So on to the funny stuff...Sean and I were on our way to town the other day~
Me: (I'm driving, he's riding shotgun) You know what makes me happy?
Me: Oh yeah they do! But that's not what I had in mind.
Sean: Fountain Cokes.
Me: Oh gosh yes! But again, not what I was going for.
Sean: A really good scary movie?
Me: Oh definitely. *silence* Sorry, I got distracted.
Sean: A new book, lazy Sundays, vodka?
Me: Wow. I'm really easy to please, aren't I?
Sean: Yes. And distract. But do go on...
Me: Anyway, I was going to say air conditioning.
Sean: that does make you happy.
Me: I know right?! I'm so cranky when I'm hot! Know what my car (yes, the one we're riding in) doesn't have?
Sean: Air conditioning.
Me: Bingo. Know why?
Sean: Because you trusted Dad & Porky to fix something.
Me: Well, to be fair, Porky does have a degree in fixing engines. But yes, that's why. But the reason I trusted them to fix it is because I don't have any extra money. If I had a lot of extra money, I would just take it to a different shop and pay them to fix it because then I'd be guaranteed it was fixed. Otherwise I could take it back and demand that they fix it and presto! It's fixed. So basically, the point of this conversation, in case I lost you with my logic, is money. And how we need more.
Sean: Oddly enough, I was following your train of thought. So do you have a plan to get this money?
Me: Um. No. But I'm working on it. I mean I'm doing the freelance gig, but I'm definitely not going to get rich anytime soon. And because I'm doing the freelancing, I have less time for the fiction, so publishing a bestseller, that will then be optioned for a blockbuster movie, is maybe going to take a while. I need some more immediate cash. I got this email from this guy about this new business venture and the initial investment is pretty low and you get it back relatively quickly.
Sean: Is it legal?
Me: Um. I'm not sure. It looks like a pyramid marketing scheme to me. But there was a video on the website about how it wasn't a pyramid marketing scheme.
Sean: Uh huh. Well that makes it legit. NOT! Do you really think they'd tell you it was an illegal pyramid marketing scheme?
Sean: Of course not genius.
Me: Well, I don't know. Lu watched it too and said she'd sign up. And then I only have to get two more people... and I had my cynical New York friend check it out.
Sean: Hold up! You seriously took Lu's opinion into consideration? Have you lost your mind? Lu! She thinks the world spins faster when the wind blows. Not a reliable source. What did your friend say?
Me: *sigh* that she thought it looked to good to be true. I already knew it did. But I was supposed to start making $4000 dollars a month the first month. That's a lot of money. You know what we could do with that kind of extra money?
Sean: get the air conditioning fixed?
Me: Buy a new car. And go on vacation. Like every month.
Sean: Hmm. That would hamper my job schedule. Wait. If you were making that much money would I still have to get a job?
Me: Of course you would, you slacker. Geez. You owe me money. But just until you were 18, then I'd sign you up to make thousands of dollars a month too.
Sean: I think this is a bad idea. How do you know they aren't the mob?
Me: Why would they be the mob??
Sean: Because the mob has their hands in everything. Maybe they are the mob and the money is from killing people.
Me: Um. Well. If I didn't know that's what it was from I don't think I can be held responsible. So it's okay.
Sean: Nah, I'm going to stick to my plan...
Me: What's your plan?
Sean: I'm going to take over Slovakia. Then I'll have my own country.
Me: Why Slovakia?
Sean: Because it's small and no one really knows much about it. Then if I need more room, I'll annex the Czeck Republic.
Me: Um. It takes money to run a country. Where are you going to get that from?
Sean: I'm building weapons factories. We're going to become the world's largest manufactures of weapons.
Me: Mmmm. I don't know about this plan...
Sean: Doesn't matter...you're part of the mob, I'm not letting you in my country.
Me: But can I buy weapons?
Sean: Of course, if you have the money.
To be continued...
Happy Lazy Sunday,