The one where I give further proof that the universe is out to get me...

If you've read this blog at all then you know that the universe is conspiring against me. For real. And that the manufacturer of my body used faulty parts. I mean, how else do I end up with knees that look like they belong to an 80 year old? And now, I apparently have spontaneously rupturing muscles. At least with the torn meniscus I had a great story and could call it a "sports injury". This latest thing? Yeah, I got nothing with a capital "N".

It started Wednesday. I drug Mike to town (yeah, seriously drug him. It's boy scout camp time and he's busier than a cranberry farmer at bogging time. And the way it works is once he steps foot off camp property at least one thing breaks.) But we had an appointment we had to keep, we'd already rescheduled three times. And I had to go have some ridiculous ABI test done for my doctor. It was like musical blood pressure cuffs. Arms, legs, all at once, one at a time. Not too bad except I'm not sure why they feel the need to blow those cuffs up all the way when I have relatively low blood pressure. Anywho, we got all that done and we even snuck in lunch beforehand. But of course, on the way home, he gets calls and texts and apparently all hell broke loose at camp while he was gone.

So we get home and he rushes back down into camp. No one else is home so I go to the computer and start working. As I'm working, I notice that its beginning to hurt when I move my right arm a certain way. I really didn't think much about it til I got up at 7 to see about something to eat. Then I noticed that it really hurt to move my arm. It got increasingly worse and when Lu got home from work, I showed her how it hurt to move it certain ways. Her expert advice? "So don't move it like that". Seriously, that girl could be a doctor.

So Mike asks if I want to go to the ER. Who wants to go to the ER at ten o'clock at night? So I say "no". And he goes to his workshop to work on some stuff. But by 11? I can't move my arm without bringing tears to my eyes. And let me just remind you that I am not a wuss when it comes to pain. Walk around on a torn meniscus for 6 months? No prob. Birth a 10lb breech baby with no drugs? Been there, done that. So if I'm in tears, it's serious. So Mike and I proceed to the ER at 11pm.

Cue Twilight Zone music because really? Those people who are at the ER at that time of night? Born in a Walmart if you ask me. There was the pregnant meth head (no lie) who was both scary and pathetic. There was the old lady that they took back immediately even though she appeared in no distress. There was the guy I thought was going to pass out on the floor in front of me. And the whiny chick (who again did not look sick). And the triage nurse from hell. Mike suggested that we bring food some night and just hang out there and people watch. He said it might be fun if I wasn't in so much pain.

But I was in pain. And after sitting in the waiting room for an hour I was highly tempted to take the security guard's firearm and blaze a trail back to a treatment room. And when I heard the meth head say that she should be next, I believe the words that came out of my mouth (quietly so only Mike heard me) were "she better back that crap up because I will cut a b**ch!" Have I explained that extreme pain makes me cranky??

Then the guy comes and gets me for an xray of my shoulder. He informs me I have to remove my shirt and bra and put on a gown. Well, I managed painfully to remove my things and get the gown on but I had to have him tie it. He does the xrays, also painful and then tells me I can get dressed.

Me: Dude, that is so not happening. There's no way I can get that stuff back on by myself.

Him: *mouth open. crickets chirping*

Me: Can I borrow this gown? I'll go out and get my husband to come with me to the restroom and help."

Him: oh yeah, that's fine. (Seriously? Did he really think I was going to ask him to help??)

So I grab my clothes and go get Mike. We go to the ladies restroom and I go in to be sure it's empty. He comes to the handicapped stall with me and I shut the door.

Mike: I'm so going to get arrested. And then I'll be branded a sex offender and lose my job and have to register on a list and...

Me: Um. It's pretty obvious I can't use my arm. I think the security guard will understand.

Finally we see a doctor. And for the third time that night I get the "What did you do to it?" NOTHING! I wasn't skydiving, playing tennis, doing chin-ups or falling down stairs. I was typing when it started. Every time I say this, I am greeted with dubious looks. I'm halfway tempted to tell everyone Sean beats me. I mean, he tells people I beat him so it's only fair, right? The xrays look fine. The doctor has no idea what's wrong. So they give me a shot of dilaudid and a Valium and send me home with a vial of narcotics and instructions to see my doctor the next day. So I'm higher than a kite, but it hasn't even touched the pain. And I have to stay awake on the drive home so I can keep poking Mike, who's falling asleep at the wheel. Because it's now 2 am.

Nothing helped the pain so I went and saw the doctor who was covering for my doctor on Thursday. After moving my arm and watching me tear up he determined that it was my bicep and it's likely ruptured. He gave me a shot of Toradol, which is an anti-inflammatory and a regimen of high dose Motrin round the clock. He also put me in a sling. If it's better by next week, then it's only strained. If it's not, it's likely I separated the tendon from the muscle and will need surgery. You all know how much I love surgery. Like a fat guy loves diet food. So far, it's helped. Whether it's the immobilization or the Motrin, I don't know. I hate the sling with a passion, but if I don't wear it, I forget and use my arm and then it hurts again. Fingers crossed for the strain. I don't have time for anything else.

And this whole episode is the exact reason why I love Mystery Diagnosis so much. It makes me and my medical issues seem normal in comparison!

Have a great forth y'all!
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The one where I whine a little...

You've been forewarned. I'm feeling slightly whiny so no doubt that's how this post will come off. If you don't feel like listening to it, you are cordially invited to skip this one. And I won't be mad. Pinky swear.

We had a lovely weekend. Really, the wedding went off well. The reception was a lot of fun and ended far too quickly. The whole thing was great. I did not get drunk as I had planned. I did drink quite a bit of some really excellent wine but it was spread throughout the day and at the reception I kept running into people who wanted to talk and when I talk, I get so animated that I forget to keep drinking. So I was on the sober side when we left for home. Lu went ahead and drove since obviously she hadn't been drinking. We got home around midnight thirty and crawled into bed.

Enter Sunday morning. My legs refuse to work properly. I've mentioned before that I have Fibromyalgia and my leg muscles are a lot of where the problem is focused. All the walking, standing and some stairs Saturday pretty much insured they'd be screaming at me Sunday. So it really was no surprise. I rested a lot of Sunday. Watched some movies that no one else would've watched with me. One was a 1945 black & white horror film I'd never seen before. It had an awesome plot. I didn't mind my down time.

Unfortunately, my body wasn't satisfied with just one day. I've been having this problem lately. When I sit at my computer my feet swell up and then it hurts to walk on them. It’s been a couple of months and I probably should have called the doctor sooner, but I was busy. (Yes, that is my excuse. That and I get sick of doctors.) And now it’s to the point where after a while they go numb. If I sit elsewhere and keep them elevated they do better. So I've been trying to work in breaks. Although breaks make me crazy- they feel so unproductive.

And now there are these bright red dots all over my calves and shins and a few above my knee. No, it’s not a rash. They are flush with my skin and don't itch or hurt. They're just there. They look like larger versions of the petechia that Lu gets when her platelets are low. So I called the doctor. And he wants to look for zebras instead of horses. (That’s what I call it when they do elaborate tests and it turns out to be something simple). So tomorrow they'll take an ultrasound of my heart to make sure its functioning properly. I'm no doctor, but I'm betting it’s something simpler like autoimmune vasculitis and all I need is a course of steroids. But we'll see. Meantime I'm laying low and grumbling because I'm not feeling productive. Of course, there's no one here to grumble to because it’s the busy time of year.

Fibromyalgia is like that. I go for weeks feeling fine and respecting my limitations and then it flares and I have to sit a few rounds out. I'm not much for sitting on the sidelines.

On the work front though, I still managed to finish the edits on the first manuscript for Angelic Knight Press. I posted a book review at See Spot Read yesterday. And an author/publisher interview at The Author Spot. I have a new manuscript to edit for a client not involved with Angelic Knight, and one client due to send me one mid-July. I have a new book to read for review next week. And a book to beta read for a friend. Plus my own two works-in-progress to work on. So legs be damned...I'm busy!

Thanks for listening those of you who stayed. I feel better for the venting. And if you know of anyone who's had a similar problem, do tell. I'll take my suggestions to the doctor next week.

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The one where I try to get back on track...no really, I mean it this time.

I'm really not being very good about this whole posting on a regular basis thing, am I? I could give you the fifty million excuses I could think of, but lets just chalk it up to health issues and motivational fail. Mmmk?

First, thank you to all of you who follow my facebook and sent wishes and prayers while Mike was in the hospital last weekend. That support is so appreciated. It was appreciated the first day when he was so sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong and then the next day when he was so grumpy, I wanted to thump him with something. You know how you can tell your kids are getting over an illness, because they start getting grumpy? Well apparently he never got the memo that kids do that, not grown men. I think over the last year, I've kind of proved I'm a patient person. So everyone should probably stop testing my patience.

Second, I got to hear the grand baby's heartbeat again. Lu is doing great and everything is going well with her pregnancy. Her platelets dropped about 20,000 but they are still well above normal. She gained a pound back. And her belly has really popped out finally. There's no mistaking she's pregnant. And it's adorable. Although, she really doesn't like people touching her belly. I told her she better suck it up and get used to it. Pregnant bellies are like magnets. You just have to touch them. Things did not work out with the guy she was seeing. But his behavior afterward certainly showed that she made the right decision. Obsessive much? Yes he was. The baby's father finally got in contact with her again. It's only been a few texts but that's a step in the right direction. Maybe they can at least salvage a friendship since they are sharing a baby.

I have about a zillion conversations to share with you. So here goes:

The last day Mike was in St. Louis he'd called to talk to me and towards the end of the convo he began to sound distracted and I heard him say:

Mike: I don't know what I did with my phone.

Me: (completely confused) What?

Mike: I can't find my phone. I hope I left it in my room.

Me: Um. You don't mean the phone that you're talking to me on, right?

Mike: Well hell. That's why it's not in my pocket!

And last night we were watching a movie and the characters were walking in a forest in England and came upon a place where animal skulls were hung from trees:

Mike: That skull is an American big horn. They don't have those in Europe.

Lu: Stop taking the fun out of it!

Sean: The movie was probably filmed in Oregon anyway.

Me: Yeah, they have those in Oregon.

Lu: *giggling* I can't believe they put the wrong skulls up. Geez, did they think no one would notice? How silly of them.

And the other day, while sitting in Mike's doctors examining room:

Me: I can't read any of those papers he has posted on the back of the door. I mean, I can read the large print but that's about it. I need to make an eye appointment because I'm pretty sure I'm going blind.

Mike: *starts reading off the fine print*

Me: Wow. Thanks. Way to make me feel inferior. Good job big guy.

Mike: *trying to make me feel better* Well it's kind of blurry and I have to concentrate to read it.

Me: Um yeah. It's kind of blurry to me too and I have to concentrate to make it look like words!

Which reminds me that I still need to make that eye appointment! I have an appointment with the Ear, Nose & Throat doctor tomorrow for some vertigo I've been having. The downside to vertigo is that everything spinning like that is slightly nauseating. And I did actually fall down once. The upside though is that no one has to take me to Six Flaggs this year. Just bending down makes me feel like I'm on an amusement park ride!

Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And that you are all in good health and good spirits.

Peace Out,
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