Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Disenchanted...

I got a text today from Roxy, who reads my blog and it said~

"What's up slacker? No new blog in three days. I'm disappointed. Lol."

And she's totally right, I have been slacking. So I started asking myself why I was slacking? Usually, writing my blog is my favorite thing to do! And I did have a couple of valid excuses...

I wrote the last blog late on a Sunday night so I left it up Monday so that everyone would get a chance to see it. Yesterday I spent almost all day in town and by the time I got home all I did was fall asleep on the couch. And today...I had to get up and go to town early as well. And then I had to assist Sean with some online job applications. But still, I could have fit a blog in there somewhere. If I really dig deep...it comes down to being kind of annoyed with blogland. And yet, I didn't want to rant. My rants aren't funny. Some peoples are, but not mine. And yet, I feel the need to get this out.

First off, why does everyone blog? I know I started G & H because Hildi and I emailed a lot to keep in touch and they were pretty funny. So I thought "why not share"? And it was okay if we had no followers because mostly it was for us and our families. I started this blog when I was going through a difficult time and some of the first entries aren't funny at all. But the point was for me to get my feelings out. Then somewhere along the way, I started to get funny. And then I started to branch out and read other blogs and make comments. And then other people started to read my blog and comment. And that was awesome. I mean, really? Who doesn't like to get comments and see that more people are reading your blog? It's instant gratification and trust me, there is nothing better for a writer. It's validation. And I do enjoy seeing that follower number grow! Or having someone say "wow. I just found your blog and I really enjoyed it. I'm going to follow you now." Everyone wants that. But maybe for different reasons, I don't know.

Lately, blogland has been reminding me of high school. All about the popularity. I've seen bloggers do giveaways just to get more readers. Really? You want people to follow you because you bribed them?? Is that follower number really that important to you?? I'm talking about the giveaways that state "if you mention my blog on your blog and send readers my way, I'll enter you in my giveaway." Um. No thanks. In fact, if you do that, I don't give a crap how good you are, I'm not following you. I'm not even visiting your blog. And yeah, I know some of you are saying "but Spot! What if they're a really good writer??" They might be the best writer out there, but to me, they're doing it for the wrong reasons. And I want no part of it.

I'm stubborn, you say? Dang tootin!! Always have been. A bit of a snob? I won't deny it. Hates to follow the crowd? I will run the other direction. I don't read books because Oprah tells me to. I don't pick a candidate by which celebrity endorses them. I don't hang with the "cool kids" unless they have more going for them than trendy clothes and money. I could be wrong. I could have too much "rebel attitude". My dad always said I'd "cut off my nose to spite my face". Maybe. Maybe I just don't like being told what to do. Maybe I just don't want to follow the crowd. And maybe I don't want to read and follow your blog because you are a shameless self promoter. I want to discover your blog through a comment on someone else's that makes me laugh or think or I can relate to. Then I want to follow your blog because the content is good and holds my interest. Not because you told me to. Or someone else told me to because you begged them or bribed them. What happened to integrity? Is this really about who has the most followers??

I also don't mind discovering blogs because someone commented on mine so I took a look at theirs. Or if I'm on a blogsite I like and see and an interesting blog on their blogroll. I got an email today from a blogger who said he'd found my site through a comment I made on another site. Now he's a follower. Would I mind checking out his blog? Well of course I checked it out (and follwed). Because he wasn't bribing me or demanding me attention. I'm not above returning a favor.

Anyway, maybe this makes no sense to anyone but me. And maybe I'm just rebelling against the status quo. Maybe I missed the memo where this is a popularity contest and I'm just bitter because I'm not on the homecoming court. But to me this is about connecting with people. I've gotten to know alot of my followers and my frequent commenters and I consider them friends, not fans. I tune into their blogs because I care what's going on in their lives and I feel like they care about mine. And I love it when something I've said touches them or gives them a laugh for the day. Anyway, it took Angelia to restore my faith in blogland. She's offering a giveaway. But you don't have to pimp out her blog to enter. Just leave her a comment. And she's just doing it because she likes to give. That's the kind of person I want to be friends with and follow.

Thank you to the followers who found me through comments on other blogs. I'm unbelievably happy that you chose to stay. And I'm happy that I got to view your blogs too! And to those who have me on your blogrolls...thanks!! I'm honored. Truly.

Sorry if I offend anyone. No. I'm really not. I think that integrity is important. Thanks for letting me rant.

♥Spot

22 comments:

  1. I started blogging because I wanted to show people my writing. I love getting comments and new followers, it's always a thrill.

    But I have discovered the gem peeping out of the mire of the blog, I mean bog..I'm making friends. That's the best part of this.

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  2. I have been known to enter a giveaway, but if I have to do more than comment, I'm gone. I won't tweet about the giveaway or blog about it. However, I will acknowledge if I won something on my blog and send thank you notes via snail mail.

    I understand the popularity contest thing. I notice many people with many followers and then I go sing and lose followers (I'm doing out-of-tune because I like Jules).

    I have to admit I used to be bothered when I lost followers and now I'm like, okay, I write for me.

    Spot, if I do a giveaway of my bills does that mean you're going to stop following me? I mean NO ONE in blogland has done that and I think I gain a TON of new followers from it. LOL...NOT.

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  3. Oh to think the trouble I started! But I definately understand the rant. Ive checked out some other blogs and know someone who does a lot of giveaways and after I saw she tended to do that I stopped reading her stuff. All she was doing was trying to self promote and make herself look better. There was no writing involved anymore it just became the free stuff. To me it is a little tacky to up your followers that way. If I wrote a blog I would want people to read it because they enjoyied it not because I gave out free stuff.

    Which of course leads me to the reason I read you Spot. Not only do I enjoy your stories it also gives me a chance to catch up when we can't talk. And of course because you're an awesome writer and friend :)

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  4. I was about to ask if you wrote this before or after my post?? LOL!

    I think giveaways are fun (or can be) but yes it's irritating ALL the things you have to do. Irritating? Wait, I meant EXHAUSTING!! GAH!

    I am a member of SITS and I notice people pop on and leave the same comments on 200 blogs.

    Stopping by...SITS sent me and I'm glad they did!

    Same comment. Every damn time. Then I get them on MY BLOG again. SAME COMMENT. Seriously? That's ridiculous! And it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You want followers THAT bad? You must not really care about who is reading you.

    So, the difference with me is I REALLY care. I want to get to know people. I love reading about life. It's fascinating. My blog was started to contradict Jason's ex-wife. She blogged a bunch of SHIT about us (you know I don't cuss so THAT'S how bad it was). I wanted to prove blogging could be for GOOD not evil.

    I discovered so many good people like YOU and BOOSHY and MINDY. Heartfelt genuine people who care. What a turn around. It makes me very happy.

    Those who comment and run. And do giveaways for followers. They are MISSING it. There is so much more.

    Great post!

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  5. I can't remember how I first found your blog Spot dear, but I DO miss you when you've been away. As for the 'popularity contest' of blogland...I post stuff that amuses me and hope to amuse others. When people started following me I freaked out *What??!! Someone actually reads this shite???!!* and so now I tend to post with an 'audience' in mind, which has changed things.

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  6. oh i hear you sista! the blogs i enjoy tell me something about the person, the good bad and ugly. i find the funny-person-performing blogs really tiring. really that hilarious thing happened to you? it just feels like they are trying too hard.

    readers can spot authenticity a bloody mile away.

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  7. The thing that I hate are the "here I'm giving you this award! Now you have to give it to 5 people!"... uhh... yea I appreciate you think I'm funny, but I'm not here to be part of a pyramid scheme. Same thing for the blog memes where to you tag people... I mean I have no problems answering your questions or whatever, I just don't single other people out.

    I had another blog for a while and was pretty good about posting every day (or at least every work day) and I'd developed... well a decent sized following... I'd be disappointed if there weren't 10-15 comments on each entry. But it became a chore. And that's not what I wanted. Now I blog whenever I have a chance... about whatever is on my mind... sometimes it's a rant, sometimes it's a lamentation, sometimes it's just my perverted brain in hyperdrive. But it's me.

    But that's just me... YMMV.

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  8. So that's what a lot of the giveaway are about! I'm just stupid, I thought that maybe the blogs were product endorsed or something. I soooooo HATE clique, please tell me there are not cliques in blog world. And yes, Angelia is the sweetest. I've missed you the past few days, glad youre back...and it's always good to bitch sometimes...makes me feel better! I did it today!(and probably every day for the past several years!)

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  9. I can't remember how I found your blog but you're one of the few people I actively look for a new blog when I check my dashboard each day. Everyone else I'll wait a week or so and then read them all at the same time lol

    I blog for me, and the fact that I have a few followers who read and comment is just a big bonus. In a way I get to be more me on here, than I can be in real life, and I like it.

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  10. I agree that the best giveaways (and memes and awards and all that other stuff) don't require you to link to the original blogger's site. It shouldn't be about getting the links.

    I blog because I love to write and to make people laugh. I've met some of the greatest people blogging and discovered some truly wonderful blogs.

    You didn't blog in 3 days??? I go way longer than that! You just have to go with whatever feels right. No one should feel obligated to blog, in my opinion.

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  11. Ha! It really is a lot like high school. I love your blog because you're always honest, and you don't give a flying fart what people thing. Love you bunches, Spot!

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  12. I hear you on the giveaways..ugh.. I will subscribe to the odd meme or award, partly because they help get the creative flow going and they can be a fun way to tell people about yourself. But give aways..not on your life!

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  13. Seems we've all been a little absent.

    My excuse is that there are simply not enough hours in the day latelty...

    You raise many good points ... as per usual.

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  14. I have my disenchanted moments too sometimes.

    I write because it's satisfying to get my voice out there, more still because of the instant feedback and connections you make. Strangely enough I do obsess about numbers just because sometimes it seems painstaking to get new readers, and it kind of takes its toll on my self esteem. Then I just want to punch myself, because it isn't a popularity contest, I know, yet somewhere deep down I just want people to like me.

    Not enough to host the kinds of giveaways you talk about.

    Don't know if you've seen this yet:

    Blog with Integrity

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  15. I'm with you, honey. It shouldn't be a responsibility to blog...it's supposed to be FUN. A place to strut our stuff and not have any editor tearing it to shreds.

    The biggest pressure I want in Blogville should come from ME. I try to make ppl happy, but I've learned that you can't please everybody.

    So, I try to do the right thing by everyone...but I'm known to totally screw it up.

    I love your honesty and the way you not apologize for the way you feel....you shouldn't! You're a great writer and that's all that matters.

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  16. Okay, I feel like I just got spanked.

    I just recently (for the first time) put on my page a link to Kaylens page, because of a giveaway.
    I honestly didn't think she was hosting it for popularity. I thought maybe she would get more free products, for how ever many comments she got. I tought I was trying to help a gal, not get her more followers for popularity.

    First..I'm sorry.
    Second..I'm a little upset that I didn't think it through.
    Third..I'm soo sorry!

    I also only want followers, because they like or relate to what I have to say.

    I promise to never do it again!

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  17. What?We can have a popularity contest?Sign me up!Hahahahaha!There is just no way to keep your Blog World free of self-promoters, Oprah's, or dastardly attention hogs.As long as there are people like you and your followers, the true spirit of blogging shall prevail.Ok, where's my free stuff?

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  18. oh spot...is it over between us now? i passed on the link for the jimmychoo bag b/c it was a great item from a writer i enjoy so much and it required no work. giveaways don't offer free shit. they extract too much time and effort for the shot at said free item. in the time it takes to do all of that, i could have read 15 other blogs.

    i am with you mostly, in that i find people through the quality of their comments on the blogs of others. i am her eto share and connect. although i confess my offerings are minimal.

    are we still bffs?

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  19. Rant away. Your blog, your words. I love that you come to my blog often and comment and I am totally lax in commenting on yours but I'm always here. And I won't give anything away. Probably ever. I'm poor in money but rich in spirit and that's why I blog. :)

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  20. This blogging thing is a tricky little situation. I guess because I understand all reasons for doing it. Me, personally, am blogging to give me something to do, to allow me a platform to share my wacky life and an outlet to vent my many (and sometimes completely unfounded) grievances. Now, all of that being said, if I happen upon a blog with a really cool giveaway? I'll probably enter it. I'm fickle like that. Plus, I like free stuff. =)
    Mindy
    www.thesuburbanlife.com

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  21. Couldn't have said better Spot! Those give-a-ways drive me up the wall. I follow if I like the blog, and I expect people to do the same. Heck, when I started my blog, I expected to get like three followers, so it's not about the popularity.

    ....and now I'm just repeating what you said :P

    Amazing post! I relate so well :)

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  22. i forgot to let you know, that i can't stop laughing over your use of the expression "darn find a way to naturally put that to use ...but then it might replace the crude but favorite and angry "too fucking right!"

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