Showing posts with label why we should never be allowed out of our house. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why we should never be allowed out of our house. Show all posts

Friday, May 6, 2011

The one where I didn't plan on posting today...

Yeah, I'm totally like trying to make a posting schedule and all. And I only had the idea yesterday and I'm already screwing it up. This is why me and schedules cannot exist in the same dimension. Because I just can't keep to one even when I'm the one who made it up. *sigh*

Anyway, I wasn't going to post today but then we had some awesome (and by awesome, I totally mean inappropriate and ridiculous) conversations last night and if I don't post them I might forget them which would suck for you guys. So without further ado:

Last night at dinner~

Lu: Sean is really on my nerves. Can we send him somewhere? Like to a traveling circus?

Me: Um. I don't think there are many traveling circuses anymore and it's not like he's got a circus "talent". He can't ride a horse or walk a tightrope or train elephants.

Lu: How about a freak show?

Me: Again, not many of those around anymore and um. He's not exactly a freak. I don't think sarcastic a**hole qualifies you for freakdom.

Sean: Hey. I resemble that remark. And actually there is one freak show still in operation.

Me: Really? I thought that someone stepped in and was all "freak shows aren't politically correct" and took them out of operation. I thought I saw a show on it and the people who were in freak shows were all pissed off because they were making money and now they can't.

Sean: I saw a show about this one last freak show.

Mike: yeah I saw it too. It was a taboo episode.

Me: Hmmm...well maybe Sean could be like the Bearded Lady only he'd be the Bearded A**hole.

Sean: Did you really just say that?!

Me: I meant because you have a beard. But that really did not come out right, did it?

Lu: No. But maybe he could be like the guy who walks behind the elephants scooping up their poop. Sean could be a freak poop scooper.

Mike: I think we should probably change the subject. So what's for dessert?

Later that night~

Lu: So I had a dream I was pregnant with triplets.

Sean: That's a nightmare! And you better pray for boys.

Me: Boys are easier, but I'd hope you were having girls. They'd be so cute!

Sean: Are you kidding me?! Can you imagine 3 Lus around here?! All the hormones! All the drama!

Me: But this Lu does the laundry. Maybe Lu #2 could do dishes and #3 could clean bathrooms.

Lu: I'm pretty sure triplet me would NOT do bathrooms. That's just gross.

Sean: My point exactly.

Me: Um. Well. I really can't imagine another you around here either Sean.

Sean: Oh hell no! There can be only one.

Lu: Yeah, one bearded a**hole per planet.

Sean: Me and Me#2 would have "Highlander"ed that shit out in the backyard a long time ago.

As you can see...it's still crazy all up in here. But there are big things a-brewin. And a few changes coming. Stay tuned.

♥Spot