know she'd do that" Really?? Because that's pretty much how she reacts to any sudden movement. And I say "well it didn't help any. It didn't get the satellite back on faster because I had to grab my bleeding neck and dropped the remote." and he argued with me. And did not apologize. And then escalated into both of us trying to shout over the other one (because, that's what we do) until I huffily grabbed my stuff and told him I wasn't going to sit in there with him when he was being a jerk.

So I went into the living room and flopped onto the couch next to hubby. "What's going on?" he asked. And I said "Your son is being a jerk. All I wanted was a freakin 'I'm sorry'. How hard is that? He can never admit he's done something wrong." And hubby just said "huh". Then asked if my show was over. I said no. And then he very generously offered me the remote and said he wasn't really watching anything anyway. So I got my show. But then he fell asleep. And snored. Loudly. And the TV in the living room is much smaller. And farther away. And its a bigger space and the couch is in front of the drafty window. So I was cold. And as I huddled in my corner of the couch, I had an epiphany. Next time I decide to get huffy and make a dramatic exit, maybe I should think about who I'm really punishing. Because Sean got to stay in there all warm and comfy with the cats and watch the big screen. Plus, sometimes I don't get stuff on Stargate and he has to explain it because he's a science whiz and he's watched the previous series so he knows what's going on. So I'm pretty sure I'm the one who suffered. Dammit.

But we're cool this morning. Because that's how we fight. We get mad, we blow up on each other, one of us walks away in a snit (okay, that's usually me) and we retreat to our separate corners. Then after we both cool off, we just go back to business as usual. I know it sounds counter productive, but after the cool off period there's a window of time that we converse rationally and solve things. So it works for us.

So I'm not really sure why I blogged all this. Maybe just because it was on my mind. Maybe as an example of how not to fight. Maybe just to prove that I'm not a perfect parent (you know, just in case anyone was laboring under that mistaken assumption).

On another note...I totally finished the SK book!! Have I mentioned lately how great of an author he is and how I totally worship him from afar. Even if he kills off characters I've come to love and makes me cry. Even if it took me a little over a whole week to finish that book and made the carpal tunnel in my left wrist act up and my wrist ached from holding that book because it weighs 4 freakin pounds!!! It was all worth it.

Have a great weekend,

Friday, November 20, 2009

Please return to owner...

OMG!!! Where has my mind been lately?? Has anyone seen it? Maybe I should make posters~
Lost. One sort of used, slightly crazy, much bemuddled mind. Slightly higher IQ than average. Very imaginative. Runs good fair. If found please return to frazzled woman running around like a chicken with her head cut off. K? Thanks!

Can you believe that I forgot yesterday was "spread the word thursday"?? I mean, I made up the day people! And I still forgot it. Honestly, I think I'd lose my patootie if it wasn't fastened on tight. I'm really not sure I'm going to survive November. And even if I do there's December to get through. December, with all it's christmasey, present giving, cookie baking goodness. And my (gasp) 40th bday. You know, the birthday by which I thought I would have gotten something accomplished? You know back in high school when you peer forward into the future and you imagine your life at the ripe old age of 40? And you think Oh! All the things I will have done by then! I'm looking around now going 'what things??? what have I done?'. And so far, peeps, there's not a lot staring back at me from that list. I shall have to ponder this more closely in the coming month...

But as for the present day, the here and now, I'm feeling better. Although judging by the cough I have today, it may be short lived. I wonder if I can convince my doc to just give me a bag of IV antibiotics now in a pre-emptive strike against my lungs and their patheticness?? Probably not. I think he likes it when he has to stick my butt in the hospital. Not only does he make money but he gets to see me everyday. No, I'm not being vain. I just happen to know that I'm one of the few people who can make him laugh. Yeah, his bedside manner lacks a little. But he laughs at me. Mostly because he thinks I'm crazy but I'm totally cool with that. I'm sure he's not the only one who thinks that. In fact, there's probably like a club or something. My hubby may or may not be the president.

So yesterday I was feeling well enough to get out of bed and hang out in the family room. And my family stopped acting like I had Ebola and started getting near me again. So this is the conversation in the kitchen while I'm making Sean and I some soup for lunch (yes, I'm back to being the house bitch, I mean domestic goddess).

Sean- so will you watch Master and Commander with me?

Me- I don't know if I'm in the mood.

Sean- you always say that! And you're going to love it. Promise. It's boats and sailing. Probably one of the best sailing movies ever made. (Technically, it's not really about sailing, but he's obsessed with sailing).

Me- what about Pirates of the Carribean? That's the best boat movie ever made. And I do love me some Cap'n Jack.

Sean- Captain Joseph would make you Captain Jack cry like a schoolgirl.

Me- *whirling around to stare in open-mouthed awe* What??!! Oh the blashpemy! I cannot believe that one of my offspring would ever utter such a blatantly false and reprehensible thing about their future stepfather in my prescence!! (Because one day Johnny Depp is totally going to come to his senses and whisk me away from all of this. It's a well known fact at our house.)

Sean- It's true.

Me- that's fine. Whatever. Now Daddy Johnny is for sure not buying you a sailboat of your very own.

Sean- So will you watch it?

Me- yes. ok. but don't blame me if I fall asleep. Isn't it like ten hours long or something.

Sean- No. It's not quite that long. And you're going to love it.

Guess what?? I did love it! Now Russell Crowe's no Johnny but he's a damn fine actor. And you had the added attraction of Paul Bettany. It was really well done and I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it. Do be prepared for some violence and blood though, I mean it is set during the war between France and England after all. (Which one you say? I know because there have been like a million! But the Bonaparte one. You know, short dude all right hand tucked inside his vest like he's got a really bad case of heartburn? Totally in love with Josephine. Yeah, that one. And oh look! I totally turned this into a history lesson. You can thank me later.)

So then I tell Sean that the movie was actually based on a series of books written by Patrick O'Brian. So we go to and there are 20 books in the series!! That would take Sean, my reluctant reader, roughly 5 years to read. But we put them on the christmas list anyway. (Take note Santa)

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Out of the woods, Into the quicksand...

I'm pretty sure I'm out of the woods. Because except for a brief time last night, my fever is mostly gone. My throat isn't sore for the first time in 5 days. And I'm grumpy. Seriously. You know that grumpy stage you go through when you're feeling better, but not quite well, and you're bored with being in bed but you don't want to get up and overdo and end up there again? And it must be someone's fault??! Yeah, that's where I am. I've also come to realize that I spoil my family. And that's making me grumpier.

I told my hubby two days ago that he was going to need to do at least one load of laundry. And if the laundry room was on the first floor, I would have done it myself, but it's in the lower level. Which is pretty much just a fancy term for basement. But of course, he didn't do any laundry. So yesterday morning he says "I'm going to have to wash some clothes. I'm running out of jeans." And I was all "Really? You think?" So yesterday after dinner he throws in laundry. And four hours later I ask "so did you think you might want to dry those clothes you washed? It might be hard to wear them wet." So he goes down and throws them in the dryer and puts a new load in. Before I go to bed I ask if he folded the load from the dryer. No, it was still in the dryer. So I kindly offer to fold them~

Me: If you go get that load of clothes, I'll fold them for you. Then you can distribute them.

Him: I don't know where they go.

Me: The hell? Your clothes go in the same places you take the clean ones out of! And the boys get placed on their neatly made...*pause*...there are no neatly made beds are there?

Him: Not a one.

So. While I was sick, laundry did not get done (the clothes are still in the dryer), beds did not get made, no effort was made to straighten the house or heaven forbid, vacuum or sweep. And the last straw was when I walked into the kitchen this morning.

Me: Why is the sink full of dirty dishes??? We have a dishwasher!

Hubby: It's Sean's fault. He didn't unload it so I could reload it. But we're going to take care of that right now. Just don't look. Go back to your room. We'll bring you tea.

I hear Sean yell from the kitchen. "It's totally his fault!! The dishes in the dishwasher are dirty!! He forgot to run it."


I know. I should be happy that they managed to feed themselves (although I'm sure the takeout has me over the grocery budget), they brought me drinks and soup, the cats got fed, and they managed to get Sean to the clinic yesterday for his flu shots. But it sucks knowing that as soon as I'm well (probably tomorrow), I'll spend all my time trying to get my house back to rights. Grrrr. I'm going to take a magnifying glass to my contract. It's time to read all the damn fine print...


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I didn't die. Yet.

So I'm still alive. Okay, maybe half alive. Alive enough to get out of bed and sit here and read blogs and comment people back. And hopefully they all make sense. But I still feel like crap. And I'm going back to bed soon. But since the fever has finally gone away, I'm pretty sure I'll live.

I did not go to the doctor. Partly because I'm too tired to put on clothes other than pj's and ride the half hour into town. Partly because if I don't have the flu, I probably would by the time I breathed the same air as all those other sick people. And partly because I'm a mom. I know the drill for rest. These are my observations from yesterday...

1.) The Campbell's "soup at hands" are really convenient for sick people. Easier to hold in bed than a bowl and spoon. However, if you eat the chicken and stars one, all the stars sink to the bottom. This results in a huge lump of pasta stuck in the bottom of the container at the end.

2.) If you happen to be watching a SyFy marathon of Outer Limits episodes and you fall asleep during one episode and wake up during another you will be highly confused.

3.) Daytime TV is insipid.

4.) Used tissues multiply at roughly the same rate as rabbits.

5.) Taking your temperature with a thermometer under your tongue becomes virtually impossible when your nose is completely stuffed up. Only olympic swimmers can hold their breath long enough to accomplish this feat.

6.) Cats really like sick people. You may wake up with five of them sleeping in various positions on your bed. I'm pretty sure they just like the heat you give off when feverish. Or maybe they're just waiting for you to die so they can eat you.

7.) Sean can fend for himself way better than he lets on.

8.) "Cootie Girl" is apparently a term of endearment.

9.) If I look bad enough (or sound bad enough) my husband will avoid contact with me. This has never happened before. Considering he has the constitution of a horse and almost never gets sick from being near me when I'm sick, I can only assume I either look worse than usual. Or he's succumbed to the reigning paranoia thrust upon us by all the media coverage of the swine flu pandemic. Dammit...I want my cuddles!

10.) I truly thank the powers that be that the SK book was delivered to me so fortuitously. At least I have something wonderful to read!!!

And thank you all for your comments and well wishes!! I truly appreciate them. And hope that I can get back to what passes for normal at my house very very soon!!!

'Scuse me, I need a nap now,

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I think I might be dying and it's all Lulu's boyfriends fault.

I feel like I'm dying. I have since yesterday afternoon. Intense sore throat, fever, chills, muscle ache, sneezing, stuffy nose, cough, headache, tummmyache, tight chest. Sounds like flu, huh? Feels like flu. Or when the chills hit, death. Here is the text convo I had with Lulu last night~

Me: I'm soooo sick.

Lu: So's Luke. What symptoms?

Me: Sore throat, like I can't swallow. Fever. Chills. Achey. Headache. Tummy ache. Cough. Sneezing. Runny/stuffy nose.

Lu: Wow. You just described him to a "T"! Wait! Did you all make out or something?

Me: Oooops...

Lu: Bitch!

Me: Um. No. He's sooo not my type.

Lu: I know. But since he got sick yesterday you must of got it from him.

Me: If it's swine flu, I'm going to kill him.

And then I went to bed. And was so miserable I didn't even sleep. I hate that! Especially since Hubby was sleeping fine! And snoring. But he was very nice to make my tea w/honey and tuck me into bed last night with an extra blanket because my teeth were chattering. Of course then the fever went down and I had to shuck off the extra blanket and the socks and the sweatshirt because I thought I might die of heat exhaustion.

Anyway...I read blogs this morning. But witty commentary seems to be eluding me so I'm sorry, but not comments from me today. And this is all your getting for a blog. Because I just sneezed all over my keyboard and monitor (it took me by surprise) and now I'm going to have to wipe it all down with a lysol wipee. And I'm pretty sure that will take the last bit of energy I possess. And I can't even call for help, because I have no voice either. Sean finds this hysterical.

Take care, and hopefully I'll be back tomorrow...

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Wedding. Where to hide during a vampire outbreak. And how I did not point and shout "whore of babylon" even though I wanted to.

So sorry to keep you all on the edge of your seats about the wedding I went to this weekend, but I was recovering yesterday. NO! This time I was not hungover. But my legs did decide to remind me that wearing heels is never a good call for my legs anymore. That my muscles and joints will join together in a protest of epic proportions thus rendering me unable to walk the following day. And their retaliation will be met with a counter-strike on my part with the aid of muscle relaxers which does have the effect of me being slightly insensible and some sleepy moments accompanied by drooling. Yeah, I wasn't pretty yesterday. But I did get a lovely nap on the couch, a scary movie from 1979 that I'd dvr'd watched, and hubby made dinner (okay frozen pizzas which is not quite dinner but the best he could do), and dived into the world of Mr. King while hubby watched football. And I only had to sock him in the arm once when he got bored and poked me in THE FREAKIN LEG.

As for the wedding...well first a warning...if you are very religious you may want to skip down a paragraph or two. I put reception in big bold letters so just go there if you're going to get mad and not read my blog anymore. K? As I do not believe in organized religion, my thoughts during the wedding ceremony might qualify as offensive and sacrilegious. I mean no offense. But if you like you can call me a pagan heathen. Just don't try to convert me. Mmmmk? Here we go...

The wedding was held in one of the most beautiful churches I've ever been in. Definitely the most beautiful one in our town. I've been to several weddings there so I'm familiar with the fact that the catholic wedding ceremony lasts approximately 3.5 years. Okay, maybe it's not that long, maybe it's only 1.25 hours, but to me it seems like forever. Add all the standing, sitting, kneeling and it's more like calisthenics then church. Everything was beautiful. All nine (seriously nine) bridesmaids and groomsmen looked great. No four eyed joes in this bunch. Five of the bridesmaids were sisters of the bride, one was a sister in law and the best man was actually a woman! She was the sister of the groom. The ceremony was lovely but of course my attention wandered. And as always when I'm in that church with all of it's paintings depicting saints, the statues, the stained glass and the cathedral ceilings, I'm forced to wonder who the hell dusts that place?? Is there like a team? And do they have to use scaffolding to reach the really high windows? Once I asked this question out loud...and earned some horrid glares. This time I merely leaned over and mentioned to hubby that in the event of a vampire outbreak, I was totally holing up in that church. With all those crosses and stuff the vamps don't stand a chance of getting in!!

Then they do that part of the service where you're supposed to greet your neighbors with a smile and a handshake or hug. Um. Hello. Cold and Flu season. Does this mean nothing to you?! Can we not change that to a fist bump maybe? To avoid unnecessary contact with the palm of a strangers hand that they may or may not have just coughed or sneezed on?? Yuck! And ever since I was little my reaction to this part of the service has been to want to jump back and scream "don't touch me!". Really, how can we teach our children not to talk to strangers and then take them to church and make them touch perfect strangers??? Don't even try to tell me that everyone who goes to church is godly. Because I'm pretty sure even John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahlmer and Ted Bundy went to church at some time or another. Showing up doesn't automatically make you a good person. When I was a teenager I would just stand with my arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. I'd perfected the "touching me is probably not in your best interest" look. But as an adult, I've forced myself to shake hands so as not to brutally rebuff what might be perfectly well intentioned folks.

Then came communion. And this is the part where I get really bad. My mother taught us that you should not take communion unless you truly believed in god and jesus. I have never taken communion and do not plan on it. I am not a hypocrite. I don't truly believe in my heart in the version of a higher power that communion represents. So when he took out that wafer and held it up I have to tell you it reminded me of a tortilla, which reminded me of tacos, which reminded me that I was starving! Then they got out the chalice and blessed the wine. Um. Hello. Again. Yes it's me germ watching girl. Cold and Flu season people! And yet everyone's going to drink from the same cup?? I'm sorry that I don't buy that blessed piece of cloth that they wipe the cup with kills flu germies. I did notice several people bypass the wine drinking. Either they are germ-careful like me or that's some yucky wine. Lulu's boyfriend was one of the non wine drinkers. He says it's yucky wine. He's also a lapsed catholic, and says he doesn't believe. So I asked why he took communion and he said "habit". I told him he was gonna get smote. Because if their version of God is true, then he knows when you're being a hypocrite and that is definitely a smiting offense!

Oh and there was this part where you were supposed to contemplate your own marriage and turn to your partner and ask forgiveness for things you might have done and rejoice in your bond. So I looked at hubby and told him I totally forgave him for being a poop this week. He said he didn't think that was what the priest meant and I may have gotten the intent wrong there. But whatever, he should've just taken the forgiveness. I thought it was pretty generous of me not even making him ask for forgiveness or anything. So now you know why me and church are a really bad combination. There's just no knowing where my mind is going to drift or if I'll forget and say things out loud.

Now for the was pretty uneventful. Until the end. We got there, found a table for ourselves and our friends. I sat on the side where I could see the door because I wanted to know when Jezebel entered. They started the food line and hubby decided to go look for the men's room. Lulu wasn't hungry so her bf and Sean and I headed to the line. As we're standing there who should walk in (not three feet from us!)...yep Jezebel and her boyfriend. (She got divorced shortly after I threatened to have a conversation with her husband if she didn't leave him and my son alone. Oh yeah, she's a piece of work. She was also hitting on Sean at the time. He was 14). Anyway, she now lives with a tattoo artist. But I did not shout "whore of Babylon" and point. I rolled my eyes instead and sighed loudly instead. I know that's way more mature. We got through the line and back to the table and omigod they were the best mashed potatoes I've ever eaten. Seriously. But then I saw someone's stuff sitting on our table and turned to Brandi and Laura.

Me: Please tell me that's not her stuff sitting on the table.

Brandi: As if! No way would we let her sit with us.

Me: well surely she wouldn't have the audacity...

Laura: I wouldn't put it past her. But no that's not her stuff.

Lulu: Do you honestly think I would have let her down this row of chairs? I don't want her anywhere near our men!

I saw Jezz and her bf come out of the food line and stand around looking for a place to sit. There wasn't anywhere. And for a minute I felt bad for her. But then it passed. Gradually through the night she worked her way closer to our table. And once when Lu and Luke were dancing she and her bf went to dance right in front of them, so that if we looked up to watch Lu, we'd have to see her. As the last of the dancing was wrapping up, Brandi's 3 year old went over and was sitting by Jezz, playing with her phone. I came off the dance floor and was standing with Brandi and her hubby. He was like "go get Mattie. We're totally going to have to wipe her down with antibacterial wipes now. Or get her shots." I added "yes, because I'm pretty sure Jezebel cooties are catching!" We laughed. Then it was over and time to leave. Hubby, Sean and I were walking to the door when I decided to hit the restroom one last time. I'd had some beer and it's a long drive home. When I came out they said they had to wait for Luke who'd also gone to use the restroom. That Lulu was outside already saying goodbye. I had her jacket so I took it out to her and we stood there talking for a few. Then Luke joined us and I asked where Hubby and Sean were. He said he didn't know they were waiting so they must still be inside. I walked back to the door and through the glass I could see them. Who do you think was standing close enough to touch them???! I said "oh no she didn't!!" and started for the door and Luke grabbed me around the middle and hoisted me to the parking lot. Lulu yelled that she'd get them. When Hubby came out I was primed for WWIII. He immediately said "I didn't talk to her, I swear" and Sean backed him up. About then Brandi and her hubby caught up to us. She says "I saw her moving in, I was trying to get there in time. I was like Matt, we have to go. We have to go now! We have to run interference!" So I settled down. So no fights, no arrests, no fun. I mean...I was very adult. Mostly. =]

And that, dear readers, is that. That's my blog and I'm sticking to it!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Why did they have to make 7 am so flippin early?

So here I am up at the ungodly hour of 7 A.M. Why? Why you ask. Why would you drag your oh so tired butt out of bed at that hour of the morning? The answer my friends is simple. I do it for you. I have a wedding to attend this afternoon and you know what that means? Oh yeah, a wedding reception tonight. And we all know how that goes around here. And if you're new to my blog and missed the last wedding I attended, you can read about it here. I don't know if this wedding will top that one, but I'm sure it's going to try. And I wanted to get my posting done before my day really started.

Which is why I am up at 7 am. This is the time my hubby gets up on weekends. So I shut off the alarm, grumble something about coffee and head for the bathroom. Finished there, I shuffle to the kitchen where coffee is brewing, but not done. And my hubby has just finished feeding the cats. The following conversation (if you can call it that) ensues...

Hubby: So someone missed a feeding and we're back to opening a can of cat food at night.

Me: hmphy;ljysdjf?

Hubby: I just want to remind you that Special Kitty cans don't go in the recycling. They get thrown away.

Me: the only can I put in recycling lately was a Friskies.

Hubby: You mean 9 Lives?

Me: No. Friskies.

Hubby: well it's Special Kitty that's in the cabinet now.

Me: *huffily opening the cabinet and pulling out a Friskies can* Friskies!!

Hubby: Well the one I pulled out today was Special Kitty.

Me: Yes, because I bought those in the 4-pack but they don't like the same food all the time so I intermixed some Friskies cans and are we done here?! *imagine my voice rising to a whine at the end*

Hubby: Just don't put the wrong cans in the recycling. (So apparently 9 Lives and Special Kitty cans are not made of aluminium but some kind of radioactive teflon coated kryptonite or something because this is the only reason I can come up with for him yelling at me about something so ridiculous this early in the morning)*

Me: I'm going to go write now before the voices force me to hurt you. *shuffles off to cave*

*In my hubby's defense, he probably wasn't yelling, but did I mention it was 7 freakin A.M. and that I am not a morning person? And he tried to make it up to me by bringing me coffee when it was done??

The Stephen King book is phenomenal. I stayed up way too late last night reading. I don't know how he creates so many well fleshed out characters. This must be where the index cards and post-its come in handy because half the time I have to page back through the novel I'm writing to remember what I named a character. Next time I write a novel, I think I might have to make a better system first. I'm up to over 14,000 words. Not where I need to be but I'll catch up. Lulu read it when she came home the other day and when she got done she was all "OMG. That's just creepy! Do you know what's going to happen? Because there seems to be a lot of foreshadowing." Of course I know what's going to happen. Kind of. I have a general idea when I sit down and then it just comes out. Like my brain thinks about it on autopilot all the time and I don't even realize it. And you have to foreshadow. It's my favorite writer tool thing. Anyway, I just wanted her to make sure it flows and apparently it does. Yay!

But back to Stephen King...I'm on page 185 and the death toll is rising. Muahahaha. It's a pretty interesting concept he's using. And I just wonder how he came up with it. I wonder if he ever wonders how other people come up with things? Like when 30 Days of Night came out. Was he all Vampires. In Alaska. Where it stays dark for 30 whole days. Genius!!! Because that's how I was.

Went to dinner with a group of friends and family last night. Then we went to see 2012. It was nonstop edge of your seat the entire time! And the special effects were ah-mazing! I really liked the movie. My friend Brandi said she hated it because she was so nervous through the whole thing. My friend Roxy had an even worse reaction. She really doesn't handle disaster movies well apparently. But my family loved it!

Okay, gotta go...but in the interest of foreshadowing...the wedding tonight? Let's just say that one of the women who will be there tried to get her hands on my man a couple of years ago. If she so much as looks in his direction...there may be trouble. And you'll get to hear all about it tomorrow. Who's got bail money?? Just kidding...I like my revenge way more subtle...


Friday, November 13, 2009

How I convinced the hospital lady she didn't know what day it was

This whole being a full time writer thing has turned my brain to mush. Really. I mean I might not have been the most "with it" gal to begin with but it's gotten so much worse. I'm so wrapped up in thinking, plotting, what if-ing, writing that I lose all sense of time, place and sanity. Yes, everyone does still have clean underwear and socks and I do manage to emerge from my world and get supper on the table but that's about it. Here's the conversation I had with the hospital when they called to remind me of Lulu's appointment~

Hospital lady: Hi is this Molly?

Me: No. This is her mom.

HL: Oh. Okay. This is Blessing Hospital calling to remind you about her heart echo tomorrow at 1pm.

Me: Her appointments supposed to be on Friday.

HL: That's right. Tomorrow is Friday.

Me: No it's not. Today is only Wednesday. Isn't it?

HL: Um. I don't think so. Hold on, I'll check. (I'm so adamant, she's doubting herself)

Me: Oh. Crap. You're right. It is Thursday. So her appointment is tomorrow.

HL: Whew! Please don't make me work an extra day. Haha.

Me: (completely embarrassed) I'm sorry. We'll be there.

The really bad part? She called while I was in the middle of writing my "spread the word" Thursday post. So on some level...I had to have known it was Thursday. Sad and scary I tell you. I feel like the absentminded professor. Only not so smart. And more absent minded.

The Stephen King book. Rules. I'm only allowing myself 80 pages a day so I don't just drop the novel writing and devour his book instead. He's just so good. I find myself noticing descriptive turns of phrase and thinking "why don't I think of these?" Because I'm not him. That's why. Speaking of him, here's a convo Sean and I had the other day while waiting in line at the grocery store~

Me: (reading tabloid headlines out loud) OMG. Seriously, if you were married to her, would you cheat with her?

Sean: Not a chance.

Me: Me neither! Man, I bet they get so tired of having their lives plastered all over the magazines and tabloids. Maybe I don't want to be famous. Then again, Stephen King's famous and you never see him in the tabloids.

Sean: (looking at me incredulously) Of course he's not in the tabloids! He's Stephen freakin King. Can you imagine writing something bad about him? I mean he'd show up on your doorstep and be all Really? Really? You're going to mess with me? and you'd crap your pants. Because you'd know that the Boogeyman was gonna get your butt.

Me: True. So the trick is to be famous, but really scary. So that nobody wants to mess with you.

And then on the way home. I was driving along on the highway and all of a sudden a hawk flies near the car. And seriously, I thought it was going to hit the windshield. So I ducked. Sean looks at me and~

Sean: Did you just duck?

Me: Yeah. So?

Sean: You know that doesn't help right? I mean you're

Me: Um. I know that. It's just instinctive reaction.

Sean: But it doesn't help. Look, there's something here (he taps on the windshield in front of me) and here (he taps on the sun roof) and omigod here (he taps on his side window) what is it? We're trapped!! Oh no! It's the witches! Witches have trapped us, what will we do?! How will we escape? (He sticks one hand out the open sunroof) Help help! Someone save me!

Me: (speeding down the highway laughing my ass off) you're ridiculous.

Sean: Riiiggghhht. I'm the ridiculous one. Which one of us got lost and wandered around aimlessly in Hobby Lobby today until I rescued them. Oh yeah. You.

I don't know if I mentioned this before or not...but Sean is somewhat of a sarcastic bastard. He comes from a long line of them. And I really did get lost in the store. I couldn't find the clearance items. Until he pointed to the clearance sign. Five rows in front of me. Sheesh.

Happy Friday (it is Friday, right?),

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's freakin Thursday already?

Lately my days have blended together and flown by. I think it's because I spend so much time right here in front of my computer. If I'm not showing some bloggy love, I'm working on the novel. It's crazy. Yesterday I had to take an enforced break from writing and go to town. (I'm pretty sure I had withdrawal symptoms). I had to take a "stress test". Um. Let me just say that was probably the most not fun I've had since last Tuesdays trip to the ER with Lulu. But you can read all the funny about it over at G & H. Then I had to grocery shop. Now, usually I kinda like grocery shopping. But is it just me, or have the prices of every little thing gone up again? Then I came home and there were groceries to put away, a refrigerator that I swear I'd grown penicillin in, laundry to do, and then my guys expected some supper. A friend called and when I answered the phone~

J: I didn't know if you'd answer. I thought you might be writing.

Me: No. I just got home from the store. I'm actually doing laundry.

J: Oh. I guess you still have to do your other job.

Me: Well yeah, until I can afford someone else to do it for me.

And then after dinner, I chose to sit on the couch and snuggle my extremely neglected husband for awhile. He responded with "What's your name again? And you do know I'm married, right?" He's such a funny guy. Or sarcastic bastard. One of the two. So today it's back to the dungeon for me. I need to crank out about 5000 words. And two blog posts. And clean straighten my house. So without further ado...Spread the word Thursday....

First shout out to, UPS, and Stephen freakin King. Because around 5:30 last evening a huge truck pulled up in my drive. I'd forgotten to turn on the outside lights and it was way dark already so all I could see were the lights. So I headed to the front door and opened it and it was my UPS guy (did I ever mention how adorable he is? If not, well he so is) and he handed me...Under the Dome, Master King's newest book. O.M.G. It was like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one, I was that freakin excited. But I was a good girl. Kind of. I didn't open the box or peek at the book or read the first 80 pages until four hours later. Four whole hours people!!! Let me just's going to be a great book. And a ginormous distraction.

Funniest read of the week? Well a tie again:

1. The Blogess. Japan. Part one of I-don't-even-know-how-long-this-will-be. Normally I don't include her in my game because everything she writes is laugh out loud pee your pants funny. But she outdid even herself this time. Also she has several thousand readers so she doesn't need my help. And, if you should decide to pick up stakes and follow her instead of me, *sigh* well I'd totally understand.

2. Happy Meals and Happy Hour. The One Where The Kid Walks In On Us. I'm pretty sure we can all relate. And laugh.

That's all I got peeps. Have a good Thursday. See you tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veteran's Day and How I Scare Myself...

First, Happy Veteran's Day. I'm not a veteran but my daddy is so I'm going to bask in his glory today. I also know lots of people currently in the service. Probably alot more then most people who don't live on a military base. Mostly because of Boy Scouts. It seems to me that an inordinate amount of Boy Scouts end up joining the service. Maybe it's because they already know how to wear uniforms and do what they're told. Maybe it's because there's not a whole lot else to do around here. Strangely enough, and this really weirds me daughter's first ever boyfriend is a Marine now. And he just came back from Iraq in August. So technically, he's a veteran. It's probably just me, but since I've known him since he was like fifteen, that totally seems soooo strange to me. He called her like two days after he'd gotten to Iraq and we just happened to be in the ER because her platelets had dropped really low again and when he found out she was in the ER he's all "don't you die on me" and she's all "NO! Don't you die on me!" and then started crying. And the nurse and I even teared up. It was crazy. And no, they weren't still dating. But they've stayed really close over the years. Anyway, thank you to everyone who is in or has been in the service. Even if you don't support war. Support the troops. They deserve it.

Want to know something else that weirds me out? Me. Seriously, so I'm going about this whole NaNo business of writing my novel. Which you should already have guessed is horror fiction. (Because I'm scary, that's why). And some days I log on to the sight to procrastinate check out the forums and once someone had posted a question that if you are writing horror, do you ever scare yourself? And I was all that's ridiculous, I know it's made up because I made it up! But (there's always a but) the other night I was writing furiously and I didn't realize that it had gotten dark since I'd been sitting there and when I saved my work and got up form my computer, I realized that it was pitch black in my house. I went to flick the family room light on and it burnt out (pop!). So I'm creeping down the hall, a little bit on edge and one of the cats jumps at me from the shadows. Yep, I nearly wet myself. I did give a little scream. You'd think that would have taught me, huh? Well you'd think wrong. Last night, the guys were all away from home and I sit down at the computer and as I'm writing a dream my character is having, I realize I'm totally creeping myself out. I know all I have to do is look behind me to see the light, but I'm too afraid to do it!! Hopefully, this means my writing is good. And not just that I'm the worlds biggest fraidy cat. Because that would suck.

I'm 10,111 words into the novel. I'm way behind on where my word count should be for NaNo. But it's the longest piece I've ever written. I'm so proud of myself. Not as proud as I will be when it's finished. But pretty freakin proud. And I think it's coming along well. Loads of editing to do, but I think I'll at least get the basic storyline down this month. It's careened into much darker territory than I had originally planned, but that's good for a horror story I think.

Thanks to all of you who have encouraged and continue to support my efforts. I'm lucky, my family has really gotten behind me on this one. As have my friends. And my blog friends. Last night on facebook, I posted a status that read "I am the Queen of Procrastination Land". My friend commented "Yes. You are. Now go write!"


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Like nanny-nanny-boo-boo. Only for writers.

NaNoWriMo...betcha can't say it three times fast! And please, not in my presence. So I signed up for the NaNoWriMo thing. Why you ask? Because I'm a glutton for punishment? Because who doesn't like starting the holiday season already completely bug eyed and sleep deprived? Because...well...because I wanted (still want) to write a novel. And being taunted and pressured has always worked well for me. Really, I'm that girl who got up at 6 am the morning a paper was due and cranked it out in two hours and got an A+, even though others worked on theirs for two weeks and didn't pass. Writing is just what I do. Always have. From the minute I picked up my first crayon and learned to write my name. It's an obsession. I don't write because I want to, I write because I have to. I have dozens of old notebooks filled with bits of writing. A scene here, a dialogue there, an old poem. I breathe, therefore I write. And it's not always good. And it's not always worth saving. Some of it is major crap. But I keep it because who knows, maybe it'll will be inspiration.

I've always wanted to write a novel. I've written poems. I'm really comfortable with short fiction. But a novel seemed like such a stupendous task. That's a lot of words. And a lot of time. And for what? Just because you finished doesn't mean anyone is ever going to read it. See the writing gig seems to me like a crap shoot. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. No promises. No guarantees. And honestly, I was super afraid. What if I sat there and nothing came out. And actually, that's never ever happened to me. But the fear is still there. Or what if I started and didn't finish? That seems like an epic fail. Or what if it's no good? I had a million reasons not to try. Until NaNoWriMo. So now that I've started? It's good. And it's fun. I still procrastinate. I'm still behind in my word counts. My plot has taken on a new twist. My characters seem to have a mind of their own. And I'm constantly asking people "what if"? And it feels good.

Now one thing I've always loved is when writers (especially my all time number one favorite, Stephen King) include how they thought of a particular story. Or how they write. You know, what helps them get the ole creative juices flowing. I think it's fascinating to find out how creative people create. So browsing the web last night while trying to sign in to NaNo (don't know whether it was the site or my computer but something wasn't cooperating) I came across this article, How To Write a Great Novel. And it was filled with authors (none of whom I'd ever read but apparently prize winners) and how they write. It was amazing. And the most comforting part? They're all scared. They all have the same insecurity about what if the words don't come? So obviously, I'm in good company. Although I was a little scared by the amount of planning and plotting some do and the elaborate methods. I mean I have a few scribbled post its but no super color coded outline!!

The other thing I pondered last night was when exactly do you call yourself a writer? See to me, I've always thought that it wasn't fair to call yourself a writer until you'd been paid for your work. Or published. Had some kind of recognition of your craft. When people ask what I do, I never say "oh, I'm a writer". I tell them I'm a Domestic Goddess. But I found tons of blogs and homepages through NaNo of other people who do call themselves writers even though they've never published. This is a dilemma for me. Really. Hubby says that since I had poetry published in high school and college newspapers I get to call myself a writer. But I don't know. Maybe I'm still waiting on the validation. What does anyone else think? Do you call yourself a writer? And if so, why? If not, why not? What inspires you? How do you write? Where do you write? Fascinate me...

happy writing to all,

Monday, November 9, 2009

Why no one ever lets me have the sharp knives...

grumble grumble grumble. That's how I feel about this morning. Seriously. I cannot get motivated. It's too warm for one thing. Hello, mother earth? I'd just like to remind you that it's November here. Where is the chilly? I like wearing a sweatshirt when I go outside. I like that the cold air kills all the bugs. I like wearing slippers in the house. So please, lets get back on track, shall we? Do not make me turn the air conditioner back on. That would just be ridiculous.

I'm also sad that Lu went home. I mean I'm super duper excited that she was feeling so much better and I did make her sign a promise (in blood of course, duh) that she would get plenty of rest and call me if she even felt a twinge worse. And taking care of her did send my days spiraling madly out of control. But I miss her madly.

And NaNoWriMo. Oh. My. God. Due to recent events I've spent less time working on my novel than was probably prudent. I got a cheerful email this morning reporting that I should be 15,000 words in. Really? I guess this means I need to pull roughly 10,000 words out of my ass in the near future. Aaaaaargh. Don't get me wrong. I'm still glad I'm participating it's just getting back on track that may be the issue. And I'm still really questioning their decision to make November the month. I mean now we are officially having Thanksgiving at my house which is going to take two full days from my schedule. Not to mention, that I absolutely have to start thinking "Christmas" or I'm going to be way behind schedule there. Not to mention the normal every day things that fall into my lap. I might be freaking out here just a smidge. And then my brain goes and starts in with the "what ifs" and the novel is taking a whole new plot twist and I don't even know how it's going to end now??! And of course it's me, so the plot just got darker and scarier. Big surprise, eh?

So enough grumbling. I'm going to head over to Gert & Hildi today and pick up some slack there since Hildi's had her hands full lately. And I promise it will be humorous. But I will leave you with another tidbit from Saturday night's dinner convo~

Mo (Lulu) was seated between her father and her boyfriend Luke. Hubby is always at the head of the table and I always sit on his left side. Well for some reason she picked up her steak knife and placed it on her dad's forearm as a joke.

Mo: I could cut you.

Hubby: No. You don't have the guts. Do it.

Mo: (pressing the knife down a little harder) I could. I do too.

Hubby: No you don't. Go on do it. I want to see you try.

Mo: (a tiny bit harder, but you can tell she won't do it) I could.

Hubby: (still taunting) you wouldn't. you're too chicken.

Me: (reaching over and taking the knife) Oh hell I'll do it.

Hubby: (quickly grabbing my hand) I know you'd do it.

Me: (dropping knife and shrugging) well you shouldn't taunt people.

*Everyone is laughing at this exchange by now*

Sean: Dad, she's done cutting her steak, you should probably take her knife away.

Hubby: you probably couldn't pierce the skin with one of our knives anyway. It would take a lot of pressure.

Me: (grabbing my knife and reaching over) Oh I bet I could!

Hubby: (once again, staying my hand) Well yeah, you could. You've got that whole downward psycho slasher grip thing going on there.

Me: Well you should not taunt people. And hell yeah, if I'm gonna do a job, I'm gonna get it done right.

Hubby: Once again proving that while people think I'm the scary one, they should definitely be more afraid of you.

Me: (completely innocent sweet smile) I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

Hubby: (to rest of table) And this is why we only have dull knives in the house.

You shouldn't taunt people. I'm just saying...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Gather round the table...

So I got two comments on yesterday's blog. And while I am fully appreciative of those two comments (you guys rock!), it seems to me that this suggests that nobody wants to listen to me whine. Which is totally unfair because other people whine on their blogs and they still get like 35 comments but whatever. I don't hold grudges. Because they're messy and you get that stuff all over your hands and then it takes like days to get it off and it stains your whole aura and really, who wants to walk around with a stained aura? That's right. Not me. So I'm now officially over it.

As an update on Lulu~ we actually did not go back to the ER yesterday morning. We decided to give it a little time and see how it went (yes, OK, we were both completely tired and grumpy and had abso-freakin-lutely no desire to go back there like ever again.) Actually, I relied on the "spidey sense". And it was telling me that she wasn't in dire need of medical attention. And as the day went on she improved. She even sat in the kitchen while I made dinner last night and after some motrin, all of her pain was gone. Which is the first time in days. She's feeling so much better in fact, that she wants to go back to Iowa today. I told her "we'd see" which is Mom code for I'll totally decide that when I see how you are tomorrow morning and don't even think you can fake me out because I have eyes in the back of my head and spidey senses.

So I ended up with a full table for dinner last night. Hubby, Sean, Lu & Luke, Brian & Molly and our friend Brandi. Now, Brandi is a program director for the camp for persons with disabilities that both Lu & Sean work at every summer so she knows my kids really well and hubby. We've only recently become friends and you will remember her as the haunted house screamer. She had never been to our house for dinner. So I'd hand seasoned a large amount of venison steaks and had hubby grill them. I made a big (and by big, I mean huge) pot of homemade mac-n-cheese, carrots in butter and brown sugar and sliced a loaf of french bread. There was a lot of laughter while making dinner. (We have a large eat in kitchen and people have a tendency to congregate there while I cook). Some of it because after hubby went out to start the grill, I asked who was going to go sit outside with him and keep him on task. (he has a tendency to let his mind wander and ends up burning whatever meat he's grilling. As I spend alot of time hand rubbing seasoning on to the meat, this really pisses me off). Of course everyone's hand flew to their nose and screams of "not it" filled the air. In the end, Sean volunteered. And by volunteered I mean lost.

When it was done, and the table set, and the drinks poured and we began sitting down I looked at Brandi and said "wow, you've never been to dinner at the Turner house before. I hope you're ready, you will never be the same." and she replied "that's what I'm hoping for". I warned her that conversation is very rarely appropriate. And I did not lie. Conversation flew and it consisted of such varied topics as:

~The upcoming vote in California legislation to legalize marijuana.
~The 80's one hit wonder group "flock of seagulls" and whether or not they had a fan club consisting of three men in their 40's who gather in one of them's mother's basement at least once a month.
~Tye dyed underwear and tye dye tuesdays
~the zombie apocalypse and why our house is the best place to hole up.
~whether mac-n-cheese on it's own could really be considered a meal
~twilight mania and why I think Edward's hair is totally gross
~Luke's opinion that Edward's hair is the best thing about twilight movies
~Books, especially Pride Prejudice & Zombies (so we like zombies, so what?)

And then I told a story about our little black kitty "Cujo" and our huge catdog "Spot". Spot was laying on the coffee table yesterday and Cujo (who's roughly half Spot's size but is convinced he's a badass) snuck up behind him and smacked him with his paw while making this high pitched meow. Sean said Cujo was screaming like a little girl because he realized Spot might turn around and eat him. I said it was Cujo's war cry and it was sure to confuse his enemies. And then~

Me: I haven't heard a sound that girlie since Sean screamed the other day.
Sean: Jesus mom! It was one time. You said you wouldn't tell.
(At this point everyone's rolling, knowing that Sean's just playing along)
Sean: and I'm telling you that freakin mouse came out of nowhere!!!

And towards the end of the meal I announced that there was butterscotch pudding for dessert. Which garnished me a few incredulous looks from my menfolk. Apparently, I was supposed to announce this at the beginning of dinner so that they "saved room". Um. Just a thought...don't stuff yourself to the point of bursting in case of dessert. Just saying...

Here's to a better week,

Disclaimer~ Brandi does not eat venison. She didn't want anyone to think she ate Bambi or anything.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Life in Limboland...or Saturday morning

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh! That's the sound I want to make this morning. Loudly. I have refrained however. Mostly because there are still some people in this house who are sleeping. And I hate it when people make a lot of noise when you're sleeping. Even though almost everyone in my house does it to me.

You know how you just start to think that things are okay and your life just might get back to normal? And then um...they don't? Yeah, that's pretty much the story of my life this week. So if you've been reading my blogs this week you know that my daughter Mo (short for Molly but you can call her Lulu if you want) has been ill. Really ill. Like lets go to the ER and spend the entire day there ill. Well, as of yesterday she was feeling better. Fever free, no bladder symptoms, no nausea and her kidney pain was less. Don't get me wrong she still spent the entire day in bed but she wasn't looking like she wanted to die. So her doctor calls, I report the good news and we both think that she's on the road to recovery. Her boyfriend arrived last night and took over the "let's try to keep Mo entertained" duties. And I was muy (that's Spanish for very) grateful because I felt like crap. Went to bed early and woke up several times in the night convinced I was dying or coming down with the flu. Luckily the fever broke in the night and this morning I just feel slightly icky.

Mike and Sean had a meeting in town. Bobby, Mo and Luke (the boyfriend) are all still sleeping so of course I boot up the computer to enter blogland. Half hour later, Mo wakes up and comes into my office (which is also the family room). She's back to feeling like crap. Both kidneys are hurting again. It hurts to pee. She's got a major headache. And she's nauseous again. THE HELL?!'s my day to feel bad and lay on the couch!!! But, I remind myself (quite loudly in my head) I'm the mommy. I signed the contract (someone totally should have pointed out that fine print!). So I get her situated on the couch (casting a longing glance at said couch), meds, juice, movie in the DVD player. Then I call the doctors office. But her doctor is not there today. (And even though she calls me from home...I would feel weird calling her at home) So the nurse for the doctor that is there tells me we need to go back to the ER. For real?? Back to purgatory?? Back to swine flu exposure and waiting for hours in the waiting room?? Mo looks at me and says "um. no. I don't want to." Guess what kiddo? Me either!! (Although thanks to Kathryn, I have a whole Hershey bar in my purse and a new book, so I'm prepared!)

I'm really up in the air about this though. I mean, I'd be rushing her back to the ER if she was running a fever again. Or throwing up. Or even if the pain was bad enough to make her cry. But while she's clearly in discomfort, she's not in distress. So do I wait to take her in, and see if her doctor calls? Or do I follow the nurses advice and take her right in? Why does nobody warn you that you'll have to make these kind of judgement calls as a mommy? Why isn't there a manual? You "if this...then this" kind of dealio?? That would be sooo helpful. But no, lets just leave it all on the shoulders of the mom. *sigh*

Hope the rest of you are having a better weekend,

Friday, November 6, 2009

It's Friday? Where did the week go?

So I've got to tell you guys...I'm exhausted. It has been a humdinger of a week. Between Mo's illness and this whole daylight savings time BS, I can barely see straight. Throw in the guilt I'm feeling over not devoting at least two hours a day to NaNoWriMo and I think I might be on "overload". So in the interest of preserving my sanity and yet still providing you with a half way decent post, I dug out something old. Well, not that old. Couple years tops. And by 'couple of years' I totally mean five. And yes, it is poetry again. Sorry for those of you who showed up for funny and got poetry instead. Sometimes we can't have what we want (because I really want to be done with my novel and to be able to take a 3 hour nap. Neither is happening today). Sometimes the candy bowl is filled with dum dum suckers instead of chocolate. It happens. Stop whining.

The Muse

So you traded in your faerie wings
all fluttery opalescent brilliance,
swapped them for some demon horns
slightly bent and always in need of polishing.
Took off your flowing dress
of softest velvet petals,
and cloaked yourself in thorns instead,
sharp, poison-tipped things.
No longer accompanied by lilting notes
softest breezes, natures murmurings.
Now, you're lulled to sleep by
the cacophony of human suffering.
Instead of the innocent laughter
of children and young lovers-
you prefer the anguished wails
of the dying and newly damned.
When I chanced to ask you why
the choice, the change?
You merely gave me your recently
perfected satanic smirk
and replied-
That finding lost souls and luring them
to the seductive darker side
was far more easy then inspiring
the unimaginative masses.
Far more fun to cause tears
then to lighten the sadness.
On the whole, you'd simplified your life,
cut your losses and moved on.
And wasn't there something that I'd like..
you could cut me a deal.

SMT 03/04

Like it? Great! Don't like it? Well that's okay too. To each his own.

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend,

Thursday, November 5, 2009

It's Thursday again...time to share...

the limelight, the laughter, the mundane. Wait? I don't know what that last one is doing there! So in the interest of "Spread the Word" Thursdays (yes, I am still working on a button thingy. Damn real life for getting in the way!) here's today's post...

First shout out goes to Mo's (Lulu's) doctor~

Thank you Becky Campbell, CNP for going above and beyond the call of duty for my children on a consistent basis. This poor woman has been dealing with my children and me for a very long time. And yet, still seems sane. She returns my phone calls to her office personally, no leaving it to the nurse. She regularly asks my opinion on what's possibly wrong with my kids and trusts my gut instincts. She will call to check on my children daily if they are really really sick. For instance, Mo's freshman year she ended up with Whooping Cough (I know right?! At the time I didn't even know you could still catch that but apparently there has actually been a resurgence of it in teenagers) and was in bed for 3 months. Becky called daily. Sometimes even late at night from home. To me, this is over and above what a regular physician would do. And this latest illness has been no different. I feel blessed that we've had her. The doctor that she works under is also a blessing. He too is amazing and very involved with his patients. And they are good at what they do! So thank you Mo's doctors!!!

Second...I have a tie for funniest blog I've read this week. Please check both out. Surprisingly (or maybe not) both deal with bodily functions. And both are laugh out loud funny. So I give to you~

Mark's post on a text convo he had ~ To pee or not to pee

Monster Apathy's post ~ I've had too much sugar maybe. I will warn you that his blogs may not be for everyone so don't go read it if easily offended!!

Third shout out is to Kathryn for being a good friend and helping out my wannabe writer butt.

Fourth shout out is to my son, Sean. For never failing to make me laugh on a daily basis. For being a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios. And for engaging in ridiculous conversations like this one~

Sean- Mark brought up that deer for us. (Friends own a meat locker in a small town an hour away. Last night they called and said someone brought in a tagged deer but didn't want the meat, did we want it. They'd butcher it for free for us. We have awesome friends!) Dad told me to put it in the little deep freeze but there was no room so I put it in the big one.

Me- yeah that's because he keeps saying he wants to clean out the big one. It's getting really full, isn't it?

Sean- yeah, I had to rearrange stuff since it was a huge box. You do know that the entire bottom half is full of deer meat?

Me- yes, I'm sending some home with Molly for her and Luke. And I'll probably take some to my uncle. But it should last us most of the winter and I won't have to buy too much other meat. And then again...I'm kind of stocking up in case of a zombie apocalypse.

Sean- you know, I've given this some thought and I think that if you cooked zombie just right it might be kind of tasty.

Me- really?! I don't know...and wouldn't you get infected if you ate zombie flesh?

Sean- No. You'd cook the infection out. I mean, there's no zombie sushi that's for sure. No medium rare in the zombie apocalypse diet. Everything has to be well done.

Me- What about zombie jerky?

Sean- now you're catching on!

Me- Zombie salami? (at which point we both started laughing so hard I couldn't keep going)

These crazy conversations keep me sane.


PS- Mo(Lulu) is feeling better today. Yay for antibiotics!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The stairway to real life...shouldn't there be an elevator?

Ah, another day has come to a close. And I couldn't be happier to see this one go. If yesterday was purgatory, today was the stairway back to the real world. Mo's cat, Sparkplug (don't ask), woke me up by attacking the screen in my window. Apparently there was a grasshopper trapped between the screen (we have the kind of windows where the screen is on the inside) and the outer window. And even more apparently, it was taunting him. Apparent to him, that is. I hauled my sorry oh so tired butt from the bed and pulled him from the window with a stern admonishment "bad kitty! go away". I guess he doesn't speak early morning yawn talk because he jumped right back into the window and I knew that any further attempt at sleep was futile. Grr.

I got online did some email stuff, commented some blogs, got the link to my blog on Did a little dance when I saw it! Here is the link to it~ me on if anyone would like to leave a review, it would be much appreciated. =]

Then I woke Mo up to check on her. She had slept mostly through the night. But woke up still in pain and still running a 101.5 degree fever. This is not good. I got her painkillers, antibiotic and juice. Then I called her regular doctor. She got all the ER results and notes. Then called me back. She wanted us to come in for an ultrasound of the bladder and kidneys. Mo was not happy about this, just in case you're wondering. So we did that. Then I ran a couple of errands while she waited in the car. Came home, made dinner, talked to the doctor. Ultrasound was fine. No stones, deformities or tumors! So just a really bad infection and we have to wait on culture sensitivities (which should be available tomorrow) before making any more treatment decisions. But her fever is down tonight and she is much more comfortable, so fingers crossed for a better tomorrow!

Did I mention that I have stumbled through my day today on four hours of sleep? Mmmmhmm. All my own fault. After blogging last night, sometime around midnight, I went to Facebook. I had to work in the sweets factory on yoville! And then I made the huge, I mean ginormous, mistake of clicking on the play Bejeweled Blast button. NO!!! I was too stressed for bed yet, so I figured I'd wind down. 100 freakin games later I realize the time and defeat the urge to play just one more game!!!

thank you for your concern for Mo,

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Tuesday or the day I spent in purgatory...

Oh. My. Stars. You would not believe the day I've had. And yet, here I am at 10:30 at night blogging it so you have something to read. I know, I'm a total martyr. But not quite because I'm pretty sure you have to be dead to be a martyr and I'm not ready to be dead. So maybe I'm just a masochist instead. Which isn't nearly as cool. But they both start with "m". So I guess I'll take it.

Now...I want to preface this post with the fact that I am (usually) a really really nice person. I smile at complete strangers, I am polite, and I firmly believe you catch more flies with honey, then vinegar. (translation from old south to english: you get more by being nice then mean.) And I rarely lose my temper in public. Oh...but today...

My day started out pretty normally. I woke up before the alarm at 7:45, reached for my cell phone, checked messages. And then Cujo (black kitty) jumped on the bed for some ear scratches. Mo (Lulu) passes through the room on her way to the bathroom. She looks like death warmed over. She got to the house yesterday evening and said she hadn't been feeling well. That she thought her UTI (bladder infection) hadn't gone away even though she was done with the antibiotics. So she gets in the shower, I get coffee and answer emails. Then I get the shower and get ready to leave. By the time we're ready to leave she's laying on my bed moaning. Her left lower back is killing her, she's chilling and running a fever. So I tell her we are going to ER as soon as she gets her blood test done.

We hop in my car, I start it up and it's making this squeaking sound that I've never heard before. When I try to turn the wheel, I notice the power steering is not working. It's like turning a Mack truck. (Okay, I might be wrong, because I've really never driven a Mack truck, but I'm pretty sure they're hard to turn.) So we decide to take her car. Get in, readjust everything (because she's so short!) so I can drive. As we pass the drive to hubby's workshop, I spot him outside and wave him over. I quickly explain the car sitch. He says he'll call Brian. I say, you should probably get in and at least start it so you see what I mean so that you can tell him better. He says he'll take care of it. I have a witness (Mo) that he said this!!!

We get to town, go to the cancer center for her blood work, and then proceed to the ER. Not too many people sitting around so there's hope this will be quick. By this time, she's in tears and goes to lay down on a bench. I get in line behind this woman with 3 small children (and pregnant with a fourth) and the children are wild. I mean all over the place, touching everything with their little germy fingers. And yes, they were all being checked in. Now, I had 3 kids under 3 yrs of age and one of them was autistic for Pete's sake and they never behaved like that. So then they wheel in this guy in a wheel chair who's in obvious pain and the nurse says he needs to check in first. Not a problem, dude's seriously not well. I get that. But then it's my turn to check Mo in and there's a guy in line behind me, when another receptionist comes to the desk and checks in some guy who just walked in!!! I've been standing here for 25 minutes. Are you for real?? He doesn't even look sick!

So we finally get her checked in and then we sit down to wait for the triage nurse. They take back an elderly woman who comes in with chest pain in front of us, okay I get that too. This girl who comes in coughing in her hands, when every preschooler knows you cough in your elbow to avoid spreading germs comes in and sits right across from us!! Like there's no other seats Ebola girl?? It's another 30 minutes and they've taken in 'off the street' guy and a few others who should have been after us and I'm getting angry. Molly's ex boyfriend texts me and I tell him about my car because he's also a mechanic and he offers to go look at it for me. I say I'll text hubby to see if he's called Brian yet. I text him. He texts back: I thought you were going to. OH MY BOB!!! No, he didn't. He told me he'd take care of it. Is this really what I need??? I tell him Michael is coming over to look at it. Two minutes later he texts that he called Brian and he's coming out to look at it too and where are the keys? Um. My keys are in my purse because I tried to use it this morning. Where are your keys? He texts he doesn't know. Mo says "wasn't he supposed to go drive it so he'd know the noise it was making". Well, I thought he was but apparently he didn't get the memo. Huge surprise. He dropped the ball again. Maybe because it has nothing to do with work. So then he says he'll have Brian come get my keys. Whatever. Fine. I'm pissed now.

Brian calls me two minutes later.
Brian: where are you at?
Me: The ER waiting room.
Brian: Where's that?
Me: The hospital. Duh.
Brian: How do I get there?
Me: For real? You don't know where the hospital is? You've lived in town for over a year!
Brian: The one on 11th & Broadway?
Me: The only one in town? Yes, that would be it. The parking lot for ER is off Broadway and the doors are right there.
Brian: Well I'm on 18th street. How do I get there?
Me: *huge exasperated sigh* Drive to Broadway and then head towards the river. You can't miss it. It's the really big building that says Hospital on the side!!!

So then I go to the reception desk because my baby is crying she's in so much pain. I ask if they have any freakin idea how much longer it might be since they keep taking other people back. About that time the nurse comes out and calls Mo's name. We go back to triage and explain the pain, the fever, the nausea, the chills, the fact that she'd already had a full course of antibiotics for the UTI. And the fact that she has a blood disorder and her platelets are probably low. The one nurse takes her to the restroom to get a urine while I finish answering questions. The other nurse comes back and says we'll send her to urgent care. And I say~

Me: No. You won't. She needs to be seen in ER because they will want to do IV fluids and antibiotics.

Nurse: You think it's more then just a UTI?

Me: Considering the fever, the chills and the fact she's already been treated for a UTI once? Um. Yeah. I think it's a freakin kidney infection.

Nurse: oh. alright then.

But they have no ER beds so back to the waiting room we go. Thankfully, about this time Brian calls and says hubby found his keys so he doesn't have to come get them after all. Twenty minutes later they finally get us back, get her into a gown and into a bed. The nurse says we'll need a urine. We inform her they already did that and I tell her that they already did a CBC at the cancer center and they can probably call for those results (hoping to save her at least one needle stick). The doctor comes in and thankfully it's one of the good ones! (we have some really bad ones). He asks questions, examines her, asks if there's a family history of kidney stones (yes) and kidney infections (yes). He says he'll start her on IV fluids and get her some painkillers and something for nausea while he waits for test results. Thirty minutes go by. My child is still squirming because she's in so much pain she can't get comfortable. I go out to the nurses station and ask them why it takes 30 minutes to get IV fluids and painkillers for a sick child (yeah, I know technically she's been an adult for 5 weeks but whatever). They come in and it takes two tries to get the IV in. They start the fluids and give her the painkillers and something for nausea. Then the lab comes in for a completely different blood test then the one she had. Then, thanks to the painkiller, she passes out. I realize it's now 1:30 and I haven't had anything but a half cup of coffee today and I'm starving!!! What to do? I can't leave her. My blood sugar has got to be amazingly low and I'm about to start gnawing on my own leg when I remember that I have a half a candy bar in my purse! Yes! Not only do I have sustenance, I have chocolate sustenance!! Hooray!! So I scarfed down a half a Hershey bar so fast it would make your head swim! Crisis averted.

An hour later, Mo is still out and I've read a considerable amount of the book I threw in my purse this morning. The doctor comes in and says definitely a kidney infection. They are going to do some more fluids and IV antibiotics but she can go home after that. Platelets are low but not dangerously low. So the nurse comes in and hangs the antibiotics. Another hour goes by. Mo's still asleep and I'm finished with the book. Finally, finally we get released.

You'd think the ordeal is over right? Well you'd think wrong! Because now we have to go get her prescriptions filled. So we drive thru the pharmacy drive thru to drop them off. The lady at the window says "can you give us half an hour?". Okay. I can kill half an hour. We go to the video store because Mo wants to see I Love You Beth Cooper. We kill 25 minutes in there looking for movies (m-t-w is rent one new release, get a library title free). Then I drive back to the pharmacy, pop thru the drive thru and oh holy crap it's her. "Her" being the pharmacy lady from hell. Seriously she moves slower than molasses and I honestly believe that she might be a little um..."slow". And I'm all for giving developmentally disabled people jobs (CJ will someday have one) but not in the pharmacy!! We pull up I give her the name (everyone else at the pharmacy knows our names) and after 5 minutes she comes back empty handed and says "they're just getting to it, it'll be 20 minutes". For freakin real? It takes 50 minutes to count out 17 pills? What? Do they make their own bottles now?? I live 30 minutes out of town people. I can't just pop home and then come back. Mo's painkillers have worn off and my blood sugar is dropping dangerously low into 'you haven't even seen cranky yet' territory. Honestly, I nearly went through the drive thru window and smacked her. Instead I headed to the grocery store. Picked up some things for supper and some cranberry juice for Mo. Headed back to the pharmacy. There are now 7 cars in line for the drive thru and I know if she's still working the window we could be here for days. So I park and go in. Go up to the window, the medicine is ready (meanwhile she is still working on the first cars prescription). And lucky me...Halloween candy is conveniently on clearance! I deserve this clearance candy.

Eventually we made it home. I got Mo settled on the couch in the family room, dosed her up with painkillers, got her a heating pad and glass of juice. Fixed supper all the while regaling hubby and Sean with the tribulations of my day. We sat down in the family room to eat, watched Mo's movie and here I am. Sharing my godawful day which I spent in what must surely be purgatory with you, my friends. I hope it was at least worth a laugh. Hubby is still confused as to how I ended up with a half of a candy bar in my purse. I'm not sure why that's the important part of the story to him?? And I did text an apology to Brian for being grumpy with him. I told him I was angry with the hospital and hubby not him. And the car? Power steering fluid was empty. Apparently I have a slow leak. This could be minor, could be major. Guess we'll find out. At least it's drivable again.

Please please let tomorrow be a better day!

yes, I really said the "f" word in public,