How could you do this to me? Really? Really?!! I can't believe you even tried to play this game with me. We've been down this road before and it ended badly. But I gave you a second chance. I put the past behind me and we started anew. I thought you'd changed. I really believed in happy endings. I believed in you. And yet, it's come to this. Words cannot express how much you've let me down.
Wasn't I a faithful lover? You know I was. I visited you every time I was in town. Every. Damn. Time. Why? Because I loved you. I spent hours with you...walking up and down the aisles...caressing you shelves, lovingly touching the movies, reading aloud the synopsis. Remember that time, in the horror aisle, when I shouted in unadulterated joy at finding a copy of an obscure horror classic? Remember "Dead and Breakfast"? I guess at least, we'll always have that...
And yes, I know sometimes I left your embrace to visit Library. But it wasn't the same. My love for the two of you is so different. One could not possibly detract from the other. In fact, my love for Library only enhanced my love for you. You shared so many of the same stories.
What really gets me, what cuts me to the very core of my being, is that I introduced you to my children! And they too fell for you. But you've been changing lately, and I could see the writing on the wall. But yet, I persisted in believing in you. I turned away from the lure of the Red Box and stayed true to you. And then this!! How dare you impose a dollar a day fee for every day I'm late bringing back a rental?? WTH?? You know I live far from you. You know I don't intentionally keep the movies longer. You know me!! I thought our relationship was built on trust? But now you've thrown it all away! And for what??! Greed?? Love of the green backed whore??
Well this is it buster. I won't take it!! I'm not going to melt into a hott mess. No. I'm leaving you. Keep your "four nights for four dollars" attitude and play that game with someone else! And an extra dollar for every day over charged to my credit card? Puh-lease! No one else treats me that badly.
I'll get over you. Don't you worry about me. Red Box has been calling my name for months now. And Netflix? Oh yeah I've had my eye on him too. Don't you worry baby, I'll bounce back. But will you??
Take your new rental policy and shove it.