Friday, November 20, 2009

Please return to owner...

OMG!!! Where has my mind been lately?? Has anyone seen it? Maybe I should make posters~
Lost. One sort of used, slightly crazy, much bemuddled mind. Slightly higher IQ than average. Very imaginative. Runs good fair. If found please return to frazzled woman running around like a chicken with her head cut off. K? Thanks!

Can you believe that I forgot yesterday was "spread the word thursday"?? I mean, I made up the day people! And I still forgot it. Honestly, I think I'd lose my patootie if it wasn't fastened on tight. I'm really not sure I'm going to survive November. And even if I do there's December to get through. December, with all it's christmasey, present giving, cookie baking goodness. And my (gasp) 40th bday. You know, the birthday by which I thought I would have gotten something accomplished? You know back in high school when you peer forward into the future and you imagine your life at the ripe old age of 40? And you think Oh! All the things I will have done by then! I'm looking around now going 'what things??? what have I done?'. And so far, peeps, there's not a lot staring back at me from that list. I shall have to ponder this more closely in the coming month...

But as for the present day, the here and now, I'm feeling better. Although judging by the cough I have today, it may be short lived. I wonder if I can convince my doc to just give me a bag of IV antibiotics now in a pre-emptive strike against my lungs and their patheticness?? Probably not. I think he likes it when he has to stick my butt in the hospital. Not only does he make money but he gets to see me everyday. No, I'm not being vain. I just happen to know that I'm one of the few people who can make him laugh. Yeah, his bedside manner lacks a little. But he laughs at me. Mostly because he thinks I'm crazy but I'm totally cool with that. I'm sure he's not the only one who thinks that. In fact, there's probably like a club or something. My hubby may or may not be the president.

So yesterday I was feeling well enough to get out of bed and hang out in the family room. And my family stopped acting like I had Ebola and started getting near me again. So this is the conversation in the kitchen while I'm making Sean and I some soup for lunch (yes, I'm back to being the house bitch, I mean domestic goddess).

Sean- so will you watch Master and Commander with me?

Me- I don't know if I'm in the mood.

Sean- you always say that! And you're going to love it. Promise. It's boats and sailing. Probably one of the best sailing movies ever made. (Technically, it's not really about sailing, but he's obsessed with sailing).

Me- what about Pirates of the Carribean? That's the best boat movie ever made. And I do love me some Cap'n Jack.

Sean- Captain Joseph would make you Captain Jack cry like a schoolgirl.

Me- *whirling around to stare in open-mouthed awe* What??!! Oh the blashpemy! I cannot believe that one of my offspring would ever utter such a blatantly false and reprehensible thing about their future stepfather in my prescence!! (Because one day Johnny Depp is totally going to come to his senses and whisk me away from all of this. It's a well known fact at our house.)

Sean- It's true.

Me- that's fine. Whatever. Now Daddy Johnny is for sure not buying you a sailboat of your very own.

Sean- So will you watch it?

Me- yes. ok. but don't blame me if I fall asleep. Isn't it like ten hours long or something.

Sean- No. It's not quite that long. And you're going to love it.

Guess what?? I did love it! Now Russell Crowe's no Johnny but he's a damn fine actor. And you had the added attraction of Paul Bettany. It was really well done and I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it. Do be prepared for some violence and blood though, I mean it is set during the war between France and England after all. (Which one you say? I know because there have been like a million! But the Bonaparte one. You know, short dude all right hand tucked inside his vest like he's got a really bad case of heartburn? Totally in love with Josephine. Yeah, that one. And oh look! I totally turned this into a history lesson. You can thank me later.)

So then I tell Sean that the movie was actually based on a series of books written by Patrick O'Brian. So we go to and there are 20 books in the series!! That would take Sean, my reluctant reader, roughly 5 years to read. But we put them on the christmas list anyway. (Take note Santa)

Have a great weekend!


  1. Oh, the barf. Master and... was a great film but for the barf. (I'm a barf in film wimp.)
    Spot, Girlfriend, it'll be nice to meet you in person. On that day when Johnny finally comes and whisks you away, that'll be me waving to you from underneath his other arm. (Remember to pack light - we wouldn't waste his energies on transport.)

  2. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Funniest. Comment. Ever.

  3. Thanks for following me. I love love LOVE looking at my blog and seeing I have one more follower. YAY!!
    I love me some Johnny Depp too, but you can keep him. I love Alexander Skarsgård. He's my type of a guy. SIGH....that's my future 2nd hubby for sure

  4. For some reason, Johnny does NOTHING for me. I've never even seen those pirate movies to be honest.

  5. Okay. So, am I to understand that Sean did not even *blink* at the fact that johnny depp was gonna be his new daddy? What is wrong with this boy? I do believe you have somehow de-sensitized him to the more complex events that will take place in his future. With that said, I will just have to take the sailboat.

    My eyes glazed over when I realized you were talking about history and olden days and stuff. I perked up a bit when I thought you said the word "lager" but I was mistaken. I don't wanna learn stuff. I'm having enough trouble with the stuff I'm already supposed to know.


  6. Cat fight..MEOW..HISS..SCRATCH!!

    I've been in LOVE with Johnny Depp since 21 Jump Street! Posters on my wall and lipstick kisses all over his face. He just don't know it and apperently nither did you, BUT you do now! LOLOLOL!!

    I really liked the history lesson. I liked the movie, but it was very graphic with the blood.

  7. I enjoyed the movie as well. And thanks for the history lesson Spot...I'm like 22% smarter now, cool! Hey I just read a really good sailing book called "Left For Dead" by Nick Ward. Sean would love it I bet. True story about some of the events during the 1979 Fastnet Race. Possibly the very best sailing books ever were written by Tristan Jones. Very entertaining I read them over and over. Johnny Depp...pfft. LOL

  8. Okay, Spot - I'm gonna jump over Johnny Depp ... perhaps put a pin in him for later rowrrr.

    I'm going to latch onto the part of this post that really caught my attention. Your comments about turning 40 next month and your accomplishments (or lack thereof)to date. (I turned 37 yesterday ... this is a fresh thought in my mind)

    Obviously, I do not know you outside what you have shown all of us on this page. Having said that, as far as accomplishment goes - how about creating, birthing, raising, loving, schooling and a myriad of other highly important tasks your three biological and (gosh I'm not even sure how many) non-biological charges? Not to mention raising one husband.

    I sit in awe of you - on a regular basis. And now you are writing a fricken book??? Suh-weet Jesus, girl!!! You are a rock star!!

    At least to me ... for what that is worth.

  9. Sounds like Santa will need another sleigh if he's bringing 20 *20??* books this Crimbo lol Thanks fo rthe history lesson *you did say I'd thank you for it later and there's no time like the present* :)

  10. Cynica~ All I can say is poor Johnny, he has no idea what he's getting himself into. He will have his hands full with us sisterchick!

    C~ Thanks for reading and commenting!

    b*a~ You are so welcome! And it looks like we all have our 2nd hubbies picked out! Now what to do with the old ones??

    WW~ I will totally forgive your blasphemy this time...but I would really recommend the movies. They're very fun!

    K~ Um. But I made the history all fun and stuff!! Because that's how I roll. Please pay attention next time. Geez. You do not want a detention. Yeah, I dunno about Sean. It's like he doesn't believe me or something. Kids!

    Heather~ Oh my. If we add you to Johnny's roll call, he's definitely going to have those hands full. Maybe we can all live together like those polygamist cults. That would be awesome, because it sounds like you clean way more than I do. And can you bring all those xmas decorations because they sound pretty!Mmmmk?

    Mark~ Woot woot! Someone paid attention in class. My job here is done! Haha. Thanks for the book suggestions! I will definately look for them. Anything to get him to read more. And Johnny has nothing on you dear. But since you are happy with your lovely wife, we've all taken you off our lists.

    Danica~ It looks like we are all sharing Johnny, so just come on over and join the crowd. Thank you very much for you insanely kind comments. I do count my mothering as an accomplishment. I just thought I'd have more time to you know promote world peace or win the pullitzer prize or at least get a Newbury. Or an Oscar. I aspired large as a teenager. =]

    Smiley~thanks for the thanks Smiley. And I have it on good authority that Santa is feeling the recession so there probably won't be 20 books. Lol.


  11. Have to watch that movie now! Happy upcoming birthday. I'm 40 in December too and what exactly happened in, and to, the last twenty years?? Beats me!

  12. I loved that are so right about Russell Crowe. He would make a fine step-daddy too. I mean, just in case...

    I'm happy to have found your blog (through Kathryn's). It was your comment today that made me laugh!

  13. Tina~ I know, right?? What day is your birthday?? Mine's the 15th.

    DfG~ Thanks for reading, commenting and joining! Hopefully, you won't be sorry!