How could you do this to me? Really? Really?!! I can't believe you even tried to play this game with me. We've been down this road before and it ended badly. But I gave you a second chance. I put the past behind me and we started anew. I thought you'd changed. I really believed in happy endings. I believed in you. And yet, it's come to this. Words cannot express how much you've let me down.
Wasn't I a faithful lover? You know I was. I visited you every time I was in town. Every. Damn. Time. Why? Because I loved you. I spent hours with you...walking up and down the aisles...caressing you shelves, lovingly touching the movies, reading aloud the synopsis. Remember that time, in the horror aisle, when I shouted in unadulterated joy at finding a copy of an obscure horror classic? Remember "Dead and Breakfast"? I guess at least, we'll always have that...
And yes, I know sometimes I left your embrace to visit Library. But it wasn't the same. My love for the two of you is so different. One could not possibly detract from the other. In fact, my love for Library only enhanced my love for you. You shared so many of the same stories.
What really gets me, what cuts me to the very core of my being, is that I introduced you to my children! And they too fell for you. But you've been changing lately, and I could see the writing on the wall. But yet, I persisted in believing in you. I turned away from the lure of the Red Box and stayed true to you. And then this!! How dare you impose a dollar a day fee for every day I'm late bringing back a rental?? WTH?? You know I live far from you. You know I don't intentionally keep the movies longer. You know me!! I thought our relationship was built on trust? But now you've thrown it all away! And for what??! Greed?? Love of the green backed whore??
Well this is it buster. I won't take it!! I'm not going to melt into a hott mess. No. I'm leaving you. Keep your "four nights for four dollars" attitude and play that game with someone else! And an extra dollar for every day over charged to my credit card? Puh-lease! No one else treats me that badly.
I'll get over you. Don't you worry about me. Red Box has been calling my name for months now. And Netflix? Oh yeah I've had my eye on him too. Don't you worry baby, I'll bounce back. But will you??
Take your new rental policy and shove it.
Love, Me
I don't know what the new blockbuster rule are... but we ditched them a couple of years ago when we got Uverse and video on demand... plus HBO... so... we have as many movies as we ever want to see...
ReplyDeleteWow they still have the $1 day overdue fee? In some cases, if a week late, you could own the film through Columbia House.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think they'd keep in-line with Red Box and NetFlix.
Dorks...
... note to self: never ... ahem, 'scuse me ... NEVER be disloyal to Spot ... nuh-uh, not EVAH!!!
ReplyDelete:) Blockbuster's loss - I think you were their last 'VIP' customer.
Don't get me started on BlockBuster!!!!!! Unfortunatley, they monpolize the area. The little red box called me and has yet to have anything I want available. Pay Per View and I have recently develped a relationship!
ReplyDeleteI. Heart. You.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh! And I hate them, too, for the same reason.
This is why I have Netflix.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have the option of Netflix so I have to rent. My local joint has no late fees. They're restocking fees. What's really awesome is if your kids happen to put one of the movies on a shelf thinking that it's theirs (as they don't call you and list the movies that are late, they just tell you that movies are late) the next notice you get is from a collection agency. They don't even tell you you have movies overdue when you rent others. But I refuse to go to Blockbuster.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand what Blockbuster is doing this either. Fortunately I learned to break away from that relationship the moment it started to get rocky. I didn't give it a second chance, maybe that's why your heart is bigger. But I'm glad you're seeing the light. I don't do either. Most of the time I got to the theater or i see if they have the movie on youtube.... but I usually see movies on demand....just call me spoiled. =P
ReplyDeleteYou give 'em hell, sweetie!
ReplyDeleteBlockbuster's had their share of troubles....including several lawsuits for overcharging people and not checking in returns to that slit-thingie that you use after-hours...
It was bound to come to this.
You're better without him! You're WAY too good for him! He doesn't deserve you!!!
They had a period where they eliminated late fees altogether, remember? The would charge you the price of the movie but only after it was a week past the due date, then if you returned it they would only charge you a couple of dollars for restocking. They're in bad shape financially though. I canceled my Blockbuster membership last month when our nearest store went out of business. The next store isn't far, but it's in a higher traffic area and just not convenient, so I switched to Netflix. I like it so far, plus you can download certain movies and watch them directly on your computer, which is a nice alternative when the kids are monopolizing the big screen. How many times can I watch Kung Fu Panda, seriously? Poor Blockbuster. I do miss stopping by and browsing the aisles. Sniffle sniffle. So was Dead and Breakfast any good, I almost bought it
ReplyDeleteAhh, stickin it to the man! way to go Spot! I hate em too. Used my B-Buster like one time cause they had a movie that the other guys didnt have. Cost me like 4 bucks for one day...stupid. I have had hookers cheaper than that.
ReplyDeleteI very seldom use blockbuster anymore. We started doing the Blockbuster by mail several years ago because you could still take them back to the store and exchange for a renal there and then they kept reducing that until they stopped it and we just quit them!
ReplyDeleteI'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you....
ReplyDeleteImagine Air Supply blaring in the background. You are too good for them girl! They did you a favor. :-)
Ha! I really loved the way u addressed this. Very creative. What a fun post!
ReplyDeleteGo with Netflix! We did and I tell ya, life has been so much better ever since and cheaper too. I continually tell hubby..why did we waste so much time with the video store, rediculous!
ReplyDelete