Thursday, September 2, 2010

The one where I have appendicitis in my ovary and other weird shit

Why is it that on any given day I can be completely in love with some doctors (yes, Lu and I have decided to leave Mike and Luke and become part of Dr. Saeed's harem. No, I don't know if he has an actual harem, but we aren't afraid to start one.) and completely disgusted by other doctors? Not to mention nurses...

First, Lu's appointments went well yesterday. She got the okay to leave the house and appear in public sans mask. Which is really good, because yesterday she was extremely pissy about having to wear one and I had to deliver (for roughly the 360th time) the lecture on accepting things gracefully versus acting like a spoiled five year old. But since she's currently on so many antibiotics and has more to take once she finishes those, I'm pretty sure she has like an invisible electrified germ fence around her. The unfortunate news is that they have to wait til early November to do most of the immunological testing since she had IVIG infusions the beginning of August. They said she has 3000 other peoples antibodies running through her system now. And yet she still managed to get two different kinds of pneumonia and a kidney infection. Unbelievable. But she feels pretty good and is hoping the surgeon will let her go back to work at her next appointment. She did take back over the laundry which makes my knee happy.

So lets move on to the bizarre portion of this post. For those of you who have been reading from the beginning (thank you Danica!) or those of you who have read the archived posts, when I started this blog I was about to have surgery to remove my right ovary and the cyst that had taken it over. The surgery was a comedy of errors but the cyst was benign and I slowly healed up. Lately however, I've been having some pain in the exact area where the cyst used to be. It feels exactly like it did when I had the cyst. So I called the doctor's office.

Me: Um. Yeah. I had my right ovary removed last August due to a huge cyst. But now I'm having pain in the exact same place and it feels like it did when I had the cyst.

Nurse: Well you can't have pain in an ovary you don't have.

Me: (duh) well I didn't say it was the ovary, it's just in that vicinity.

Nurse: How long have you been having the pain?

Me: Off and on for the last couple of months but more so the last two days.

Nurse: What are you taking for pain?

Me: Nothing. (because I'm not a whiny little b*tch)

Nurse: Well are you sure they took out your ovary?

Me: Well, if they didn't I'm gonna be really pissed off since that's the whole reason they split me open!

Nurse: Well it's probably not gynecological.

Me: Um. Couldn't it be something at the surgical site? Doesn't she want to take a look?

Nurse: *huge exasperated sigh* I'll talk to the doctor and call you back.

So the next day, she calls back~

Nurse: The doctor says to take Tylenol or Motrin for pain.

Me: Um. Okay. (shouldn't we figure out why I'm in pain first?)

Nurse: and if you start to run a fever it might be appendicitis so you should call your regular doctor.

Me: That's it?

Nurse: Yes.

Really?! I almost asked if I was being punked!! Who has appendix pain in their right lower quadrant?! Do they think my appendix shifted in to fill the empty space left by my ovary? Or is the appendicitis in my non existent ovary?? Bear in mind this was the doctor who only did an ultrasound on the ovary after I put my foot down about it. I'm so finding a new doctor, if the ovarian appendicitis doesn't kill me first.

And in other news, Sean withdrew from College. A week after classes started he came to me with a plan. He said he was miserable every minute of class (which I thought he might be) and that he was too young to be miserable (which he knew I'd agree with). So he withdrew and is planning to get a job or two and save all year. Next year he wants to go to three different high adventure boy scout camps. He'd go on the OA work program so he works there for half the time and then gets to play. The prices aren't bad and I'm all for seeing some sights and having some fun before you settle down. He'd get to go to the mountains in West Virginia, the Florida Keys and Philmont in the New Mexico mountains. So he's been busy filling out applications. One he filled out was for Bonkers, which is our towns version of Discovery Zone or Gymbaree.

Me: You just want to work there so you can check out all the hot single moms.

Sean: Yep. Nothing says sexy like a diaper bag.

I'm hoping he doesn't mean that.

Well, I'm off. Mike has his appointment today with the orthopedist to go over his shoulder MRI. Then we're off to his physical therapy and dinner at a Mexican restaurant I've never been to. I guess that's worth having to kill an hour while he's being tortured.



  1. "nothing says sexy like a diaper bag"? I vote that Sean needs to be a comedy writer! He is freakin' hilarious!

    On the medical front, I get twinges like that but I still have my ovary (and cyst - I assume). I think I'd get a second opinion.

  2. Hey... there's only ONE thing men know almost for sure about a woman with a diaper bag, and that one thing is something a young man of Sean's age would be VERY interested in.

  3. I hope you figure out your ovary situation soon, my dear!

  4. snort!

    Do they think it shifted into the empty spave ... bah ha ha ... so funny.

    Seriously, girl THA HELL?

    Get a new doc. Don't leave Mike and cut Lu some slack. She's been taking this like a trooper based on what you've been telling us.

    Oh and ... it's my pleasure to stick around ... I'd hang around your house, too - if only I was closer. ;)

  5. first of all, the apple quite certainly did not fall far from the apple tree...your son is hilarious. second, ovarian appendicitis...I think you might make the medical journals for that one. i don't know how you didn't tell the dr's office to take a flying leap. (i cleaned that up for you) crazy stuff.
    glad to hear Lu is mending. one of these days everyone in your whole family is going to be well! at the SAME time!! (i just know it.)

  6. I get pain where I had one of my ovaries removed, my doc takes me it is "probably" my colon, but nothing to be alarmed about...guess we can be hospital roomies when they care enough to find out what it really is! Sean is so funny! Hope the Mexican food was delish!

  7. Perhaps if you told them your ovary grew back and has latched its self onto your appendix they would see you sooner. I concur- you need yourself a new Doc!
    Nice to see you back Spot!

  8. I had my ovary out also and also had the question of wether or not they had actually taken it out. It's crazy the questions they ask! Mine turned out to be a kidney stone, hurting me in that spot, weird.

    Still hoping all goes well with Lulu.

  9. could be phantom ovary pain. Like if they remove a limb but it sometimes itches or something. (My trees have that) The hell do I know about ovaries? overi? In any case I do know about hot moms at gymboree type places and can share the knowledge that the phrase "Hey mother, want another?" almost never works! Glad Lu is feeling better and doesn't have to put her lipstick on her face mask.(I used to draw noses and mouths on the masks we had to wear while Jake was sick)