Friday, April 16, 2010

Vampires, cotton hoodies & holy water...

Good Morning! Well, good almost afternoon but whatever. So I have a few things to discuss first before I get to the regularly scheduled (as if!) blog. First off...Brite!! I really like your blog and have not been ignoring you, but every single time I go to your blog, my window says that it cannot display it, gives me an error message and that is that. So I'm not commenting because apparently goblins are eating your blog. That's probably not the technical definition of the problem, but really, that's what's happening. I don't know if anyone else is having this problem, if it's your goblins or mine, but someone needs to fix it because I know that I am missing some funny witty stuff.

Also, look quickly and be quiet lest we scare them...but have you noticed that I now have 51 followers? I know right?! I'm surprised too. That means in the last week, two more people have been lured to the insanity which abounds in my blog. I'm like the pied piper of crazy. No, that's the Bloggess for sure. Maybe I'm the little kazoo girl of crazy. Yeah, that's probably more like it.

Now, today I have to go to the grocery store. Why? Because we are out of important things like sugar and milk. And hubby threatened to divorce me last night. Over the sugar, not the milk. Because heaven forbid the man can't make Kool-aid (I kid you not) and has to drink (gasp!) water. What is he 10? Yep. And yes, you're absolutely right, the Doctor did tell me to stay off my knee. But we have to eat. And you didn't really think anyone else was going to volunteer to do the grocery shopping did you?? Good, because if you had, I'd be worried about you. Sean says I should get one of those Rascals, you know the motorized shopping chairs, and ride it through the store. But I'm pretty sure that would result in injured pedestrians, damaged displays and lawsuits. So no, I will be hobbling around the stores today, gripping my cart fiercely. And Sean is going with to lift the heavy things.

So last night was supposed to be one of my nights where everyone else is gone. Lu went off to Iowa because Dexter is in a play so she's spending the weekend up there. If it's a Thursday night, Sean has Civil Air Patrol. And well, it's that time of year where hubby doesn't come in from working til dark, and sometimes later. But through a snafu, Sean ended up home. So we watched Flash Forward (one of our current addictions) on the big screen in the family room. Then we watched some Animal Planet and finally we both decided to get ready for bed. But before we could exit the couch, another show started. It was one neither of us had seen before called Lost Tapes. And it was about...Vampires!!! Woot woot. We love us some vampires. As long as they don't sparkle.

Well, we watched the show (which was kind of hokey) but about half way through I started questioning~

Me: Why is that thing all hairy? I thought they were vampires not werewolves!

Sean: Whose to say vampires aren't hairy?

Me: Duh. Everyone knows they aren't. Those things look more like rat people than vampires. And what the heck are they doing in the daylight? That's sunlight coming through those windows! They should be scared.

Sean: Maybe sunlight doesn't really affect vampires. I mean it's just a myth like crosses.

Me: What the hell is wrong with you?! Of course sunlight affects them. And crosses and holy water.

Sean: You're not religious so why would you think that crosses and holy water affect them?

Me: Because vampires believe they do. That's why. It's all about belief. Next you'll be saying that cotton hoodies don't work either.

Sean: Oh hell, there you go with the cotton hoodies.

Me: Cotton is God's fabric Sean. It totally protects you. And everyone knows that a super soaker filled with holy water is the ultimate protection. It works on demons too, just so you know.

Sean: How exactly do you know this?

Me: Because in the book I just finished (Summer of Night by Dan Simmons. Excellent and very scary), the boys used holy water and the host to fight the demons. At first, then they used gasoline and fire.

Sean: I still think a Glock would solve everything.

Me: Well, they did use guns to fight the humans that were being controlled. It was very complicated.

Sean: Wait. By host you mean those wafers from communion?

Me: Yep. Hey!! Remember that disk shooting gun I got you at Easter?

Sean: You got that for Dexter. I got an airplane launcher.

Me: Whatever. I wonder if you could load it with wafers and shoot them at vampires? Brilliant!

Sean: I don't know. It wasn't very accurate.

Me: You're right. I'd probably get frustrated and throw the whole damn thing at them.

Sean: Anyway, all your religious paraphernalia won't save you. You need a Glock.

Me: You know what? When you're being attacked by a vampire and I'm holding a super soaker full of holy're going to have to beg, because I'm not saving you until you say "You were totally right Mom!". Just saying...

Sean: *eye roll*

Hoodies and Super Soakers to all,


  1. LOVE IT!

    I vote for the super soaker full of holy water, just so ya know! A Glock would be useless in a vampire fight! Unless of course you have wooden bullets and goos enough aim to hit the heart...I'm just sayin'!

    P.S. I like sparkly vampires. I also have a tween daughter so I might have been sucked into that by her.

    Yea, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  2. "We love us some vampires. As long as they don't sparkle."

    ANOTHER reason I love you forever, Spot.

  3. You are the Peid Piper of Crazy ...

    We love us some Spot ...


  4. I'm with Sean, you should get the Rascal little scooter and drive it like you're in a bumper car. Although you may run into the problem of others not having one and hurting their legs. But, it's there fault for not having one.

    I agree with you about cotton. It is God's fabric or a gift from God - the best thing EVER....

  5. The conversations you and Sean have totally crack me up. I really think you should've rode in one of those motorized carts and let Sean video it. Or You could have had him hoist you into the shopping cart and wheeled you around, now that would've been funny!

  6. Not like anybody else was going to get the groceries..I know how ya feel. Oh about the sugar and kool-aid, that is soo my hubby. But he would die of thirst before he broke down and drank water!

    I'm with you about the holy water, a glock wouldn't do much good when they would just heal and get right back up!

  7. Spot, you rock :D
    I really want a super soaker full of holy water now ^_^

  8. Now, a few years ago I had a badly twisted ankle and ended up in one of those motorized Rascals at the grocery store....and enjoyed it so much that...well, I may have faked the ankle-hurting thing even later.

  9. I did not know the magical properties of cotton hoodies. Thank you for the information.

  10. I would love to be a fly on the wall in your house one day and just listen to the converstaions. Of course I'd probably fall off said wall from laughing too hard and shake myself loose!

  11. "Cotton is God's fabric, Sean." Now that is a mother talking some sense! Loved it. Cotton is the best. Well, maybe organic cotton if I can be so specific. Love the logic convos you have with your boy. And hope your knee is improving!

  12. Steph~ I didn't mean I don't like the Twilight books. I did read them, and enjoyed them. I'm just a huge Jacob fan!!

    UnA~ I heart you back Mckenzie!

    Dani~ I'll take that as a compliment! I'm trying to stay off it...

    LMB~ I just couldn't do the Rascal. Too chicken. Or maybe too vain. One of those anyway.

    Suzicate~ He did suggest I ride in the cart...but I ixnayed that idea too.

    Heather~ exactly my point!! Now, if it was werewolves on the other hand...

    DorkVader~ Thanks! And who doesn't really? Unless they have wafer shooting guns...

    Jerry~ Hahaha. I think a lot of folks 'fake it' in order to ride those things.

    Dave~ Your welcome! That's me, saving the world!

    Peg~ Or one of the cats would eat you. They don't like flies.

    DfG~ Someone has to talk sense to that silly boy!


  13. Ha! And now you're at 52 followers! Woot, woot!
    If we're attacked by ANYTHING, I'm standing right next to you, sweetie. Hands DOWN.

  14. That's hilarious! I can't get enough of your conversations with Sean. teeheehee

  15. Kathryn~ I'll save you a seat! Just get here fast.

    C~ Thanks. I'm going to miss him when he grows up.