Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mmmm....Gerard Butler...

So I don't have alot of time today, but I promise a longer post tomorrow. I have to go into town in the midst of this blizzard because both Lu and Hubby have dr. appts. And since I can only get Hubby to the doctor like once a year, no way am I canceling! So instead of my planned post which has been unceremoniously bumped to tomorrow's schedule, I give you the following conversation~

Picture this...I'm sitting here on the computer diligently reading and commenting on blogs. Sean is drinking coffee and watching the Today show on the TV in here. Lu is in my bathroom, curling her hair. Now, my bedroom is directly across the hall from this room and the bathroom is located just off the bedroom. Therefore, it is possible to have all three of us in the conversation (if we shout. which we often do).

Sean: Wow. Gerard Butler got fat.

Me: What??! No way.

Sean: Look! Quick...look at the TV.

Me: (twisting around in my chair like a pretzel to view the screen. A picture of Gerard from 300 and a picture of "fat" Gerard. Gone were the rock-like washboard abs and add some love handles) Oh he doesn't look that bad! Besides I still love him.

Lu: (shouting from the bathroom) what about Gerard?!

Me: they think he got fat.

Sean: He did get fat.

Lu: So? He probably just took a break from working out. He'll lose it.

Me: Yeah, it was the holidays, everyone gains some weight. They should cut him some slack.

Lu: Exactly. Poor Gerard.

Me: Besides, he's still got that awesome accent and those killer eyes.

Lu: Mhm.

Me: I could work that extra weight off him no problem!


Me: I just totally killed this conversation, didn't I? My bad.

Lu: Um yeah. Because I was totally picturing me & him and then you...and um...yeah. Eew.

Sean: I was picturing me & him and um...oh shit...did I say that out loud?

*convulsive giggling on all parts*

Sean: (shouting) what's that Dad? You need me to hammer something? Monster trucks and football!!*

Sean: Oh...look Jessica Simpson got fat too.

Me: (once again with the pretzel antics) Yep. She's fat.

Lu: Oh yeah. She is.

Ever wonder why we willingly cut men slack and not women?? Guess we're mean girls.

*Now, for the record, Sean is not into guys like that. Well, not as far as I know, and I wouldn't have a problem with it. He just says things like that for the laugh. And the laugh is NOT at the expense of gay people. The laugh is at the expense of men, who after saying something that might be deemed homosexual, suddenly launch into macho displays of how manly they actually are. I just wanted to set the record straight. No pun intended. My gosh...I just keep making it worse...I'm going to quit now...and just hope everyone gets a laugh out of it...



  1. You're too funny! =) And just for the record, we're an "all people" loving household and my husband still finds the need to grab at his nether regions and say "macho" crap to prove his manhood. Yeah, that's exactly what I think when I see him do that...stupid man.

  2. Isn't Gerard just gorgeous? Anyway, fat for him would be just fine for a normal human.

  3. I make those kind of comments all the time. Sometimes they're to a gay man, sometimes they're not. My wife gets a laugh out of it and I do a wicked lisp.

  4. Laugh received, you knucklehead!

    Hilarious conversation....loved Lu's reaction....and're still the MOM...not a WO-man!

    Please keep this in mind during future conversations about anyone who is HOT.

  5. Gerard Butler is definitely the hotness, as long as he isn't talking. He's a side mouth talker. Makes me twitchy.

  6. I would convert over to the Gerard Butler dream cycle, but Johnny Depp might get jealous.

  7. So what you're saying is that Sean is straight - not that there's anything wrong with that. Right?

    And I'm glad no one puts pics of me on screen with before and afters because...ew.

  8. LOL @Sean. :-) And twist my arm, I'll take Gerard fat any ol' day. Hey, I ain't married yet...:-D

  9. Mindy~ Men. Sheesh. Enough said. =]

    UnA~ thanks!

    Tina~ I know, right?!

    Management~ oh yeah. He's got the lisp down too. The funniest is when he pretends to be a pedophile, but I'm not sure anyone's ready for me to share those stories...

    Kathryn~ yes, I totally stand corrected. Lol.

    Evyi~ really? I totally never noticed that. I must get lost somewhere in his chest/ab region...or the eyes...what? Sorry? I totally zoned there...

    Heather~ Johnny doesn't seem to mind that I have other men. I guess he's just really good at sharing...

    Carolyn~ yes! Sean is straight. Judging by the girl drama that enveloped him this summer...very straight. And yeah, I'm so glad the paparazzi leaves me alone.

    Angelia~ Indeed! It's all window shopping anyway...


  10. LOL

    Tell Sean if he wants Gerard, he'll have to make it past me first. ; )