Thursday, February 18, 2010

Road trip conversations or random shit we talked about while sleep deprived and stuck in a tiny car...

So as we hurtled through the alternately snow filled, rainy, foggy, where the hell did the sun go twenty hours it took us to drive to Myrtle we had some interesting fascinating completely random and ridiculous conversations. And some jamming out. Which is also known as singing loudly and off key.

We started the trip with me driving, Sean navigating, and Lu in the backseat comatose. But before she zonked out we were all in a good, okay maybe slightly hysterical mood. So as we sucked down chocolate milkshakes and hurtled forth into the night, she cranked the knob on the stereo and ordered us to "jam out". The song? "Don't stand so close to me" by The Police. Lu only knows the chorus so she chimed in there. Sean sang (and by "sang" I really mean emitted a torturously brutal and completely off key noise that probably had dogs for miles around attempting to cover their ears and whimpering) all the words and I sang along. At which point, Lu turned to me in exasperation and said~

Lu: Stop singing pretty mom! The point of jamming out is to be loud. And since you're singing with Sean it doesn't matter if you hit a single note correctly because you can be damn sure he won't.

Me: Oh. My bad.

And then later, much later, in fact I have no idea when just somewhere during the interminable car ride~

Lu: I'm going to get some Aviator sunglasses. What do you think?

Sean: That you'll look stupid. No one who's not in a uniform can pull off Aviators.

Me: except Chris Mallams. (A friend of ours and super cool guy).

Sean: True.

Me: And Captain Kirk.

Sean: He's wearing a uniform. And why would he be wearing sunglasses on a star ship?

Me: Because he can. He's just that badass. Besides those freaking stars are bright dude.

Lu: And what if they get to close to the sun? Then it would be really bright!

Sean: Our sun?

Lu: Any sun.

Me: I'm pretty sure if they get that close to a sun they're in trouble. I think it would be too hot before it got too bright.

Sean: besides, they'd just go into warp speed and get away.

Me: Wait!! Are you saying that they use warp speed to run from trouble??! Like if they're confronted by the sudden appearance of an alien ship, they'd warp away?

Sean: Only to sneak around and approach from another direction.

Me: Oh. So the aliens are like 'is that that wussy spaceship who just ran away from us? Or is it a completely new bad ass spaceship??' And then Captain Kirk comes over their screen wearing his Aviators because he could totally rock those.

At a gas station somewhere in Tennessee...Lu and I get out to pump gas and Sean goes ahead inside to use the restroom. Then comes back out.

Sean: Pipe's broke. The restroom's out of order.

Me: That's not funny Sean. You have no idea how badly I have to pee.

Sean: I'm not kidding. It's true.

*Lu and I regard him suspiciously because this is just the kind of joke he'd play*

Sean: Seriously! The guy told me I could go out back if I wanted but I said you two had to go to and you probably wouldn't be cool with that.

Me: Probably??! So not cool with that. *so we had to drive to another gas station just to use the restrooms. Awkward.*

And at a gas station somewhere in Georgia...where I was the only one who had to pee~

Me: *upon returning to the car* OMG!! Could you have picked a grosser bathroom?! I feel like I need to Lysol myself after that. There was black mold growing in the grout. *shuddering* And worse...there was this huge sign on the door that read "WOMEN ONLY!!! Men- do NOT use!!". Why would you have to put that sign up?? I swear I heard banjos!!

Lu: *giggling uncontrollably* I hope you paddled faster!

Me: Let's just say if there was an Olympic event for speed peeing, I just took the gold!

And then as we neared our destination, we were all once again in our original positions. It was dark and foggy and Sean and I were trying to navigate the twisty two lane roads to the condo, we decided to serenade Lu awake. We gave her a brilliant startling rendition of REO Speedwagon's "Keep on Loving You". Which she totally under appreciated.

More ridiculousness is headed your way tomorrow. Because that's how we roll, yo.


  1. Actually... as we learned in "Suspicions" and proved in "Descent Part 2", if you modify the shielding to make it metaphasic shielding, you can get closer to a star's corona without actually destroying the ship...

    Just sayin'.

  2. You could have taken the gold in speed peeing...that is too funny! To Lu's defense, I probably would have underappreciated the serenade as well!

  3. Bahahah! I love road trips. Conversations in the car are always funny.

  4. I love your conversations, they make me laugh so much. Thank you for posting them. And Capt'n Kirk I don't think can rock Aviators... maybe the Kasbaugh, but not Aviators.

  5. GOLD PEEer!!!! Bwahahahahahha!!!! But wait? Didn't you really leave the GOLD? Liquid gold. HA.

  6. So, what are the guys supposed to do if they have to do the....ya know, #2? They're sh!t out of luck??

  7. XD SPEED PEEING!!! WOOO! that had me laughing :P
    and Captain Kirk would totally rock Aviators. and he'd use them to scare the bad guys into surrender with his awesomeness *nods*
    I could so see that working.

  8. And... in more geekiness... In Redemption Part II, Kurn flies close to a sun then suddenly warps away causing a solar flare which destroys two pursuing Birds of Prey...

  9. JP~ in which case...Kirk would totally be rocking the Aviators, right?!

    Suzicate~ if only the Olympic committee would recognize my efforts...

    UnA~ it's true. They always are.

    Amy~ whatever! Don't be dissing on my childhood crush...

    Angelia~ it's true...I did leave the gold. But I don't think anyone wants that...

    Kathryn~ I refuse to even contemplate that pun...eeeewwww.

    DV~ you bet he would! He's the man!

    JP~ may or may not be a bit obsessed with your Star Trek...and see...he does totally warp away from danger, but in a totally cool, taking out the bad guys way, not a cowardly wussy way.


  10. They had to be talking about the new Captian Kirk. I don't think William Shatner could pull those Aviators off.

    Mom singing pretty, just not right! LOL!

  11. We SO need to teach you to pee in the wild. Seriously. Lessons begin this Spring.

    peeing in the wild BOOTY camp. Get it?!!

  12. My favorite thing to do on a roadtrip? Wait until everyone else is asleep, then slam on the brakes and scream "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!"

    People will stay up and keep you entertained after that.