Friday, February 5, 2010

Burn, baby, burn.

So it's been a busy week. I've been to town three times this week, when normally I shoot for once. Tuesday was grocery shopping and dr. appt. Wednesday was job hunting with Sean. And Thursday was a dr appt for Lu and two medical tests for me and a job interview for Sean. Like I said, busy, not much fun and I'm exhausted. I'm also trying to get all the household things taken care of so I can leave for Myrtle Beach on Monday night. Where I plan to spend a week doing not a whole hell of a lot. Should cancel out the suckfest that was yesterday.

But Wednesday night, hubby had to burn down an old picnic shelter. They are making room for a new archery range to go in that spot and the old shelter had to go. He'd already dropped the roof, so basically it was the roof on top of the concrete slab with brush between and brush piled on top. So he texts me at 5:30 "Are you coming down to watch? We're ready." Um. Not really what I wanted to do, I mean it's really cold out, gonna be dark soon, and I don't feel well. But in the interest of being supportive and since he obviously wanted me too, I went. Couldn't talk Sean into it though. So I pull up and park on the side of the road and then walk out to the shelter. It's him and his volunteer F. Then some other people show up who wanted to come out and watch. So he lights it. There's no whoosh and it explodes in flame. I guess that's just in the movies. In fact, it's burning so slowly that I completely understand why the local fire department didn't see the need to be here. I'm bored. And thinking about the fact that I still have to make supper when I go in.

So I ask him "Is this it?". And he tells me no. Just to wait and eventually it'll get going really well. Then I tell him he should have reminded me to put long johns on because it's really cold. He assures me that soon the fire will be keeping me plenty warm. Yawn. Sure. But eventually one side catches really well and if you squat down and look through the rafters you can see the fire being sucked to this side. That was pretty awesome. And the next thing I know, it's really burning. And flames are shooting up in the sky. And I'm not cold. In fact, I've taken several steps back. And then some more because the front of my jeans are really hot. Now the fire is going in earnest and it is a sight to behold. I'm mesmerized. And then I remember that I'm scared of fire. Like really scared. Like I think it would be one of the most horrible ways to die ever. I think I might have died in a fire in a previous life. Probably I was burned at the stake. Then I think about this movie that I watched when I was younger called "The Legacy". And how this lady was standing by the fireplace and the fire leapt out and got her. I take several more steps backwards.

But honestly, the fire is beautiful. It is a wonder to behold. Looking at the burning rafters, it's almost like the flames are performing this intricate dance. They look like their moving in slow motion. It's almost hypnotic. And in places where it burns through the roof, the tar from the shingles catches and it rains down through the other flames. Little bright pieces of flame dripping down. Then I remember that hubby said we couldn't roast marshmallows over this fire because of the shingles. Not to mention, you'd need like a ten foot stick, because no way you're getting closer than that. So I find hubby.

Me: What about the shingles burning? Is that smoke dangerous?

Hubby: Well, I think it's okay as long as you don't go over and snort up a bunch of it.

Me: Really? Wow. Because that was totally my plan. Snort massive lungfuls of black poisonous smoke. Thanks for clearing that up.

He just looked at me. By this time the flames are shooting so far up that they are taller than the tops of the trees. I'm surprised the neighbors aren't worried and haven't called the fire department. Apparently they're used to it.

Hubby: Well, now it's a fire!

Me: Really? What was it before? Because it's looked like a fire to me the whole time.

Hubby: It was just a baby fire. Now it's as big as the ceremony fires we have for the OA.

Me: But it's summer time when you do those!!

Hubby: Yeah.

Me: But it's like super hot standing here now. It's like 90 degrees then!! Are you standing this close??

Hubby: No, we're standing way far back, but we're still sweating our balls off.

Me: Um. Why? (Wondering why the male species does strange things)

Hubby: Because it impresses the ordeal candidates. They talk about it for years.

Me: Really? Remember that time we were at the OA camp out and the fire was so huge that we were sweating to death and you got heat exhaustion? Yeah...good times. *shaking my head* Do guys ever think that bigger might not be better?

Hubby looks at the other two guys standing there. They all shake their heads.

Guys: Nope. That's just crazy talk.

Soon after I left and went home to make dinner. I left the guys standing around, staring at their handiwork, smoking cigars and patting themselves on the back.



  1. I work with firefighters. Fire is fascinating and terrifying. There's a phenonemon called Angel Fingers where flame dances across a ceiling before a room spontaneously combusts. Fascinating and terrifying!

  2. I think I was a totaly pyromaniac in a previous life. I love to start fires (in my fireplace or woodstove----or campfire pit---or...) is a sight to behold.

    Now I think I will go burn somethin :)

  3. I used to love going to bonfires at the lake, so much fun. I've never watched at burning building. I would probably have fun at it too.

    I read this post to hubby, he shook his head too! LOL!

  4. I love staring at fires. Tom always has to do it when we're on the beach. I remember when we did one and I went, "Now how do we turn it off?"

    And in answer to a question on your blog, I guess they would be bullet proof...but the way the worker described the tires, it just makes it harder for them to go flat.

  5. Ahhh humans and fire...age old fascination! I love fire (although a have a very healthy respect for it) and would rather sit around and watch some logs burn than watch tv.

  6. Campfire watching -- that is my only passion in so far as fire is concerned. Around the age of 8 my buddies and I started a little fire in a field next to our house. Some busybody saw us and called the fire department. When they came my mother would not let the fire fighters talk to me...she couldn't conceive that I would have anything to do with it. I fessed up to her about 20 years ago.

  7. Probably burned at the stake in a past crack me up! My father always burns off the gardens and fields every years and it is awesome.

  8. I laughed out loud on the burn at the stake too. LOL!

    I don't know that I'm scared of it. I love to watch it but don't get too close. My ex used to use HIS HAND and turn the log in the fire place. GAWD men, and all their ball sweating machoness.

  9. I have a healthy respect for's really awesome to watch...and really scary to think of the destruction it can cause.

    Glad you eventually got to warm up, though!

  10. i love the way you are able to recall and share dialog. an art form. must learn how

    fire is hot. duh. i mean like its hard not to think sexy thoughts, unless your husband is being an ass. did i just say that out loud?
    i ♥ fire and wind but not together.

  11. Sorry. I stopped at "sweating my balls off." I giggled. Like a ten year-old boy. I'm still giggling. Like my 30 year-old husband.
    Funny. =)

  12. Tina~ you get to work with firefighters? Firefighters are hot. Lucky! I think this must have been the angel finger thing because it was awesome.

    TPT Momma~ I am horrible at starting them myself. Like scary bad at it. Luckily I am surrounded by boy scouts. They can build you a fire real quick. Lol.

    Heather~ I love bonfires! I just don't get too close.

    WW~ that's the other can't turn them off. You have to wait for them to burn down. Sometimes it takes forever!

    Brite~ I know right?! Very hypnotic.

    Jerry~ omigosh. I can't believe you fooled your mom that well! I always told my kids that children who play with matches wet the bed. Lol.

    Suzicate~ the farmers around here do that too. It is cool to watch, but it really sets off the asthma in our house.

    Angelia~ I know!! My guys do that too. Crazy!!

    Kathryn~ Well at least one side of me, you have to keep turning. Otherwise one side is hot, one is cold.

    Magda~ Agreed!! You did say that out loud, and I totally agree. =]

    Mindy~ Indeed. I have that same immature sense of humor. Laughter is good for the soul though so its ok!