The one where we discuss my new story over dinner...

Last night Sean got to come home for dinner. It was family night at camp (you know, in our front yard). On family night, the families of the scouts come and have dinner in their campsites and there's a big campfire. But Lu and I weren't planning to go this week. We'll pop down next week when Sean's troop is in camp. So Sean had been home briefly earlier in the day, looking for something. And I mentioned that I was making Salmon Fettuccine for dinner and he decided he'd eat here. I did not invite Mike to eat at home because that is not a dinner he would like. So Sean comes home, Lu gets home from work and we sit down to eat.

Sean: Dad told everyone you didn't invite him to dinner.

Me: He wouldn't even like this!

Sean: I'm just telling you what he said.

Me: That man....grrr.

Me: So I wrote a story today for the friday flash on the vamplit blog. Remember that baboon leg lamp we saw on Oddities, Lu?

Lu: Yes. That thing was hideous! You wrote about that?

Me: The theme had to be "terrible taxidermy". Where do you even think you get a severed baboon leg?

Sean: You cut it off a baboon, duh.

Lu: Why would anyone even want that?

Me: Well in the story, the guy's obsessed with Africa...

Sean: Which is really stupid because Baboons are native to South America.

Lu: Mom! I thought you said you were going to research Baboons...

Me: I did Lu. Settle down. Why do you ever believe your brother? He's teasing. He already tried that on me...

Sean: And she was like, I researched it. Her trying to be accurate is really ruining my fun.

Me: I had to research it, I wanted to get the fight scene accurate. Did you know that Baboons are omnivorous? They will actually eat small animals, like small antelope.

Lu: small antelope?

Sean: That's like saying small whales. It's still a big animal. Well thank Bob they don't eat HUGE whales. See? Ridiculous.

Me: And they will sometimes steal babies out of huts because they sound like Baboon babies. They have similar cries.

Lu: That's awful!!

Me: What do you think they do with the babies when they realize they aren't all hairy? And that they aren't baboons?

Sean: They probably eat them.

Lu & Me: gross!

Lu: So they have that whale bath tub I want at Sears.

Sean: Wheel bathtub?

Lu: Whale!

Me: Its a little bathtub shaped like a whale for the baby. But you shouldn't get it Lu, because according to Sean whales attract baboons.

Sean: And then they'll steal your baby.

How do these conversations go so far awry??

Happy Friday,
♥Spot

PS- you can read the story over at The Author Spot. It's not for the squeamish though!

The one where I didn't plan on posting today...

Yeah, I'm totally like trying to make a posting schedule and all. And I only had the idea yesterday and I'm already screwing it up. This is why me and schedules cannot exist in the same dimension. Because I just can't keep to one even when I'm the one who made it up. *sigh*

Anyway, I wasn't going to post today but then we had some awesome (and by awesome, I totally mean inappropriate and ridiculous) conversations last night and if I don't post them I might forget them which would suck for you guys. So without further ado:

Last night at dinner~

Lu: Sean is really on my nerves. Can we send him somewhere? Like to a traveling circus?

Me: Um. I don't think there are many traveling circuses anymore and it's not like he's got a circus "talent". He can't ride a horse or walk a tightrope or train elephants.

Lu: How about a freak show?

Me: Again, not many of those around anymore and um. He's not exactly a freak. I don't think sarcastic a**hole qualifies you for freakdom.

Sean: Hey. I resemble that remark. And actually there is one freak show still in operation.

Me: Really? I thought that someone stepped in and was all "freak shows aren't politically correct" and took them out of operation. I thought I saw a show on it and the people who were in freak shows were all pissed off because they were making money and now they can't.

Sean: I saw a show about this one last freak show.

Mike: yeah I saw it too. It was a taboo episode.

Me: Hmmm...well maybe Sean could be like the Bearded Lady only he'd be the Bearded A**hole.

Sean: Did you really just say that?!

Me: I meant because you have a beard. But that really did not come out right, did it?

Lu: No. But maybe he could be like the guy who walks behind the elephants scooping up their poop. Sean could be a freak poop scooper.

Mike: I think we should probably change the subject. So what's for dessert?

Later that night~

Lu: So I had a dream I was pregnant with triplets.

Sean: That's a nightmare! And you better pray for boys.

Me: Boys are easier, but I'd hope you were having girls. They'd be so cute!

Sean: Are you kidding me?! Can you imagine 3 Lus around here?! All the hormones! All the drama!

Me: But this Lu does the laundry. Maybe Lu #2 could do dishes and #3 could clean bathrooms.

Lu: I'm pretty sure triplet me would NOT do bathrooms. That's just gross.

Sean: My point exactly.

Me: Um. Well. I really can't imagine another you around here either Sean.

Sean: Oh hell no! There can be only one.

Lu: Yeah, one bearded a**hole per planet.

Sean: Me and Me#2 would have "Highlander"ed that shit out in the backyard a long time ago.

As you can see...it's still crazy all up in here. But there are big things a-brewin. And a few changes coming. Stay tuned.

♥Spot