So, last night I got an email from Kathryn at From The Inside...Out. It's okay, go check her out, I'll wait. *tapping foot, counting to ten* Back? Awesome. Moving on...anyway, it said to call her because she had too much to say to type or text. So I headed in to hubby's office to use his phone. I figured Kathryn was calling for one of three things...a.) Medical advice. Because I've got those mad diagnostician skills I told you about. or b.) Parenting advice. Because I'm radically good at parenting. Everyone knows that. Again because I told them. Or c.) A good quote. Because I've become distinctly quotable thanks to Suzicate and unabridged girl. In truth, it was none of the above. It was more in the way of opportunity and information because she's become a mentor to me. Which I appreciate to no end. And yeah, we also just chatted because, hey, we're girls, that's how we roll.
Anyway, it ended up being a long conversation because, much like my blog, I tend to go off on tangents and wacky sidebars. Hubby came in and stood by his desk for a minute or two, until I shooed him away (yes, I shooed him out of his office. I gave him my "I'm very busy and your way close to me yelling" glare). And then Sean drifted in and I turned my back to him in my best "I'm very busy and so I'm ignoring you" signal. He left. Then Lu got home from work. Late. But she brought donuts so that was cool. The thing is...it was past dinnertime. Way past dinnertime. And since it had been before dinnertime when I started talking, my natives were getting restless. I overheard this conversation in the kitchen, outside the office door.
Lu: where's dinner?
Sean: She hasn't made it. She's been on that phone for like 3 hours!*as if! It was more like 1 & 1/2!*
Lu: Who's she talking to?
Sean: We don't even know but we're starving!!
How is it that it never occurred to anyone that they could start dinner on their own?? Lu was brave and came into the office. Since I'd overheard the convo, I started talking before she even opened her mouth~
Me: I'm talking to Kathryn from New York. It's about blog stuff. It's important. Can you just make some Spaghettio's or something? Please?
And off Lu went. About the same time, Kathryn's son Taylor came to her looking for dinner. My gosh, do they have an internal timer or something?? So we agreed to end our convo for the night. I made it into the kitchen in time to take over the grilled cheese sandwich making that was accompanying said Spaghettios. As this situation arose because I cook dinner every night, I'm pretty sure that my family is spoiled.
Anyway, one of the questions Kathryn asked me really made me think. Like all night long. Even though it was GhostHunter's night and I was busy watching Jason & Grant hunt ghosts, it was in the back of my head. The question was easy..."what do I want out of my blog"? But the answer is more difficult.
I started the blog for me. Kind of an online diary. I kept it secret at first from friends and family. I had the blog with my sister that they all read. This one, I wanted to be more about me. I wanted to be able to say what I felt without the possibility of hurting anyone's feelings or worrying anyone. I wanted to be able to break down, if that's what I needed to do. But somewhere along the way it became more for entertainment. I discovered that I liked being funny more than being serious. Oh, I know, every so often I still throw in serious, because you can't be funny 24/7. Not and be sincere as well. Because sometimes, life just isn't funny. As I gained readers and commenters and started following other blogs, I became part of a community. I began to care very much about my fellow bloggers. I even call many of them friends. And the blog became me talking to those friends. Sharing the insanity I call my life, and also anything I need to get off my mind.
And the other purpose that serves is that I'm writing. Everyday. Because writing is my passion. And my husband pointed out that I spend way more time writing my blog and commenting others than I do on my fiction writing. And he's right. The blog comes first and it takes roughly 4 hours a day to write, edit, post and then read & comment others. Four hours I could be writing fiction. (Or cleaning my house. Hahaha. Just kidding. That's not happening!!) But it doesn't matter. The truth is I do need to put more time and effort into the fiction writing, because maybe someday, that will help pay the bills. But the blog will still be. Why? Because it's gratifying. It's validating. It's what gives me the courage to write the fiction. And hopefully it will give me the courage to start submitting. And it gives me practice at writing. And practice makes perfect, or at least better.
So, what do I want from my blog? I want to entertain. I want to connect. I want to touch other people (no, not in an inappropriate way!). If I can make some money off of it? Well, hell yeah! Who doesn't need some extra cash nowdays?? But I don't expect it to make me famous. And if, at some wondrous magical point in the future, I get famous? This blog is still going to happen. Because this blog is the first thing I've done in a long time, that's just for me. It's my vice. And it's a good vice. Because it's cheap and not illegal. And I don't feel hungover in the morning. So, in essence, I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Okay, so we both know, that I'd probably keep writing even if you stopped reading, but it would be a hell of lot less fun!! And I'd probably get all depressed and start writing poetry about death and NO ONE wants me to go there...
air kisses to the people who help keep me going,
What do you want from your blog?