Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The one where tigers eat zebras and the cat is out of the bag

First, I totally have a confession to make. I'm not nearly as nice and sweet as people think I am. I'm just really really good at biting my tongue and not saying what's actually going through my mind at the time. I find this seriously helpful in dealing not only with the general public, but also with other relationships. And the way that you'll know I'm angry is if I stop talking. No, I'm not deep in thought. No, I'm not just super interested in what you have to say. If I'm not talking in a truly animated fashion and gesturing with my hands, I'm probably pissed off and plotting your slow demise in my next short story. Unless I've been drinking, in which case I'm quite liable to come out with exactly what I'm thinking. Which never ends well, thus the reason I don't drink much. And the reason my husband prefers I don't drink at work functions. Case in point we were discussing someone the other day and I said that I would never drink much around said person as I was afraid the conversation would go much like this~

Me: Do you realize how bad your people skills really are?

Person: I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, you like me.

Me: No. You just think I do, because I happen to have excellent people skills.

And Sean said "Yeah. I can pretty much see the conversation going exactly like that".

And now for the big news I mentioned the other day...I'm going to be a grandma!!! And this is how it happened~

*I'm in my office/family room in the middle of writing a story on the Chilean miners visiting Israel for the holiday season when Lu walks in. I glance up quickly to see who has entered my domain and then look at the clock. It's only 8:30 am which is really early for her to be up on a day she doesn't have to be at work.*

Lu: Remember when you said you'd love me forever no matter what?

Me:*slightly annoyed because I'm pretty sure she's going to ask me to make her a cup of tea and I'm right in the middle of an article* Yes?

Lu:*pulls out two positive pregnancy tests (different brands even) from behind her back and promptly bursts into tears*

Me: Wow. That is so not where I saw this conversation going.

Of course, then I hugged her and we sat in the chair and discussed things. I told her that what we had was a huge case of irony (considering she and Luke had broken up the week before) and that the Universe loved irony. There was no question as to what she'd do, I know her well enough to know she'd keep the baby. She'll live at home and start community college in the fall. Since I work from home, I can watch the baby. She's trying to work on a friendship with Luke so that they can deal well together when the baby comes. She's smart enough to know that a troubled relationship doesn't get better when a baby is added. If it didn't work before it's not going to then.

The timing is off and it sure wasn't in her plan right now, but she's handling it well. Luckily, she'd had the splenechtomy so her ITP is still in remission. She's had two blood tests since she found out she was pregnant and platelets are holding steady at a very high normal. Since she was already on iron for her anemia and folic acid the baby has a good start. And she was already a healthy eater so she's ahead of the game. She sees the doctor for the first time on December 8th but all estimates put her at 7 weeks along. She is already sporting a noticeable baby bump though so she may be farther along. Although, multiples also run on both sides of her father's family.

All the key players (Luke, parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles) have been told so she told me I could share the news with you. Which is awesome, because I was about to bust! I don't even mind the grandma jokes. Much.

And last but not least, a conversation I had with Sean a few days ago~

*we were discussing a certain person and their complete lack of proper responses*

Me: Well a wise woman did tell Mo and I the other day that in 22 years of her line of work she had learned for sure that zebras can't change their stripes.

Sean: of course they can't. It's because zebras are pansies. Take me for instance, I'm a tiger. And I'm not going to change my stripes because I like my stripes. Cause I'm a freakin tiger. And tigers are bad ass. So we don't change our stripes. Zebras try to change but they can't. Because they're zebras. And they're all "I'm gonna stand in this field and hope the tiger doesn't eat me, maybe I blend in with the tall grass". See? Pansies.

Me: I'm pretty sure you lost me back at "I'm a tiger". I don't really understand where you were going with that analogy but um. Okay?

Sean: *head nod, eyebrow raise* That's right. Tigers.

Yeah, it really went down just like that.

Have a happy "day we celebrate how we cheated the Indians out of their land" day!


  1. THERE you are! I lost you. A GRANDMA??? WTH? I got some catching up to do!

  2. Dang, you guys have some amusing conversations at your house! We have them at my house, too, but I'm usually talking to myself! Congrats on the baby...please keep Lu going to the doc and keeping her health straight...just wait until little one gets here and Sean takes him/her under his wing and teaches him a thing or two! And Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

  3. Congrats Grandma, this is so cool, Lu is smart and everything will go well, if there are any problems Sean will just step in with an eyebrow raised...Tigers you know, don't mess with Tigers.

    Seriously Congrats and keep us informed :)

  4. That's right. Tigers. *Snickers* I love that!

    And, again, congrats on the news! I'm so excited, and I hope everything continues to go fabulously well.

  5. Okay, my jaw totally dropped! I was not expecting that! Ahhh!!!! That's so AWESOME - Granny! I love it. Congratulations and yes, the universe LOVES irony and it's got jokes. Lots of them. I do hope they can make a friendship for the baby(ies?) sake.

    Happy Thanksgiving! What a lot to be thankful for.


  6. Gooble Gooble and blessed news to your family there! Maybe not so good news if one is feeling a kin to zebras. Fortunately I have no zebra leanings. But I do embrace and accept zebras and tigers equally.
    Best wishes Granny Nutmeg Spot!

  7. congratulations to you Spot! And to Lu. She has a good role model to learn from about how to raise a child. God Bless you all!

  8. Congrats to the whole family! New titles all around...Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle, Mom... wow...lots of changes. I'm so excited for you!

    With Sean around, I wonder what babies first words will be? Tigers! Yeah! LOL

  9. Tgers and Zebras and Babies ... oh my.

    I'm very happy for all of you. I know this wasn't really 'the plan' but some of the best things in life are complete surprizes, right? Geez - I cried for a month after I found out I was preggers for Stretch.

    Happy Turkey Day.


  10. Congrats, Grandma :)

    I wound up pregnant at 19. My parents freaked.

  11. I'm sure she was pretty scared about being a mom so young and with her health issues, but I love that she is going to give it a shot.

    You are a great mom and your going to be a great grandma. Okay not a "great grandma" but a "great" grandma. Congrats!