Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The one where I get tagged...

So I don't know if every one's blogger is acting all wonky or if its just mine. It will let me read blogs but every time I go to comment it takes me to blogger's sign in page and even after I sign in it continues to say "anonymous" on my comment and won't post it anyway. So I give up. I have tons of comments for every one's blog but blogger is eating them. I don't know if it will even let anyone comment on this blog but I'm going to write it anyway. So take that Blogger! In your face!

I. Got. Tagged.  I guess that makes me "It". Thank you to Lisa Hollar over at Jezri's Nightmares for tagging me. Being tagged makes me feel loved. I don't care if you think that's silly, it does. If you haven't checked out Lisa's blog, you definitely should. You especially should if you like short horror stories and poems that she's nice enough to post for free. And if you like those, you can purchase her short stories and poetry collections on Smashwords or Amazon. Or you can win her Sunday contest, where you have to write a story in 55 words or less, like I did, and she'll give you one of her ebooks for free and let you judge next week's contest. I'm warning you, its hard and there's some good competition.

So I have to answer the questions and then tag some other peeps. Here are the questions:

If you could go back in time and relive one moment, what would it be?
This one is really really hard. One moment would be right after our wedding ceremony, when Mike & I were standing alone in the vestibule of the church and my sister (maid of honor) & my cousin (best man) were walking back down the aisle. The photographer (Mike's aunt) snapped a photo of us and I have never seen two people look more happy. Ever.

But I often wish I could go back and relive certain days. The birth of each of my children. Although those were physically painful, the moment you look at each new baby is priceless. Or even just a regular day when my kids were little. I'd just like to look at their sweet pudgy faces and snuggle their toddler selves again.
If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
 I often think I'd like to go back and change things I've said or actions I'm not very proud of having taken. But I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and every single thing that I've done or had happen to me has made me who I am. And I wouldn't change any of that. I like who I am and I love the people who are my family. I'm going to quote the group Hinder here (Luke, stop groaning!)

"If I could go back in time,
wouldn't change a damn thing in my life.
I love the dumb things we do when we're young.
But the best is yet to come."
What movie/TV character do you most resemble in personality?
 This one's a hard one. I had a friend who used to say I was Grace from Will & Grace. I like to think I'm slightly more mature now. So I don't really know. But I'd like to grow up to be the totally cool mother on Parenthood. Bonnie Bedelia's character. She's artsy and creative, but wise.
If you could push one person off a cliff and get away with it, who would it be?
 I wouldn't for two reasons. The first- if I dislike someone enough to want to push them off a cliff, then that's just to quick of a way to go. I want them to suffer some. The second reason is because I believe in Karma. And it's a whopping number of bad Karma points to kill someone. I don't need that kind of negative luck!
Name one habit you want to change in yourself.
 My inability to say "no". If someone asks me to help them, I invariably say "yes" regardless of whether I really wanted to or not. As a result I end up with too many things on my plate at one time. 
Describe yourself in one word.
Talkative. Its what my school report cards always said. And not in a good way.
Describe the person who named you in this meme in one word.
Why do you blog? (In one sentence):
To keep myself sane. All these thoughts have to go somewhere, right?
And the people I'm blog tagging are:
Elly at Bugginword (because pregnant women love to play games)
Peggy at Square Peg in a Round Hole (because she's one of my favorite people)
Yvonne Bishop at The Angelic (one of my new bosses)
Heather Welch at Welch Happenings (she needs a break from crocheting)
Claudia Lefeve at Claudia Lefeve's Blog (because I want to know!)

Now you all are it! Nanny nanny boo boo!

Monday, May 23, 2011

The one where I snap...

Meltdowns are never pretty. Last night was no exception. It was 10 pm. The Borgias had just ended (season finale, not to be seen again until 2012, why Showtime? Why??) and I got up from the couch,(Sunday night is family TV viewing for us- HBO's Game of Thrones and Showtime's The Borgias, not for every family, definitely not PG, but works for us) I gathered my teacup, phone & plate and headed to the kitchen. This is what I found there: teabags left in the sink to stain the sink, a cup ring on the counter, kool-aid spill on the floor and an overflowing garbage can. Have I mentioned that I live with quasi-adults and not toddlers? It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I exploded. I pointed out that people should clean up their own messes and not leave them for me. That we are going to have bugs very quickly if they continue to not clean up their messes. And then I pointed out that it was time to put on the big kid pull-ups and start pulling their weight. And then I pulled out the big guns.

Me: *to Lu* You know what I was doing when I was 7 months pregnant with your brother? Working 40 hours a week and taking care of my own apartment. I worked days and your dad worked nights so I fixed all my own meals and extra so he'd have a lunch to take the next night. I cleaned the whole thing by myself and we went to the laundromat and grocery store on weekends when we were off.

Lu: I do help out! I did the dishes just the other day! And I do all the laundry.

Me: Laundry is your chore. You do not pay rent or groceries so you still have chores. And doing the dishes once a week is better than anyone else in this house, but its not exactly helping out. And when you aren't at work, you are asleep. I know you're tired, been there done that. Wait until your going through this with baby number 1 and 2 to take care of also. But a little more help is required around here.

Me: *to Sean* And you! You aren't even working currently and you don't do anything until I nag you! Your Dad was only a few months older than you when he was going to school half a day and holding down a full time job to get ready for his first child.

Sean: I thought about doing the dishes the other day, does that count?

Me: No. I appreciate the thought but you need to actually do them.

Sean: And having a baby on the way is probably a really good catalyst for responsibility. So maybe I should knock someone up. Wait?! Will they still let me go to seminary school and become an exorcist if I have a baby?

Me: Um, no.

And then I couldn't help it, I started giggling. Mostly because the thought of Sean in seminary school or as an exorcist is beyond ridiculous. Also because I'm pretty sure that's the worst reason I've ever heard for getting someone pregnant. *Let me state- for the record- he was kidding about both of those things* I ended my rant by saying that I was tired of being responsible for every one's business and I refused to nag them until they got their stuff done anymore (Sean's eagle project, Lu signing up for birthing classes and registering at the hospital) and that they were now on their own. Sink or swim time. I have got to get them to take more responsibility for their lives. Then I mentioned how I knew this little meltdown wouldn't do any good and I'd see them same place same time next week.

And with that I went to bed. In bed was where I read all the twitter updates about the horrible tornadoes and damage to Joplin, Mo. And then I felt like a wretch. Here I was yelling at my family when people had just lost theirs. Instead of being thankful for the fact that I have a home, plenty of food, and my family around me- I was complaining. I was not remembering that it can all be snatched from you in an instant. And I was not remembering to value them. Why does it take a tragedy to remind of us these things? And how can we learn to filter what's truly important from what's truly petty? I dont' have these answers. I struggle with this in my own life. I went back out and told them that regardless of everything I loved them all and I would try not to meltdown anymore. They promised to try harder to be more helpful (emphasis on the word "try").  And then I went back to bed and asked the universe to help me remember not to take what I have for granted and to be a better mother, better wife, better person.

Life is short and unpredictable.


Saturday, May 21, 2011

The one where I totally planned a dress rehearsal and no one believes me...

So picture this...Mike takes the afternoon off (before a huge camp-out, meaning this is a really big deal), Lu takes the day off work and Sean shaves and trims his beard. We all get up, get dressed up and pile into two vehicles because Mike & Sean have to be back earlier than Lu & I. Then we fill up said vehicles with gas (which is pricey). Then we drive two hours to Springfield where CJ's school is located. I call my parents (who live in Springfield), give them directions to the school. Then we arrive, find great parking spaces and enter the education center. I go up to the receptionist desk and this conversation ensues~

Me: Hi! We're here for graduation but we're waiting on two more people.

Receptionist: *crickets chirping*

Me: We're CJ's parents...

Receptionist: *completely blank look* Graduation?

Me: *beginning to wonder about this lady* Its in the activity room?

Receptionist: Graduation is next week.

Me: Um. I don't think so. Jayne told me it was today.

Receptionist: Its next Friday.

At this point, I can see her calendar on her desk and "Graduation" is clearly printed on next Friday's square. I felt ridiculous. And guess what? I went back and checked the email and the teacher did give me the right date. I have absolutely no idea how I made this ginormous mistake. Mike, Sean & Lu are all giving me dirty looks. Lu has to work next Friday. Sean has a training for CRC next Friday. Mike is unsure of his schedule.

The receptionist asks if we want to go to the other campus and visit CJ anyway. I tell her no, that if we do he'll only get upset when I don't take him home with me. No sense in needlessly upsetting him. I'll be back next week. So we go outside and meet my folks, who've just arrived. We tell them what happened and everyone laughs hysterically at me. They take us out to lunch anyway, which is great. Then Mike & Sean jet back home. My folks take Lu & I crib shopping and then we have pie & coffee before we head home. So it was a good day. Just not the day I'd planned. I try telling them it was just a dress rehearsal but no one is buying that story.

A mistake of this magnitude is completely unlike me. I will admit to being caught up in work lately. And having too many upcoming events to keep track of and plan. But sheesh, what the heck was I thinking?? Did my brain take a vacation the rest of me didn't know about?? And what about all those people at Prom last week that I said "see you next week" to? Nobody asked me what I meant. CJ's teacher called me and apologized. I assured her it was in no way her fault. All my screw up. She said when she went back and read the email I sent yesterday morning, she could now tell I had the wrong date. That doesn't help much though.

But hopefully Lu, Sean & Mike can all get things situated so they can attend. My parents & I will be there for sure. And it was really really good pie.

Happy Weekend,

Friday, May 20, 2011

The one where I take a new job...

Mike and I had this conversation the other night~

Me: Do you think I'm crazy?

Him: We've been together 23 years. I know you're crazy.

Me: Yeah. But that's not what I meant. I meant for taking on more work when there's so much going on in our lives. There's Lu's baby, you're getting ready to be busier than a cranberry merchant at bogging time and I'm trying to get the house fixed up.

Him: Crazy? No. I just wonder why you want to start fixing other people's books. Won't that cut down on your time to write?

Me: It could I guess. If I let it. But I usually divide my day into pieces. I'm most productive at my own writing in the late afternoon/ early evening. I do most of my other stuff in the morning. Or late at night. Writing my own stuff is still the goal. But I really really enjoy editing and proofreading. And I'm really good at it. And it's just for me. Does that make sense? For the first time in a long time, my self worth is less connected to you and the children and more focused on my own abilities.

Him: You know I back you in whatever you want to do. If it makes you happy then you should do it.

And so I did. I took a job as Editor at Angelic Knight Press. I'm very excited to join their staff. And they did a lovely announcement. If you get the chance, please read it. I'm really looking forward to the challenge.

And guess what? CJ graduates today. I can't believe he turns 21 this year. So much is happening so fast. So many good things have happened this week that I find myself waiting with breath held for the ominous portents to start showing up. Crazy, huh?

Happy TGIF people,

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The one where we discuss my work and other things...

I know my children are nearly adults. They know they are nearly adults. Somehow they just forget to act like it sometimes. And they still don't seem to realize that "working from home" includes the key phrase "working". Because I'm home most days, it still seems to fall to me to cook, clean & run our lives. You know; schedule doctors appts, grocery shop, deal with insurance, balance checkbooks, make travel arrangements, keep the calendar updated so people know when they're coming and going and who else is where. Oh and keep bored people entertained. And this is why my Facebook statuses so often proclaim that I'm incredibly happy to be home alone. Those are the days when I get things done. Those are the days when I spend from the time I get up until the time I go to bed working. And even after I go to bed if I'm reading an upcoming review book on my Kindle. Here are a few conversations we've had about my work lately:

Lu: (after coming home from work around 10 pm) Did you even call the insurance lady today?

Me: Of course I called her. Why would you think that I wouldn't?

Lu: Because you were working when I mentioned it before I left and when you work you're in your own little world so I wasn't sure you even heard me.

Me: It's called time management. I come up for air around 11:30 and take a shower, eat lunch and do any pressing household business before going back to work. But your utter lack of confidence in my abilities is heartwarming. Thanks.

After Sean got home from Scouts:

Sean: So all the guys were complaining about their mornings today and I told them how hard mine was. How I had to roll out of bed at 8:30 and then I had to eat Pop-tarts even though I hate them because you wouldn't make me breakfast.

Me: I was working. And you're a big boy.

Sean: Then they all wanted to know why you were still home at that time so I had to explain that you work at home and how you're a writer and all. They were hugely impressed.

Me: Aw. Thanks.

Sean: Well they were impressed until I told them about how you never used to burn supper and now you do it all the time because you're so caught up in work.

Me: Thanks. Thanks for that.

And this convo:

*Lu's friend at work recently had a boy baby and now the two of them are always joking about who will have a girl first.*

Lu: I told S about how you said I should probably get married before I had any more babies and we were laughing. She said you and Luke were probably in cahoots and you probably had my wedding dress stashed in your closet somewhere.

Me: I would never buy your wedding dress without you. But I might refuse to buy it at all if you continue having babies and don't marry the poor guy. Besides, there's no room in my closet.

Lu: I told her yeah, you'd tell me to put it on some day and say we were going out to eat and the next thing I'd know I'd be standing in front of the courthouse with a ring on my finger and a marriage certificate.

Me: Who wears a wedding dress out to eat??

Sean was just laughing through this conversation.

Me: I'm so glad I can provide both of you with fodder for entertaining your friends.

Sean: Don't even be like that. You know you're going to blog this conversation.

Well said Sean, well said. And now I have.

Happy middle of the week,

PS- Got a few extra minutes? Check out the short story I put up at The Author Spot. And if you leave a comment, I'll be extra happy.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The one where we talk about the weekend...

So first's the picture of Morel mushrooms that everyone asked for. The Mountain Dew bottle in the picture is to give you a visual for size. Yes they were gigantic mushrooms. I'm still convinced gnomes are going to come after us for stealing their homes.

But whatever! So Lu and I went to the movies last Tuesday night to see "Water For Elephants". We had both loved the book and I was convinced they would screw up the movie as they so often do. Fortunately, I was wrong. They did a really good job. Oh, they changed a few things, left things out, ect. but all in all, it was well done. I highly recommend seeing it even if you haven't read the book. Lu and I had eaten dinner before the movie so we'd only gotten a soda during. Afterwards, I said I was going to the bathroom before we left.

Me: Don't you have to go again? (C'mon, she's seven and a half months pregnant. She goes a lot!)

Lu: No.

Me: Must be because you leaked all that water out of your eyes during the movie.

Lu: Don't talk to me.

I had to laugh at this because before pregnancy, Lu almost never cried at movies. I used to call her the Ice Princess. Mostly because I cry at movies all the time. Hell, I even cry at animated movies. This gives my family no end of entertainment in making fun of me. Once when Sean was about nine and we watched "Monsters, Inc" I cried when Boo had to go home. Small Sean looked at me and said, "You know this is a cartoon, right? These aren't real people." Other times they'd just pass me a tissue box as soon as we sat down. So now that Lu's hormones are kicking in, I'm enjoying the payback.

We went to CJ's prom on Friday. It was bittersweet, knowing it will be the last one. Not that CJ has ever seemed to really care about Prom itself, he's just happy to see Lu & I.

He did not win king, but no matter, he didn't seem to care and the boy who won did care. He was very excited. CJ was more interested in the hors-d'oeuvres. Can't say I blame him, they were delicious. Many people stopped by our table to talk. The principle of the school stopped to shake my hand and put his arm around me.
Lu: Is that someone important?

Me: He's the principle.

Lu: So that's what kissing ass looks like.

She said that because I've been called multiple times by the school after they mail out their survey forms. I don't pull any punches and they get my honest opinion. Its not always favorable. There is always an apology call and a look what new opportunity we've opened up for your son. Its sad, but that's the way the world works. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Don't get me wrong. I'm never mean. That doesn't get you anywhere. I'm polite but firm. And I back up my opinion with facts. And since I worked in the field (eons ago), I'm still on good terms with important people. As Sean once said, "I've never seen anyone say 'things are going to change for the better in this situation or you're going to be very sorry' with a soft voice and a smile on their face before." Naturally, those weren't my exact words. But mess with my kids, and I'll show you Mama Bear. And now, we have to find a new place for CJ since he's turning 21. He transitions from school to adult care. I'm not looking forward to the transition. He doesn't like change much.

I'm sure some people are wondering why we don't just bring him home to live. Don't think I haven't thought about it. I miss my son dearly. And saying good-bye when we drop him back off at his group home never gets easier. Ever. Its like leaving a piece of your heart somewhere. And more times than not, tears are streaming down my face the minute I get in the car. The only thing that makes it bearable is knowing that he has good people working with him and he has a good relationship with them. And now we have to find a new home. And the reasons we don't bring him home are many. Mostly because he craves routine. He likes to know exactly when things are happening. Unfortunately, our house is usually chaos and its nearly impossible to keep to his routine. Also, he is more independent at the group home. He does things there he refuses to do at home. Mostly because he knows I'm a sucker and will do it for him. And the biggest reason is this...if anything happened to his father or I, he would be okay. He would miss us but his life would continue on in a predictable manner. If he lived at home and something happened to us, his entire life would change and he would be devastated. See, it really is about thinking realistically about what's best for him.

Other highlights of the weekend included getting to see my uncle from Arizona some more. Getting to visit with my sister and her family. And doing some shopping with Lu. Baby Dylan is going to be the best dressed kid on the planet because I can't seem to stop buying him clothes. We had to get some more for Lu too, since she just keeps growing. She's super uncomfortable now as Dylan is taking up most of the room in her abdomen and keeping her awake at night with his nocturnal rolling and kicking. He's going to be a wild child.

The downpoint of the weekend? CJ flushed the ring Mike got me for Christmas down the hotel toilet. I freaking loved that ring. CJ has a fascination with flushing things down the loo. If its not nailed down, he'll try to flush it. And he's quicker than I am, and crafty about it. Mike says he'll buy me a new ring, but I loved THAT one. You should have seen the look on the face of the desk guy at the hotel when we told him. I'm sure he was wondering how our room looked and what else had been flushed.

Also today there are posts up at my other blogs. Stop over at See Spot Read and find out about zombie goldfish. Visit The Author Spot and read an interview with Lisa McCourt Hollar. Start following her blog, if you aren't too squeamish.

Happy Monday Y'all,

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The one where we talk about Morels...

Do you like wild mushrooms? I don't remember ever eating them until I met Mike. My mother's family always lived here in Illinois and they hunted and such so I'd eaten a wide variety of critters since childhood but Mike introduced me to deer (which I can handle), duck (gag) and turtle (never again). He also introduced me to Morels. I love the taste of them. I even like hunting for them when I get the chance. But I really hate frying them. It takes too long, it makes a mess and I'm over it. Unfortunately, I live with the "mushroom whisperer".

Yeah, that's Mike. For real. I couldn't even make this up if I tried. The man can spot a mushroom growing under a tree from his truck window as he barrels past at 40 mph. We've all gotten used to him suddenly braking and yelling "Mushroom!" At which point someone has to get out of the truck and pick it, because heaven forbid, we leave one behind. When the kids were little and we took them out to the woods mushroom hunting, we'd be traipsing through the woods and as little kids will- they'd be bickering, singing, generally making noise. Mike would bellow "SHHHHHH!" To which I'd reply "Really?! What? Are we going to scare them away?"

I'm not sure how other mushroom hunters are doing this year, but Mike is having a good run. Too good, in my humble "I have to cook the damn things" opinion. We've eaten tons of them, we've given some away, we fed them to my parents on Easter, and still there are bowls of the damn things taking up room in my fridge and taunting me with their "you have to cook us soon" smiles.

He sent me a photo when I was in town the other day that had a mess of mushrooms he'd picked and a mountain dew bottle. Why the mountain dew bottle? For size reference. The mushrooms were fully as big as the bottle. I texted him back and asked if he'd picked some Gnome's home? Because those little buggers will come after you. Even mowing the grass the other day he braked suddenly, climbed off the mower and picked about 20 mushrooms in my front yard. I told you, he's the "mushroom whisperer". And I'm the fry cook. Fab. Is mushroom season over yet?

In other news, CJ's last prom is Friday and he's up for Prom King. Molly is escorting him and I will take tons of photos. We are going to stay in Springfield and visit because my sister's family and my uncle will all be there as well. My uncle lives in Phoenix and comes to visit once a year. He & my Dad will be here tomorrow to fish and barbecue and load up on the potato salad and lemon pies I make from their mom's recipes.

Lu had an accident last night on her way home from work. She hit a deer, which happens a lot around here. Luckily, the deer jumped at the last minute and landed on her hood instead of her impacting it with the front of her car. Someone was watching out for her. As there was no front impact, the air bag didn't deploy and the seat belt didn't jerk her. She and baby Dylan are fine. Waiting to hear what the insurance says about the car though.

And also, I started a new author page. I've linked to it on my sidebar or you can find it at The Author Spot. I will be moving my author interviews over there as of next Monday as they fit in better there. I will be talking about my writing, writing in general and the trials and tribulations that go along with it. I'll also be posting some current works-in-progress. It would be lovely if you checked it out. I would, of course, appreciate a follow by those of you who are interested and you can even like my page on Facebook.

Happy Tuesday,

Monday, May 9, 2011

The one where I interview Claudia Lefeve, Author and Super Woman

Ok, so technically she's probably not the actual "Super Woman" but she advocates for victims rights and is even willing to put money towards the cause, so in my book she's a Super Woman. And you've just read it on the Internet, so it must be true, right? Well, now that we've got that settled, everyone should grab a beverage while we cozy up to Claudia and pick her brain.

First, please note that you can read my review of her novella, The Fury, over at See Spot Read. And now the interview:

1.) How long have you been writing?
Unlike a lot of authors out there, I didn't pen my first novel at five, but I've always loved telling stories. 

2.) What made you choose the horror genre? Have you always been a horror fan?
Horror is one of the few genres that allows the reader to carry over that element of fear, beyond the last turn of the page. Personally, I think a person is more likely to check under the bed or behind the closet door after a good scary story, than to expect true love to come knocking on your door right after reading a romance novel. Call me cheap...I want my money's worth.

3.) What is your writing routine like? Do you have another job?
I don't really have a routine, but I try to write every night after work. With working full-time for the police and my part-time job as a college adjunct, it's simply a matter of time management. When not doing any of the above, I can almost always be found on the couch with my laptop - like right now.

4.) I've recently discovered that garden gnomes creep me out. What scares you? Do you have any silly phobias?
Dolls, puppets, and clowns will kill you in the middle of the night. It's true. When I was in high school, I refused to crash in my friend's room one night because she had a ventriloquist dummy in her closet. It's a good thing I don't have kids or they'd be stuck with only Tonka trucks!

5.) Who would you say your biggest literary influences are?
Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut, Stephen King, and my beloved William Faulkner. Their writing reflects a desire to entertain and engage readers on their own terms, not to please. There's a difference.

6.) The Fury deals with rape and I see that you are donating profits from the sale for a whole month to Pandora's Project. How did that come about?
While I get to advocate for the rights of victims in my full-time job, I rarely get the opportunity to support causes like Pandora's Project on a more personal level. The Fury is entirely fictional, but it stemmed from a case I worked on when I wanted to set the whole courtroom ablaze after an unfavorable verdict. The story just grew from there.

*From April 15th to May 15th, all proceeds from the sale of Claudia's novella, The Fury, will be donated to Pandora's Project in recognition of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Please visit her website to purchase the book*

7.) Do you ever scare yourself when you're writing?
Can't say that I scare myself as I'm writing, but I definitely have my moments while researching.

8.) I've noticed that you've done short stories and a novella. Is there a novel in the works?
When I finally built up enough confidence in my writing, I sent out a few short stories that were sold to a couple of anthologies. Last fall I started working on a novel, Heir. I had it pretty much wrapped-up, until I decided to do a 180 and changed it from fantasy to sci-fi/paranormal. I'm currently in the re-write process and I'm hopeful for a mid-late summer release.

9.) Do you belong to a writing group? Who reads your first drafts?
I'm not part of a writing group, but I'm a current sponsor and participant in A Round of Words in Eighty Days. It's a writing challenge offered quarterly, designed for writers who, well, have a life! Even though ROW80 is an individual challenge, it's amazing how much support you receive from the other writers involved. I even found one of my best beta readers being involved in this challenge.

10.) What advice would you give to newbie writers?
Write everyday! Over the last couple years, I've finally begun to believe in myself and my writing. Most of that is due to making writing a daily habit.

Claudia Lefeve lives in Northern Virginia with her husband and two pugs. For more information about the author, please visit her blog or website at

Thanks for stopping by dear readers!  We're back to my regularly scheduled nonsense tomorrow!

Happy Monday,

Friday, May 6, 2011

The one where I didn't plan on posting today...

Yeah, I'm totally like trying to make a posting schedule and all. And I only had the idea yesterday and I'm already screwing it up. This is why me and schedules cannot exist in the same dimension. Because I just can't keep to one even when I'm the one who made it up. *sigh*

Anyway, I wasn't going to post today but then we had some awesome (and by awesome, I totally mean inappropriate and ridiculous) conversations last night and if I don't post them I might forget them which would suck for you guys. So without further ado:

Last night at dinner~

Lu: Sean is really on my nerves. Can we send him somewhere? Like to a traveling circus?

Me: Um. I don't think there are many traveling circuses anymore and it's not like he's got a circus "talent". He can't ride a horse or walk a tightrope or train elephants.

Lu: How about a freak show?

Me: Again, not many of those around anymore and um. He's not exactly a freak. I don't think sarcastic a**hole qualifies you for freakdom.

Sean: Hey. I resemble that remark. And actually there is one freak show still in operation.

Me: Really? I thought that someone stepped in and was all "freak shows aren't politically correct" and took them out of operation. I thought I saw a show on it and the people who were in freak shows were all pissed off because they were making money and now they can't.

Sean: I saw a show about this one last freak show.

Mike: yeah I saw it too. It was a taboo episode.

Me: Hmmm...well maybe Sean could be like the Bearded Lady only he'd be the Bearded A**hole.

Sean: Did you really just say that?!

Me: I meant because you have a beard. But that really did not come out right, did it?

Lu: No. But maybe he could be like the guy who walks behind the elephants scooping up their poop. Sean could be a freak poop scooper.

Mike: I think we should probably change the subject. So what's for dessert?

Later that night~

Lu: So I had a dream I was pregnant with triplets.

Sean: That's a nightmare! And you better pray for boys.

Me: Boys are easier, but I'd hope you were having girls. They'd be so cute!

Sean: Are you kidding me?! Can you imagine 3 Lus around here?! All the hormones! All the drama!

Me: But this Lu does the laundry. Maybe Lu #2 could do dishes and #3 could clean bathrooms.

Lu: I'm pretty sure triplet me would NOT do bathrooms. That's just gross.

Sean: My point exactly.

Me: Um. Well. I really can't imagine another you around here either Sean.

Sean: Oh hell no! There can be only one.

Lu: Yeah, one bearded a**hole per planet.

Sean: Me and Me#2 would have "Highlander"ed that shit out in the backyard a long time ago.

As you can's still crazy all up in here. But there are big things a-brewin. And a few changes coming. Stay tuned.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

The one where I ramble randomly...

Is there any other way to ramble? I mean, if you have a purpose its not really rambling is it? And these are the circles my brain is going in today. I blame the peach margaritas from last night. So here we go...

Odd facts about my blog:

According to the "stats" I'm hugely popular in Russia. Seriously, more people in Russia view my blog than people in the US. Then there is Hungary and The Czech Republic. I'm not sure why Eastern Europe is so fond of me, but apparently they find me entertaining. Someone told me I should go there on vacation and wear an "I am Spot" t-shirt.

Also according to the "stats" a lot of people found my blog by googling "acting + strangely". I suppose I should be slightly concerned by this, but I'm not. I mean, that kind of describes my blog (and my family) perfectly, doesn't it?

Recent conversations at my house:

Lu: What's a sickle?

Me: It's that thing you can cut grass with. If you're the Grim Reaper.

Sean: That's a scythe.

Me: I know. The sickle is like the junior version.


Me: *reading from my phone* Hey! Guess what somebody just said about me on Twitter? "Do us all a fav. Follow @. I know freaking awesome and she's it!"

Lu: Hmmm. Is that so?

Me: Duh. If you read it online it must be true. Everyone knows that.


Me: You guys make it really hard to work.

Sean: No we don't.

Me: Yes you do. I'm just getting into something and one of you will be all "you should make dinner".

Lu: Sean started it.

Sean: No, I asked you "what's for dinner". I can ask that and eat hours later. Lu was the one who was all "I'm starving. Feed the pregnant girl".

Me: and then you guys had to argue about what I should make for dinner. "I don't want burritos." "I don't like Hamburger Helper."

Sean: Whatever. You need me. I remind you to eat and pee. Seriously, if I wasn't here you'd sit there working for days.

Me: It's true. He does ask me if I've eaten and bring me food.

Sean: Yeah. And I hear you mutter "I have to pee". And then an hour later I'm like "didn't you have to pee" and you're all "I totally forgot." And get up and go. Without me, you'd need depends.

Me: He's got a point.

Hope Cinco de Mayo is treating you well,

Monday, May 2, 2011

The one where I do another author interview...

That's right...I'm like the Barbara Walters of the Indie Author world. Or I will be. Some day. Only without so much nasal voice. So hurry up, grab a seat and a beverage (BYO of course). Today's interview is with Anthony Izzo whom I met through the Indie Horror site. If you are a writer of horror, a reader of horror or offer services to authors you should definitely check this site out. Oh and they're going to put up my review there as well. Which is probably only exciting to me but I thought I'd let you know anyway. So without further ado...

Anthony Izzo writes, draws, and plays guitar with his wife and two sons at his home in the creepy snow covered hills of Western New York. When he is not horrifying his neighbors, he can usually be found in a local library, museum, or billiard room. And I found out his favorite color is know...because I'm all investigative like that...

You may also find Anthony online at, or on facebook at Anthony Izzo.

I took the time to ask Anthony some questions about his writing life....

1.)How long have you been writing novels?
I've been writing novels for about fifteen years.

2.)What do you do for your day job?
For my day job, I work in the wild-and-crazy world of health insurance.

3.)Is this your fist published novel?
No Escape is not my first published novel. My first, Cruel Winter, was published by Kensington/Pinnacle books in 2005.

4.)What made you decide to go the Indie route?
I went Indie because the market for my print books seemed to dry up. I also love the creative freedom of being an independent author.

5.)In No Escape there is a huge military presence and the main character is ex-military. Do you have a military background yourself?
I don't have a military background, but military technology and military history have always been interests of mine.

6.)What scares you personally? Do you have any silly phobias?
I have a horrible fear of heights. Tall ladders are my sworn enemy.

7.)What is your writing routine?
I typically write 3-4 pages a day. Usually in a couple of writing sessions.

8.)Have you always been a fan of horror?
I've loved horror since I watched the first Halloween movie back in the early eighties.

9.)What other authors inspire you?
I'm inspired by Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Cormac McCarthy, and most recently, Joe Konrath.

10.)What advice would you give to newbie writers out there?
Read a lot and write a lot. Above all, don't quit!

Thank you very much Anthony, it was a pleasure both reading your book and doing the interview. Don't miss my review of Anthony's book, No Escape over at See Spot Read! You can find No Escape for sale at Smashwords and other ebook retailers. His other works include: Cruel Winter, Evil Harvest, and The Dark Ones.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by. Those of you who are new...sit a spell, look around check out the archives. To all my regulars...I promise more nonsense from my family next post.

Happy Monday,