The one where we have a rough night...

Again I'm sitting here on the wrong side of midnight, keeping vigil. Tonight he is resting well, finally comfortable. I am watching the monitors which tell me his vital signs. I have learned what every line, every abbreviation means and what the allowable deviations are. Currently, they are all looking good. But I'm waiting on the Doctor's call about lab results we just received. You see, last night was not so peaceful.

Last night was rough. His breathing was very labored. His oxygen sats were low. His heart rate was way above where it should be and he was complaining of pain in his back. The nurse was worried about a possible heart problem. She kept the vigil from her station (right outside his room, she can see everything from her window into his room). Around four AM I finally dozed off. I was awakened by a sound I couldn't place. It was wheezing. I got up and put my head closer to his mouth to listen. Sure enough, I heard the tell tale sound. Wheezing and I are old enemies. But I'd only once before heard him wheeze. I checked his forehead. Yep, running a fever. I poked my head out the door and conferred with the nurse. I suggested that perhaps the back pain was pleurisy. She took his temp. 101.6- not good. She called the doctor. They administered Tylenol in a most unconventional way. They also took blood and did a chest xray. The xray showed some possible lung congestion. He was switched to a broader spectrum antibiotic. That seems to be working.

Unfortunately, the labs told a story of their own. His hemoglobin had dropped overnight. Not in a severe range, but not good. The surgeon ordered a an abdominal ct scan. The scan showed that one of his adrenals had been nicked in the crash. It was still bleeding a bit. A urologist was called in. He wants to wait and see if the nick will clot on it's own so they don't need to do further surgery. He has labs drawn every six hours and reported to the doctor. His hemoglobin continues to drop. He is also now confined to bed. No more trying to get him up. He will be in ICU for several more days.

His arm was unwrapped today. I was mistaken on the sutures. They used surgical staples. 53 of them in his arm and shoulder. The palm of his left hand and fingers have regular sutures. Lots of them. The chest tube is bothering him. We found tons of new bruises today. The pain is still bad.

The midnight labs are back, the numbers are still dropping. A call to the doctor calls for a transfusion of blood. He sleeps on and for that I am thankful. I will explain when he wakes up.

I must give a special thank you to all of the doctors and nurses we have had. His surgeon is amazing and doesn't mind hugs. His nurses have been caring and compassionate and on top of things. The nursing supervisor for tonight rocks my socks. She got me a chair that actually lays down. I may get some sleep tonight after all. I'm going to include a couple of pictures of the truck he was in, so you can see how lucky he is to still be alive.







Thank you all,
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And sometimes bad things happen...

So this last week has been rough. I say rough instead of sucked the proverbial monkey balls because things could have been worse. The feeling at my house is "if the police didn't come and nobody died" it really wasn't that bad. Being sick has sucked but it's not that unusual for me. I wasn't life or death sick, just sick enough to be listless and irritable. Then on Thursday, Sean had an accident on his way to his Civil Air Patrol meeting.

It's an hour's drive from our house to where the meetings are held. He stops in the town half an hour away to either meet or ride with his friends. Sometimes the one guys dad drives, or the guy drives, sometimes Sean drives. Well, this time Sean was driving. And he was driving my car because it gets better gas mileage than his truck. The exit he takes comes down into a double left turn lane. He pulled into the farthest left lane and stopped at the light. A semi driver, with a double trailer, pulled into the lane next to him. He was on his cell phone. The semi driver changed lanes in the middle of the intersection. Sean managed to slow, but was forced into oncoming traffic. Luckily, he didn't collide with the oncoming traffic. However, the last set of tires on the last trailer of the semi clipped the front of my car. The semi driver did not even get out of his cab or get off his phone. He yelled and asked if Sean and the other boy were alright. Then he drove off!! It being Sean's first accident, he wasn't thinking clearly enough to get the guys license plate number or name of the trucking company. Or insist that they call the police. But luckily, he and his friend were unharmed and the car is driveable. There is some body damage though. But all in all, it could have been way worse. And the damage to my kid would have been far worse than any damage to my vehicle.

The second bit of not-good-ness happened Sunday/Monday. Sean has been my company/getter of everything I need while I've been ill. He's watched a massive amount of weird TV shows with me. Made many many glasses of something to drink. Fetched everything from my book, to tissues, to my favorite blanket. He started coughing Sunday. At first, I thought it was just his asthma acting up because he forgot to get one of his meds refilled. Yesterday, he woke up with a fever and a headache and a worse cough. Did I mention he gets pneumonia at least as often as I do? Luckily, because I went to the doctor already (oh yeah, the dr. says I have pneumonia, color me surprised!) and because of his history with it, they just went ahead and called his meds in so we don't have to go back. So now we're sickies together. Talk about your quality time...it's a wonder we haven't killed each other yet...

But all of this is small beans compared to what comes next. On Friday night I got a call from my aunt. She said that grandma had been admitted to the hospital because her red blood count was low and they were giving her transfusions. She gave me some values for the count but that was really all she knew. She hadn't been able to get ahold of my folks. So I said I would call them. They were at Hildi's in Ohio. I called and talked to my dad. I said that the values she gave me didn't make sense for your red blood count (I'm familiar with blood count values thanks to Lu's disorder). But my aunt has untreated fibromyalgia and can be a little spacey. My mom called my uncle, but well, mom can be kind of spacey too and all she got out of the conversation was that grandma was in stable condition. The next morning I called my SIL, who's an RN. She said that they must mean her hemoglobin was low and yes, they would transfuse at that value. Now the doctors would have to find out where she was losing the blood from or what was causing the drop. Grandma had been diagnosed with chronic leukemia several months ago and so we thought maybe it had to do with that. My SIL gave me strict orders not to visit the hospital with my pneumonia and if I was running a temp bc my grandma's immunity is shot. So I stayed home.

My folks hightailed it home from Hildi's on Saturday. They said they would be at the hospital on Sunday. I asked them to call me from there and let me know what was up. I was still running a fever. All I got Sunday was a text from my mom saying that grandma looked pretty much the same as she had been and they didn't have any new info. I relaxed. Yesterday, Hildi texted me and asked if I knew where the heck Mom & Dad were. She'd called their house and gotten no answer and they weren't answering their phones. None of that is unusual. I said no, but I was a little miffed that I couldn't get a phone call from them the day before while they were at the hospital. She said she'd requested one as well. She didn't even get the text. We were texting back and forth when she stopped texting. Again, not unusual because she has small children. Then the phone rang and I saw my Dad's cell number. I thought he was calling to check on me. (Selfish, no?) But the tone of my Dad's voice put me on instant alert. They were at the hospital. They'd found tumors in my grandmother's pancreas, gallbladder and liver. She is not a candidate for surgery due to health concerns. They are doing a liver biopsy (needle) today to be absolutely certain, but they are 95% sure the type and aggressiveness of the cancer. The recommendation is hospice care. No prolonging measures. The prognosis is for weeks, maybe months. But the goal is only to make her comfortable and pain free.

This is my mother's mother. My father's mother passed away when I was thirteen. Breast cancer. But my father and mother have been married for 43 years. He loves my grandmother like he did his own. He was in tears. I've only seen my big strong Daddy cry twice. Once, when his mother died. And the night my sister got married. (Of course, he was way drunk then). I cried too. My grandmother and I have been very close. I was the first grandchild. But I immediately asked if he talked to Hildi yet. He had. But she was home alone with the kids, her hubby at work. I called her immediately. She was doing okay. She'd called her hubby and he came home from work. The girls were patting her back and stroking her hair. But she was frantically trying to figure out whether she should come right away or wait. And if she came, how would she manage it. Her oldest daughter can't miss any more school. What would she do with the youngest if she brought her? We figured most of it out, but she's waiting for the needle biopsy results that we'll have on Wednesday to make a final decision. My father implored me to stay home one more day and give my meds time to work. So I won't be going to the hospital until tomorrow.

The only bright spot in all of this, is that my grandma has dementia. She's not really lucid a lot of the time and I have to think this is a blessing. She doesn't comprehend that she's got cancer. She continually asks why she's in the hospital. And so she doesn't know what she's in for. I can't help that think that's a good thing. You can't fear the reaper if you don't know he's coming.

I'm sorry this has been such a downer post. But it's been a downer week...

♥Spot

Happy *cough cough* Spring???

First, have I told you peeps how much you mean to mean?? Well consider yourself hugged. And notified. So many get well wishes! And funny comments. And Elly's outrageous comment. Those made me laugh so hard I'm gasping for air. Which is why I kept ineffectually punching Sean in the leg yesterday. Because he'd make me laugh. And then I'd try to sock him one while going "*cough cough* Stop *cough* making me *cough* laugh! *cough cough* I can't *cough* breathe!". So yeah, I'm still sick. Okay Angelia, I hear what you're thinking girl. You sound just like my sister Hildi. "Go to the damn doctor". Um...it's Sunday. So that means I either fight the ER waiting room/docs or go tomorrow to see my doctor. And the ER docs? Not so bright. I've had pneumonia at least once and sometimes twice every winter for the last 20 years. I've been hospitalized for it 6 times and once I had to go to the doctors every day to get IVs, because I begged him not to put me in the hospital (the children were toddlers and I didn't want to leave them). These last few years I end up in the hospital because I've managed to develop allergies to all but a handful of oral antibiotics. So if those don't work, I'm stuck in there on IVs. I hate that.

In those years, I've grown to know my foe. I know how he feels in my lungs. I know how he sounds. I'm pretty sure I can pinpoint the exact moment that his little friends invaded my chest. (Of course it was the middle of the night and I had a fever, so I could just have been trippin). I also know roughly how sick I have to be for the ER doc to get the diagnosis right. If I go to soon he diagnoses a sinus infection, a respiratory virus, the flu, a bladder infection (no joke. true story), an allergic reaction. Three days later, I'm in the hospital because I have pneumonia but the doctor didn't listen. He didn't hear any rales in my chest (because it solidifies in my lungs and you can't hear anything). Did you know that chest x-rays actually lag behind two days?? That the picture they get of your chest is how it looked two days ago. Weird huh? The crazy shit you learn in the hospital!!

So, even though Hildi's yelling. And Lu and Sean are saying, "c'mon mom, let us take you in". My hubby, says "you're mother's right. she's been through this before. She'll know when to go". It's a sad fact. So until then, I'm laying on the couch, watching really weird TV shows and Sean is my caretaker while the others work. He's damn good at his job. Except for not leaving me alone. (Stop watching me sleep kid, you're creeping me out. I promise to keep breathing.) And trying to make me eat. Pneumonia makes me not hungry. (It's the only thing that ever does!!)

So keep your fingers crossed that tomorrow the doctor says "wow. you have pneumonia" and gives me the kick ass drugs so I can get off the damn couch!! Although, I'm not sure why I want to. This is what spring is looking like at my house~





Those are pics Sean snapped for me yesterday. It snowed all day long. We ended up with about 3 inches. (Another reason I didn't want to go to town yesterday). Spring, wherefore art thou??!

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