We started the trip with me driving, Sean navigating, and Lu in the backseat comatose. But before she zonked out we were all in a good, okay maybe slightly hysterical mood. So as we sucked down chocolate milkshakes and hurtled forth into the night, she cranked the knob on the stereo and ordered us to "jam out". The song? "Don't stand so close to me" by The Police. Lu only knows the chorus so she chimed in there. Sean sang (and by "sang" I really mean emitted a torturously brutal and completely off key noise that probably had dogs for miles around attempting to cover their ears and whimpering) all the words and I sang along. At which point, Lu turned to me in exasperation and said~
Lu: Stop singing pretty mom! The point of jamming out is to be loud. And since you're singing with Sean it doesn't matter if you hit a single note correctly because you can be damn sure he won't.
Me: Oh. My bad.
And then later, much later, in fact I have no idea when just somewhere during the interminable car ride~
Lu: I'm going to get some Aviator sunglasses. What do you think?
Sean: That you'll look stupid. No one who's not in a uniform can pull off Aviators.
Me: except Chris Mallams. (A friend of ours and super cool guy).
Me: And Captain Kirk.
Sean: He's wearing a uniform. And why would he be wearing sunglasses on a star ship?
Me: Because he can. He's just that badass. Besides those freaking stars are bright dude.
Lu: And what if they get to close to the sun? Then it would be really bright!
Sean: Our sun?
Lu: Any sun.
Me: I'm pretty sure if they get that close to a sun they're in trouble. I think it would be too hot before it got too bright.
Sean: besides, they'd just go into warp speed and get away.
Me: Wait!! Are you saying that they use warp speed to run from trouble??! Like if they're confronted by the sudden appearance of an alien ship, they'd warp away?
Sean: Only to sneak around and approach from another direction.
Me: Oh. So the aliens are like 'is that that wussy spaceship who just ran away from us? Or is it a completely new bad ass spaceship??' And then Captain Kirk comes over their screen wearing his Aviators because he could totally rock those.
At a gas station somewhere in Tennessee...Lu and I get out to pump gas and Sean goes ahead inside to use the restroom. Then comes back out.
Sean: Pipe's broke. The restroom's out of order.
Me: That's not funny Sean. You have no idea how badly I have to pee.
Sean: I'm not kidding. It's true.
*Lu and I regard him suspiciously because this is just the kind of joke he'd play*
Sean: Seriously! The guy told me I could go out back if I wanted but I said you two had to go to and you probably wouldn't be cool with that.
Me: Probably??! So not cool with that. *so we had to drive to another gas station just to use the restrooms. Awkward.*
And at a gas station somewhere in Georgia...where I was the only one who had to pee~
Me: *upon returning to the car* OMG!! Could you have picked a grosser bathroom?! I feel like I need to Lysol myself after that. There was black mold growing in the grout. *shuddering* And worse...there was this huge sign on the door that read "WOMEN ONLY!!! Men- do NOT use!!". Why would you have to put that sign up?? I swear I heard banjos!!
Lu: *giggling uncontrollably* I hope you paddled faster!
Me: Let's just say if there was an Olympic event for speed peeing, I just took the gold!
And then as we neared our destination, we were all once again in our original positions. It was dark and foggy and Sean and I were trying to navigate the twisty two lane roads to the condo, we decided to serenade Lu awake. We gave her a
More ridiculousness is headed your way tomorrow. Because that's how we roll, yo.