Friday, October 16, 2009

Damn that Spidey Sense!

Okay so I'm getting to this blog really late today but it's okay because I already put dinner in the crock pot so I'm not in a hurry or anything. Yeah I was productive today. Go me! I did three loads of laundry, put spicy deer chili in the crock pot, made all the beds, swept the kitchen, straightened and vacuumed the upstairs. And I tried to get by with not doing this. I tried to use Jenny's the house is not messy it's a "creative haven" line, but I wasn't even buying it so I knew I couldn't sell it to anyone else and I was going to have to knuckle down and do some work. Also, because even though it's only been like 4 days since I vacuumed I could probably have knit a sweater or two out of all the cat fur on the carpets. Which really grosses me out. So I was productive. Which can also be translated into boooorrrrriiinnnggg.

So about my spidey sense. You guys are gonna think I'm really weird or crazy but that's okay because I'm pretty sure alot of people think I'm crazy and everyone has their own "thing" you know so maybe crazy is my "thing". My spidey sense warns me of impending doom. Okay it also lets me know when people are pregnant or the phone's gonna ring or someone wants me to call them. Like today when my sister in law texted me and was all "guess what" and I just somehow knew that she was pregnant again but I didn't want to ruin her moment so I was all like "I don't know. What" and she was "I just found out I'm pregnant". And I was all "congratulations! that's awesome!" instead of yeah I know. Or when I call someone and they're all "I was just thinking about you" and I don't say "Yeah I know. What do you want?". Or I tell the kids to go get the phone and they say it hasn't rung yet and then it rings. (This used to really freak my husband out but now he's either okay with it or pretends he is). I know I'm totally freaking you out right now with my awesome psychic powers right?! Yeah, don't get excited, it's not like I can predict winning lottery numbers or anything else remotely useful.

But the spidey sense has been really helpful when raising teenagers. My daughter once asked me if she could go to a party (and I know the standard parent answer is no because it's a party but that's not how we do things) and I said "No. I have a really bad feeling about it" and she stopped asking because they know you don't argue with the spidey sense. The party got busted and everyone there got arrested and lost their drivers licenses. The spidey sense lets me know when they're lying too. You'd think that would make them never lie to me but they're teenagers so they really aren't that smart and then they get in even more trouble for lying when they should have just confessed. The sucky part about the spidey sense is knowing when something is going wrong in their relationships. Like I always knew when my daughter and her boyfriends were going to have huge fights or if she was being cheated on or lied too. You'd think that would be good, but it's not really. Because then you're forced to either keep quiet and get the ice cream ready or be the bearer of bad news. Let me tell you it's a tough call.

Sunday my son came into the family room and said that his girlfriend had to cancel their date. That she had a scholarship application due and a speech to write. Now, this isn't really odd because she is a very scholarly girl who works really hard at school but it sent off a remote tingle in the spidey sense. So I sent her a text (yes, she texts me frequently) and said "good luck on your scholarship thingy" and she didn't text me back. More alarm bells. I mentioned this to my daughter who texted her and said no it appeared things were fine and Lizzie said how sweet Sean is to her. But I couldn't stop the spidey sense. I told Mo that Lizzie was going to break up with Sean. Fast forward to Tuesday evening. We are on our way home from town. Both kids are texting. I'm driving and singing.

Sean: Lizzie says she needs to talk to me. She's going to call the home phone.

Me: (and Mo in complete unison) Uh oh.

Sean: What?

Me: when a girl says she needs to talk, it's never a good thing. Sorry buddy.

Mo: Mom said Sunday night that Lizzie was going to break up with you. So you should break up with her first. Or at least act all relieved when she says it.

Sean: (turning to me) seriously?

Me: 'fraid so. Sorry.

And she did. She said it just wasn't working out and they didn't get to spend enough time together. Which we all know in girl speak means there's another guy. He hung up the phone and came to the dinner table and said "you were right". But he wasn't too bummed. I mean there are lots of other girls. And he saved that $40 bucks he would have spent on dinner and a movie Sunday. And he got a freakin tattoo that day so now he's bad ass. But not too bad ass because he didn't pretend to be relieved or break up with her first or anything. Because he thought that was mean. So he's a nice bad ass. He did however call me a witch the next day and tell me that I was probably gonna get burned at the stake or something. But they totally don't do that anymore. Right?? RIGHT???!



  1. Spot, I'm not sure if it means anything or not but a shitload of villagers just walked past my house with pitchforks and torches. Looked like they might be headed your way! LOL

  2. Oh f*ck!! Not again!! Do you know how hard it is to outrun those freakin villagers?! LMAO. Thanks Mark!


  3. Oh, Spidey. We've gotta think of a catchier name for you, for starters.

    What a gift, tho...and you're're gonna piss ppl off if you keep telling them things before they tell you, so just act surprised.

    Did I tell you I'm winning the Miss America Pageant this January? Yeah, I figured what the hell...the bling of the crown will go nicely with my hair....

  4. Oh my. Spot - you are sssso disciplined! I think I would be a beddy, beddy bahd girl if I had your powers. I would probably have a red phone, a direct line to the Daily Planet -
    I did freak my family out once, though, when my pregnant sister in law informed us that they had picked a baby boy name but decided not to tell us what it was. Everyone speculated but I nailed it and that really creeped my ol' SIL right out. (they already had a Samuel so I figured it would be Benjamin. And it was! But why did I know that? Those aren't typical doubles
    names like Hewie and Dewie or One-ie and Two-ie.) Oh well. It only worked that once and then I lost the power somewhere on the way to the
    racetrack... Go figure.
    But keep up the good work All Powerful Mama - and please keep us posted on Spot's Psychic Adventures!

  5. If your "Weird" than I'm "Wierd". Earlier this summer I told my mother that my sister was pregnant again. My sister and I live 2 hours apart and I haven't seen her or talked to her in months.

    Yup, she's due in January.

  6. Kathryn~ OMG!!! You're going to be Miss America?? I'm sooo suprised! No, really, I am. My spidey senses tell me that might not happen. Lol! Yes a catchier name would be good. The villagers need something to chant as they chase me. =]

    Cynica~ Oh I'd be bad if I could do anything useful with it. ie: lottery tickets, stock tips, even the outcome of nascar races. No luck. I think there's a rule about personal gain or something. So I'm destined to be mediocre at best. Unless I start talking to ghosts and get a job on one of those "most haunted" shows. But as much as I love all things scary, I'm too afraid to try. What if they start talking and won't shut up?!
    Thank you for stopping by and leaving such a good comment!

    Heather~ that goes into my "weird" file. I've done the same thing with my sis. Congratulations, you're wacky too!


  7. Okay, I totally believe in your "spidey sense". I have a super power too...I have these crazy cat-like reflexes. I'm not kidding. Something will start falling out of my cupbard and I'll reach up and catch it behind my back. Crazy stuff like that. Freaks my husband out. (He's totally jealous.)