Wow. There's some serious cleaning up to do in here. Cobwebs, dust, a stray spider or two. And nothing but a lonely echo when I speak. I know, I know, my fault. And I've made my excuses before so I won't rehash old ones. But I miss this blog. I miss the fun and the friendship from the readers. I miss chronicling the daily BS that my family puts out. And all of my oldest readers know- that's a lot of BS. So I'll try to be more regular, catch you up, and go from there.
To get us started, here's an excerpt from a conversation Sean and I had at midnight the other night. (Don't ask why we were talking at midnight- it's because even as adults, my children feel the need to tell me about their night when they come home. Never mind that it's midnight and I'm exhausted and the only reason I'm still up is because I can't sleep when they're not home.)
Sean: You need a catch phrase. Like mine- "You cannot defeat me!" (said in a loud and carnival barker like voice, with one hand raised in the air and one leg propped up on my bed. Think the "Captain Morgan" pose).
Sean: Everyone has a catch phrase. Even CW.
Me: CW has a catch phrase? What is it?
Sean: CW, slayer of Elk.
Me: Why Elk? We don't even have elk around here.
Sean: It's from some online game he plays. I guess he had a sword and ran around killing the elk in the game.
Me: Your friends are strange.
Me: How about Stacey Turner, Head of Awesomeness?
Sean: That's a title not a catch phrase.
Me: How about Stacey Turner, Slayer of Gnomes. I hate freakin garden gnomes. They creep me out. Who knows what they're plotting while they are out in your yard at night. *involuntary shiver*
Sean: I like it. You should buy some garden gnomes and take a picture of you and the shattered pieces. You can borrow my sword.
Me: No. It would be better to kill them with random objects. Like a cheese grater.
Sean: You could pose in every room in the house.
Me: Like in the kitchen I could be shoving one upside down in the blender. Or menacing one with one of those old egg beaters that you crank.
Sean: And strangling one with the shower hose in the bathroom.
Me: That would probably make a great blog: Defeating the Gnomes. If you posted a picture a day, people would tune in just to see them.
Sean: So we need to put Garden Gnomes on the shopping list.
Me: But they have to stay locked in the garage until we slay them. I'm not taking any chances.
Sean: This is great. It's good to see you being creative again. Sometimes now, you're just a little too grown up for your own good. All business, no play.
Me: Um, maybe that's because I'm running my own company. It's kind of a lot of work.
Sean: "In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop." Do you know who said that?
Me: Yes, Spot said that. God, I love Spot.
Sean: You said that. You are Spot.
Me: I know, right? I think I'm going to get a t-shirt that says "I ♥ Spot" and wear it to KillerCon in Vegas. It will be like wearing a shirt that says "I ♥ Me," only cooler. When people ask me, "what's Spot?" I'll say, "exactly."
Sean: Maybe you need to get some sleep.
Me: So get out of my room.
And that's how we came up with my new catch phrase. "I am Spot, slayer of Gnomes!"
It's good to be back. Tune in next time for more ridiculousness and how Lu's going to save the economy.