Saturday, June 26, 2010

The one where I explain that dinosaurs were stoners...

So things have been pretty serious on this blog lately and I feel like we all need a break from that. Mike is continuing to heal well and is now totally bored with being cooped up all the time. It's beginning to affect his sleep so I'm going to have to come up with something. Lu has decided on the splenectomy and we have an appointment with the surgeon in two weeks to discuss it. So things are progressing.

Sean has been gone alot working at Cub Resident Camp and then camping with his troop at Boy Scout Camp. But Thursday he went and took his entrance exams at the local community college. He's pretty nervous because he hates tests. He and Lu get that from their Dad. Personally, I think tests are fun. It's like playing Jeopardy. All I know is he was acing the math practice tests at home without even using scratch paper. Even the trig, which I never taught him because I dropped Trig my senior year so I wouldn't ruin my GPA. So fingers crossed that the real test went as well.

But it just so happened that the other night we were all home at the same time. And I walked out my room to find Sean in the doorway of Lu's room, talking to Lu & Luke. I'm not sure how we got to the discussion, but here goes~

Sean: You all need to start doing Meth.

Me: What? Why would you tell them to start doing Meth?!

Sean: Well, you've seen those billboards along the highway that have the cute little kid and then they say "Or Meth?". I don't know what message they're trying to send, but to me it obviously means that you have to choose kids or meth. Which means Meth is somehow a form of birth control.

Me: Huh...

Lu & Luke: *crickets chirping*

Me: So Meth renders you sterile?

Sean: I don't know how it works dude, it's just what the signs say.

Luke: So how much Meth do you have to do?

Sean: Probably a lot. Like you'd have to do it 3-5 times a day.

Luke: Holy crap! I think if you did that you'd be so high you wouldn't even know where your junk was.

Me: Thus making you incapable of using it! Abstinence is the best birth control so if you can't do it, well, there you go. You're a genius Sean!

Lu: Plus Meth makes you all gross and your teeth and hair start to fall out and your face breaks out so who would want to have sex with you?

Sean: See, I told you. Meth = birth control.

Luke: Speaking of drugs...M.S. came into our sheep shed (outdoor camping shelter) the other day and said "Nice decorations. All you guys need is some pot."

Sean: WTH?

Luke: Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.

Me: Well, either it was an attempt at being cool and he thought maybe he'd bust you guys or he was just trying to make conversation.

Luke: Yeah, but the thing is the only decorations we have are a lamp, a fan and a dinosaur that Pants made out of clay.

Me: Oh. Well it was the dinosaur statue. It's a little known fact, but the dinosaurs were huge stoners.

Lu: Oh really?

Me: Yeah!

Luke: Well everything did supposedly grow bigger back then.

Lu: So the dinosaurs smoked week?

Sean: Don't be dumb Lu. How could they smoke weed? They don't have opposable thumbs! They ate the weed.

Me: Yeah. Just straight. They were hardcore. They didn't need any brownie mix with it.

Me: And that's why they died out. They were too stoned to prepare for winter and so the ice age came and they died. They were definitely grasshoppers and not ants.

Lu: Grasshoppers? WTH? I'm so confused.

Me: Really, that's a little known fact. I'm surprised M.S. even knew about it. *shakes head and walks off*

Mike: Did you just try to convince the kids that dinosaurs did weed?

Me: (trying to look innocent) No.

Mike: (continuing to stare at me)

Me: Um. Maybe?

As you can see, the silly still rules.
Happy Saturday,


  1. Dinosaurs were totally stoners! hehe

    Im glad things seem to be looking up, although I am sorry to hear about Lu and her up coming surgery.


  2. *wanders off in search of brownie mix*

  3. Makes sense to me! So glad to hear Mike is recovering and I'm hoping that the splenectomy is a positive development. And I'm happy to see the silliness return to your life!

  4. This sounds eerily similar to the conversations in my house! Sometimes I am amazed that other people let their kids come over--who knows what they say when they get home! haha

    Love it!



  5. Nice, glad everything is starting to look up for everyone and speaking of looking up do you think another reason the dinosaurs are extinct may be due to meth because if they were too ugly to breed could be a reason also---Ask Sean about this for me.

    Have Mike think about a guest post here, it may be fun to get both of you on the keyboard :)

  6. I'm so happy to read that things are slowly improving. Your collective sense of humor I'm sure makes it easier to dispel some of the recent gravity.

    Stoner dinosaurs, or course, voracious T-Rex had a huge case of the munchies. It's been documented, I believe. ;)

    Best to all of you.

  7. Ya know....this is how rumors get started.

    We'll make up a poster:

    "Meth makes for great birth control.
    Dinosaurs were pot heads.
    So says it must be so."

    We'll see 'em EVERYWHERE!

  8. I just snorted. Yes. Snorted.

  9. I think that would be a great name for a blog written by you:

    So says Spot.

    Glad to see the crazies are back ... always happy to see them again.

  10. I love your household conversations. Always so entertaining. Jimmy had a good idea for Mike doing a guest blog. Or maybe he could just start jounaling all this stuff. Sometimes writing out all that stuff makes you feel better...

  11. Love Kathryn's idea " says it must be true." As always, you guys crack me up! We have such faith in your wise little sayings. Glad Mike is doing well and Lu has come to a decision.

  12. I'm like Lulu..I'm so confused!

    Thanks for the big laugh! Glad to see somethings haven't changed at your house.

    Glad to hear Mike is doing soo much better and hope all goes well with Sean's test.

    Lulu has had to make a huge decision and I can bet it's been scarey for her. Hope all goes well there too.

  13. Totally explains why the T-REX always had the munchies. LOL!

    Ya'll are too funny!

    But listen, tell Sean meth does *not* equal birth control, most of the people on porno films do meth and Viagra at the same time. I'm not kidding! A friend of mine turned swinger, met a meth dude and ended up in pornos!

    I don't think you want *that* in your house. HA HA.

  14. Love this!! And clearly, your theory on their extintion makes much more sense than any meteor where the dust blocked ot the sun making the vegetation die and there for the veggiesauruses die and therefor the meatasauruses die. You win!