Sunday, October 14, 2012

The one where I share a funny story...

I'm not going to apologize for my absence (although, I am sorry), I'm just going to relate a funny story. Please note that names have been changed to protect the guilty. Because, well, really, the innocent never do anything they need protecting from, do they? But I didn't change Sean's name, because let's face it, you'd know it was him anyway.

Sean has a friend, we'll call him Jethro. And Jethro has just begun seeing a new girl (no, I don't know her name). Well, once upon a time (a few weeks ago) in a land far far away (or 30 minutes anyway) new girlfriend's evil (or slightly misguided) ex-boyfriend comes to her house and begins making an ass of himself (as young boys often do). New girlfriend calls Jethro in tears. Unfortunately, Jethro is stuck in a land farther away, running errands with his father. What to do? Jethro calls in other heroes to save new girlfriend. Namely, Sean. Sean agrees that this is a problem and since another friend, we'll call him Roscoe (yes, I do know it's a silly name. pay attention, would you?), is already on his way to Sean's house, he phones him up and tells him they have a fair maiden to save so he should drive "double time." (Honestly, I don't know what driving "double time" means and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.) But apparently, Roscoe is some kind of stunt driver akin to those in the Fast & Furious movies and he gets to our house much more quickly then normal (but, thankfully, all in one piece).

Now, we have two back up heroes who speed to the damsel in distress' house. They walk around the house and notice  two groups of people. One group includes our fair lady, her friends, and possibly siblings (these details are a little thin) and the other group includes young men set on douchebaggery, the evil ex and his minions. Our heroes assess the situation and then:

Sean: Are you Jethro's fair maiden?

Fair Maiden: Yes (this may or may not have been said with tearful hopefulness)

Sean: Okay. Then which one of you jerkwads (this may not be the exact wording) is starting trouble?

*No reply*

Sean: We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way.

*Evil ex is pushed forward by now uncomfortable henchmen*

Roscoe: We need to have a talk with you.

*Sean and Roscoe approach Evil ex*

Roscoe: Now this can go down one of two ways. The first way is you apologize and leave quietly. The second is much more violent and doesn't end well for you, except that you still apologize and leave.

*Evil ex blusters for a minute*
*Sean pulls Roscoe aside*

Sean: *speaking in very loud whisper intentionally trying to be overheard* I think we're going to have to bash some skulls.

Roscoe: I was hoping you'd say that...

Evil ex: Yeah, okay, whatever, we're leaving. Mumbled apology. *The villain and his minions retreat*

Fair Maiden's brother: Wow. Jethro really did send his friends.

*Our heroes begin walking back around the house to their vehicle*

Someone in crowd: Wait, good sirs, what are your names?

Sean: *thrown casually over his shoulder* Starsky and Hutch.

And that, dear friends, was your story for today. I'll try to be more frequent with my postings.