Wednesday, January 27, 2010

If you tell the Universe to flip off, it might break your dishwasher.

Because it totally did. Hubby says that actually it's like limescale build up or a pump or something but I know it was the Universe striking back. But again...I managed to tell it to flip off. I went out to eat. What now Universe? What now?! I know you think I'm seriously putting myself in danger taunting the universe but I'm in a rebel kind of mood. Actually, I'm in a really odd mood. So for today's post I'm going to give you conversations from yesterday...

As I said, dishwasher is broken. Hubby got up to the kitchen flooded with water yesterday morning from the dishwasher. He mopped it up (I'm going to guess that alot of foul language accompanied this...but I slept through it so I can't say for sure.) He then obsessed about the dishwasher. I mean he worked on it all day. He didn't even come to dinner and the movies with me and the kids last night. So yesterday afternoon, I get up and walk through the kitchen...he's doing dishes...

Me: What are you doing?

Hubby: Dishes.

Me: Why?

Hubby: because I'm trying to fix the dishwasher and I had to take the dirty dishes out of it.

Me: Why didn't you just holler for me? I would have done them.

Hubby: Because it's personal. This is between me and the effing dishwasher.

Me: Oh. I see. (but really I don't). Well why aren't you using the dishpan? (said blue dishpan is sitting on the counter and the sink is full of suds).

Hubby: because I can fit more in the sink without it. I hate the dishpan.

Me: Uh huh. Well I've never seen you do the dishes without the dishpan.

Hubby: When was the last time you saw me do dishes?

Me: Good point. (it was like maybe never ago).

As I'm downstairs folding clean laundry and changing loads, Sean sticks his head in the room and asks what time we're leaving. Then we begin to discuss stuff we really need to start working on for him to finish school this semester...

Sean: We really need to get some sort of routine.

Me: I have a routine.

Sean: No you don't.

Me: Um, sure I do. I have stuff that I do everyday. Just not maybe at the same time or in the same order every day. But it all gets done. That's like a routine.

Sean: That's nothing like a routine.

Me: It's kind of sort of like a routine...

Sean: No. It's really not.

Then on the way to town, Sean got a voicemail to call the head of the OA Lodge (boy scout stuff). So he calls and this is his side of the conversation...

The sky. (and by this I know the other person asked "what's up?")
Why what do you need?
You know the usual, crack and strippers.
Saint who?
What saint's church?
What about the new Scout Exec?
Anthony? Okay. See you then.

It turned out they wanted him to do a ceremony at Saint Anthony's church on Saturday. For the new scout executive's son's pack. You got that out of it, right? I hope Homeland Security never taps his phone...

And last but not least, as I was sitting here on the computer, hubby (who's still locked in mortal combat with the dishwasher) yells...

Hubby: Do you have any old toothbrushes?

Me: Um. No. Why would I save old toothbrushes?

Hubby: Do you have any new toothbrushes?

Me: Of course. (I keep lots of new ones, for overnight guests who forget theirs. I like clean breath. And good dental hygiene.) So I get up and go to my bathroom and get my toothbrush because I need a new one like every month. I brush too hard and splay out the bristles. I take it to him.

Me: Here you can have mine.

Hubby: thanks.

Me: But I don't want it back. It's like a gift. There's no return policy.

Hubby: I'm not sure why you felt the need, but I'm glad you clarified that for me.

Me: I'm just a giver. What can I say?

I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday and that the Universe doesn't break your dishwasher.

I'm doing a new review on What Spot Saw today.



  1. It's a universal truth that if something is broken and you can live with it... live with it. Because the moment you fix it, something bigger, more important and more expensive will break.

  2. Well, thank you very much for the wish of the Universe not breaking my dishwasher. Notice how I made Universe with a capital "U" out of respect for it and all...'cause I can't afford to have it not like me these days.

    I think Sean's a hoot and you're right....if anyone's listening, God knows what they'll think!

    "never ago" this!

  3. The dishwasher never breaks when its empty, damnit. I hate dishes, but I do like crack and strippers.

  4. LMAO Your husband and the comment that it was between him and the dishwasher? Bahaha. Seriously, I love how you all communicate.

  5. I misses ya, Spot.

    Trying (to no avail) to get a post done ... ahhhh!

    I have so much inner rage and nowhere to put it.

    Sorry about your dishwasher ... and your hubby :) Could be a long battle.

  6. I like that you specified it was a gift. Attention to details... I like that. I hope they never tapp my phone or read my blog. I know I am going to hell but I want to stay out of jail.

  7. If our dishwasher breaks does that mean I don't have to empty it again. That is my job and it has to be emptied too damn much. I insist that we switch to sandwiches and paper plates. A broken dishwasher for force us into this mode of living. Now exactly what was it you said to the Universe?

  8. We call that a marriage break down in our house. Then we go and buy a new dishwasher. If need be, we take things to pawn shop first.

  9. I would say that you are tempting fate, but you gave up your toothbrush for a good cause, so some good karma is coming your way. I am sure of it. Plus, how much punishment does the universe expect one person to take?? Broken dishwasher is over the line.

  10. Well, at least your hubby is persistant. Mine would have given up halfway through the first day and my ears would be bleeding from all the laungage that would go with it.

    I thought everyone had a package of cleaning toothbrushes. Maybe it's just me. LOL!

  11. You really pissed off the Universe and she is screwing with about role reversals, hubby doing dishes, and Sean telling you to get a routine...damn, I need to piss off the Universe! (I will if it gets my hubby to do the housework, ya know!)

  12. JP~ don't jinx me like that!! Besides, who can live without a dishwasher?? I cook alot! I'm not washing all those dishes by hand! That's crazy talk...

    Kathryn~ you're welcome! That would be an even bigger catastophe at your house! Dish soap in the eye is excrutiating. Lol.

    Elly Lou~ everyone loves a little crack and strippers now and again. Unless they're cracked out strippers, that's just a recipe for bad. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    UnA~ he has a tendency to take things personally. Even when it's an inanimate object. Weird, right?

    Dani~ miss you too! And I love your well written rage. =]

    Mepsipax~ you are indeed in trouble if they ever do. Isn't it funny how jail and hell rhyme? At least in hell you'll probably know some people so it won't be all bad.

    WW~ well I might have, but since he did the dishes it was ok.

    Jerry~ haha. That's Sean's job in our house. And he has suggested the paper plate thing before too. Great minds must think alike.

    Xtreme~ well the last time it broke he was out of town, but I just did without til he got back. Actually, I attempted to fix it and that did not go well. Now, I'm not even supposed to look at it cross eyed.

    DfG~ Seriously, I think it upset him more than me. Maybe it's because I wasn't the one up mopping in my underwear at 6 am. And I totally would have give the dishwashing task to someone else. The rule is I cook, I don't have to clean up after.

    Heather~ My sister has cleaning toothbrushes apparently. Weirdos.