Sunday, January 31, 2010

Conversational Snippets....

I'm really overwhelmed with the comments and appreciation for my more serious posts. It's nice not to feel like I always have to be funny. But I did promise more here goes. These are conversations amongst my family from the last few days...

The first one is from Thursday at the nursing home. My 83 year old grandma has been in the nursing home since last summer. She's not happy about it. And unfortunately she's suffering some dementia so some days she doesn't remember people, sometimes she doesn't know where she is, and somedays she makes up things. And sometimes, she thinks she's a secret agent. Do not think that I am not deeply saddened by her condition, I am. But I treat everything with humor. Because crying only messes up your mascara. And laughter lets you cope. She was a very funny person before. Very sarcastic and witty. And I know that she would like for us to continue laughing, not at her but with her. Because when she is lucid she does laugh at herself. So it's out of love that I tease her.

Grandma: I'm so tired of this place. And these people think they can keep me here. But you just wait. One of these nights I'm going to sneak out of bed and waltz right out of here.

My aunt: You can't do that. They have alarms on the doors. You have to know the code to get out.

Grandma: Humph.

Me: And even if you managed to crack the code and get outside, there's the snipers on the roof to watch out for.

Grandma: (perfectly serious) There's always something!

At the breakfast table this morning~

Me: I have so much to do today! I don't have a headache though, finally. Well, maybe a little one.

Sean: I think you're just being a girl and making it up.

Me: What do you think only girls make things up? (notice I'm totally unconcerned that he basically called me a hypochondriac)

Sean: Yeah.

Me: Whatever. You're the master prevaricator.

Sean: When was the last time I made something up?

Me: You're always making shit up and sounding all smart and I totally believe you until you say "not really, I just made that up."

Sean: Well, the things I say could be true. I don't know that they're not. They're just my theories.

Mike: He's got a valid point there.

Me: Really? Because it sounds like you just made up a lame excuse for making things up.

Sean: No. I gave you my theory on my theories.

And a couple of days ago~

Me: Blockbuster called. You returned the video game case without the video game in it.

Lu: Yeah, I know.

Me: Well you need to get it back as soon as possible because they charge 99 cents a day for every day you're late. I can't believe you forgot to put the game in the case.

Lu: I didn't forget. I wanted to keep the game and play it tonight.

Me: So why did you return the case then??

Lu: Because I thought if I returned the case, it would seem like I forgot, but I made the effort so maybe they wouldn't charge me.

Me: For real?! Oh lord Lu! The world does not work like that. You don't credit for effort.

And a long time ago~

Lu: The wind is blowing really hard today! Hey! When the wind blows hard does the earth spin faster?

Sean: Did she seriously just ask that question?!

Lu: I was kidding! I know it doesn't. Right?

Sean: Explain to me how she survives...

Well I hope those tickled your funny bones. As always, every conversation is exactly how it happened. Really, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

There are new posts at Gert & Hildi. If you haven't checked them out, you totally should because my sister is almost as strange as I am. And I'm planning to put up a new review on What Spot Saw.

And last, some people have asked me to twitter. How many of you tweet? And what are your twitter names?


Friday, January 29, 2010

My "fairy-tale" marriage...

I want to thank everyone for your comments on yesterday's post. I enjoyed writing it. And I'm going to get some of our old photos put on disks so that I can use them in future blog posts. But in the interest of not furthering the "romance fantasy" as I call it, I want to point out that while we've been together for 22 years, it wasn't easy. We've probably had as many downs as ups and some days the fact that he's breathing the same oxygen as me is on my nerves. And I'm sure there are days when he looks at me and wonders if I'd melt if he threw water on me like the Wicked Witch of the West. I think that true love is finding someone who likes you even when you may not like yourself and accepts you for who you are inside. And is willing to work with you to get through the bad things because they have faith that there are more good times on the other side. And then you hang on to them for dear life! As my mother succinctly put it yesterday~

Marriage is a full time job.

Romantic? No. True? Oh yes. And I think that's a lot of why there are such high divorce rates these days. People watch movies and get the idea that true love is easy. It falls into your lap and then you live happily ever after. False. True love falls into your lap and then you bust your ass to keep it there. I'm pretty sure there were days after the fairy tale ending that Cinderella wanted to throw those glass slippers at Prince Charming's head. Probably because he forgot to take out the garbage again. Or he went hunting when he knew she'd been stuck at home with three small sick children all week. Or he forgot to pick up bread at the grocery store when she specifically asked him to not five minutes before he walked out the door. Shit happens. Every day. Bigger shit than that happens. Believe me. But the determination to stick it out and make things work is what keeps people together. The idea that this person is worth the effort. Remembering what you saw in them in the first place and knowing that that part of them is still there. Finding new things to respect and admire about them. You don't just toss out people like you would a pair of jeans with a hole in them. You don't just go buy another pair. You slap a cute patch on that hole and sew that puppy up!

Alot of people we've known through the years have thought we had a "fairy tale" marriage. I'd like to disabuse everyone of that notion. Because that would imply that it's easy to maintain. Oh hell no!! There have been days when it was like cleaning out a septic tank let me tell you. But the fact is we both put on our coveralls, hip boots and gloves and waded through the shit to clear things up. And never doubt communication is key. Like any other couple, we fight. Alot. Because even if you're fighting, you're still communicating. We don't attack each other. We would never call each other stupid, worthless or worse. But don't think I don't yell. And sometimes throw things. But unbreakable stuff like tupperware. Because I learned that lesson. Hubby's not really much of a voice raiser. And he's definitely not a thrower. He's way more laid back than me. And if we're fighting over something stupid? I usually slam out of the room dramatically and shut myself in my room until I've calmed down. If I'm wrong? I apologize. If I'm not? Then I decide if it's really a big deal or not. Choose your battles. If we're fighting because of something important like one of us feels taken for granted? Or hurt? Then we talk it over. We go somewhere quiet, away from the phone and the kids. And we say "I feel this way. And I feel this way because..." and we give the other person a chance to say "I didn't mean to make you feel this way. Let's change this". Does it always work? No. Do things really change? Not always. But just the act of getting it out there and knowing maybe the other person didn't mean to make you feel that way is sometimes enough of a solution in itself.

I'll stop preaching now. And I promise that tomorrow I'll be funny. And I apologize for all the analogies. In the end...I just want to add on to my mom's statement~

Marriage is a full time job. The work is hard. The pay is bad. And the hours are long. But the benefits make it completely worth it. Don't do it for the money. Do it for the love.


Disclaimer~ If you are in a bad relationship, being abused either physically or mentally, being cheated on repeatedly (Mrs. Tiger Woods this means you!), or neglected, I am absolutely not saying you can work it out. Get out now. Because people like that don't change and they aren't worth the effort. Sometimes you have to return those jeans because they just don't fit. Or they make your ass look huge.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Long long ago in a land far far away or at least thirty minutes south...

So guess what happened 22 years ago yesterday? My husband and I had our first date. And the only reason he remembered was because Sean texted him the night before. The kids and I were out to dinner and I told them. Sean immediately texted his father so that he would have a heads up because he knew he wouldn't remember on his own. Lu's only comment was "you're not going to make spaghetti are you?". She hates spaghetti. But hubby worked in a Spaghetti restaurant when we were young and we ate spaghetti alot. I mean a whole lot. Because it was free and we were poor. So alot of times we fix it to commemorate anniversaries or we go eat at the Spaghetti house. And no, even with the heads up, he didn't do anything romantic for me. Unless you count fixing the dishwasher because I kind of do. But we have an odd idea of romantic. No, the grand gesture better come next month when we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. But I'm going to pay tribute to him today.

I just browsed through some of my old blog posts, thinking maybe I already told the story of our first date. I didn't see it and since some of you are new, you wouldn't know it anyway. If you do, please skip ahead to the end. Really, I don't mind.

I moved back to America in November of 1987 and having graduated high school, being 17 and full of myself, I'd decided I didn't want to accompany my family to my Dad's next base in New Mexico. My parents weren't happy about this but we all know you can't tell a 17 year old anything. So the deal was I'd move in with my Grandma and go to Community College for two years and then transfer to University. Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men. And teenage girls. So I moved here to this little town in Illinois. Just a stopping point on my life's map. Or so I thought. I have a male cousin who's 18 months younger than me and since we were the closest in age, we hung out alot growing up. He was glad I was in town and called me up to see if I wanted to hit a movie with him and a friend. I did and met my husband. I'd been in town 3 days. He was my cousin's best friend. And he was hott. I remember making him show me his driver's license because I didn't believe he was younger than me. I didn't date younger guys. It was love (or lust) at first sight. What my family calls "lightening love" because it strikes fast and out of the blue. I even remember what he was wearing that night. Blue jeans (ripped of course), white high tops, black tshirt and an old army fatigue jacket. I have no idea what I was wearing.

Obviously, there were inherent problems. I was older and in my first year of college. He was still in high school and had been held back in first grade so he was only a sophomore. I was a world traveler who excelled at school. He was a river rat who never wanted to leave this area and slept through school when he wasn't in detention. Oh yeah, he was a bad boy and I was in love. Now I'd never ever really had to chase a guy and swore no guy was worth that. But I wasn't above strategy. You know, casually ending up in the same place or the even more devious dressing seductively and "omigosh! did you just look down my shirt?" ploys. No, I wasn't exactly innocent. But after two months of hanging out constantly, a couple of drunken make out sessions, and me pulling out all my best tricks, he still hadn't asked me out. I was completely confused and flabbergasted. Then he wrecked my car.

Yeah, you heard me right. He wrecked my car. Or rather, my parents car. It had been a wrestling tournament and he was a wrestler. A bunch of us were at the meet and he'd lost his match the night before so we were just there supporting those who were still competing. One of his friends wanted a ride to a party and I had no desire to give the guy a ride (he had a habit of punching me in the arm, hubby swears it was because the guy liked me, I think it was because he was deranged) so I gave hubby my keys. Well the next thing I know he's back, he's pissed and he says "I hit a kid". Once I'd calmed down and realized he hadn't actually run over a kid (a bit of a language barrier from all the time I'd spent in England), my heart sunk. We were both in a world of trouble. But he was so upset with himself, that I spent most of the night trying to calm him down. We had our first sober kiss on my Grandma's front porch. Both sets of parents were hopping mad and my car was undrivable. So he spent the next week driving me to work & my classes when he could. And that Friday night...

I was supposed to go to a basketball game at the university with my college friends, but I didn't like basketball (which is funny because now I love to watch it) and I wanted to see him. So I called him to see what he and my cuz were doing. This wasn't unusual, we talked on the phone alot. And he said my cuz was going to the basketball game and he hated "pumpkin pushers" (it's a wrestler/bball player hate thing in this town) and didn't want to go. I said ditto and maybe he should go to a movie~

him: Alone? That would be dorky.

Me: duh. Take a girl. You know, like a date?

Him: Oh. Well what girl? (my god, he really was a moron)

Me: Um. How should I know? Hey, ask your little sister. Sisters always know who you like. (crossing my fingers in hopes that his little sister did.)

Him: Hey Keely! Who should I take to the movies tonight?

Keely: I don't know. Who are you talking to?

Him: Stacey

Keely: Then ask her dummy!

Him: Um. So you want to go to a movie?

Me: (Not about to cut him any slack) You mean without Shannon? Like just the two of us? On a date?

Him: Um. Yeah. I guess so.

Me: Well, OK. I guess. Pick me up 6:30.

And yes, I was totally jumping up and down and mouthing "yes!". So I hung up and went to the bathroom to finish putting on makeup. My seven year old cousin was standing there watching me dance around going "I have a date!" She said "you always have a date, what's the big deal?" And I replied "but this is one I actually like!"

We went to the movies. Remember that Molly Ringwald movie "For Keeps"? Yep, that's what we saw. (And wasn't that slightly prophetic?) And then we hung out afterwards and everywhere we went people asked "where's Shannon?" Everyone was so used to seeing the three of us together. And the next question was "are you guys like on a date then?". And we'd look at each other sheepishly and answer "yes". He drove me home in his huge ass beatup pickup truck and after coming up for air after an extended bout of kissing, it finally came out that he'd like liked me since the night we met but he figured I'd never date someone like him. And he was intimidated by the parade of college guys I dated. I told him that had all been to make him jealous and that I thought I'd practically thrown myself at him and it was about time he finally caught me. And then my cousin came by where we were parked outside Grandma's house and told me it was time to get my ass inside. That just because I was with his best friend didn't mean he wasn't going to protect my virtue (what virtue??). I laughed, but went inside so hubby would make it home by his curfew. After that night? Inseparable. We started talking about "when we get married" two weeks later where he officially "married" me with a beer tab ring. Twenty two years flies by so fast. Thank you Shannon for introducing us and being best man at our wedding and godfather to our first child, with whom you share a birthday. Thank you Keely for being smart enough to know who your idiot brother should ask out even though you were only eleven. And for being godmother to our daughter. And for countless babysitting hours.

And to everyone who thought we were too young (omygodyouweresorightwewerejustbabiesourselves!)~ in your face! Because 22 years later we're still standing here together, happy more than not, and I can't imagine having shared this journey with anyone else. As much as he drives me crazy, he's still my best friend, the one who knows my secrets, holds my tears and never ever doubts me. He encourages me to go for my dreams, be who I am and live life on my terms. His love makes me fearless. Because no matter how bad I screw up he forgives and loves me anyway.

My husband, my hero.

This summer (he may have been slightly intoxicated and laughing his ass off)~

This winter~

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

If you tell the Universe to flip off, it might break your dishwasher.

Because it totally did. Hubby says that actually it's like limescale build up or a pump or something but I know it was the Universe striking back. But again...I managed to tell it to flip off. I went out to eat. What now Universe? What now?! I know you think I'm seriously putting myself in danger taunting the universe but I'm in a rebel kind of mood. Actually, I'm in a really odd mood. So for today's post I'm going to give you conversations from yesterday...

As I said, dishwasher is broken. Hubby got up to the kitchen flooded with water yesterday morning from the dishwasher. He mopped it up (I'm going to guess that alot of foul language accompanied this...but I slept through it so I can't say for sure.) He then obsessed about the dishwasher. I mean he worked on it all day. He didn't even come to dinner and the movies with me and the kids last night. So yesterday afternoon, I get up and walk through the kitchen...he's doing dishes...

Me: What are you doing?

Hubby: Dishes.

Me: Why?

Hubby: because I'm trying to fix the dishwasher and I had to take the dirty dishes out of it.

Me: Why didn't you just holler for me? I would have done them.

Hubby: Because it's personal. This is between me and the effing dishwasher.

Me: Oh. I see. (but really I don't). Well why aren't you using the dishpan? (said blue dishpan is sitting on the counter and the sink is full of suds).

Hubby: because I can fit more in the sink without it. I hate the dishpan.

Me: Uh huh. Well I've never seen you do the dishes without the dishpan.

Hubby: When was the last time you saw me do dishes?

Me: Good point. (it was like maybe never ago).

As I'm downstairs folding clean laundry and changing loads, Sean sticks his head in the room and asks what time we're leaving. Then we begin to discuss stuff we really need to start working on for him to finish school this semester...

Sean: We really need to get some sort of routine.

Me: I have a routine.

Sean: No you don't.

Me: Um, sure I do. I have stuff that I do everyday. Just not maybe at the same time or in the same order every day. But it all gets done. That's like a routine.

Sean: That's nothing like a routine.

Me: It's kind of sort of like a routine...

Sean: No. It's really not.

Then on the way to town, Sean got a voicemail to call the head of the OA Lodge (boy scout stuff). So he calls and this is his side of the conversation...

The sky. (and by this I know the other person asked "what's up?")
Why what do you need?
You know the usual, crack and strippers.
Saint who?
What saint's church?
What about the new Scout Exec?
Anthony? Okay. See you then.

It turned out they wanted him to do a ceremony at Saint Anthony's church on Saturday. For the new scout executive's son's pack. You got that out of it, right? I hope Homeland Security never taps his phone...

And last but not least, as I was sitting here on the computer, hubby (who's still locked in mortal combat with the dishwasher) yells...

Hubby: Do you have any old toothbrushes?

Me: Um. No. Why would I save old toothbrushes?

Hubby: Do you have any new toothbrushes?

Me: Of course. (I keep lots of new ones, for overnight guests who forget theirs. I like clean breath. And good dental hygiene.) So I get up and go to my bathroom and get my toothbrush because I need a new one like every month. I brush too hard and splay out the bristles. I take it to him.

Me: Here you can have mine.

Hubby: thanks.

Me: But I don't want it back. It's like a gift. There's no return policy.

Hubby: I'm not sure why you felt the need, but I'm glad you clarified that for me.

Me: I'm just a giver. What can I say?

I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday and that the Universe doesn't break your dishwasher.

I'm doing a new review on What Spot Saw today.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

So there Universe, take that!

Yesterday morning = the morning from hell. Seriously. Monday morning around my house means very little. I mean hubby works from home and his job is pretty much 24/7 so there's no Monday. In fact, weekends are his busiest time so Monday kind of equals Wednesday for him or something vaguely resembling that analogy. Lu works retail so again no real Monday thing. Sean is home schooled and we don't really do set routines so we might work on whatever day starts our fancy. In fact, my foster son is the only one who has anything resembling a normal schedule (man, that has got suck monkey balls). So I don't dread Mondays at all. That does not stop Monday from messing with my head. It's like that thing that some religious people say "you may not believe in God, but he still believes in you" only replace "God" with "Monday" and "believes" with "hates".

First off, the cat wakes us up two minutes before my husbands alarm, by jumping on the nightstand and knocking all my crap (cell phone, books, glasses, lamp, clock) off of it. Then it takes forever to get hubby moving (it's the Monday curse). Which means that I am now awake which translates into "Shit. Now I have to pee." Then I look out the window and realize it snowed. And it's really cold in the house. So by the time I crawl back into bed, I'm shivering. Takes a minute to warm up and drift back off. Twenty minutes later, one of the cats is back and she's nuzzling my face. She gets a push and I pull the covers over my head. An hour later I can hear Hubby warming something up in the microwave. (Did I mention he's the 2nd noisiest person on the planet?) I glance at the clock and realize it's 7:30 and I listen. Nope. Noisiest person on the planet, aka foster son, aka Bobby is not up. I shiver my way into the kitchen to confront my husband.

Me: How come you didn't wake Bobby up? He has school! And it's going to take him extra drive time because it snowed?! I reminded you before you got out of bed!

Hubby: Relax, it's only 7. I have time.

Me: *walking backwards five steps to check the time on the thermostat* um. No. It's 7:30.

Hubby: Really? Wow I must have lost track of time. I'll go do it now.

I return to my warm cocoon, pondering how you lose track of time when you're watching one of those morning programs that has the time in the bottom left hand corner of your TV??! Then Bobby races upstairs, brushes his teeth, combs his hair, and slams out of the house in a whirlwind of very noisy activity. Would it kill that kid to shut the bathroom door in the morning?? Or not slam the front door?? I shake my head in frustration and drift back off...for twenty minutes. Then I awake to the sound of a cat digging their claws into the carpet in my bathroom. I lift my head. It's Axel. My insane cat. I go in and make her stop and realize that some kitty has decided to pee on the rug by the toilet. Gah!!! Earlier in the year, one of our kitties passed away from a kidney disease. But before she took her leave she managed to pee in various spots all over my carpeted house. I spent days cleaning carpets to get the smell out. I spent weeks shutting doors to keep the other kitties from those spots. We hadn't had a problem in months. Now, I know it wasn't Axel who committed the misdeed even though she was the one trying to cover it up. This cat is so anal about using the litter box that she wouldn't even use the one I set up for her in our family room when she was confined there with her kittens. She would paw the door to get out and go use the box downstairs. So I have no idea who the culprit is, but I'm pissed. And awake.

So I start to go to the kitchen for coffee, when I pass by my family room and realize some kitty has pooped on the throw rug in there. The hell??! I yell "who pooped in the family room??!" as though the responsible kitty would come forward. Sean (who is sitting in the family room on the computer and has quite obviously missed the pile of poop) turns around, spies it, and says "I was wondering why it smelled like ass in here! Oh, and I got an email that the IRS rejected my tax submission". Bloody Hell!! I get the stuff. I clean up the kitty potty messes. I glare balefully at every kitty I pass. I get coffee and head to the computer. The email says the IRS rejected the submission because the W-2 was not filled out correctly. The hell it wasn't! I log on to the freefile site and check. Yep. Filled in correctly. Stupid freakin bureaucrats. I think they just like to reject things for fun. So I redo and resend. Then I log into blogville and come up for air four hours later. Thankfully, Sean has brought me a bowl of cereal sometime in there.

Around this same time, Lulu finally drags herself out of bed. She, like her father, could sleep through the house burning down around them.

Me: Good morning princess sunshine! I'm about to make lunch. You want chicken salad or Tuna?

Lu: Tuna. It snowed.

Me: It's still snowing. The weatherman said it's just going to be flurries. No accumulation.

Lu: *looks out window again. Looks at me perplexed.*

Me: yeah, I know. Flurries on steroids. And there's an inch out there, Dad measured. It's just the latest in the Universe's attempt to send me a message.

Lu: *still looking perplexed, having slept through my horrible morning*

Me: It's been a screwed up horrible morning. I'm pretty sure the Universe was saying "Take some painkillers and go back to bed." But I don't like being told what to do, so I didn't. I fixed things. So there Universe! Take that. Flip off!!

Lu: you know you're really weird, right?

Me: *I grinned* Weird is a matter of perception.

Today was my husband's message from the universe in the form of snow drifted roads and the dishwasher backing up and overflowing all over the kitchen floor. He didn't take it lying down either. Up yours Universe. We do what we want.


Monday, January 25, 2010

Did I say Lazy?? Whatev...

So I know that everyone is doing awards and blog bling on their 100th post, but you know me...I gotta roll different. So I'm doing some today on my 99th post. Because, well, because I can! But since I just did an award post earlier this month...I'll play the game but I'm not handing them out because I just did that. I will however point you in the direction of some talented people you should probably check out. But first a convo with Lulu from yesterday...

So I had planned to have a lazy weekend, but as everyone knows the best way to make the universe laugh is to make a plan. Lulu ended up sick on Saturday. She threw up all morning and slept all afternoon, with some mom cuddles in the middle. Luckily, she seemed fine the next day. And then, well, laundry was piled up, there was cooking to do and the boys wanted their taxes done. So I gave up and did housework. Lulu ended up taking my car to town yesterday as her's had a flat tire. She met some friends for lunch, saw a movie, hung out with another friend and then went to work to do inventory. Somewhere between leaving her friend's dorm and getting to work, she called me. I was carrying a load of laundry to the back of the house and the phone rang right as I passed by.

Me: Hello?

Lu: Why does it say "brake" on your dash?

Me: What?

Lu: Why is there a light that says "brake" on in the rpm thingy?

Me: Do you have the emergency brake on?

Lu: I don't know. Is it that pedal thing?

Me: Yes.

Lu: Oh. I may have hit it when I got in. How do I get it off? I tried pushing on it but it just keeps going down to the floor.

Me: Yes, you're just putting it on more.

Lu: Well how do I get it off??!

Me: There's a little thingy with a "P" on it on the left hand side by the steering wheel.

Lu: You Oh. Right here. No. it is! But I pushed it and nothing happened.

Me: Because you're supposed to pull it!

Lu: oh! There we go! Thanks

I hung up shaking my head and explained to hubby. He said "I really worry about that girl. I'm not sure there's any hope for her." Does anyone remember that cartoon Dexter's Laboratory?? This is why we called her and Sean~ Dexter and Dee Dee.

So on to business...

First, I got tagged by Suzicate at The Water Witches Daughter. The rules are I have to tell you seven things about myself that you don't know. That's a toughie. I feel like you all have a pretty firm grasp on who I am. But here goes...

1. I hate Physics. Seriously. It was the only class in high school I actually studied for. And I still couldn't grasp it. I had to study with the class brain (who happened to be a good friend of mine and a brilliant girl) just to pull a C on the final exam. I worked so hard that the teacher (who was not known for her friendliness) put a smiley face on my exam. Seriously, for a C!

2. I can touch my nose with my tongue. Which is kind of gross but totally amazes small children.

3. I talk to strangers (whoa, what a surprise, huh?!). I always have. My parents hated this trait when I was small, but eventually gave up trying to make me quit. It sometimes frustrates my children as well. (Do you even know that person, Mom?? Well, I do now!) This is why I loved working at the bookstore. They paid me to talk to strangers about books, which I do for free anyway. Awesome, huh?

4. I love the snow and I want to move to Alaska someday. Or maybe somewhere else with mountains and lots of snow during the winter.

5. I'm really good at math. I can do complex problems in my head before my hubby can work them out on the calculator. I'm not especially fond of math, it's just a random ability. My dad has it. Sean has it. I can still beat Sean in speed, but probably not for much longer.

6. I love the color purple and I'm kind of a goth at heart. It fits doesn't it? I mean with all the scary stuff I like? Black is a staple of my wardrobe and I often have blue or purple fingernails. I try not to be too outrageous, since I have to attend functions for hubby's work. But since my birthday, I've decided life is too short not to be who we are and I'm getting ready to do some drastic things to my appearance.

7. Apparently (according to others), I have an amazing smile. I'm told it makes everyone think that I'm smiling just for them. My hubby says that my smile says "hi! Want to be best friends?" and that when I'm in conversation with people I also have the ability to make them think that they are the most fascinating person I've ever met, even when it's someone I can't stand or find seriously boring. I think it's the actress in me because sometimes I'm making a grocery list in my head, making mental notes for the next day's blog, or plotting their slow and painful death. It's pretty awesome that this doesn't come across to them.

There you go. Seven things you may or may not want to know! That's it for the tag game. I also need to send a big thank you to Heather at Welch Happenings and Angelia at Living, Loving, Laughing for bestowing on me this award:

Thank you to both of you! And now for some well deserved recognition:

If you haven't already, you should definitely check out Margarete at Beyond Breathing. Her blog is a beautiful tribute to her daughter Jena, whose life was cut tragically short by Cystic Fibrosis. Her blog is always inspirational, although you may want to have a few tissues handy. And I recently noticed I am on her blogroll, which makes me incredibly proud.

Also check out Tina at The Clean White Page. She is a majorly talented writer. I cannot wait until the day I get to order her first book off Amazon! And I have no doubt that I will one day be doing so! In Sean's words~ "She may be even better than you Mom." And I wholeheartedly agree.

I read many, many other blogs on a daily basis and they all have something to recommend them. But I don't usually follow the super popular ones unless they immediately catch my interest.

I did fix the comment thing on What Spot Saw, so if you feel like it, please peruse and comment. I'm going to get up a book review blog soon and possibly one with my fiction on it. Do not, under any circumstances, feel obligated to read or comment on them out of friendship. Life is too short to waste reading something you have no interest in! That said, you know I'm a huge comment and attention whore...Lol.


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Boy Genius...

So I don't know if anyone else was as bored as me saw the article on MSN's home page this morning about Kid Geniuses? Anyway, I was intrigued, so I read that article and then clicked through to another .one. The second article was on so it was funny as well as informative. Then I saw something that caught my eye...

"Some consider William James Sidis the smartest man who ever lived, with an estimated IQ of 250 to 300. For the sake of comparison, you only have to have an IQ of 136 to be a mere run of the mill genius, and your average person is somewhere in the 85 to 115 range"

and I had to call in Sean, my very own Boy Genius.

Me: So I'm reading this article about child prodigies and guess what? You are just a run of the mill genius! You aren't even like a super genius or anything. And my IQ qualifies me to be a run of the mill genius too. What do you think of that??

Sean: Did you look at the pictures of those kids? I'm pretty sure I don't want to be that smart if I have to be that dorky. And that one? Yeah, he took a vow of celibacy. Are you kidding me? No way.

Me: He probably just wanted to not get distracted by the whole boy/girl thing.

Sean: Or he was a huge dork and couldn't get a girl to go out with him.

Me: This one was performing operations at 7! What were you doing at 7?

Sean: plotting total world domination.

Me: Oh yeah. You were a little scary back then. I'm just saying. If it hadn't been for those chubby little cheeks...

Sean: Obviously those kids are some serious overachievers with no idea how to have fun. I'm just pacing myself.

Me: well you better do something impressive soon. Slacker.

Sean: That's it! When I build the world's first spaceship built for long term space travel, you are soooo not invited.

Me: Whatever Mr. Average Genius Joe.

Seriously, can you imagine raising one of those little guys? Sean was hard enough. I wonder if the three year old kissed his mom before heading off for a hard day of college physics???


Saturday, January 23, 2010

The one where Lulu acts like a 5-yr old and Sean tries to get me arrested...

First apologies for not blogging the last two days. Thursday my folks stayed until about 2 before they went home and quite honestly I was too exhausted to do anything else the rest of the day. Like I didn't even cook dinner for my family. My hubby heated me up something in the microwave. I probably lost a corner from my "50's housewife" card or something! But it was a good visit with my parents and there will be more on that in the days to come.

And yesterday? Well I fully intended to blog when I got home from town but again with the tired. Okay. And we decided to watch a movie. But I commented on some blogs so that should totally count for something! We went to town yesterday for my dr. appt, Sean's appt, grocery shopping, to get movies and pick up med refills. It was not the best day ever. I have to go back to the doctor in 2 weeks so that's never good. Sean has a pretty good case of pneumonia. I had to go to 3 different grocery stores. And we never did get to see our friend K and her brand new baby M, which was the sole reason Lulu tagged along to town.

Now most of the time, I adore spending time with my children. With Lulu so recently moved back into the house, the dynamics are slightly off. And both children were slightly cranky yesterday. Sean due to the pneumonia and Lulu, well, because she can be?? So they were bickering with each other as well as me. By the time we hit Sean's appt, I had a headache. But as usual, his visit was a riot. My kids see a Nurse practitioner that they've been seeing since their old doctor retired about 8 years ago. She's a fantastic doctor. She and Sean have always had a very sarcastic relationship. So we leave Lu in the waiting room with her book and go back to the exam room. The nurse tells us that there is an NP in training and is it okay if she sees us first? No prob. She comes in and does her exam. Sean is on his best behavior, oddly enough. When she finishes, his regular NP comes in~

NP: Were you nice to her?

Sean: Of course!

NP: You can be as smartass to me as you like but you better be nice to new people.

New NP: (looks totally confused) He was nice to me.

NP: So what's going on? No. Wait. Let me have a fever and a cough? Geez. Can't you come up with something new? It's always the same with you. Pneumonia.

Me: He says he knew he was getting sick on Friday last week and still went to the polar bear camp out this weekend.

Sean: well I was already getting sick so what was the difference?

NP: What kind of stupid man logic is that?

Sean: if I stayed home every time I thought I might be getting sick, I'd never go anywhere!!

*** so then the NP stops and discusses some of Lulu's stuff with me for a minute. The outcome being that Lulu needs to get her flu shots and they can work those in today since she's in town with me. Then she turns back to Sean***

NP: Okay, it's all about you again. I'm your most humble servant.

Sean: You are anything but humble.

NP: Watch out're talking to the kettle. At least I don't need a garage size door to fit my inflated ego head into my house.

***they decide to do blood work to check for mycroplasm (the walking pneumonia germ) even though we all know it will be positive. Sean goes to the lab to get blood drawn and I go to the waiting room to tell Lu the nurse is going to call her to get her flu shots. She has a fit. Seriously, I mean like a five year old. Now, she hates shots but for real?! The H1N1 shot has saved lives this year. Could she be more ridiculous?***

Me: You're all the time wanting to be treated like an adult and right now you're behaving like a spoiled 5-yr old. That is what I'll treat you like.

Lu: Good! I don't care. I don't want flu shots.

Me: You don't want alot of things. That doesn't mean you don't need them. Are you going to make your children get shots?

Lu: Yes.

Me: Well then?

Lu: Not after they're eighteen. The choice should be theirs then.

Me: Why? Quite obviously, the good decision fairy does not come along and tap you on the head just because you turn eighteen.

Lu: *sticks her tongue out at me*

***the nurse comes and gets us. Lu gets numbing spray and shiny band aids. They even offer her a sucker. She whines about her arm hurting. I give up and take them both to lunch at Jimmy Johns. Where I try to ignore Lu as much as possible when you're sitting next to someone. Which leads to me reading the signs on the wall. Then I read one out loud***

Me: We'd love to see you NAKED but state health code requires the wearing of shirts and shoes.

Sean: Huh. Well since pants don't seem to be a requirement I'm not wearing any next time I come here.

Me: I think they just figure most people don't walk around pantless.

Sean: I'm not most people.

Me: Truer words were never spoken.

***Lu does get over her tantrum, although she continues to claim her arm is going to fall off. By the time we get through the second grocery store, I have a monster headache and I just want to go home and put on my pjs. And spend some time not with my children. At the checkout***

Me: You're supposed to push the cart a little around the side Sean.

Sean: well that's not how I do it.

Me: okay but I have to have room to get to the little thingy to write my check.

Lu: you should get a debit card. Checks take forever.

Me: (under my breath) I cannot wait to get home and get away from you two.

Cashier: (starts laughing hysterically)

Sean: What did you say?!

Me: Nothing dear. I love you.

Sean: (looks at cashier all serious like) She beats me.

Cashier: (more laughter)Really?

Me: No one believes you Sean. I think I'd have a better chance convincing people that you beat me.

Sean: show me the bruises.

Me: Oh honey. They're all on the inside.

Thankfully no one was really harmed in the making of this blog. I got about 30 minutes of peace eventually. Later, when I was telling hubby about my day I said~

Me: I'm exhausted. You're kids drove me crazy today.

Hubby: Yeah, I thought you were crazy taking both of them.

Me: Maybe next time you could say something, you know, before I do it.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A convo with Lulu...

So yesterday was one of "those days". You know, the ones where you bust your ass right up til bedtime? While I was out of town, the dirty laundry fairy apparently visited my house because I swear to Bob, every damn piece of clothing anyone owns in our house was in the dirty laundry pile. Seriously, I was almost afraid it was going to spring to life and start gobbling up cats or something. Add to this I have a sick child and my parents are coming tonight for a visit. Can we say mega-panic-mode? So here's how the day went:

I got up at 7 and got coffee. Logged on and started doing blog stuff, checking emails. Told husband to go wake up Bobby because he had a dentist appointment and if he didn't get up right now, he would miss it. Reminded Lulu of the time so that she would get off to work on time. Finally got the three of them out of the house. Made Sean something to eat and watched a DVR'd episode of Sanctuary with him. Got him settled in the family room and started on the laundry. Got a roast and potatoes in the crock pot and rolls in the pan to rise. Went back downstairs to clean kitty boxes and make boys beds, straighten their room and sweep. More laundry. Called my Dad to make sure they are still coming and warn them that Sean is sick. Discussed dinner plans for their visit. Made beds. Cleaned bathroom, my bedroom, Lu's bedroom, living room, and family room. Insert more laundry randomly. Also fixed Sean ham, egg, pepper jack cheese roll up for lunch. Loaded and ran dishwasher. Got a phone call from Manager of store who wanted to know if Lu had found a job. Relayed message to Lu so she could stop in after work. Finally took a shower. Proceeded to make mashed potatoes (I like mashed, hubby likes roasted), carrots with butter and brown sugar and bake the rolls to finish up supper. More laundry. Listened to Lu's day when she got home. Served and ate dinner. Finished wrapping parents Christmas gifts. Made and sewed pom-poms on two scarves I'd made for other people. Final laundry load folded and put away. Soooo ready for bed. Get ready, climb in, and Bobby gets home from work, and he and Lu pile on my bed for conversation. 11:45 pm...pass out. Add to that the fact that my body was in revolt from having no "down days" in the last week. Had to take an extra muscle relaxer after dinner.

After dinner Lu had invited DEBF (whose name will from now one be changed to EBIC~ ex boyfriend in counseling since he stopped drinking and is in outpatient counseling). She had decided that while she still cares about him deeply, it's not the romantic "I want to spend my life with you forever" thing it used to be. She'd put so much effort into getting over him that things had changed. And she needed to let him know that while she wanted to be friends and support his efforts, there wasn't a romantic chance for them. Obviously, this went over like a lead balloon. So he leaves and Lu goes to the bathroom and comes into her room and lays on the bed. I've finished wrapping and am delivering her laundry so I lay down beside her as she usually wants a cuddle and a chat after something like that. She snaps "I didn't invite you to lay down." Well, after the day I'd had, it royally pissed me off. In fact, I'm kind of still pissed off. Anyway, I left, got out my sewing and claimed the family room couch and TV. Eventually she wandered in and lay down on the floor. She tried to make conversation but I pretty much ignored her. Then I told her "I'm pretty pissed at you. That was extremely rude. A simple, I don't feel like talking about it would have done." She said she knew and she was sorry, she hadn't meant it to come out mean, she just wanted some time alone. Then the following convo~

Lu~ I think you should write a blog about being a mom.

Me~ isn't that what I do?

Lu~ No. I mean yes. But your blog is usually funny incidents. I think you should write one with Mom tips. Like how to be a better Mom. Because you're amazing at it. And some moms suck and maybe they'd read your tips and be better.

Me~ I'm not wearing my rubber boots, maybe you could stop stacking the shit so high in here.

Lu~ I'm not just saying it. Really. I mean look at all you did today! I'd never be that motivated. And you cooked Sean like three meals today. And lunch must have been awesome because he told me all about it.

Me~ Yep. I'm awesome and way unappreciated. But flattery is not making me less upset with you. You really really hurt my feelings. I never turn you away when you crawl onto my bed or want to talk. I've never said "I'm really busy, can we do this later?" the way my mom used to. Never. I am always there for you and drop everything if you or your brothers need something. I don't deserve to be treated like that. No one does.

Lu~ I know. And I really am sorry. I really didn't mean it the way it came out. I was just upset. I hate hurting him and seeing him cry. Can I have that cuddle now?

Me~ I suppose. (at which point she crawled up on the couch with me and we finished the movie I was watching. And then she offered to get the last load of laundry so I guess something good came out of it.)

Having semi-adult children is hard. I'm not sure I'm going to survive. Or maybe I just need to toughen up.

Anywho...on a different note entirely...I started the movie review blog. What Spot Saw.... Check it out if you like, I posted a link on the sidebar. Hope you like it. =] And on another good parents are bringing pizzas and I don't have to cook. And I get Christmas presents!! And I get to give them theirs! And I know the kids got books and movies that I can make them share. And I know I got chocolate! So things are looking up...


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Don't leave the dyslexic girl in charge of the lottery tickets...

So as you know we road tripped to Ohio, by way of Springfield, and home, by way of Indianapolis over the weekend. Well we had a fabulous time with Hildi and her family and my cousins. Then we went to Indy and had a fantastic time with J and her family. We left her house around 1:30 pm yesterday and got in the car for another 5 hour stretch. Well after all the fun, Lu and I were a bit exhausted and maybe a tad cranky. So the trip was mostly us singing along to cds in order to not snap at each other. I did find out what Lu's thinking as far as her "boy drama" is concerned and I will totally relate that in another post. But other than that, there wasn't alot of talking.

Well having consumed two cups of coffee at J's, and having a monster size Coke in the car my bladder felt like it might explode. And for some totally insane reason, over half the rest stops along the way are closed. So we pulled off in some dinky little town to use the restroom in a gas station. Thankfully, said restroom was clean. Here's what happened on the way out.

Lulu stops and says "hey, I'm going to get my lottery ticket I bought Thursday and cash it in."

Me: Okay. Grab mine out of the car too!

Lu: You have the keys.

Me: Um. No. I gave them to you. (I can see the purple ribbon thing dangling out of her purse)

Lu: No U didn't! Oh wait! Here they are.

Me: Duh. (she proceeds to the car, comes in, hands me my ticket which I hand to cashier. It's a two dollar winner so I ask for two more tickets. Cashier eyes me like I'm an idiot)

Cashier: This isn't a winner.

I take the ticket back, peer at it for a minute, and look at Lulu.

Me: You grabbed the wrong one! (I'd had two sitting on her console, one a winner, one not)

Lu: (cashes in her own ticket for 5 more). Um. Well. I'll give you one of mine. I threw the other ticket away when I cleaned the car. I thought I grabbed the right one. (She peers at the ticket) Oh! I must have just seen the 2's and thought it was a winner. Sorry. I'm so dyslexic with numbers!!

~At Hildi's house on Saturday, Hildi left to take her girls to grandma's since we were all going out that night. Lu started up the stairs to take a shower.

Me: You need to take your phone with you to shower?

Lu: yes, because if I leave it you'll read through it.

Me: What?! I would never! That's a total violation of your privacy!

Lu: Oh really, snoopy snooperson?

Me: Well, what do you have to hide? Oh...I know...all those naughty texts from Mr. Tim. I know all about your "sexting". (Please note that I was totally kidding. She was not sexting).

Lu: Sexting? Is that a real word?

Me: Oh Lu. You're so sad. Get in touch with your generation! Of course it's a word!

Lu: It's so weird that my mom uses more slang than me. I'm not sure if it makes you completely cool or really weird.

Me: It makes me awesome. Duh. I don't know why I have to keep reminding you of that.

~And as we were leaving Hildi's...

Lu is driving and we go through Mickey D's to get insanely large Cokes. In the drive thru I tell her I'm going to text J to let her know we're on our way.

Lu: I hope her back is better. I would hate for her to be in pain the whole time we were there.

Me: No doubt! That would totally suck fer shizzle.

Lu: (blinking at me) Did you just say "fer shizzle"?

Me: Yeah? And?

Lu: You just totally used it in a sentence and you weren't even joking. Sometimes you just boggle my mind.

Me: Yeah. That's how I roll, yo.

glad to be back,

PS- Sean totally has pneumonia. Stupid freaking camp out. Why Boy Scouts? Why??!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

How I saved Lulu from utter despair...

So as most of you know, my daughter Lulu has been living her life in true soap opera style. I definitely owe you all an update and will do so next week when I'm back at home. For now, we'll suffice it to say that the hippie is not taking her return home well, and DEBF is not happy that she did not immediately rush back into his arms and resume their pre break-up imagined bliss. She's feeling confused, bad for the guys and isn't quite sure where to go from here. Wednesday was a particularly rough day for her.

So Thursday, as we're driving, I looked over at her and asked~

Me: Are you still depressed? Or are you feeling better today?

Lu: *sighs* I guess I'm feeling better.

Me: It's because I'm awesome.

Lu: Oh?

Me: Yes. And currently you're trapped in the car with me. Therefore, my awesomeness is eclipsing all other feelings. You're welcome.

Lu: Mmmmk.

Or I guess it could be a new character who we'll call Never Dated But Have Been Flirting Since Seventh Grade. Or NDBHBFSSG for short. Or maybe just Tim. But I prefer to think it's my awesomeness.


Friday, January 15, 2010

Notes from the road...

Hey-ho everyone! We made it to Ohio safely (because I drove...Lu is scary). I will try to blog every day but yeah, you know how it goes, may not happen. I'm also trying to work through all the blogs I subscribe to and comment but it's slow going. So if I miss yours, do not get your feelings hurt, I'll get there eventually. And by eventually, I totally mean sometime this decade. Mmmmk?

Also, I'm using Lu's laptop and it has buttons in weird places so I'm really slow, constantly hitting something wrong and losing my cursor. And I'm in a hurry, because we are going to the best book store ever today (half price books...the name says it all!) and we have to leave and be back at specific times in order to get my niece off the bus. Which sounds suspiciously routine to me. Poor Hildi...bound by convention! She also lives in a subdivision and I don't sleep well. All the weird noises wake me up (you know like cars...don't hear that much at my house.)

Well, Hildi just hollered that there are cinnamon rolls and as much as I love you guys...breakfast calls! I do have some funny convos from the road and I promise to get them blogged later...

Road trip= blog fodder.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

And I'm off again...

So I'm going to Hildi's again. I know right?! I was just there last month for my birthday. Well yesterday was Hildi's birthday! And actually Lu & I used to go every year on this weekend. See the guys have a big boy scout camp out on Martin Luther King weekend. It's aptly named "Polar Bear". Because it's always so freakin cold. The troops build their own shelters and camp in them. Yes, it does seem freaktarded to me too, but who knows what goes through men's minds? All I know is that almost every year, following this camp out, Sean gets sick. Asthma + being out in the cold all weekend = pneumonia. Luckily, the last two years he hasn't gotten it. Knock on wood.

So we are heading out today to stop in Springfield overnight and see the folks. Then we'll drive to Ohio tomorrow. On Sunday we'll head to Indy to stay the night with J & her clan. Then home on Monday. I will try to blog while I'm gone since we'll have Lu's laptop. And since I'm trying to get Hildi back to blogging. (Btw...I posted on Gert & Hildi, you might slide over and check it out...) And next week I'm thinking of starting two additional blogs. Why?? Because I'm a glutton for punishment that's why. So coming attractions include "See Spot Read" where I do book reviews because I read pretty much constantly. And "What Spot Saw" where I will do movie reviews. Because if I'm not writing or reading, I'm watching a movie.

But today I will leave you with this little bit of humor...

We have a black lab named Maggie. She was given to us by Hubby's gpa about the time we moved out here. His family has always raised hunting labs and Maggie was the last in a line of really well trained duck dogs. His gpa was getting older and didn't get out with her much and since they lived in town, she was confined to a kennel in the backyard with not much activity. So Maggie came to live with us. Unfortunately I am severely allergic to dogs. Like I even break out when they lick me. And they cause very severe asthma attacks. But since Maggie was used to being outside, that's where she stayed. We also keep her in a kennel, because I don't want her to get eaten by coyotes. The kennel however is twice as large and Sean goes out with her everyday. He walks her all over camp and they are generally gone for an hour and a half (which explains why Sean has not an ounce of fat on him even though he eats like a 300 lb man). She's 12 now, but just as fit and active as before. No sign of the hip dysplasia which can affect Labs. She won't go out on the lake when it's frozen and she doesn't swim as far, but other than that, she's still her chipper self. Well, with the temps as cold as they've been lately (in the negatives), at the end of their walk, Sean will open the back door and request a jug of hot water to thaw out Maggie's water barrel. This gives me a chance to give Mags a treat and her to go nose to nose with Lu's cat Sparkplug. They have an odd friendship.

So the other day, I'm sitting here posting and I hear the back door open. Sean hollers in~

Sean: Can I get a jug of water?

Me: (wait for it...) Of course you can! (Sean always says that when I ask for something and makes me say "but will you get it for me?" or "May I have". Why? Um...because he's a jerk??)

Now picture me laughing maniacally and dancing around my kitchen.

Me: (in a sing song voice) I got you! I got you! How does it feel??!

Sean takes off his trapper hat (you know, the kind with fur lining and ear flaps) and throws it at me. It hits me in the butt.

Me: Ha! I'll wear that hat. (I put on hat and dance my way to water jug)

Sean: Fine. I don't need it. It's freaking warm out here today. I think I'm sweating.

Me: Really?! What's the temp?

Sean: Like 22 degrees.

Me: Um yeah. That's a veritable heat wave!

We both start laughing.

Isn't it sad that 22 degrees feels warm?? What a winter! I'm lovin it!


Tuesday, January 12, 2010


So once again in keeping with my bloggy theme, (I know, me with a theme three days in a row, it's like hell froze over or something) I wanted to share a couple of conversations I've had lately. The first is with my husband the other day after he came back from town and a meeting at the Scout office.

Hubs: So, when people ask me what you're doing now can I tell them about your blog?

Me: Um. Yeah. Why wouldn't you?

Hubs: Well, I don't know.

Me: Unless you're ashamed of it or something? It's not like you're telling people I sell crack cocaine to elementary school children or something. I mean, I can understand keeping something like that a secret.

Hubs: It's just that if I tell them, they might want to read it.

Me: So? That's kind of the point. I blog. Read me.

Hubs: Well, it's just that people will know who you are. You won't be anonymous.

Me: Well since any fifth grader with basic computer skills can figure out my real name I'm really not that concerned. Wait a minute! (the light finally dawns) This isn't about me! This is about you! You don't want your friends to know the shit you pull. Hahaha.

Hubs: Um. No. It's actually about not getting fired because you've trashed my boss.

Me: (slightly subdued) Well, I didn't say his name so he can't sue me for slander. And I didn't sign any contracts with morality clauses or 'don't talk about me on your blog' clauses. So? Ha! But do what you want honey. You can just tell them I'm a writer. Or you can just tell them I'm doing that 50's housewife thing. It's whatev.

Then I had this conversation with Lu~

Me: (very pleased) so one of my followers gave me an award today (It was KT) and she called me a "brave and admirable woman".

Lu: (wrinkling her nose in confusion) why would she say that?

Me: For real? Did you just ask why someone would compliment me??

Lu: No! I mean, I guess I did. But that's not how I meant it. I mean, I think you're brave and admirable, I just don't see how anyone would get that from reading you're blog.

Me: I don't know. I guess mostly people think homeschooling is brave. Although I never thought of it that way. And they think I'm admirable because I haven't killed any of you yet.

And Sean~

Me: I had so many page views yesterday! And I have two new followers.

Sean: Yeah, it's like why people read true crime or watch 48 hours or Snapped! People kind of get addicted to crazy.

Me: Gee Sean, thanks.

I sometimes wonder how I manage to keep my self confidence level so high in such a doubting atmosphere. And then I remember it's because of all the therapy. And vodka lemonade.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Drumroll please...

So to kind of link my posts coherently and prove that I'm not really just random chaos rolled up into a little ball of fake organization...I'm going to do the awards thing-ys I received over the holidays and am just now getting too. Please do not think in any way shape or form that I was not filled with appreciation at receiving them!! Because I am always always glad to receive a little something that screams "good job"!! So without further ado...

Thank you to Danica at Platitude Paradise for these two awards:

And thank you to KT over at Love is Definitely Enough for this one:

So now to pass the awards...

The fine print for keeping the Lemonade Stand Award torch lit:

- Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post. (done!)
- Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude. (done!)
- Link the nominees within your post. (done!)
- Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.(doing...)
- Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.(and done!)

And the award goes to (drumroll please):

1.) The Nerdy Nomad
2.) From the Inside Out
3.) Dreamfarm Girl
4.) The Clean White Page
5.) Booshy
6.) The Suburban Life
7.) Airing My Dirty Laundry One Sock at a Time
8.) Send Chocolate
9.) Beyond Breathing
10.) The Screenplay

All of the above blogs are extremely talented. Some of them make me laugh and some of them make me cry. And some of them amaze me with their gift for words. All of them keep me reading time after time. If you haven't read them, please go check them out for yourselves. I promise you won't be sorry.

The fine print for keeping the Happy torch lit:

A. List 10 things that make you happy. (See below)
B. Try to do at least one of them today. (Will do!)
C. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day. (Tag!! You're it!)
D. For those 10 bloggers who get the award, you then link back to my blog and create your own "makes you happy" list.

And the award goes to (another drum roll, if you please...)

1. Welch Happenings
2. Love is Definitely Enough
3. Gay Guy/ Straight Guy
4. Happy Meals and Happy Hour
5. Living, Loving, Laughing
6. The Water Witches Daughter
7. Carolyn...Online
8. A Little Blog About Nothing
9. Everybody's Working for the Weekend
10. Life, Love, and Luluness

All of the above blogs make me smile, if not outright belly laugh! Some of them could post a little more frequently though!! (hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink). They are all also worth your time and perusal!

Fine print for the From the Inside...Out award~

The first thing is that you may/may not put this award on your sidebar....and you may/may not link it back to me. I'm not looking for free publicity's all about the loooooove. (Done!)
The second thing is that you need to fill in the following blanks. (see below)

1) My site rocks because:
2) In my next life, I want to come back as a: Because:
3) For me, the best part of blogging is:

Finally, you may pass this award on to three (3) other deserving blogs as a way to continue passing on the loooove (and done!)

So the award goes to~ (yeah yeah, you're tired of the drumroll...)

1.) Danica at Platitude Paradise
2.) Sas at Sas' Magical Mystery Tour
3.) Brite at But I Digress...

Now the homework~

*Ten things that make me Happy*

1. Waking up alive every morning (beats the alternative, right?)
2. Spending time with my family (I already did number 1 today, but I'm going to do this one too)
3. Snow (and boy do we have alot of it right now!)
4. A really good cup of hot tea. (with milk and honey. nothing relaxes me faster)
5. A new book by a favorite author (any author but Stephen King notches up my happiness level just a bit)
6. Feeling like I've accomplished something during the day (even if it's just laundry or a scrumptious dinner)
7. Writing (really it's like my own special brand of crack, only not illegal and not bad for your health)
8. Anticipating something new (a new movie, a new book, a trip. I love having something to get excited about)
9. Laughing (I know that's what you do when you're happy, but even if I'm in a bad mood, and someone makes me laugh, it turns it around)
10. Nature (whether it's a beautiful view or a furry creature)


1. My site rocks because- I make people laugh (at least I think I do) and because I hold nothing back. You come here, you're going to get hit with honesty, good, bad and ugly.

2.In my next life I want to come back as a cat because I'm already fond of sleeping and eating and being cuddled and that's pretty much all they do.

3.For me the best part of blogging is a.) all of the wonderful people I've met b.)having an outlet for my thoughts and c.)having the opportunity to find new and fascinating blogs that I want to read.

So there you have it folks! I hope no one's feelings are hurt because I forgot them or didn't choose them. I tried not to duplicate people who already had the award. I also tried to spread them out. Regardless of whether you are an award recipient or not, if I read your blog it's because I think it's good. I don't read ones I don't like and I sure as heck don't comment them. So everyone needs to give themselves a pat on the back!!! Because, contrary to popular belief we are not just bloggers, we are all writers. Thank you to all of you. You are appreciated more than you know!!!


Sunday, January 10, 2010

I'm just a blogger...

So let's just be up front honest and truthful took me a long time and alot of therapy to learn not to base my self worth on the opinion of others. That they're approval didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. That I was the only one I was responsible too and that likeing myself was far more productive than wanting everyone else to like me. I was a serious "people pleaser". I stopped blaming my parents for my woefully inadequate sense of self esteem because well, they're just human and parents do the best they can at the time. So in conclusion, I do not blame my parents for the low self esteem I once had, my intense need to be liked, or anything else. But they also don't get the credit for the amazing self confidence, my comfort in my own skin, or my "I could care less what you think" attitude. I worked hard for those and they are all mine. And with any luck, I fostered those same qualities in my children. However, in Sean's case I may have "overdid".

So bearing all of that in mind...we begin our story...

The other day I received an email from Kathryn asking if I'd checked on my Kindle subscriptions lately. She said that I was ranked higher than she was (how this happened, neither of us can figure out because she has a gazillion followers) so I must have some subscriptions. Well, I really hadn't expected much to come out of the Kindle subscriptions so I hadn't checked in well, like, ever. In fact it had been so long I totally forgot my password. So once I went through the total hullabaloo of changing my password, ect., I logged on and wow! I did have Kindle subscriptions! People were ordering my blog!!! I did the happiest of happy dances (which is also probably the most goofy of happy dances) and happily replied back to Kathryn, that yes, I did indeed have subscriptions. And then I sat in happy, yet stunned silence. As there was no one else home at the time, I cradled my pride quietly in my arms and grinned like an absolute idiot. Someone thought enough of my writing to pay (okay, so it's not much, but any amount is more than free) to view my ramblings. To me, that says "paid writer" all over it. And you cannot (well, maybe you other aspiring writers can) imagine how encouraging this turn of events is, nor how inspiring. Thank you to all of my readers, but thank you thank you thank you to the nameless faceless masses who subscribe via Kindle. Okay, there's not really enough subscribers to be called "masses" but it's called poetic license. Work with me here people. And the best part...I don't even know anyone (besides Mark) who has a Kindle so it can't be like, you know, just my friends and family!

So here's happy little me, dancing around my kitchen as I prepare supper. The guys come in from hunting and I announce "Y'all ought to avoid the rush and start worshipping me now. You know, before I get famous". (This was also my FaceBook status of the day.) They of course just kind of chuckle because they are used to me being a drama queen. But then I explain, and they are appropriately awed and encouraging. I tell Lu later that night and she too is ecstatic for me. My friend J? Also Encouraging. So the next day I call my folks to check in with them. And I casually drop my big news into the conversation with my Dad. And I say "so now, I'm officially a paid writer". And he says "No you're not. You're just a paid Blogger." Um. The hell?! There's a difference?? He proceeds with "you don't think you're like Stephen King or anything, right?". Um. NO. DUH. He's Stephen freakin King. But how is writing my blog for readers and subscribers different from an essayist in a magazine? I write, I edit, I spend a frankly astonishing amount of time and thought on my blog. And he says "well, when you're published in a magazine, let me know." AAAAAGGGGGHHHH! I wanted to bang my head on my desk. It just brought rushing back all of the "it's never quite good enough" feelings of inadequacy. Like when I'd bring home a report card filled with A's and one lone B and I'd hear "what happened here?" instead of "Oh my're a genius". But then I breathed in deeply through my nose ten times and changed the subject. Then I called my sister. When I told her, she was almost as excited as I had been. I told her Dad's reaction. She said he was kidding. I said, no he was in fact quite serious. She said well maybe he didn't have a firm grasp on blogging. That he & mom had only ever read our joint blog and it wasn't the same. That was just like letters to each other while this blog was more "professional". (Frankly, I have no idea what she means but I'll roll with it.) When I hung up I went to fix supper (man, do I ever do anything else??) and hubby came in and asked why I seemed angry. So I told him. And he laughed. And then I laughed. Because you know what? It makes no difference. I know what I do and it's good enough for me. And nobody is stealing my sense of validation. Nobody. And someday, when I am published by my father's standards, I'll think "in your face buddy", but of course I won't say it, because I'm completely sure that it won't quite be good enough.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

I so should have been a southern mama...

So when I logged on today and my MSN homepage popped up it showed the usual little tidbits of news (some not so newsworthy) and there was a link to a "Midwestern Food Quiz" so I took it. And I only got 6 right. Now, I've lived in the Midwest for 22 years and I cook so I'm a little miffed at my results. I guess the problem stems from them lumping a variety of states together and calling it the "Midwest". From Nebraska to North Dakota, Iowa, Illinois and even Ohio. I hate to tell them but we may all be considered "Midwest" but there is a severe lack of cohesion between those states. I mean North Dakota?? That's not Midwest, that's northern! And Ohio? Way too eastern to be considered true northwest. But whatever. The link led me to another quiz..."Southern Food Quiz". Guess what? I scored an 8!

Now, I really am a big fan of the south. My dad's family all hails from the south...Kentucky and Tennessee to be exact. We lived in North Carolina for awhile and South Carolina is my favorite vacation destination. Although, we had a pretty good time in Tennessee too. As I said before, my southern accent comes out strong when I'm angry or whenever I'm south of the Mason Dixon line. It's unintentional, it just happens. And there is always a pitcher of sweet tea in my fridge. Which as everyone knows, is the house wine of the south. (Yeah, that's totally one of the answers to the quiz...consider it a freebie!)

I once dated a boy whose family was from the south. In fact his mama was grooming him to be a Senator from Georgia. The family had political connections and ambitions. She loved me. I wasn't from the south, but I still fit in and she thought I'd make the perfect politician's wife. And the boy? Well, lets just say he'd make a perfect politician. Handsome, charming, sweet talking and not a faithful bone in his body. As it turns out he didn't run for office (yet, I guess there's still time) but he did become a big wig with UPS. (I know because I googled him. Shut up! That's totally not cyberstalking. And besides it was only after some um, well, interesting emails he'd sent me...which I totally kept in case he becomes a politician...) The point is...I can totally pass for southern.

One time, summer before last I believe, Lu and I were laying on the trampoline (it's our favorite tanning spot) and I was reading a book by Jane Green (who is by the by a fantastic author and you should probably read her books). In the book, the husband's mother is southern and the things she says are words they could have taken straight from my mouth. Or my grandmothers, or any southern mother I suppose. I read aloud to Lu in order to make my point. The following conversation ensued:

Me: I totally should have been a southern mother. Should have married S after all. I'd be living in a big old plantation house raising future pageant queens and politicians. Instead of stuck in the middle of nowhere USA.

Lu: (giggling)

Me: Instead I'm here raising a future marine and the future queen of Michael's double wide. Y'all let me know when you need those polyester curtains made, k?

Lu: I'm never going to live in a trailer!!! You know this. Although that is my ringtone on his phone. (Sammy Kershaw's 'Queen of my Double wide Trailer'.)

Me: Whatever...I mean, I totally believe you.

Lu: Besides, you'd hate that life. They'd expect you to behave all the time and you'd have to join junior league or something. Plus your hair frizzes in the humidity. It'd be so much worse down there.

Me: They make hair products for that you know. Besides I'd own that junior league baby!

Lu: Then there's the fact that you hate whiskey. That might be a sin in the south.

Me: Hmm. There is that. I can drink whiskey though if there's something to take the taste out of my mouth. (I got seriously sick drinking whiskey once, now I just can't stomach it. Even the smell makes me want to vomit.)

Lu: And last but not least, you detest Tennessee Williams and Faulkner. I know that's got to be like an extra extra big sin down there. They'd run you out of town!

Me: Well, they're just so depressing! All broody and dark with no redeeming qualities. I'm not changing my mind about them. (I once refused the lead in a play because it was a Tennessee Williams play. I was reassigned to a George Bernard Shaw. I won an award for that one. So there drama professor!)

Lu: See, you might want to stay where you are.

Me: (exiting the trampoline) Whatever.

Lu: where you going?

Me: I'm off to make some chicken salad and sweet tea for lunch before your brother gets back and asks me where his lunch is.

What part of the World do you feel you should live in??


Friday, January 8, 2010

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

but the fire is so delightful. Since we've no place to go...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Mmmkkk. I really do like that song and usually I'm totally up for it. But we seem to be having a bit of snow overload currently. And still, I'd be totally cool with that if I didn't have anywhere to go. But for some reason this week I've had more places to go then I do in a month most of the time. Still, I'm not complaining. I just put on my long johns, my jeans, and my hoodie. Add snow boots and gloves and that's my winter go to town uniform. I don't wear a coat because I think they're cumbersome and I get hot. You can do the same thing with lots of layers. (which can then be removed when warm). My mother informed me last time I saw her that I looked like a farm girl. I replied that I didn't much care because I was trying for warmth and comfort not style. Also, my snow boots not only keep my toes warm, they keep me from busting my tooshie on the ice. So there.

As I said yesterday, a trip to town was on the agenda. Hubby had an appointment which ended with a mole removal from his chest and Lu had a hematology appointment. Her platelets are at the very lowest "normal" number 150,000. Which means they've been steadily dropping 10-20 thousand per week. Since you can still have surgery when they are as low as 70,000 we have a couple more weeks before she'll need treatment again. Hopefully. As usual we have to watch for signs of a more significant crash. Extra bruising, nosebleeds, petechiae. Then we ran some errands. Let me just say...getting out of our drive and off the gravel required a truck. No way either of our cars would have made it. The highway had barely one lane cleared and the roads in town were still horrible. Add people who can't drive properly and you get awful road conditions. We were in Hubby's work truck which is a good size truck but not 4wheel drive. Lu had come to town in DEBF's 4wheel drive to buy the parts for him to fix her car and then he dropped her off at the clinic where we met her.

Well he called to let us know that the snow had drifted pretty bad on the road to the house and he had some trouble even with having 4wheel drive. Hubby had plowed that road earlier but well, drifting snow has a mind of it's own. So we get to the road and get three feet down it. Then we're stuck. Really stuck. So Lu calls DEBF and no answer. So she calls the house and gets Sean. He bundles up and walks to Hubby's shop where DEBF is fixing Lu's car and they come to the rescue in the 4wheel drive. Hubby, DEBF & Sean hook chains between the two trucks then hop back in. At first we go nowhere. There's a lot of smoke and burnt rubber smell and tire spinning but we don't budge. So DEBF backs his truck up close to ours (I close my eyes in case he hits us). Then shoots forward, jerking us forward too. I give a little scream and Lu turns to me laughing.

Lu: Haven't you ever been pulled out before?

Me: No. I try to make a habit of not getting stuck. (DUH?!)

Lu: Well after two years of dating DEBF I've had lots of experience. Sometimes we're the pullers and sometimes we're the pullees. I've been pulled out of mud, snow, floodwaters, and ditches.

Me: My. What an exciting life you lead.

Lu: Being pulled out not so fun. But we always had fun getting stuck.

By this time we're being pulled down the road. Then the chain snaps! Luckily we're unstuck and able to go on our own. Although I'm still worried we're going to hit the back end of DEBF's truck. Then Hubby pulls into our drive and slides sideways, nearly taking out my car before righting himself. I flinch, tense and shut my eyes. Lu turns to me again.

Lu: Geez mom, have a little faith in your man. Their trucks are like their penises. They know how to use them.

That just may be the best analogy ever. If only it hadn't been my daughter who said it...


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mmmm....Gerard Butler...

So I don't have alot of time today, but I promise a longer post tomorrow. I have to go into town in the midst of this blizzard because both Lu and Hubby have dr. appts. And since I can only get Hubby to the doctor like once a year, no way am I canceling! So instead of my planned post which has been unceremoniously bumped to tomorrow's schedule, I give you the following conversation~

Picture this...I'm sitting here on the computer diligently reading and commenting on blogs. Sean is drinking coffee and watching the Today show on the TV in here. Lu is in my bathroom, curling her hair. Now, my bedroom is directly across the hall from this room and the bathroom is located just off the bedroom. Therefore, it is possible to have all three of us in the conversation (if we shout. which we often do).

Sean: Wow. Gerard Butler got fat.

Me: What??! No way.

Sean: Look! Quick...look at the TV.

Me: (twisting around in my chair like a pretzel to view the screen. A picture of Gerard from 300 and a picture of "fat" Gerard. Gone were the rock-like washboard abs and add some love handles) Oh he doesn't look that bad! Besides I still love him.

Lu: (shouting from the bathroom) what about Gerard?!

Me: they think he got fat.

Sean: He did get fat.

Lu: So? He probably just took a break from working out. He'll lose it.

Me: Yeah, it was the holidays, everyone gains some weight. They should cut him some slack.

Lu: Exactly. Poor Gerard.

Me: Besides, he's still got that awesome accent and those killer eyes.

Lu: Mhm.

Me: I could work that extra weight off him no problem!


Me: I just totally killed this conversation, didn't I? My bad.

Lu: Um yeah. Because I was totally picturing me & him and then you...and um...yeah. Eew.

Sean: I was picturing me & him and um...oh shit...did I say that out loud?

*convulsive giggling on all parts*

Sean: (shouting) what's that Dad? You need me to hammer something? Monster trucks and football!!*

Sean: Oh...look Jessica Simpson got fat too.

Me: (once again with the pretzel antics) Yep. She's fat.

Lu: Oh yeah. She is.

Ever wonder why we willingly cut men slack and not women?? Guess we're mean girls.

*Now, for the record, Sean is not into guys like that. Well, not as far as I know, and I wouldn't have a problem with it. He just says things like that for the laugh. And the laugh is NOT at the expense of gay people. The laugh is at the expense of men, who after saying something that might be deemed homosexual, suddenly launch into macho displays of how manly they actually are. I just wanted to set the record straight. No pun intended. My gosh...I just keep making it worse...I'm going to quit now...and just hope everyone gets a laugh out of it...


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

'Tis the season...for automotive woes?

So Lu is having car problems. I guess when she went to go to work on Friday her car was making some kind of awful noise coming from the back. She frantically called DEBF (drunken ex-boyfriend) because he's a mechanic. And because he had just fixed her tire the Monday before. Now, I can picture Lu, dressed nicely (okay like a million bucks because she's on her way to work) crouched beside the rear of her car holding her cell phone to it going "can you hear that??!". It's just the kind of thing Lu would do. He told her it sounded like a wheel bearing was out. Then he told me. So I talked to hubby and we told her to take it in Saturday morning and get it looked at. Get an estimate, do NOT have them fix it. If it's a serious problem, we'll come get the car and give her mine so we can get hers back here where one of her assorted brothers or DEBF can fix it less expensively. Well, Saturday morning she sleeps through her alarm and gets up late. By the time she's off work, no place can get it in til Monday. Monday she takes it in and finds out it's the rear brakes. Their shot. The mechanic tells her the front one's need replaced too and it will run $363 dollars.

I talk to DEBF and he says he checked the front brakes when he did the tire and they are fine. Back brakes are secondary so as long as she drives carefully and doesn't slam on her brakes it's fine to drive home. Her father agrees so she says she'll be home on Thursday. DEBF puts the parts on hold for her. The grand total for him to fix her car? $80 dollars. Quite the difference, no?

Well Lu also says to make a Dr. appt for Thursday because she's tired, cranky, cold, and covered in bruises. Which means her platelets are crashing and her hemoglobin is probably down too. So the plan is for her to come home Thursday, leave her car with DEBF and we'll take mine to town.

Last night Hubby had a meeting in one town, Sean had one in another. So after dinner, Hubby heads out in his truck and Sean borrows my car. We joke with him about putting it in a ditch because he really doesn't have much experience driving on snow and ice and the gravel road is still covered in it. I settle down on the couch with a cup of tea and the knowledge that Hildi will be calling soon. Ten minutes later, sure enough the phone rings. I recognize Sean's cell number. Uh oh. He hasn't put the car in a ditch, but the car died. The headlights began to dim, the inside lights went out and then the car died. He's on the side of the gravel road, around a curve and just before a rather large hill. Did I mention it's probably -5?

Me: Oh gosh. I think the alternator went out! I knew it was going bad but it's been doing that for awhile.

Sean: You knew there was something wrong with the car and you let me drive it??!

Me: Um. Yeah. I mean I still drive it. It's just one of those drive it till it finally goes, then replace it. No big deal.

Sean: NO BIG DEAL??! The hell! You're not the one stuck on the side of the road in the dark and the frigid temps.

Me: Yeah. Aren't you glad I told you to take your gloves?

Sean: Do you know how cold it is out here?!

Me: Um. Yeah. Really cold. Oh wait! There's a blankie in the back seat just for this sort of emergency!! OMG. I'm so prepared! Aren't you proud?

Sean: No. I'm cold. And I'm kind of irritated that you let me take your car knowing it was broken.

Me: It wasn't broken yet. Geez, you broke the car. Way to go.

So then I hung up and called hubby. He said he'd turn around and come back but it would take him about 15 mins to get there. So I called Sean back to keep him company.

Me: Dad's on his way. He was all the way past Ursa though so it'll be a bit.

Sean: great. It's not getting any warmer you know.

Me: If you get too cold, get out of the car and do some jumping jacks. Or you could just butt dance in the seat (me demonstrating this even though he can't see me).

Sean: I'm not getting out of the car.

Me: Are you covered up?

Sean: I'm too manly to cover up.

Me: Um. Okay, well if you freeze it's not on my head. I mean, you had a blankie. Maybe I should get some of those hand warmer thingies hunters use. I could put them in the console for next time!

Sean: Or maybe, here's a thought, fix your damn car. Or at least warn people before they drive it that it may break down. I would've stayed home. Where I'd be warm right now.

Me: Man, you're kind of a whiner. You should totally be thinking of this as an adventure.

Sean: An adventure?? For Real? I may get mugged by a deer out here, or kidnapped and sold into the Siberian sex trade.

Me: (giggling hysterically) the Siberian sex trade? Really? Well at least you'll be used to being cold.

Sean: or kidnapped by aliens. Then what?

Me: well you could sell your story and make lots of money.

Sean: The hell?! Nobody would believe me so they'd lock me up somewhere or if they did believe me the government would take me to study me.

Me: true. Don't get out of the car. Lock the doors.

Sean: also my phone's down to one bar so it's probably going to die and you won't even know what's happened to me. Wait, I see headlights.

Me: Oh! Turn yours on so they don't hit you!

Sean: I already did, but they're kind of waiting on the side of the road like they're letting me pass only I'm not going anywhere.

Me: they'll figure it out after a minute.

Sean: wait, they're stopping. I'll let you go so I can talk to them.

Me: okay, but call back so I know you didn't get kidnapped by aliens or child molesters or Siberian slavers or deer.

Sean: K. Bye.

About 15 minutes later when I was just about to call him back, he came walking in the door. It was an old man who stopped to help and right behind him came hubby. So they'd come home to get the jumper cables and warmer clothes. They jumped it and got it back to the house. Hubby and DEBF looked at it today. I didn't really understand what they said, but it's running again. I really do need a new alternator though. And Sean refuses to drive it until I get one. Where's his sense of adventure???


Monday, January 4, 2010

It's a Love/Hate relationship.

No, I'm not talking about Lu's life. That saga ended yesterday...oh I'll keep you updated when things change but you've got the major drift now. And I'm not talking about any of my relationships with people. I'm talking about my Wii Fit. You know, the best Christmas Present ever?? The one where Hubby actually listened to me and got something I wanted and it was a total surprise?? Well, be careful what you wish for...

I love the Wii Fit. Mostly. I love the variety of exercise and workouts I can do. I love that I get to do it in my living room whenever I feel like it. I love that it keeps track of my weight, BMI, how many calories I burn, how much time I put in, what my goals are, and my social security number. Okay. It doesn't really keep my social security number. I don't think. But I do love those things about it. But at the same time, I kind of don't love it. Why?

Here's what happened the other day when I started up my Wii Fit it said "You haven't been here in four days." Um yeah, well I was busy and stuff. "Exercising every day is important for weight loss." Um the hell? Did you just call me fat? "Step on. Ohhhh..." I'm gonna 'ohhhh' you!

So I do my workout (or attempt too, some of that stuff is really hard) and the whole time my personal trainer guy is offering helpful hints like "try to stay balanced" um, duh? or "your leg seems to be shaky today, you should work on strengthening it." really genius? because that's a news flash.

Then at the end, when I'm sweating my butt off and it's time to step on the scale, my Wii Fit informs me that I've gained a pound back. Well crap. Then it decides to hold me personally accountable. I'm asked to pick which reason I think made me gain back a pound. Guess what? PMS bloat is not an option. Because that's totally what it is. I know this. But apparently the small Japanese child who lives inside my Wii doesn't think that is an option. Maybe the makers should have warned it that telling a PMSing woman that she's fat could be hazardous to your well being. She may just decide to put her foot through her TV screen. Or jump on your damn balance board. Or maybe she'll remember that your an expensive piece of technology that she actually asked for. Lucky you. She decided to console herself with chocolate instead.

Hopefully I haven't gained another pound. How do you tell the machine that you gained weight because you were saving it's life???!


Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's a Love Story? Part four...

Was I perturbed at Lu yesterday? Well today I am downright angry. It's one of those times when you shake your head and go "where did I go wrong"? She's having car trouble, she's moving home, and I don't even know where she left her brain. Don't get me wrong...I know she's going through a rough patch and I'm totally sympathetic. To that end, her Dad and I have been trying to help her. We told her to get the car looked at and if it's okay to drive long distance we will come up and trade her cars, to get hers down here where either DEBF or her brothers can fix it and save her a gazillion dollars. Somehow she manages to have trouble getting her part done. Then I keep asking her what day she's off so she can come down and bring some stuff. We don't have a truck at our disposal unless we want to pay a fortune to use Hubby's work truck and since she took stuff up a little at a time it will take a couple of trips to get it all. But she keeps saying she'll look at her schedule and then text me. Only she doesn't. Finally last night I blew up and told her that contrary to her belief the world does not actually revolve around her. The rest of us do not sit and wait for her to be able to come down, we all have lives and so a little advanced notice of her arrival would come in handy for scheduling purposes. Then I hung up. I know, not well done of me...but this snafu (not my first choice word but clusterfuck is so rude) has been going on for days!! And I've got DEBF saying if she doesn't get the car here soon, he'll be in rehab and unable to fix it. So I'm a smidge on the frustrated side.

But I digress...back to the story....

When we left off yesterday our heroine had kicked Jackass to the curb (hopefully for good). She'd decided to leave the Hippie and return to the bosom of her family. She had begun talking to DEBF, at least about her car. So our heroine has returned to Iowa, with the secret knowledge that she will be leaving the Hippie. She wants to talk to her boss first to see how much notice is required to leave her job so that she's not stuck in the same apartment for forever with a saddened Hippie. Her boss says that next week can be her last week. Although she also offers Lu a place to live should she decide to stay in Iowa because she's awesome at her job and they hate to see her go! But boss lady will definitely see if Lu can transfer to the store closest to home. Lu also calls her old job to see if the transfer should fall through to they have a place for her and they do! So Lu will not be jobless.

Now our Lu has been exhausted from all the work, shopping, driving that Christmas entails. She's been cranky and mean. (Her mother also suspects that she needs a platelet check as this is how she behaves when platelets are crashing). She decides to tell Hippie what's what. So on New Year's Eve she tells him that she's moving back home. She doesn't break up with him, she just explains that she's tired of all the driving and she's moving home. That they can try long distance and see each other on weekends ect. He gets majorly pissed off and says that he knows how this works. Pretty soon they'll be down to the occasional phone call and then it's over. (Well, that was the plan.) But our heroine feels bad, she's trying to let him down gently and also not make the living situation unbearable for the next week or so. I know that also this night, DEBF sends her some heartfelt texts (and let me tell you, I know this boy is a sweet talker) about new years and new starts. Sorry I don't have the original texts. Lu would ordinarily forward them to me to see what I thought, but as we're not speaking...well no blog fodder. So Lu is finishing her work week, supposedly getting her car looked at and packing. Hippie is hurt, mad, pissy. DEBF is cautiously optimistic that he can change and get yet another chance with our heroine. And that's the story so far. Do bear in mind that the heroine has other guys who text her on a regular basis as well. One she never even dated who says he'll wait for her forever.

I'll keep you updated as the gossip rolls in...will DEBF really turn things around (he's currently on the list for the residential rehab program in town. They'll call him when they have an open bed and he has an hour and a half to show up. So far he's been sober since he saw Lu)? Will the Hippie put some effort into getting her back? Will a tall dark stranger come into the picture? What's next for our heroine??