You guys are not going to believe this, but I'm going to be interviewed and featured on this site: Mommy Page. I know, you're all wondering if they actually read my blog before picking me. That was my initial thought too. Then I thought maybe I was being punked. Because, I hear you all saying, "But, Spot, you're more like the anti-Mommy." I know, right? But they must have read my blog because the interview questions actually pertain to a post or two. And those questions? Man, they're hard. I'm freaking out just a little. But don't tell anyone, it would ruin my image.
So I'm definitely going to do the interview and I will let you all know when it is up; hopefully, you'll find a minute or two to sneak over and check it out, leave me a little comment love, and generally promote a site that apparently doesn't want to be preachy or "cookie cutter"ish. Let's face it, if they did, they wouldn't touch my blog with a ten foot pole. I mean I've openly admitted to not knowing where my children were every minute of every single day; letting them endanger their health by climbing tall trees, handling snakes (okay, so I totally did not encourage that, quite the opposite), riding without pads or helmets; and snarking at them. But, hey, they survived and became mostly functioning members of society (provided you don't ask Lu where any European countries are located or think that plans for total world domination is an odd life plan for a guy).
I've also stated numerous times that I'm looking forward to my children vacating the premises. I get really funny looks for that one sometimes. And it makes me wonder if people think they want their kids to live with them forever. And if they do, what kind of accident was it that caused the head injury that knocked your screw loose? Because, let's face it, no matter how close you are to your offspring (and anyone reading this blog knows that I'm nearly super glued to mine), there comes a time when you want some space. And I'm not talking about locking yourself in the bathroom for ten minutes with your fingers in your ears, refusing to converse with anyone standing outside the door. (You know you've been there, don't try to deny it.) And after raising them up, I deserve some "me" time. Or better yet, some "me & mike" time. So while I love them dearly, and will cry copiously the day they move out, I will also do a secret (okay, now that I've put it in writing maybe not-so-secret) happy dance.
They need the chance to blossom. Lu needs her own house so that two adult women with different ways of doing things aren't trying to survive in the same kitchen. Sean needs to not have me cook for him, clean his room, balance his checkbook, and amuse him on a routine basis. They need to flaunt their independence, make some mistakes, and become fully adult. Do I wish they weren't both moving half a continent away? Definitely. But I also know that there's nothing much around this area for them. We've always raised our children to want to get out of dodge and find their own niche in the world. I'll miss them like crazy (especially my adorable grandson) but there are cell phones, skype, and air travel. I'll make use of them all. Frequently.
And Mike & I? Well, I need time to devote to work and not feel guilty about neglecting the family. We both need a little less stress and a little more downtime. And we need more couple time.
And guess what? Lu & Sean took baby Dylan to visit his dad in Texas. So the next six days are a practice run at being empty- nesters. I'm only 8 hours in, Lu's called once already, but I'm kind of liking this silence thing. Just me and six sleeping cats. I'll let you know how it goes...
♥Spot
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Monday, August 29, 2011
The one where things change...
The times they are a-changin'. Again. They seem to be constantly doing that lately. I think time speeds up as you age and everything happens at a faster rate of speed. Or maybe we just lose attention span and aren't fully focused. I'm totally blaming this on age. Because I can, that's why.
So the first change is obvious...I changed the design of my blog and went back to the original picture. I love that picture. Being at the ocean makes me happy. Also? I think it defines the "edge". And I almost always feel as if I'm on the edge of something. These days it's usually something exciting. I also simplified the design. I felt it was taking too long to load and had too many distracting elements. So there you go. I hope you like it. I do.
The second change is that I'm about to be a mother-in-law. Yep, you read it right. Lu & Luke are tying the proverbial knot. They got engaged last week. I know- you're dying to hear the story of how he popped the question. And even if you aren't, I'm going to tell you anyway. Luke works nights at a steel factory and comes home covered in black grime. So the first thing he does is shower. But last Tuesday night he came home a little late and Lu was so busy worrying that he was late, she didn't notice that he was clean and had changed clothes. He'd also brought her home a cherry slushie & mozz sticks from Sonic which are two of her very favorite things. On one of the mozz sticks was a gorgeous diamond engagement ring. Cheezy story, huh?
I knew it was coming (I helped pick out the rings) but it was still odd. My little girl has a baby and will soon have a husband. How does this happen so fast? They are getting married in a very small outdoor ceremony on September 18th. Only immediate family and their closest friends will be in attendance. Luke is enlisting in the Air Force that week and they will be having a big wedding and reception after he finishes basic and tech school. Not knowing, exactly when that will be, we will start the dress shopping and wedding planning right away. So exciting!!
Lu & Dylan will stay with us while he's away. Then, they'll join him at his first assignment. I'm excited they are about to start their lives, but sad that they will probably be moving fairly far away. I guess I will be traveling a lot to see my grandbaby!
Sean is back from his travels and has some amazing stories to tell! He met some of the most interesting people. I guess we both know the cool kids. He's applying to work at the steel factory with Luke so that he make some bank. But first on his priority list is talking to the recruiters and enlisting. He's wanted to be a Marine since he was six. To make me happy he's agreed to talk to the Air Force and Navy recruiters as well, before enlisting. Too soon, I may have an empty nest. And again, I'll have to travel to see him. Good thing I can work from anywhere, huh?
And I must apologize- I totally left town without alerting the blogosphere. We went to my sister's in Ohio last week and stayed with a friend in Indy on the way back. Visits to my parents bookended the trip. Lu, Dylan and Sean went with me. I do have some funny stories (and pics) to share next time. But the thing that made me giggle was a text I got, two days into my trip.
J: Did you leave your house without letting the blogosphere know? How can we keep track of you if you do things like that?
So you all have my deepest apologies. I'll try to make it easier to stalk me from now on.
♥Spot
PS- For those of you who wondered (you know who you are), Sean did indeed make a fried egg sandwich his very first morning home from New Mexico.
So the first change is obvious...I changed the design of my blog and went back to the original picture. I love that picture. Being at the ocean makes me happy. Also? I think it defines the "edge". And I almost always feel as if I'm on the edge of something. These days it's usually something exciting. I also simplified the design. I felt it was taking too long to load and had too many distracting elements. So there you go. I hope you like it. I do.
The second change is that I'm about to be a mother-in-law. Yep, you read it right. Lu & Luke are tying the proverbial knot. They got engaged last week. I know- you're dying to hear the story of how he popped the question. And even if you aren't, I'm going to tell you anyway. Luke works nights at a steel factory and comes home covered in black grime. So the first thing he does is shower. But last Tuesday night he came home a little late and Lu was so busy worrying that he was late, she didn't notice that he was clean and had changed clothes. He'd also brought her home a cherry slushie & mozz sticks from Sonic which are two of her very favorite things. On one of the mozz sticks was a gorgeous diamond engagement ring. Cheezy story, huh?
I knew it was coming (I helped pick out the rings) but it was still odd. My little girl has a baby and will soon have a husband. How does this happen so fast? They are getting married in a very small outdoor ceremony on September 18th. Only immediate family and their closest friends will be in attendance. Luke is enlisting in the Air Force that week and they will be having a big wedding and reception after he finishes basic and tech school. Not knowing, exactly when that will be, we will start the dress shopping and wedding planning right away. So exciting!!
Lu & Dylan will stay with us while he's away. Then, they'll join him at his first assignment. I'm excited they are about to start their lives, but sad that they will probably be moving fairly far away. I guess I will be traveling a lot to see my grandbaby!
Sean is back from his travels and has some amazing stories to tell! He met some of the most interesting people. I guess we both know the cool kids. He's applying to work at the steel factory with Luke so that he make some bank. But first on his priority list is talking to the recruiters and enlisting. He's wanted to be a Marine since he was six. To make me happy he's agreed to talk to the Air Force and Navy recruiters as well, before enlisting. Too soon, I may have an empty nest. And again, I'll have to travel to see him. Good thing I can work from anywhere, huh?
And I must apologize- I totally left town without alerting the blogosphere. We went to my sister's in Ohio last week and stayed with a friend in Indy on the way back. Visits to my parents bookended the trip. Lu, Dylan and Sean went with me. I do have some funny stories (and pics) to share next time. But the thing that made me giggle was a text I got, two days into my trip.
J: Did you leave your house without letting the blogosphere know? How can we keep track of you if you do things like that?
So you all have my deepest apologies. I'll try to make it easier to stalk me from now on.
♥Spot
PS- For those of you who wondered (you know who you are), Sean did indeed make a fried egg sandwich his very first morning home from New Mexico.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The one where I snap...
Meltdowns are never pretty. Last night was no exception. It was 10 pm. The Borgias had just ended (season finale, not to be seen again until 2012, why Showtime? Why??) and I got up from the couch,(Sunday night is family TV viewing for us- HBO's Game of Thrones and Showtime's The Borgias, not for every family, definitely not PG, but works for us) I gathered my teacup, phone & plate and headed to the kitchen. This is what I found there: teabags left in the sink to stain the sink, a cup ring on the counter, kool-aid spill on the floor and an overflowing garbage can. Have I mentioned that I live with quasi-adults and not toddlers? It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I exploded. I pointed out that people should clean up their own messes and not leave them for me. That we are going to have bugs very quickly if they continue to not clean up their messes. And then I pointed out that it was time to put on the big kid pull-ups and start pulling their weight. And then I pulled out the big guns.
Me: *to Lu* You know what I was doing when I was 7 months pregnant with your brother? Working 40 hours a week and taking care of my own apartment. I worked days and your dad worked nights so I fixed all my own meals and extra so he'd have a lunch to take the next night. I cleaned the whole thing by myself and we went to the laundromat and grocery store on weekends when we were off.
Lu: I do help out! I did the dishes just the other day! And I do all the laundry.
Me: Laundry is your chore. You do not pay rent or groceries so you still have chores. And doing the dishes once a week is better than anyone else in this house, but its not exactly helping out. And when you aren't at work, you are asleep. I know you're tired, been there done that. Wait until your going through this with baby number 1 and 2 to take care of also. But a little more help is required around here.
Me: *to Sean* And you! You aren't even working currently and you don't do anything until I nag you! Your Dad was only a few months older than you when he was going to school half a day and holding down a full time job to get ready for his first child.
Sean: I thought about doing the dishes the other day, does that count?
Me: No. I appreciate the thought but you need to actually do them.
Sean: And having a baby on the way is probably a really good catalyst for responsibility. So maybe I should knock someone up. Wait?! Will they still let me go to seminary school and become an exorcist if I have a baby?
Me: Um, no.
And then I couldn't help it, I started giggling. Mostly because the thought of Sean in seminary school or as an exorcist is beyond ridiculous. Also because I'm pretty sure that's the worst reason I've ever heard for getting someone pregnant. *Let me state- for the record- he was kidding about both of those things* I ended my rant by saying that I was tired of being responsible for every one's business and I refused to nag them until they got their stuff done anymore (Sean's eagle project, Lu signing up for birthing classes and registering at the hospital) and that they were now on their own. Sink or swim time. I have got to get them to take more responsibility for their lives. Then I mentioned how I knew this little meltdown wouldn't do any good and I'd see them same place same time next week.
And with that I went to bed. In bed was where I read all the twitter updates about the horrible tornadoes and damage to Joplin, Mo. And then I felt like a wretch. Here I was yelling at my family when people had just lost theirs. Instead of being thankful for the fact that I have a home, plenty of food, and my family around me- I was complaining. I was not remembering that it can all be snatched from you in an instant. And I was not remembering to value them. Why does it take a tragedy to remind of us these things? And how can we learn to filter what's truly important from what's truly petty? I dont' have these answers. I struggle with this in my own life. I went back out and told them that regardless of everything I loved them all and I would try not to meltdown anymore. They promised to try harder to be more helpful (emphasis on the word "try"). And then I went back to bed and asked the universe to help me remember not to take what I have for granted and to be a better mother, better wife, better person.
Life is short and unpredictable.
♥Spot
Me: *to Lu* You know what I was doing when I was 7 months pregnant with your brother? Working 40 hours a week and taking care of my own apartment. I worked days and your dad worked nights so I fixed all my own meals and extra so he'd have a lunch to take the next night. I cleaned the whole thing by myself and we went to the laundromat and grocery store on weekends when we were off.
Lu: I do help out! I did the dishes just the other day! And I do all the laundry.
Me: Laundry is your chore. You do not pay rent or groceries so you still have chores. And doing the dishes once a week is better than anyone else in this house, but its not exactly helping out. And when you aren't at work, you are asleep. I know you're tired, been there done that. Wait until your going through this with baby number 1 and 2 to take care of also. But a little more help is required around here.
Me: *to Sean* And you! You aren't even working currently and you don't do anything until I nag you! Your Dad was only a few months older than you when he was going to school half a day and holding down a full time job to get ready for his first child.
Sean: I thought about doing the dishes the other day, does that count?
Me: No. I appreciate the thought but you need to actually do them.
Sean: And having a baby on the way is probably a really good catalyst for responsibility. So maybe I should knock someone up. Wait?! Will they still let me go to seminary school and become an exorcist if I have a baby?
Me: Um, no.
And then I couldn't help it, I started giggling. Mostly because the thought of Sean in seminary school or as an exorcist is beyond ridiculous. Also because I'm pretty sure that's the worst reason I've ever heard for getting someone pregnant. *Let me state- for the record- he was kidding about both of those things* I ended my rant by saying that I was tired of being responsible for every one's business and I refused to nag them until they got their stuff done anymore (Sean's eagle project, Lu signing up for birthing classes and registering at the hospital) and that they were now on their own. Sink or swim time. I have got to get them to take more responsibility for their lives. Then I mentioned how I knew this little meltdown wouldn't do any good and I'd see them same place same time next week.
And with that I went to bed. In bed was where I read all the twitter updates about the horrible tornadoes and damage to Joplin, Mo. And then I felt like a wretch. Here I was yelling at my family when people had just lost theirs. Instead of being thankful for the fact that I have a home, plenty of food, and my family around me- I was complaining. I was not remembering that it can all be snatched from you in an instant. And I was not remembering to value them. Why does it take a tragedy to remind of us these things? And how can we learn to filter what's truly important from what's truly petty? I dont' have these answers. I struggle with this in my own life. I went back out and told them that regardless of everything I loved them all and I would try not to meltdown anymore. They promised to try harder to be more helpful (emphasis on the word "try"). And then I went back to bed and asked the universe to help me remember not to take what I have for granted and to be a better mother, better wife, better person.
Life is short and unpredictable.
♥Spot
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The one where we discuss my work and other things...
I know my children are nearly adults. They know they are nearly adults. Somehow they just forget to act like it sometimes. And they still don't seem to realize that "working from home" includes the key phrase "working". Because I'm home most days, it still seems to fall to me to cook, clean & run our lives. You know; schedule doctors appts, grocery shop, deal with insurance, balance checkbooks, make travel arrangements, keep the calendar updated so people know when they're coming and going and who else is where. Oh and keep bored people entertained. And this is why my Facebook statuses so often proclaim that I'm incredibly happy to be home alone. Those are the days when I get things done. Those are the days when I spend from the time I get up until the time I go to bed working. And even after I go to bed if I'm reading an upcoming review book on my Kindle. Here are a few conversations we've had about my work lately:
Lu: (after coming home from work around 10 pm) Did you even call the insurance lady today?
Me: Of course I called her. Why would you think that I wouldn't?
Lu: Because you were working when I mentioned it before I left and when you work you're in your own little world so I wasn't sure you even heard me.
Me: It's called time management. I come up for air around 11:30 and take a shower, eat lunch and do any pressing household business before going back to work. But your utter lack of confidence in my abilities is heartwarming. Thanks.
After Sean got home from Scouts:
Sean: So all the guys were complaining about their mornings today and I told them how hard mine was. How I had to roll out of bed at 8:30 and then I had to eat Pop-tarts even though I hate them because you wouldn't make me breakfast.
Me: I was working. And you're a big boy.
Sean: Then they all wanted to know why you were still home at that time so I had to explain that you work at home and how you're a writer and all. They were hugely impressed.
Me: Aw. Thanks.
Sean: Well they were impressed until I told them about how you never used to burn supper and now you do it all the time because you're so caught up in work.
Me: Thanks. Thanks for that.
And this convo:
*Lu's friend at work recently had a boy baby and now the two of them are always joking about who will have a girl first.*
Lu: I told S about how you said I should probably get married before I had any more babies and we were laughing. She said you and Luke were probably in cahoots and you probably had my wedding dress stashed in your closet somewhere.
Me: I would never buy your wedding dress without you. But I might refuse to buy it at all if you continue having babies and don't marry the poor guy. Besides, there's no room in my closet.
Lu: I told her yeah, you'd tell me to put it on some day and say we were going out to eat and the next thing I'd know I'd be standing in front of the courthouse with a ring on my finger and a marriage certificate.
Me: Who wears a wedding dress out to eat??
Sean was just laughing through this conversation.
Me: I'm so glad I can provide both of you with fodder for entertaining your friends.
Sean: Don't even be like that. You know you're going to blog this conversation.
Well said Sean, well said. And now I have.
Happy middle of the week,
♥Spot
PS- Got a few extra minutes? Check out the short story I put up at The Author Spot. And if you leave a comment, I'll be extra happy.
Lu: (after coming home from work around 10 pm) Did you even call the insurance lady today?
Me: Of course I called her. Why would you think that I wouldn't?
Lu: Because you were working when I mentioned it before I left and when you work you're in your own little world so I wasn't sure you even heard me.
Me: It's called time management. I come up for air around 11:30 and take a shower, eat lunch and do any pressing household business before going back to work. But your utter lack of confidence in my abilities is heartwarming. Thanks.
After Sean got home from Scouts:
Sean: So all the guys were complaining about their mornings today and I told them how hard mine was. How I had to roll out of bed at 8:30 and then I had to eat Pop-tarts even though I hate them because you wouldn't make me breakfast.
Me: I was working. And you're a big boy.
Sean: Then they all wanted to know why you were still home at that time so I had to explain that you work at home and how you're a writer and all. They were hugely impressed.
Me: Aw. Thanks.
Sean: Well they were impressed until I told them about how you never used to burn supper and now you do it all the time because you're so caught up in work.
Me: Thanks. Thanks for that.
And this convo:
*Lu's friend at work recently had a boy baby and now the two of them are always joking about who will have a girl first.*
Lu: I told S about how you said I should probably get married before I had any more babies and we were laughing. She said you and Luke were probably in cahoots and you probably had my wedding dress stashed in your closet somewhere.
Me: I would never buy your wedding dress without you. But I might refuse to buy it at all if you continue having babies and don't marry the poor guy. Besides, there's no room in my closet.
Lu: I told her yeah, you'd tell me to put it on some day and say we were going out to eat and the next thing I'd know I'd be standing in front of the courthouse with a ring on my finger and a marriage certificate.
Me: Who wears a wedding dress out to eat??
Sean was just laughing through this conversation.
Me: I'm so glad I can provide both of you with fodder for entertaining your friends.
Sean: Don't even be like that. You know you're going to blog this conversation.
Well said Sean, well said. And now I have.
Happy middle of the week,
♥Spot
PS- Got a few extra minutes? Check out the short story I put up at The Author Spot. And if you leave a comment, I'll be extra happy.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The one where some things end and others begin.
So Sean turned seventeen last week. On Wednesday to be exact. How can seventeen years go by so fast? I remember the day of his birth to the second. Of course, considering his birth damn near killed me, I guess that's not so hard to believe. But I also remember most of his toddlerhood. Not that I've forgotten CJ's or Lu's, just that Sean has always been a memorable character. And he was sooo cute. Chubby little apple cheeks and light blonde curls. Stubborn and precocious even at three. Some things never change. He lost the chubby cheeks and his hair darkened considerably but the stubborn and precocious took up residence. We celebrated his birthday Friday night when the kids all came home from camp. Steaks and shrimp on the grill, twice baked potatoes, mushrooms sauteed in butter & garlic and crescent rolls with an amazing (and store bought) cake for dessert. It was a good night.
Then yesterday dawns and Sean and Lu and I get ready to head to town. We've decided to breakfast at Panera and then Lu has to work and Sean & I will head to the Mart of Walls to pick up a few last minute items on his list. He has to be in Keokuk by 4 to leave on his trip. When we walk outside to leave I notice that Sean's eyes are puffy and red. His dad mentions it too. Sean says they're itchy and he took benadryl, he just figures its because he hasn't been around the cats much. I'm dubious but let it go. By the time we get to Panera his cheeks are also suspiciously red (they always turned apple red when he was allergic to something as a little kid). I mention it and he says that yes, the itching is getting worse. I make a call to his doctors office but they are gone so we scarf breakfast and head to the ER. By the time we get there you can watch the hives popping out on his skin and his chest is getting tight. Thankfully, they rush us back to a room. The doctor comes in orders a breathing treatment and shots. One steroid and one benadryl. Thankfully, they all work. If not, added to the ER expense would have been the $1700 dollars we paid for his trip. Not cool. Not to mention his disappointment at missing out.
After we left the ER we ran to Walmart, got his stuff and sped home. Shower, pack the backpack and speed to Keokuk. We made it with two minutes to spare. There was a lot of preparation before loading the two buses and I got the rare opportunity of seeing my baby in action. The words "born leader" come to mind. He's efficient, in charge and the other boys listen to him. And I know you're all thinking I'm totally biased, but I could so get affidavits from other people (not related to him) who would say the same thing. I am so proud.
Finally, the load the buses. Sean and the other leadership core are the last to board of course. I sneak in one last hug and turn to one of the other mothers and confess that I think I might cry. Yes, I know he's seventeen. Yes, I know he's responsible and independent. Yes, I know he'll have the time of his life. But he's still my baby. And I've never been separated from him for two weeks before. Worrying about him? Well it's kind of a job requirement and damn it, I'm good at it. I ask another mother if she's worried about her son and she replies "No. Sean will take of him."
So he's off for two weeks to Gettysburg, Fort AP Hill Virginia and the 100th year of Scouting National Jamboree, then on to DC. He's going places I've never been and making memories that will last a lifetime. And I'm at home missing him and knowing that this is the closing chapter in his childhood and the beginning of his adulthood. I have the feeling that one is going to be a real page-turner.
Bon Voyage Baby,
♥Spot
Then yesterday dawns and Sean and Lu and I get ready to head to town. We've decided to breakfast at Panera and then Lu has to work and Sean & I will head to the Mart of Walls to pick up a few last minute items on his list. He has to be in Keokuk by 4 to leave on his trip. When we walk outside to leave I notice that Sean's eyes are puffy and red. His dad mentions it too. Sean says they're itchy and he took benadryl, he just figures its because he hasn't been around the cats much. I'm dubious but let it go. By the time we get to Panera his cheeks are also suspiciously red (they always turned apple red when he was allergic to something as a little kid). I mention it and he says that yes, the itching is getting worse. I make a call to his doctors office but they are gone so we scarf breakfast and head to the ER. By the time we get there you can watch the hives popping out on his skin and his chest is getting tight. Thankfully, they rush us back to a room. The doctor comes in orders a breathing treatment and shots. One steroid and one benadryl. Thankfully, they all work. If not, added to the ER expense would have been the $1700 dollars we paid for his trip. Not cool. Not to mention his disappointment at missing out.
After we left the ER we ran to Walmart, got his stuff and sped home. Shower, pack the backpack and speed to Keokuk. We made it with two minutes to spare. There was a lot of preparation before loading the two buses and I got the rare opportunity of seeing my baby in action. The words "born leader" come to mind. He's efficient, in charge and the other boys listen to him. And I know you're all thinking I'm totally biased, but I could so get affidavits from other people (not related to him) who would say the same thing. I am so proud.
Finally, the load the buses. Sean and the other leadership core are the last to board of course. I sneak in one last hug and turn to one of the other mothers and confess that I think I might cry. Yes, I know he's seventeen. Yes, I know he's responsible and independent. Yes, I know he'll have the time of his life. But he's still my baby. And I've never been separated from him for two weeks before. Worrying about him? Well it's kind of a job requirement and damn it, I'm good at it. I ask another mother if she's worried about her son and she replies "No. Sean will take of him."
So he's off for two weeks to Gettysburg, Fort AP Hill Virginia and the 100th year of Scouting National Jamboree, then on to DC. He's going places I've never been and making memories that will last a lifetime. And I'm at home missing him and knowing that this is the closing chapter in his childhood and the beginning of his adulthood. I have the feeling that one is going to be a real page-turner.
Bon Voyage Baby,
♥Spot
Monday, July 19, 2010
The one where it's "all about us" and we go on a mini-adventure
If you came here to read a blog post about my witty, sarcastic, intelligent, beautiful offspring then you should probably skip this post. Because they aren't factoring in to today's post. This one is just about me & Mike (so our fans can totally stay, pull up a chair and get a fresh cup of coffee). The kids were home this weekend, and chaos ensued, but then they left again Sunday morning. And do you know what? For the first time ever, I was actually glad to see their backs as they headed out the door. For real. I'm not sure if this makes me a bad mom or not. We'll figure that out in another post.
So it's Sunday and Mike & I are once again alone. It's funny because if you'd have asked me 6 months ago, hell, even 3 months ago, how Mike & I were going to be when the kids left I would have shrugged. We'd really come to a point where we did our own things. I had my writing, my friends, my kids. He had his job, his hunting, his friends and the kids. But honestly, we didn't spend much time together. We don't like the same kind of TV, movies or music. I adore the beach, he calls it the "big puddle". I love to travel, he'd rather be home. Mostly when we talked it was about the kids. When we did go out on rare occasions, after we'd exhausted the topic of our offspring, we ran out of things to say. It just became easier to spend our time apart. Did this worry me? Maybe a little, if I'm honest (and you KNOW that I am). But it wasn't like a "I'm divorcing you" kind of thing. I mean, I knew we still loved each other. I just thought I might be a bit lonely and bored when the kids were gone.
Funny how life happens, isn't it? Because since Mike's accident, we've spent scads of time alone. The time in the hospital doesn't really count. But once we came home we've had the opportunity to really spend a lot (all) of our time together. And what we've come to find out is that we do just fine. In fact, we do great. We can compromise on TV, movies and music. We can talk about his hunting and my writing. We can simply bask in each other's company. We can curl up together in the recliner and "snuggle". (We also tend to fall asleep that way, prompting Lu to call us "cute" and take photos. No, I will not post them.) And we can have fun together.
Yesterday, we went on a mini adventure. We had a rescue cat that needed a new home. The new home was in Chicago. The person to take her to the new home was in Pekin. So we got on MapQuest, figured out that Pekin was about the same distance from our house at Springfield and said "what the heck, let's go to Pekin". But there's really not much in Pekin that interested us, so we decided that after we dropped the cat off, we'd go to Peoria (another 25 minutes) and eat at Olive Garden and visit Barnes & Noble (okay B&N was really my idea, Mike's not so much).
The drive to Pekin wasn't too bad. Lots of two lane roads through the country. Unfortunately, MapQuest? Not so hot with the directions. We kept looking for our road to turn into the roads that MapQuest said it would, but that didn't happen. Fortunately, I'm handy with an Atlas and direction. So we made the turns we needed to and didn't get lost. We did see a lot of country side. And corn. And beans. And cows. And tiny towns. The tiny town of Astoria Illinois has the worst roads ever. Seriously there was a sign that said "rough road next 10 miles". Dude. Apparently they missed the 6 miles of rough road before the sign. And coming out of there? We got stuck behind "Ashy 89" (according to her license plates) who was doing 30 mph on a 55 mph two lane highway. And the road was all curvy and hilly so I couldn't pass.
Me: Why the hell are we going so slow?
Mike: Because we're stuck behind Ashy.
Me: Yeah, but why is Ashy going so slow?
Mike: (reading a roadside sign) Woodland Church of the Brethren
Me: That sounds like the church from Children of the Corn. Maybe Ashy's scared one of the Children of the Corn will jump in front of her car and that's why she's going so slow.
Mike: Maybe Ashy IS one of the Children of the Corn and she's driving slow so that they can get us.
Me: Um. My mind already went there and then shied away. Do you really want to play that game on these tiny roads hemmed in by corn??
Luckily, nothing got us. I did see a ton of little cemeteries, but I forgot my camera. Next time I'm bringing it and stopping. We made it to Pekin, dropped off the cat and headed to Peoria. Which is where we found out that Mike is a horrible navigator. Really. Just don't even listen to him. Thankfully, growing up in the backseat of a car gives you an innate sense of direction, a skilled ability to read highway signs, amazing powers of observation and a sense of adventure.
In Peoria we ate at Olive Garden. Mmmmmmm. Delicious. I had the mezzaluna ravioli with steak medallions. Mike had the Tour of Italy. And we shared dessert. Yummy. Thank you Peg and Dwight for the gift card!! Then we headed to the bookstore. They didn't have the books I wanted. And the ones they did have? Well, I can get them at Amazon cheaper. I did pick up a bargain book of vampire stories. Mike sat in a chair and waited for me.
Then we headed home. The drive back was easy. I knew exactly where to go. Mike would get a little antsy and be all "do you know where you're going?" or "are we on the right road?". But I did and we were. I'd point out things we'd passed to reassure him, but he didn't remember any of them. So then he fell asleep. And I meandered us back home.
It was a lovely day and a lovely adventure. I did feel a bit guilty that the kids missed Olive Garden because they are little foodies. But I did enjoy the peaceful drive. So when the kids move out for good? I think we're going to do just fine. No. I think we're going to do great.
Happy Monday,
♥Spot
So it's Sunday and Mike & I are once again alone. It's funny because if you'd have asked me 6 months ago, hell, even 3 months ago, how Mike & I were going to be when the kids left I would have shrugged. We'd really come to a point where we did our own things. I had my writing, my friends, my kids. He had his job, his hunting, his friends and the kids. But honestly, we didn't spend much time together. We don't like the same kind of TV, movies or music. I adore the beach, he calls it the "big puddle". I love to travel, he'd rather be home. Mostly when we talked it was about the kids. When we did go out on rare occasions, after we'd exhausted the topic of our offspring, we ran out of things to say. It just became easier to spend our time apart. Did this worry me? Maybe a little, if I'm honest (and you KNOW that I am). But it wasn't like a "I'm divorcing you" kind of thing. I mean, I knew we still loved each other. I just thought I might be a bit lonely and bored when the kids were gone.
Funny how life happens, isn't it? Because since Mike's accident, we've spent scads of time alone. The time in the hospital doesn't really count. But once we came home we've had the opportunity to really spend a lot (all) of our time together. And what we've come to find out is that we do just fine. In fact, we do great. We can compromise on TV, movies and music. We can talk about his hunting and my writing. We can simply bask in each other's company. We can curl up together in the recliner and "snuggle". (We also tend to fall asleep that way, prompting Lu to call us "cute" and take photos. No, I will not post them.) And we can have fun together.
Yesterday, we went on a mini adventure. We had a rescue cat that needed a new home. The new home was in Chicago. The person to take her to the new home was in Pekin. So we got on MapQuest, figured out that Pekin was about the same distance from our house at Springfield and said "what the heck, let's go to Pekin". But there's really not much in Pekin that interested us, so we decided that after we dropped the cat off, we'd go to Peoria (another 25 minutes) and eat at Olive Garden and visit Barnes & Noble (okay B&N was really my idea, Mike's not so much).
The drive to Pekin wasn't too bad. Lots of two lane roads through the country. Unfortunately, MapQuest? Not so hot with the directions. We kept looking for our road to turn into the roads that MapQuest said it would, but that didn't happen. Fortunately, I'm handy with an Atlas and direction. So we made the turns we needed to and didn't get lost. We did see a lot of country side. And corn. And beans. And cows. And tiny towns. The tiny town of Astoria Illinois has the worst roads ever. Seriously there was a sign that said "rough road next 10 miles". Dude. Apparently they missed the 6 miles of rough road before the sign. And coming out of there? We got stuck behind "Ashy 89" (according to her license plates) who was doing 30 mph on a 55 mph two lane highway. And the road was all curvy and hilly so I couldn't pass.
Me: Why the hell are we going so slow?
Mike: Because we're stuck behind Ashy.
Me: Yeah, but why is Ashy going so slow?
Mike: (reading a roadside sign) Woodland Church of the Brethren
Me: That sounds like the church from Children of the Corn. Maybe Ashy's scared one of the Children of the Corn will jump in front of her car and that's why she's going so slow.
Mike: Maybe Ashy IS one of the Children of the Corn and she's driving slow so that they can get us.
Me: Um. My mind already went there and then shied away. Do you really want to play that game on these tiny roads hemmed in by corn??
Luckily, nothing got us. I did see a ton of little cemeteries, but I forgot my camera. Next time I'm bringing it and stopping. We made it to Pekin, dropped off the cat and headed to Peoria. Which is where we found out that Mike is a horrible navigator. Really. Just don't even listen to him. Thankfully, growing up in the backseat of a car gives you an innate sense of direction, a skilled ability to read highway signs, amazing powers of observation and a sense of adventure.
In Peoria we ate at Olive Garden. Mmmmmmm. Delicious. I had the mezzaluna ravioli with steak medallions. Mike had the Tour of Italy. And we shared dessert. Yummy. Thank you Peg and Dwight for the gift card!! Then we headed to the bookstore. They didn't have the books I wanted. And the ones they did have? Well, I can get them at Amazon cheaper. I did pick up a bargain book of vampire stories. Mike sat in a chair and waited for me.
Then we headed home. The drive back was easy. I knew exactly where to go. Mike would get a little antsy and be all "do you know where you're going?" or "are we on the right road?". But I did and we were. I'd point out things we'd passed to reassure him, but he didn't remember any of them. So then he fell asleep. And I meandered us back home.
It was a lovely day and a lovely adventure. I did feel a bit guilty that the kids missed Olive Garden because they are little foodies. But I did enjoy the peaceful drive. So when the kids move out for good? I think we're going to do just fine. No. I think we're going to do great.
Happy Monday,
♥Spot
Monday, May 3, 2010
The one where the Universe gets even with me.
So it never fails...begin to whine about how much is going on in your life...even if you preface it with an "I know I am so blessed" and the Universe will smack you down. Every. Damn. Time. The cat will develop a digestive issue and throw up in an eight foot square on your light colored Berber carpet. Your home office will be invaded by a grumpy invalid in the form of your 18 yr old son.
Yesterday was going well. I managed to blog! I was going to attend two sessions at the online conference. I'd found a story to work on for my submission. Sean and I were in the middle of catching up on *Stargate Universe* when the phone rang. Sean answered it then handed it to me with a funny look on his face~
Me: Who is it?
Sean: I think it's Bobby, but something's wrong.
Me: Hello?
Bobby: (voice strained) I wrecked my bike. Ambulance is here. Get to hospital quick.
Me: On the way!
Sean and I flew out of the house. We called hubby on the way. He said he'd be there as soon as he could. Called Lu because she was at work in town and could get there quickest. I told her he'd had an accident and to meet us at the ER. I neglected to tell her he was alive. Oops.
As we make the 30 minute drive (in 20 minutes), Sean tries to make me laugh~
Sean: Remember the other day when you told him if he wrecked and was paralyzed, you weren't taking care of him because it was his fault??
Me: Yep. But I would, you know?
Sean: If he's in a wheelchair, I'm going to put him on the deck and leave him and then admonish him for not coming in out of the rain.
Me: That's funny. But mean! Hey! Now we can beat all his Wii scores.
We make jokes in this family to deal with stress. And he may not be my son by birth, but my heart was pounding just as bad as it would have if it had been one of the others. The whole ride I imagined the worst. Paralysis, spinal cord injury, broken legs, road rash, nerve damage. At least I knew he was alive and conscious. That ruled out major head trauma. Then Lu called~
Lu: He's alive!
Sean: We knew that. He called us.
Lu: Oh. I didn't know that.
Sean: Well we're almost there.
We got there and rushed back to the room. Lu and his girlfriend were standing outside. Xray was with him. I took in both tear stained faces and hugged them hard.
Lu: They think he broke his clavicle and messed up his left arm.
An EMT we know came up to me.
EMT: Hey, how you doing?
Me: Better now that I know what's going on.
EMT: Yeah. He'll be okay. He's in pain though.
Me: Thanks for bringing him in. Just can't keep them out of trouble.
EMT: He was more worried about his jacket than himself. He wouldn't let us cut it off.
Me: Doesn't surprise me a bit.
We got to go in. He'd been give painkillers but was still in pain. I hugged carefully and kissed the top of his head. His girlfriend's sister and mother came in. Then one of his managers from work came in. In a strange twist of fate, he'd happened by the accident scene, realized it was Bobby's bike and took it to his house so Bobby wouldn't have a towing and storage fee. He said it was in bad shape. (GOOD!) They took him to xray to get more pictures. Lu told me she'd just rushed out of work and to the hospital. She arrived at the same time as the ambulance. She cried the whole way.
After the xrays, he was in a lot of pain again, so I asked the nurse for another shot. About then his real Dad and his girlfriend showed up. His Dad talked to the doctor and me, while his girlfriend went in to check on Bobby. They didn't stay long, but well, things are awkward. I promised to keep them updated. The doctor came in and confirmed the broken left clavicle. Other than assorted bruises and scrapes that was it. They put a sling on it, gave us a prescription for painkillers and released him. We see the orthopedic doctor tomorrow. The first few hours were rough. It's a lot of pain. But luckily, thanks to the meds, he got some sleep. Not as bad today as long as we stay on top of the pain meds. It's going to be a long couple of weeks though. He can't drive and probably can't work.
But it could have been so much worse. All those things that went through my head could have happened. This is just a bump in the road and it too shall pass.
***Don't forget to tune in Wednesday for the giveaway results!!
♥Spot
Yesterday was going well. I managed to blog! I was going to attend two sessions at the online conference. I'd found a story to work on for my submission. Sean and I were in the middle of catching up on *Stargate Universe* when the phone rang. Sean answered it then handed it to me with a funny look on his face~
Me: Who is it?
Sean: I think it's Bobby, but something's wrong.
Me: Hello?
Bobby: (voice strained) I wrecked my bike. Ambulance is here. Get to hospital quick.
Me: On the way!
Sean and I flew out of the house. We called hubby on the way. He said he'd be there as soon as he could. Called Lu because she was at work in town and could get there quickest. I told her he'd had an accident and to meet us at the ER. I neglected to tell her he was alive. Oops.
As we make the 30 minute drive (in 20 minutes), Sean tries to make me laugh~
Sean: Remember the other day when you told him if he wrecked and was paralyzed, you weren't taking care of him because it was his fault??
Me: Yep. But I would, you know?
Sean: If he's in a wheelchair, I'm going to put him on the deck and leave him and then admonish him for not coming in out of the rain.
Me: That's funny. But mean! Hey! Now we can beat all his Wii scores.
We make jokes in this family to deal with stress. And he may not be my son by birth, but my heart was pounding just as bad as it would have if it had been one of the others. The whole ride I imagined the worst. Paralysis, spinal cord injury, broken legs, road rash, nerve damage. At least I knew he was alive and conscious. That ruled out major head trauma. Then Lu called~
Lu: He's alive!
Sean: We knew that. He called us.
Lu: Oh. I didn't know that.
Sean: Well we're almost there.
We got there and rushed back to the room. Lu and his girlfriend were standing outside. Xray was with him. I took in both tear stained faces and hugged them hard.
Lu: They think he broke his clavicle and messed up his left arm.
An EMT we know came up to me.
EMT: Hey, how you doing?
Me: Better now that I know what's going on.
EMT: Yeah. He'll be okay. He's in pain though.
Me: Thanks for bringing him in. Just can't keep them out of trouble.
EMT: He was more worried about his jacket than himself. He wouldn't let us cut it off.
Me: Doesn't surprise me a bit.
We got to go in. He'd been give painkillers but was still in pain. I hugged carefully and kissed the top of his head. His girlfriend's sister and mother came in. Then one of his managers from work came in. In a strange twist of fate, he'd happened by the accident scene, realized it was Bobby's bike and took it to his house so Bobby wouldn't have a towing and storage fee. He said it was in bad shape. (GOOD!) They took him to xray to get more pictures. Lu told me she'd just rushed out of work and to the hospital. She arrived at the same time as the ambulance. She cried the whole way.
After the xrays, he was in a lot of pain again, so I asked the nurse for another shot. About then his real Dad and his girlfriend showed up. His Dad talked to the doctor and me, while his girlfriend went in to check on Bobby. They didn't stay long, but well, things are awkward. I promised to keep them updated. The doctor came in and confirmed the broken left clavicle. Other than assorted bruises and scrapes that was it. They put a sling on it, gave us a prescription for painkillers and released him. We see the orthopedic doctor tomorrow. The first few hours were rough. It's a lot of pain. But luckily, thanks to the meds, he got some sleep. Not as bad today as long as we stay on top of the pain meds. It's going to be a long couple of weeks though. He can't drive and probably can't work.
But it could have been so much worse. All those things that went through my head could have happened. This is just a bump in the road and it too shall pass.
***Don't forget to tune in Wednesday for the giveaway results!!
♥Spot
Monday, March 8, 2010
I'm not lazy, I'm radical
So it turns out I'm a radical parent. Who knew? I thought I was just weird. But then I saw an advertisement for this show "Radical Parenting" on one of my favorite channels, Discovery Health. And yes, the fact that it's one of my favorite channels probably qualifies me as weird. The fact that Sean is addicted to it as well, and we've managed to suck Lu in a few times, probably doubles the qualification. Well I managed to DVR it and Sean and I watched it on Friday afternoon.
The program showed three different families with "radical" parenting styles. The first family were unschoolers. Unschoolers are homeschoolers who don't follow any kind of set curriculum. The let the kids learn through experience and set the tone for what they want to learn. I'd done some research on unschooling when we first decided to homeschool. I even knew a family in the area who "unschooled" their children. They came into the bookstore where I worked frequently and all three of their children were bright and inquisitive. A little lacking maybe in the social skills department, but um, the parents were a bit off kilter there as well. What we ended up doing was a mix of homeschooling and unschooling approaches. I didn't buy any set curriculum's, although there are a plethora of them to choose from. It just always seemed to me to defeat the purpose of why we were homeschooling to follow a set curriculum. I would still be trying to make my kids fit their thinking into a box. So I made up my own curriculum and we adjusted our schedule to fit the mood of the day. I won't call that unschooling because while the kids had a definite say, I still made the bulk of decisions and we still used some workbooks and had assignments. When we homeschooled for high school though, it was a large step closer to unschooling. Mostly because they'd already proved they were a step ahead of the norm and they were (are) inquisitive and motivated learners. If I had lazy students it would have been a different story. But it worked for us. I never thought of it as radical.
The people on the show let their kids make decisions about everything. When they went to bed, what and when they ate, what they wear. And I guess in some ways, we've run our house like that too. My kids have pretty much always dictated their bed times. Sean is an early to bed, early riser. And Lu has always been a night owl who thinks getting up before noon is "early". I stepped in and enforced an earlier bedtime only when they had to get up the next day. I think everyone's body rhythms are different so not everyone can keep the same schedule. Luckily, homeschooling allowed me to be accommodating. I have often let them pick their own meals, though not the time. We all eat together. That's just our family time. Sean and I now joke about who's turn it is to make breakfast and if I don't make it he'll say I'm "lazy". So when we watched the show and saw the kids getting their own breakfast I told him "Look! I'm not lazy. I'm radical. Which is way cooler. You're so lucky to have me."
Another family was "attachment parenting". This meant that they carried their baby in a sling or backpack everywhere. And let the kids sleep with them. Again, I didn't even know I was being radical. I never used a sling or a backpack, but I sure as heck lugged them babies everywhere. Especially Lu. That kid used to scream bloody murder when you set her down. I just carried her so she'd shut the heck up. I didn't know I was "attachment" parenting. But it may explain why, even now, when she's sick, she thinks I should be with her 24/7. Is there such a thing as too attached? And yes, our kids slept with us forever. It started because CJ hates to sleep alone. And of course, if one is there, you can't tell the others no. So no matter where they started out, their own beds, a pallet on the floor of our room, by 2 am we'd been invaded. And they slept mostly on top of me. I remember one night, when we had no air conditioning and all three toddlers were sprawled on top of me, looking over at hubby sleeping peacefully without even a chubby baby leg on him and thought "wow. I'm just going to melt into a puddle of sweat and no one will ever know what became of me. how is this fair??". Again, no idea I was radical. I just wanted to sleep through the night.
These parents also practiced "elimination communication". Say that three times fast! I dare you! Which essentially means no diapers. (eeewwww...) They pay attention to their babies cues that they need to potty. I'm drawing the line here. Especially if I'm lugging that kid around. I can only take being peed on so many times in one day, you know? But more power to you if you can do it.
The third parenting style was "gender neutral" parenting. This is where the parents let their kids play with anything. They let their boys wear mommies heels and have dollhouses. Is this radical, really? Sean and CJ both wore my heels from time to time. They both wore Lu's dress ups too. Sean and Lu played barbies together. Although, Sean's guy was always a GI Joe badass. Lu ran around with the neighborhood boys and played baseball and war. She went hunting with her dad and brothers. I never restricted the kids toys to gender appropriateness. Was I really being radical? Damn, I'm quite the rebel!
I can't wait to see what other radical parenting techniques I used! I'm pretty sure letting my kids run wild through the timber, play in creeks, climb trees and come back by dark is going to qualify me for "free-range" parenting. And the fact that I let my teenagers make a lot of their own decisions (and thus their own mistakes) is going to get me the "unparenting" badge. And maybe I can slide in on the "unconditional" parenting award since my kids didn't get bribes or routine punishments. And they know that I love them even when they screw up.
It's funny, because I thought I was just doing what felt right. And now I find out I was using all these radical techniques. Wow. I'm a pioneer in the field of parenting. Thank goodness my kids seem to be turning out well!! Can you imagine the criticism these movements would be getting if I'd raised a serial killer?? Or a teen mom? Everyone would be gunning for me..."gee thanks Spot. Way to ruin a whole movement." I guess the proof will be in their adulthood though. Check with me in ten years. Make sure the kids have made good lives for themselves. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed...
Are you a radical parent too?
♥Spot
The program showed three different families with "radical" parenting styles. The first family were unschoolers. Unschoolers are homeschoolers who don't follow any kind of set curriculum. The let the kids learn through experience and set the tone for what they want to learn. I'd done some research on unschooling when we first decided to homeschool. I even knew a family in the area who "unschooled" their children. They came into the bookstore where I worked frequently and all three of their children were bright and inquisitive. A little lacking maybe in the social skills department, but um, the parents were a bit off kilter there as well. What we ended up doing was a mix of homeschooling and unschooling approaches. I didn't buy any set curriculum's, although there are a plethora of them to choose from. It just always seemed to me to defeat the purpose of why we were homeschooling to follow a set curriculum. I would still be trying to make my kids fit their thinking into a box. So I made up my own curriculum and we adjusted our schedule to fit the mood of the day. I won't call that unschooling because while the kids had a definite say, I still made the bulk of decisions and we still used some workbooks and had assignments. When we homeschooled for high school though, it was a large step closer to unschooling. Mostly because they'd already proved they were a step ahead of the norm and they were (are) inquisitive and motivated learners. If I had lazy students it would have been a different story. But it worked for us. I never thought of it as radical.
The people on the show let their kids make decisions about everything. When they went to bed, what and when they ate, what they wear. And I guess in some ways, we've run our house like that too. My kids have pretty much always dictated their bed times. Sean is an early to bed, early riser. And Lu has always been a night owl who thinks getting up before noon is "early". I stepped in and enforced an earlier bedtime only when they had to get up the next day. I think everyone's body rhythms are different so not everyone can keep the same schedule. Luckily, homeschooling allowed me to be accommodating. I have often let them pick their own meals, though not the time. We all eat together. That's just our family time. Sean and I now joke about who's turn it is to make breakfast and if I don't make it he'll say I'm "lazy". So when we watched the show and saw the kids getting their own breakfast I told him "Look! I'm not lazy. I'm radical. Which is way cooler. You're so lucky to have me."
Another family was "attachment parenting". This meant that they carried their baby in a sling or backpack everywhere. And let the kids sleep with them. Again, I didn't even know I was being radical. I never used a sling or a backpack, but I sure as heck lugged them babies everywhere. Especially Lu. That kid used to scream bloody murder when you set her down. I just carried her so she'd shut the heck up. I didn't know I was "attachment" parenting. But it may explain why, even now, when she's sick, she thinks I should be with her 24/7. Is there such a thing as too attached? And yes, our kids slept with us forever. It started because CJ hates to sleep alone. And of course, if one is there, you can't tell the others no. So no matter where they started out, their own beds, a pallet on the floor of our room, by 2 am we'd been invaded. And they slept mostly on top of me. I remember one night, when we had no air conditioning and all three toddlers were sprawled on top of me, looking over at hubby sleeping peacefully without even a chubby baby leg on him and thought "wow. I'm just going to melt into a puddle of sweat and no one will ever know what became of me. how is this fair??". Again, no idea I was radical. I just wanted to sleep through the night.
These parents also practiced "elimination communication". Say that three times fast! I dare you! Which essentially means no diapers. (eeewwww...) They pay attention to their babies cues that they need to potty. I'm drawing the line here. Especially if I'm lugging that kid around. I can only take being peed on so many times in one day, you know? But more power to you if you can do it.
The third parenting style was "gender neutral" parenting. This is where the parents let their kids play with anything. They let their boys wear mommies heels and have dollhouses. Is this radical, really? Sean and CJ both wore my heels from time to time. They both wore Lu's dress ups too. Sean and Lu played barbies together. Although, Sean's guy was always a GI Joe badass. Lu ran around with the neighborhood boys and played baseball and war. She went hunting with her dad and brothers. I never restricted the kids toys to gender appropriateness. Was I really being radical? Damn, I'm quite the rebel!
I can't wait to see what other radical parenting techniques I used! I'm pretty sure letting my kids run wild through the timber, play in creeks, climb trees and come back by dark is going to qualify me for "free-range" parenting. And the fact that I let my teenagers make a lot of their own decisions (and thus their own mistakes) is going to get me the "unparenting" badge. And maybe I can slide in on the "unconditional" parenting award since my kids didn't get bribes or routine punishments. And they know that I love them even when they screw up.
It's funny, because I thought I was just doing what felt right. And now I find out I was using all these radical techniques. Wow. I'm a pioneer in the field of parenting. Thank goodness my kids seem to be turning out well!! Can you imagine the criticism these movements would be getting if I'd raised a serial killer?? Or a teen mom? Everyone would be gunning for me..."gee thanks Spot. Way to ruin a whole movement." I guess the proof will be in their adulthood though. Check with me in ten years. Make sure the kids have made good lives for themselves. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed...
Are you a radical parent too?
♥Spot
Friday, March 5, 2010
A trip to St. Louie....
So yesterday was the big day. Lu and I drove the two and a half hours to St. Louis for her appointment at Children's Hospital. We had to get up early and get ready and leave. Neither of us is good with early. Oh yeah, there was an emergency stop at Starbucks in our future. Because just in the half hour drive to the nearest town? I found myself creatively naming the other drivers and resisting the obscene urge to flip off absolutely everyone I happened to see. Convo~
Me: WTH?! Is today national drive-for-shit day and I missed the memo?
Lu: You didn't get that email?
Me: Damn spam filters! I miss all the good stuff.
But after fortifying myself with a Venti Caramel Frappachino, I was feeling a bit better. Oh, other people were still driving for shit, especially as we got into the city, but I was coping better. And then I was forced to whip out in front of a truck. Truly sorry, I hollered my apology~
Me: Sorry Mr. Truck Driver. It's national drive-for-shit day! Just doing my part!
I doubt he heard me. But thankfully he did not run us over.
We got to the hospital on time, found a spot in the parking garage and headed to the lab. We were done in minutes and Lu only squinched up her face a little bit when they took her blood. Then we proceeded to the ninth floor where her appointment was. Apparently every hospital pairs hematology with oncology. Because there was a waiting room full of kids waiting for chemo treatments. Yeah, I said kids.
We've gotten used to the waiting room at our cancer center, but it's very rare to see kids there. Sitting in a waiting room with children with cancer sucks the joy right out of your soul. As always, I look around feeling equal parts blessed (because my own children are cancer free) and guilty (because my own children are cancer free). And while Lu's disorder is serious enough, she's not dying. And she's not going through chemo. And she's getting to live her life, pretty much without restrictions. And it doesn't seem fair. And I know that life is rarely fair. But there just seems something cosmically wrong about small bald children in surgical masks stoically awaiting chemo. And while Lu sat with her nose stuck in her book (denial is that girl's best friend), I sat silently offering my many thanks to the powers that be that we are indeed fortunate and blessed in our daily life.
I know that one of the comments I received on my post about Lu's ITP said that they liked how I never seemed to ask "why us?". Well the credit for that has to go to Hubby. When we got CJ's autism diagnosis 17 years ago we were both still very young ourselves (22 & 20). And during one of my crying jags and our discussions I said exactly that. "Why US??! I did everything right for my pregnancy. I did everything I could to ensure a healthy baby! Why us?". My husband looked me right in the eye and said~
Husband: Baby, don't you think everyone who has something bad happen asks that same question? Do you think someone who's in an accident and is paralyzed looks up and says "well thanks God. I totally deserved that." Do you think parents of children who die think "you're right God. I needed to be taken down a peg or two." No, honey, they don't. It's not fair. Life isn't fair. But there's no use in asking "why?" because the only answer is "because". The question is "what are we going to do about it?". Because really that's all we can control.
That he had that attitude at 20 never ceases to amaze me. It was the last time I ever questioned why something happened. You get dealt your hand in life and the only thing you can control is how you play it.
As for Lu's appointment, they sure do things different in the world of pediatrics than they do in adult medicine. We had a female doctor come in, take the case history, and talk to us. She said they really don't treat kids unless their counts drop to 10,000. The hell? That seems scary to me. What if you need an emergency appendectomy? They won't even operate unless your count is 70,000. We discussed Lu's age at onset, the fact that she's moving in 6 months, and the fact that she is in those childbearing years. That Doctor left and brought in the head doctor (who I refer to now as Dr. McHottie. Because, well, wow.). He discussed some options and really made sure Lu understood the basics of her disease. The game plan? They are going to monitor her platelet counts for the next four months. If they stay above 100,000 and level off on their own it's okay to not treat. If they continue to drop or crash and get below 50,000 then we will look into a treatment called Rituxin. It would mean a weekly trip to St. Louis for a several hour infusion for four weeks. After that, she may be susceptible to colds and viruses for another 9 months, but then? Immune system back to normal, possibly cured for life!! Very few side effects. Me? I was like why can't we just do that, if it might cure it? Apparently the drug is not FDA approved for the treatment of ITP even though it's also used for that purpose. So most insurances don't cover it and it's very very expensive. Apparently, they don't understand that I will do whatever it takes (sell a kidney, sleep with a millionaire, humiliate myself in public, anything) to get her a cure. But for now, we wait.
So three hours later, we left the hospital. And then we hit the Galleria Mall. Three stories of shopping bliss, because why waste a trip to St. Louis? And the best part? She didn't even make me go into Aeropostle or Hollister. We did hit some awesome stores though. Victoria's Secret, Hot Topic and a funky little boutique called Francesca's. She also took me into Heritage 1981/Forever 21. Because somehow she ended up with a gift card to there. And this was the conversation:
Lu: C'mon let's go into Heritage 1981 and you can look at all the clothes you wish I'd wear.
Me: Huh?
Lu: You'll see. *she pulled me in and we started perusing the racks. finally she found me again* Did you find anything I might wear?
Me: No. But I found loads of stuff I'd wear if I was thinner. Look at these combat boots and this awesome skirt!!
Lu: Did you pull that out of your closet circa 1986?
Me: Yeah. I used my "hot tub time machine" to go back and get it.
She did end up with a dress, a shirt, a jacket and we both got necklaces. I only hope she has the guts to wear the dress because she looked amazing. =]
Have a wild & wonderful weekend,
♥Spot
Me: WTH?! Is today national drive-for-shit day and I missed the memo?
Lu: You didn't get that email?
Me: Damn spam filters! I miss all the good stuff.
But after fortifying myself with a Venti Caramel Frappachino, I was feeling a bit better. Oh, other people were still driving for shit, especially as we got into the city, but I was coping better. And then I was forced to whip out in front of a truck. Truly sorry, I hollered my apology~
Me: Sorry Mr. Truck Driver. It's national drive-for-shit day! Just doing my part!
I doubt he heard me. But thankfully he did not run us over.
We got to the hospital on time, found a spot in the parking garage and headed to the lab. We were done in minutes and Lu only squinched up her face a little bit when they took her blood. Then we proceeded to the ninth floor where her appointment was. Apparently every hospital pairs hematology with oncology. Because there was a waiting room full of kids waiting for chemo treatments. Yeah, I said kids.
We've gotten used to the waiting room at our cancer center, but it's very rare to see kids there. Sitting in a waiting room with children with cancer sucks the joy right out of your soul. As always, I look around feeling equal parts blessed (because my own children are cancer free) and guilty (because my own children are cancer free). And while Lu's disorder is serious enough, she's not dying. And she's not going through chemo. And she's getting to live her life, pretty much without restrictions. And it doesn't seem fair. And I know that life is rarely fair. But there just seems something cosmically wrong about small bald children in surgical masks stoically awaiting chemo. And while Lu sat with her nose stuck in her book (denial is that girl's best friend), I sat silently offering my many thanks to the powers that be that we are indeed fortunate and blessed in our daily life.
I know that one of the comments I received on my post about Lu's ITP said that they liked how I never seemed to ask "why us?". Well the credit for that has to go to Hubby. When we got CJ's autism diagnosis 17 years ago we were both still very young ourselves (22 & 20). And during one of my crying jags and our discussions I said exactly that. "Why US??! I did everything right for my pregnancy. I did everything I could to ensure a healthy baby! Why us?". My husband looked me right in the eye and said~
Husband: Baby, don't you think everyone who has something bad happen asks that same question? Do you think someone who's in an accident and is paralyzed looks up and says "well thanks God. I totally deserved that." Do you think parents of children who die think "you're right God. I needed to be taken down a peg or two." No, honey, they don't. It's not fair. Life isn't fair. But there's no use in asking "why?" because the only answer is "because". The question is "what are we going to do about it?". Because really that's all we can control.
That he had that attitude at 20 never ceases to amaze me. It was the last time I ever questioned why something happened. You get dealt your hand in life and the only thing you can control is how you play it.
As for Lu's appointment, they sure do things different in the world of pediatrics than they do in adult medicine. We had a female doctor come in, take the case history, and talk to us. She said they really don't treat kids unless their counts drop to 10,000. The hell? That seems scary to me. What if you need an emergency appendectomy? They won't even operate unless your count is 70,000. We discussed Lu's age at onset, the fact that she's moving in 6 months, and the fact that she is in those childbearing years. That Doctor left and brought in the head doctor (who I refer to now as Dr. McHottie. Because, well, wow.). He discussed some options and really made sure Lu understood the basics of her disease. The game plan? They are going to monitor her platelet counts for the next four months. If they stay above 100,000 and level off on their own it's okay to not treat. If they continue to drop or crash and get below 50,000 then we will look into a treatment called Rituxin. It would mean a weekly trip to St. Louis for a several hour infusion for four weeks. After that, she may be susceptible to colds and viruses for another 9 months, but then? Immune system back to normal, possibly cured for life!! Very few side effects. Me? I was like why can't we just do that, if it might cure it? Apparently the drug is not FDA approved for the treatment of ITP even though it's also used for that purpose. So most insurances don't cover it and it's very very expensive. Apparently, they don't understand that I will do whatever it takes (sell a kidney, sleep with a millionaire, humiliate myself in public, anything) to get her a cure. But for now, we wait.
So three hours later, we left the hospital. And then we hit the Galleria Mall. Three stories of shopping bliss, because why waste a trip to St. Louis? And the best part? She didn't even make me go into Aeropostle or Hollister. We did hit some awesome stores though. Victoria's Secret, Hot Topic and a funky little boutique called Francesca's. She also took me into Heritage 1981/Forever 21. Because somehow she ended up with a gift card to there. And this was the conversation:
Lu: C'mon let's go into Heritage 1981 and you can look at all the clothes you wish I'd wear.
Me: Huh?
Lu: You'll see. *she pulled me in and we started perusing the racks. finally she found me again* Did you find anything I might wear?
Me: No. But I found loads of stuff I'd wear if I was thinner. Look at these combat boots and this awesome skirt!!
Lu: Did you pull that out of your closet circa 1986?
Me: Yeah. I used my "hot tub time machine" to go back and get it.
She did end up with a dress, a shirt, a jacket and we both got necklaces. I only hope she has the guts to wear the dress because she looked amazing. =]
Have a wild & wonderful weekend,
♥Spot
Monday, February 22, 2010
Remember that one day we got snowed in? Oh yeah...it was today.
So I'm snowed in today. Yeah. For real. I was pretty sure things were headed that way yesterday when the snow just would not quit. I'm not sure all total how much we got...maybe 8 inches? And we already had some. They cancelled school for today at 8 o'clock last night. I texted my foster son and told him there was no way his car was making it home from town so he could stay with friends. My husband said on the news this morning they showed their "sky cam" pictures and the town was pretty much not moving. But out here...nobodys moving. That's the beauty or curse (whichever you prefer) of living off the beaten path. I mean...way off. After you turn off the highway...you drive eight miles down a little two lane blacktop. Then two miles up a hill and around some curves on a narrow gravel road. Then another 1/4 mile gravel driveway to my house. My husband plows the drive, so it gets done relatively quickly, although it's bad to drift. The other gravel road? Last road in the county to be plowed because it's the county line. Sometimes it's plowed before 3 in the afternoon. Sometimes not. And the blacktop. Well it's kind of a crap shoot too. So today? No one's going anywhere.
This is the deck in back. The railing...all fresh snow.
This is the front yard. Poor pine trees. It's really a heavy wet snow.
More front yard. Want to swing?
The dog's roof to her pen collapsed under the weight of the snow. Luckily, she was in her house. Hubby and genius boy went out to rescue her and make a new roof. Lu's cat wanted to go outside when I opened the door to take pictures, until he realized the snow was deeper than he was. Yes, Sean and I did laugh at him.
Ordinarily? This would be my dream day. I love being snowed in. Really. I keep my freezer and pantry stocked well (you know, in case of the zombie apocalypse) so we don't need food. We have a fireplace, in the event we lose power. I got videos from town yesterday. And Lu was already off work today. So it would be a good day to be snowed in. Except that I had somewhere to go today. Lu and I were going to pick up CJ and bring him home for a few days. We were so excited. We haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. But even if we could get out to the highway...the highway takes a southerly turn and they got hit worse than we did, oddly enough. And this highway is notoriously bad for being icy. They never seem to get it cleared well. Even if I wanted to risk mine (I would) and Lu's (I would not) lives to get there, I most assuredly would not risk his to bring him home. Lu is disappointed because it's her only day off this week and she wanted to spend it with her brother. It gets harder and harder to coordinate every one's schedule so that I can bring him home when everyone can spend time with him. The only saving grace is that I hadn't notified his school yet that I was coming to get him, so he doesn't know and won't be disappointed. He'll still be happily surprised if I show up tomorrow instead. But I'm in tears.
Some of you reading my blog are probably lost right about now. CJ is my nineteen year old son with autism. Not the kind of autism you see on TV. Not Aspbergers. More severe. He is nonverbal. He understands what we say and we back it up with some sign language but he can't talk back. He uses some signs (mostly when we insist upon it) and somehow gets his message across most of the time. He is amazing. He has the best most infectious smile of anyone I know. And big expressive eyes. He's friendlier than most autistic children and people fall in love with him easily. He loves to be cuddled, he gives kisses, and his sister is his favorite person in the entire world. He likes spongebob and jump ropes. He can Rollerblade with amazing agility and grace. He bikes so slow that the bike wobbles from side to side and I am amazed that it remains upright. His favorite food is frozen burritos. He can eat a whole bag in a day, if you let him. He loves candy and can sniff it out no matter where I hide it. He hates crowds and loud noises. When he's frustrated he bites the back of his hands. They are permanently scarred. Sometimes in frustration and anger he lashes out. You must be vigilant for the "head butt". My nose has been broken, my cheekbone and jaw fractured. Concussions also suck. He hates the time out chair. He loves playing in the snow.
He's been attending a residential school since he was nine. Do not judge me for this. I remember thinking once, when I was at a conference, that no way would I ever let CJ move from home. No one could take better care of him than his family. Didn't that mother love her child at all? But what I came to realize was that sometimes loving your child means doing what's best for them no matter how it breaks your heart. The difficult and continually painful decision to let him attend a residential school stemmed from the fact that our school district did not have the resources to provide him with the services he needed. Nor could we off the level of routine at home that he requires to make him feel safe. His increasing level of frustration put his sister and brother in danger as well as himself. The school he attends is amazing. While they accept children of all disabilities, in the last several years their focus has been autism. He receives cutting edge therapy from the SIU school of medicine. His teachers, aides, and homeworkers have all been trained and continue to be trained in helping people with autism. He lives in a group home setting with other boys his age. He gets to go on field trips and do activities on a regular basis. They have a set routine so he knows what to expect. There have been a few problems through the years, but they've been dealt with swiftly and mostly to our satisfaction.
We bring CJ home for visits as much as we are able. He goes everywhere with me when he's home. Grocery shopping, out to eat, ect. We get stared at alot. It's odd to see a nineteen year old holding his mother's hand or dropping it so that he can pirouette for no apparent reason. But we are used to the stares and pay them no mind. I use sign language in public to alert people that there is more going on than meets the eye. We plan alot of family activities when he's home so that he has a chance to be with us all. And when the visit's over and I take him home, I cry. It's like leaving a part of me behind. When we first took him to the school, I slept with one of his sweat jackets for weeks. Now I content myself with a pillow. I can't explain to you how gut wrenching it is to leave him behind. Mostly, he seems okay with it and doesn't seem to mind, but there are occasional times (mostly few and far between now) that he will keep hold of my hand or his sisters jacket and we barely make it to the car before bursting into tears. So don't doubt my love for my child.
CJ has taught me so much. He's taught me that love really can be unconditional. Because his is. He taught me about appreciating people of all abilities. He's taught me to be completely secure within myself. Not to worry what other people think. And that the most important thing is to be able to look at myself in the mirror each night and be able to say "I did my best today". Because in the end, that's what matters. That I do my best. And take responsibility for it. He taught me not to judge others. He taught me that laughing is better than crying. That I can't control what the universe throws at me, I can only control how I react. He taught me that my husband's love for our children is just as strong as mine. That we may express it differently, deal with it differently, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He taught us to be partners. He taught us not to blame each other for things beyond our control. He taught us that life is rarely fair, but that we could persevere through the bad times. He taught us that pain makes the good times that much sweeter and more dear. Without the rain, you wouldn't know to appreciate the sun. He taught us to live for the moments that take our breath away. And that life is a never ending journey of learning and discovery and growth. He taught me to not be ashamed to ask for help when I need it and to never turn down another's plea for help. And he's taught my children these lessons too. I firmly believe that the higher powers put people like CJ in our lives not as a punishment but so that we may learn from him.
CJ and Lu
CJ jumping on the trampoline with Sean and Lu
Me & CJ at his prom last year. Sean, Lu & I were all there.
This has been a heavy post. Thank you to everyone who's kept reading til the end. I've been crying steadily the entire time. Lu stopped in to see what I was doing and started crying too. So in the interest of not leaving anyone in tears...I'm going to include an anecdote that makes us laugh. It illustrates how humor has always gotten me through...
One day when CJ was about six, I took him shopping while the younger two were at preschool. We'd run several errands and it was nearing time to pick them up from school. I don't remember why CJ wasn't at school that day but he was definitely getting tired of the shopping. He'd recently started opening the door and escaping the house if my attention was distracted. I cannot tell you the fear that struck in my heart. So my last stop was to Shopko where I was picking up some hook & eye latches to place on the door, well above his reach. I promised him a bag of skittles if we could just get through this last stop. I quickly found what I needed, got in line and placed them on the conveyor belt, along with a bag of skittles. CJ kept reaching for the skittles and was growing more and more frustrated that I wouldn't let him have them. The lady in front of me was taking her sweet time paying and the store was crowded. I pleaded with CJ to be patient and give me a few more minutes. But I could tell we were rapidly approaching meltdown.
Finally, he could take no more. In an effort to convey to me his supreme frustration, he picked up the package of hook & eye latches and hurled them. They sailed over my cashier's head and landed on a register three lanes away. Everyone stared at me open-mouthed. I briefly considered explaining, which was my usual mode of operation, but I was almost as tired and frustrated as my child, so instead I sighed wearily and said "Do you suppose someone could pass those back, because I really need them." And that was it. They got passed back. The cashier quickly rang us up and finished the transaction. People continued to stare and I could almost hear the thoughts of "why didn't she yell at that kid. what a horrible mother! why can't she make him behave?". But I honestly didn't care. Because the only one I was responsible to was myself and CJ. I handled it the best I could at that exact moment. I don't owe anyone an explanation. And yeah, I still gave him the skittles.
I promise to be funny tomorrow...
♥Spot
The dog's roof to her pen collapsed under the weight of the snow. Luckily, she was in her house. Hubby and genius boy went out to rescue her and make a new roof. Lu's cat wanted to go outside when I opened the door to take pictures, until he realized the snow was deeper than he was. Yes, Sean and I did laugh at him.
Ordinarily? This would be my dream day. I love being snowed in. Really. I keep my freezer and pantry stocked well (you know, in case of the zombie apocalypse) so we don't need food. We have a fireplace, in the event we lose power. I got videos from town yesterday. And Lu was already off work today. So it would be a good day to be snowed in. Except that I had somewhere to go today. Lu and I were going to pick up CJ and bring him home for a few days. We were so excited. We haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. But even if we could get out to the highway...the highway takes a southerly turn and they got hit worse than we did, oddly enough. And this highway is notoriously bad for being icy. They never seem to get it cleared well. Even if I wanted to risk mine (I would) and Lu's (I would not) lives to get there, I most assuredly would not risk his to bring him home. Lu is disappointed because it's her only day off this week and she wanted to spend it with her brother. It gets harder and harder to coordinate every one's schedule so that I can bring him home when everyone can spend time with him. The only saving grace is that I hadn't notified his school yet that I was coming to get him, so he doesn't know and won't be disappointed. He'll still be happily surprised if I show up tomorrow instead. But I'm in tears.
Some of you reading my blog are probably lost right about now. CJ is my nineteen year old son with autism. Not the kind of autism you see on TV. Not Aspbergers. More severe. He is nonverbal. He understands what we say and we back it up with some sign language but he can't talk back. He uses some signs (mostly when we insist upon it) and somehow gets his message across most of the time. He is amazing. He has the best most infectious smile of anyone I know. And big expressive eyes. He's friendlier than most autistic children and people fall in love with him easily. He loves to be cuddled, he gives kisses, and his sister is his favorite person in the entire world. He likes spongebob and jump ropes. He can Rollerblade with amazing agility and grace. He bikes so slow that the bike wobbles from side to side and I am amazed that it remains upright. His favorite food is frozen burritos. He can eat a whole bag in a day, if you let him. He loves candy and can sniff it out no matter where I hide it. He hates crowds and loud noises. When he's frustrated he bites the back of his hands. They are permanently scarred. Sometimes in frustration and anger he lashes out. You must be vigilant for the "head butt". My nose has been broken, my cheekbone and jaw fractured. Concussions also suck. He hates the time out chair. He loves playing in the snow.
He's been attending a residential school since he was nine. Do not judge me for this. I remember thinking once, when I was at a conference, that no way would I ever let CJ move from home. No one could take better care of him than his family. Didn't that mother love her child at all? But what I came to realize was that sometimes loving your child means doing what's best for them no matter how it breaks your heart. The difficult and continually painful decision to let him attend a residential school stemmed from the fact that our school district did not have the resources to provide him with the services he needed. Nor could we off the level of routine at home that he requires to make him feel safe. His increasing level of frustration put his sister and brother in danger as well as himself. The school he attends is amazing. While they accept children of all disabilities, in the last several years their focus has been autism. He receives cutting edge therapy from the SIU school of medicine. His teachers, aides, and homeworkers have all been trained and continue to be trained in helping people with autism. He lives in a group home setting with other boys his age. He gets to go on field trips and do activities on a regular basis. They have a set routine so he knows what to expect. There have been a few problems through the years, but they've been dealt with swiftly and mostly to our satisfaction.
We bring CJ home for visits as much as we are able. He goes everywhere with me when he's home. Grocery shopping, out to eat, ect. We get stared at alot. It's odd to see a nineteen year old holding his mother's hand or dropping it so that he can pirouette for no apparent reason. But we are used to the stares and pay them no mind. I use sign language in public to alert people that there is more going on than meets the eye. We plan alot of family activities when he's home so that he has a chance to be with us all. And when the visit's over and I take him home, I cry. It's like leaving a part of me behind. When we first took him to the school, I slept with one of his sweat jackets for weeks. Now I content myself with a pillow. I can't explain to you how gut wrenching it is to leave him behind. Mostly, he seems okay with it and doesn't seem to mind, but there are occasional times (mostly few and far between now) that he will keep hold of my hand or his sisters jacket and we barely make it to the car before bursting into tears. So don't doubt my love for my child.
CJ has taught me so much. He's taught me that love really can be unconditional. Because his is. He taught me about appreciating people of all abilities. He's taught me to be completely secure within myself. Not to worry what other people think. And that the most important thing is to be able to look at myself in the mirror each night and be able to say "I did my best today". Because in the end, that's what matters. That I do my best. And take responsibility for it. He taught me not to judge others. He taught me that laughing is better than crying. That I can't control what the universe throws at me, I can only control how I react. He taught me that my husband's love for our children is just as strong as mine. That we may express it differently, deal with it differently, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He taught us to be partners. He taught us not to blame each other for things beyond our control. He taught us that life is rarely fair, but that we could persevere through the bad times. He taught us that pain makes the good times that much sweeter and more dear. Without the rain, you wouldn't know to appreciate the sun. He taught us to live for the moments that take our breath away. And that life is a never ending journey of learning and discovery and growth. He taught me to not be ashamed to ask for help when I need it and to never turn down another's plea for help. And he's taught my children these lessons too. I firmly believe that the higher powers put people like CJ in our lives not as a punishment but so that we may learn from him.
This has been a heavy post. Thank you to everyone who's kept reading til the end. I've been crying steadily the entire time. Lu stopped in to see what I was doing and started crying too. So in the interest of not leaving anyone in tears...I'm going to include an anecdote that makes us laugh. It illustrates how humor has always gotten me through...
One day when CJ was about six, I took him shopping while the younger two were at preschool. We'd run several errands and it was nearing time to pick them up from school. I don't remember why CJ wasn't at school that day but he was definitely getting tired of the shopping. He'd recently started opening the door and escaping the house if my attention was distracted. I cannot tell you the fear that struck in my heart. So my last stop was to Shopko where I was picking up some hook & eye latches to place on the door, well above his reach. I promised him a bag of skittles if we could just get through this last stop. I quickly found what I needed, got in line and placed them on the conveyor belt, along with a bag of skittles. CJ kept reaching for the skittles and was growing more and more frustrated that I wouldn't let him have them. The lady in front of me was taking her sweet time paying and the store was crowded. I pleaded with CJ to be patient and give me a few more minutes. But I could tell we were rapidly approaching meltdown.
Finally, he could take no more. In an effort to convey to me his supreme frustration, he picked up the package of hook & eye latches and hurled them. They sailed over my cashier's head and landed on a register three lanes away. Everyone stared at me open-mouthed. I briefly considered explaining, which was my usual mode of operation, but I was almost as tired and frustrated as my child, so instead I sighed wearily and said "Do you suppose someone could pass those back, because I really need them." And that was it. They got passed back. The cashier quickly rang us up and finished the transaction. People continued to stare and I could almost hear the thoughts of "why didn't she yell at that kid. what a horrible mother! why can't she make him behave?". But I honestly didn't care. Because the only one I was responsible to was myself and CJ. I handled it the best I could at that exact moment. I don't owe anyone an explanation. And yeah, I still gave him the skittles.
I promise to be funny tomorrow...
♥Spot
Monday, January 25, 2010
Did I say Lazy?? Whatev...
So I know that everyone is doing awards and blog bling on their 100th post, but you know me...I gotta roll different. So I'm doing some today on my 99th post. Because, well, because I can! But since I just did an award post earlier this month...I'll play the game but I'm not handing them out because I just did that. I will however point you in the direction of some talented people you should probably check out. But first a convo with Lulu from yesterday...
So I had planned to have a lazy weekend, but as everyone knows the best way to make the universe laugh is to make a plan. Lulu ended up sick on Saturday. She threw up all morning and slept all afternoon, with some mom cuddles in the middle. Luckily, she seemed fine the next day. And then, well, laundry was piled up, there was cooking to do and the boys wanted their taxes done. So I gave up and did housework. Lulu ended up taking my car to town yesterday as her's had a flat tire. She met some friends for lunch, saw a movie, hung out with another friend and then went to work to do inventory. Somewhere between leaving her friend's dorm and getting to work, she called me. I was carrying a load of laundry to the back of the house and the phone rang right as I passed by.
Me: Hello?
Lu: Why does it say "brake" on your dash?
Me: What?
Lu: Why is there a light that says "brake" on in the rpm thingy?
Me: Do you have the emergency brake on?
Lu: I don't know. Is it that pedal thing?
Me: Yes.
Lu: Oh. I may have hit it when I got in. How do I get it off? I tried pushing on it but it just keeps going down to the floor.
Me: Yes, you're just putting it on more.
Lu: Well how do I get it off??!
Me: There's a little thingy with a "P" on it on the left hand side by the steering wheel.
Lu: You mean...no. Oh. Right here. No. Um...here it is! But I pushed it and nothing happened.
Me: Because you're supposed to pull it!
Lu: oh! There we go! Thanks
I hung up shaking my head and explained to hubby. He said "I really worry about that girl. I'm not sure there's any hope for her." Does anyone remember that cartoon Dexter's Laboratory?? This is why we called her and Sean~ Dexter and Dee Dee.
So on to business...
First, I got tagged by Suzicate at The Water Witches Daughter. The rules are I have to tell you seven things about myself that you don't know. That's a toughie. I feel like you all have a pretty firm grasp on who I am. But here goes...
1. I hate Physics. Seriously. It was the only class in high school I actually studied for. And I still couldn't grasp it. I had to study with the class brain (who happened to be a good friend of mine and a brilliant girl) just to pull a C on the final exam. I worked so hard that the teacher (who was not known for her friendliness) put a smiley face on my exam. Seriously, for a C!
2. I can touch my nose with my tongue. Which is kind of gross but totally amazes small children.
3. I talk to strangers (whoa, what a surprise, huh?!). I always have. My parents hated this trait when I was small, but eventually gave up trying to make me quit. It sometimes frustrates my children as well. (Do you even know that person, Mom?? Well, I do now!) This is why I loved working at the bookstore. They paid me to talk to strangers about books, which I do for free anyway. Awesome, huh?
4. I love the snow and I want to move to Alaska someday. Or maybe somewhere else with mountains and lots of snow during the winter.
5. I'm really good at math. I can do complex problems in my head before my hubby can work them out on the calculator. I'm not especially fond of math, it's just a random ability. My dad has it. Sean has it. I can still beat Sean in speed, but probably not for much longer.
6. I love the color purple and I'm kind of a goth at heart. It fits doesn't it? I mean with all the scary stuff I like? Black is a staple of my wardrobe and I often have blue or purple fingernails. I try not to be too outrageous, since I have to attend functions for hubby's work. But since my birthday, I've decided life is too short not to be who we are and I'm getting ready to do some drastic things to my appearance.
7. Apparently (according to others), I have an amazing smile. I'm told it makes everyone think that I'm smiling just for them. My hubby says that my smile says "hi! Want to be best friends?" and that when I'm in conversation with people I also have the ability to make them think that they are the most fascinating person I've ever met, even when it's someone I can't stand or find seriously boring. I think it's the actress in me because sometimes I'm making a grocery list in my head, making mental notes for the next day's blog, or plotting their slow and painful death. It's pretty awesome that this doesn't come across to them.
There you go. Seven things you may or may not want to know! That's it for the tag game. I also need to send a big thank you to Heather at Welch Happenings and Angelia at Living, Loving, Laughing for bestowing on me this award:
Thank you to both of you! And now for some well deserved recognition:
If you haven't already, you should definitely check out Margarete at Beyond Breathing. Her blog is a beautiful tribute to her daughter Jena, whose life was cut tragically short by Cystic Fibrosis. Her blog is always inspirational, although you may want to have a few tissues handy. And I recently noticed I am on her blogroll, which makes me incredibly proud.
Also check out Tina at The Clean White Page. She is a majorly talented writer. I cannot wait until the day I get to order her first book off Amazon! And I have no doubt that I will one day be doing so! In Sean's words~ "She may be even better than you Mom." And I wholeheartedly agree.
I read many, many other blogs on a daily basis and they all have something to recommend them. But I don't usually follow the super popular ones unless they immediately catch my interest.
I did fix the comment thing on What Spot Saw, so if you feel like it, please peruse and comment. I'm going to get up a book review blog soon and possibly one with my fiction on it. Do not, under any circumstances, feel obligated to read or comment on them out of friendship. Life is too short to waste reading something you have no interest in! That said, you know I'm a huge comment and attention whore...Lol.
♥Spot
So I had planned to have a lazy weekend, but as everyone knows the best way to make the universe laugh is to make a plan. Lulu ended up sick on Saturday. She threw up all morning and slept all afternoon, with some mom cuddles in the middle. Luckily, she seemed fine the next day. And then, well, laundry was piled up, there was cooking to do and the boys wanted their taxes done. So I gave up and did housework. Lulu ended up taking my car to town yesterday as her's had a flat tire. She met some friends for lunch, saw a movie, hung out with another friend and then went to work to do inventory. Somewhere between leaving her friend's dorm and getting to work, she called me. I was carrying a load of laundry to the back of the house and the phone rang right as I passed by.
Me: Hello?
Lu: Why does it say "brake" on your dash?
Me: What?
Lu: Why is there a light that says "brake" on in the rpm thingy?
Me: Do you have the emergency brake on?
Lu: I don't know. Is it that pedal thing?
Me: Yes.
Lu: Oh. I may have hit it when I got in. How do I get it off? I tried pushing on it but it just keeps going down to the floor.
Me: Yes, you're just putting it on more.
Lu: Well how do I get it off??!
Me: There's a little thingy with a "P" on it on the left hand side by the steering wheel.
Lu: You mean...no. Oh. Right here. No. Um...here it is! But I pushed it and nothing happened.
Me: Because you're supposed to pull it!
Lu: oh! There we go! Thanks
I hung up shaking my head and explained to hubby. He said "I really worry about that girl. I'm not sure there's any hope for her." Does anyone remember that cartoon Dexter's Laboratory?? This is why we called her and Sean~ Dexter and Dee Dee.
So on to business...
First, I got tagged by Suzicate at The Water Witches Daughter. The rules are I have to tell you seven things about myself that you don't know. That's a toughie. I feel like you all have a pretty firm grasp on who I am. But here goes...
1. I hate Physics. Seriously. It was the only class in high school I actually studied for. And I still couldn't grasp it. I had to study with the class brain (who happened to be a good friend of mine and a brilliant girl) just to pull a C on the final exam. I worked so hard that the teacher (who was not known for her friendliness) put a smiley face on my exam. Seriously, for a C!
2. I can touch my nose with my tongue. Which is kind of gross but totally amazes small children.
3. I talk to strangers (whoa, what a surprise, huh?!). I always have. My parents hated this trait when I was small, but eventually gave up trying to make me quit. It sometimes frustrates my children as well. (Do you even know that person, Mom?? Well, I do now!) This is why I loved working at the bookstore. They paid me to talk to strangers about books, which I do for free anyway. Awesome, huh?
4. I love the snow and I want to move to Alaska someday. Or maybe somewhere else with mountains and lots of snow during the winter.
5. I'm really good at math. I can do complex problems in my head before my hubby can work them out on the calculator. I'm not especially fond of math, it's just a random ability. My dad has it. Sean has it. I can still beat Sean in speed, but probably not for much longer.
6. I love the color purple and I'm kind of a goth at heart. It fits doesn't it? I mean with all the scary stuff I like? Black is a staple of my wardrobe and I often have blue or purple fingernails. I try not to be too outrageous, since I have to attend functions for hubby's work. But since my birthday, I've decided life is too short not to be who we are and I'm getting ready to do some drastic things to my appearance.
7. Apparently (according to others), I have an amazing smile. I'm told it makes everyone think that I'm smiling just for them. My hubby says that my smile says "hi! Want to be best friends?" and that when I'm in conversation with people I also have the ability to make them think that they are the most fascinating person I've ever met, even when it's someone I can't stand or find seriously boring. I think it's the actress in me because sometimes I'm making a grocery list in my head, making mental notes for the next day's blog, or plotting their slow and painful death. It's pretty awesome that this doesn't come across to them.
There you go. Seven things you may or may not want to know! That's it for the tag game. I also need to send a big thank you to Heather at Welch Happenings and Angelia at Living, Loving, Laughing for bestowing on me this award:
Thank you to both of you! And now for some well deserved recognition:
If you haven't already, you should definitely check out Margarete at Beyond Breathing. Her blog is a beautiful tribute to her daughter Jena, whose life was cut tragically short by Cystic Fibrosis. Her blog is always inspirational, although you may want to have a few tissues handy. And I recently noticed I am on her blogroll, which makes me incredibly proud.
Also check out Tina at The Clean White Page. She is a majorly talented writer. I cannot wait until the day I get to order her first book off Amazon! And I have no doubt that I will one day be doing so! In Sean's words~ "She may be even better than you Mom." And I wholeheartedly agree.
I read many, many other blogs on a daily basis and they all have something to recommend them. But I don't usually follow the super popular ones unless they immediately catch my interest.
I did fix the comment thing on What Spot Saw, so if you feel like it, please peruse and comment. I'm going to get up a book review blog soon and possibly one with my fiction on it. Do not, under any circumstances, feel obligated to read or comment on them out of friendship. Life is too short to waste reading something you have no interest in! That said, you know I'm a huge comment and attention whore...Lol.
♥Spot
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Boy Genius...
So I don't know if anyone else was as bored as me saw the article on MSN's home page this morning about Kid Geniuses? Anyway, I was intrigued, so I read that article and then clicked through to another .one. The second article was on cracked.com so it was funny as well as informative. Then I saw something that caught my eye...
"Some consider William James Sidis the smartest man who ever lived, with an estimated IQ of 250 to 300. For the sake of comparison, you only have to have an IQ of 136 to be a mere run of the mill genius, and your average person is somewhere in the 85 to 115 range"
and I had to call in Sean, my very own Boy Genius.
Me: So I'm reading this article about child prodigies and guess what? You are just a run of the mill genius! You aren't even like a super genius or anything. And my IQ qualifies me to be a run of the mill genius too. What do you think of that??
Sean: Did you look at the pictures of those kids? I'm pretty sure I don't want to be that smart if I have to be that dorky. And that one? Yeah, he took a vow of celibacy. Are you kidding me? No way.
Me: He probably just wanted to not get distracted by the whole boy/girl thing.
Sean: Or he was a huge dork and couldn't get a girl to go out with him.
Me: This one was performing operations at 7! What were you doing at 7?
Sean: plotting total world domination.
Me: Oh yeah. You were a little scary back then. I'm just saying. If it hadn't been for those chubby little cheeks...
Sean: Obviously those kids are some serious overachievers with no idea how to have fun. I'm just pacing myself.
Me: well you better do something impressive soon. Slacker.
Sean: That's it! When I build the world's first spaceship built for long term space travel, you are soooo not invited.
Me: Whatever Mr. Average Genius Joe.
Seriously, can you imagine raising one of those little guys? Sean was hard enough. I wonder if the three year old kissed his mom before heading off for a hard day of college physics???
♥Spot
"Some consider William James Sidis the smartest man who ever lived, with an estimated IQ of 250 to 300. For the sake of comparison, you only have to have an IQ of 136 to be a mere run of the mill genius, and your average person is somewhere in the 85 to 115 range"
and I had to call in Sean, my very own Boy Genius.
Me: So I'm reading this article about child prodigies and guess what? You are just a run of the mill genius! You aren't even like a super genius or anything. And my IQ qualifies me to be a run of the mill genius too. What do you think of that??
Sean: Did you look at the pictures of those kids? I'm pretty sure I don't want to be that smart if I have to be that dorky. And that one? Yeah, he took a vow of celibacy. Are you kidding me? No way.
Me: He probably just wanted to not get distracted by the whole boy/girl thing.
Sean: Or he was a huge dork and couldn't get a girl to go out with him.
Me: This one was performing operations at 7! What were you doing at 7?
Sean: plotting total world domination.
Me: Oh yeah. You were a little scary back then. I'm just saying. If it hadn't been for those chubby little cheeks...
Sean: Obviously those kids are some serious overachievers with no idea how to have fun. I'm just pacing myself.
Me: well you better do something impressive soon. Slacker.
Sean: That's it! When I build the world's first spaceship built for long term space travel, you are soooo not invited.
Me: Whatever Mr. Average Genius Joe.
Seriously, can you imagine raising one of those little guys? Sean was hard enough. I wonder if the three year old kissed his mom before heading off for a hard day of college physics???
♥Spot
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The one where Lulu acts like a 5-yr old and Sean tries to get me arrested...
First off...my apologies for not blogging the last two days. Thursday my folks stayed until about 2 before they went home and quite honestly I was too exhausted to do anything else the rest of the day. Like I didn't even cook dinner for my family. My hubby heated me up something in the microwave. I probably lost a corner from my "50's housewife" card or something! But it was a good visit with my parents and there will be more on that in the days to come.
And yesterday? Well I fully intended to blog when I got home from town but again with the tired. Okay. And we decided to watch a movie. But I commented on some blogs so that should totally count for something! We went to town yesterday for my dr. appt, Sean's appt, grocery shopping, to get movies and pick up med refills. It was not the best day ever. I have to go back to the doctor in 2 weeks so that's never good. Sean has a pretty good case of pneumonia. I had to go to 3 different grocery stores. And we never did get to see our friend K and her brand new baby M, which was the sole reason Lulu tagged along to town.
Now most of the time, I adore spending time with my children. With Lulu so recently moved back into the house, the dynamics are slightly off. And both children were slightly cranky yesterday. Sean due to the pneumonia and Lulu, well, because she can be?? So they were bickering with each other as well as me. By the time we hit Sean's appt, I had a headache. But as usual, his visit was a riot. My kids see a Nurse practitioner that they've been seeing since their old doctor retired about 8 years ago. She's a fantastic doctor. She and Sean have always had a very sarcastic relationship. So we leave Lu in the waiting room with her book and go back to the exam room. The nurse tells us that there is an NP in training and is it okay if she sees us first? No prob. She comes in and does her exam. Sean is on his best behavior, oddly enough. When she finishes, his regular NP comes in~
NP: Were you nice to her?
Sean: Of course!
NP: You can be as smartass to me as you like but you better be nice to new people.
New NP: (looks totally confused) He was nice to me.
NP: So what's going on? No. Wait. Let me guess...you have a fever and a cough? Geez. Can't you come up with something new? It's always the same with you. Pneumonia.
Me: He says he knew he was getting sick on Friday last week and still went to the polar bear camp out this weekend.
Sean: well I was already getting sick so what was the difference?
NP: What kind of stupid man logic is that?
Sean: if I stayed home every time I thought I might be getting sick, I'd never go anywhere!!
*** so then the NP stops and discusses some of Lulu's stuff with me for a minute. The outcome being that Lulu needs to get her flu shots and they can work those in today since she's in town with me. Then she turns back to Sean***
NP: Okay, it's all about you again. I'm your most humble servant.
Sean: You are anything but humble.
NP: Watch out pot...you're talking to the kettle. At least I don't need a garage size door to fit my inflated ego head into my house.
***they decide to do blood work to check for mycroplasm (the walking pneumonia germ) even though we all know it will be positive. Sean goes to the lab to get blood drawn and I go to the waiting room to tell Lu the nurse is going to call her to get her flu shots. She has a fit. Seriously, I mean like a five year old. Now, she hates shots but for real?! The H1N1 shot has saved lives this year. Could she be more ridiculous?***
Me: You're all the time wanting to be treated like an adult and right now you're behaving like a spoiled 5-yr old. That is what I'll treat you like.
Lu: Good! I don't care. I don't want flu shots.
Me: You don't want alot of things. That doesn't mean you don't need them. Are you going to make your children get shots?
Lu: Yes.
Me: Well then?
Lu: Not after they're eighteen. The choice should be theirs then.
Me: Why? Quite obviously, the good decision fairy does not come along and tap you on the head just because you turn eighteen.
Lu: *sticks her tongue out at me*
***the nurse comes and gets us. Lu gets numbing spray and shiny band aids. They even offer her a sucker. She whines about her arm hurting. I give up and take them both to lunch at Jimmy Johns. Where I try to ignore Lu as much as possible when you're sitting next to someone. Which leads to me reading the signs on the wall. Then I read one out loud***
Me: We'd love to see you NAKED but state health code requires the wearing of shirts and shoes.
Sean: Huh. Well since pants don't seem to be a requirement I'm not wearing any next time I come here.
Me: I think they just figure most people don't walk around pantless.
Sean: I'm not most people.
Me: Truer words were never spoken.
***Lu does get over her tantrum, although she continues to claim her arm is going to fall off. By the time we get through the second grocery store, I have a monster headache and I just want to go home and put on my pjs. And spend some time not with my children. At the checkout***
Me: You're supposed to push the cart a little around the side Sean.
Sean: well that's not how I do it.
Me: okay but I have to have room to get to the little thingy to write my check.
Lu: you should get a debit card. Checks take forever.
Me: (under my breath) I cannot wait to get home and get away from you two.
Cashier: (starts laughing hysterically)
Sean: What did you say?!
Me: Nothing dear. I love you.
Sean: (looks at cashier all serious like) She beats me.
Cashier: (more laughter)Really?
Me: No one believes you Sean. I think I'd have a better chance convincing people that you beat me.
Sean: show me the bruises.
Me: Oh honey. They're all on the inside.
Thankfully no one was really harmed in the making of this blog. I got about 30 minutes of peace eventually. Later, when I was telling hubby about my day I said~
Me: I'm exhausted. You're kids drove me crazy today.
Hubby: Yeah, I thought you were crazy taking both of them.
Me: Maybe next time you could say something, you know, before I do it.
♥Spot
And yesterday? Well I fully intended to blog when I got home from town but again with the tired. Okay. And we decided to watch a movie. But I commented on some blogs so that should totally count for something! We went to town yesterday for my dr. appt, Sean's appt, grocery shopping, to get movies and pick up med refills. It was not the best day ever. I have to go back to the doctor in 2 weeks so that's never good. Sean has a pretty good case of pneumonia. I had to go to 3 different grocery stores. And we never did get to see our friend K and her brand new baby M, which was the sole reason Lulu tagged along to town.
Now most of the time, I adore spending time with my children. With Lulu so recently moved back into the house, the dynamics are slightly off. And both children were slightly cranky yesterday. Sean due to the pneumonia and Lulu, well, because she can be?? So they were bickering with each other as well as me. By the time we hit Sean's appt, I had a headache. But as usual, his visit was a riot. My kids see a Nurse practitioner that they've been seeing since their old doctor retired about 8 years ago. She's a fantastic doctor. She and Sean have always had a very sarcastic relationship. So we leave Lu in the waiting room with her book and go back to the exam room. The nurse tells us that there is an NP in training and is it okay if she sees us first? No prob. She comes in and does her exam. Sean is on his best behavior, oddly enough. When she finishes, his regular NP comes in~
NP: Were you nice to her?
Sean: Of course!
NP: You can be as smartass to me as you like but you better be nice to new people.
New NP: (looks totally confused) He was nice to me.
NP: So what's going on? No. Wait. Let me guess...you have a fever and a cough? Geez. Can't you come up with something new? It's always the same with you. Pneumonia.
Me: He says he knew he was getting sick on Friday last week and still went to the polar bear camp out this weekend.
Sean: well I was already getting sick so what was the difference?
NP: What kind of stupid man logic is that?
Sean: if I stayed home every time I thought I might be getting sick, I'd never go anywhere!!
*** so then the NP stops and discusses some of Lulu's stuff with me for a minute. The outcome being that Lulu needs to get her flu shots and they can work those in today since she's in town with me. Then she turns back to Sean***
NP: Okay, it's all about you again. I'm your most humble servant.
Sean: You are anything but humble.
NP: Watch out pot...you're talking to the kettle. At least I don't need a garage size door to fit my inflated ego head into my house.
***they decide to do blood work to check for mycroplasm (the walking pneumonia germ) even though we all know it will be positive. Sean goes to the lab to get blood drawn and I go to the waiting room to tell Lu the nurse is going to call her to get her flu shots. She has a fit. Seriously, I mean like a five year old. Now, she hates shots but for real?! The H1N1 shot has saved lives this year. Could she be more ridiculous?***
Me: You're all the time wanting to be treated like an adult and right now you're behaving like a spoiled 5-yr old. That is what I'll treat you like.
Lu: Good! I don't care. I don't want flu shots.
Me: You don't want alot of things. That doesn't mean you don't need them. Are you going to make your children get shots?
Lu: Yes.
Me: Well then?
Lu: Not after they're eighteen. The choice should be theirs then.
Me: Why? Quite obviously, the good decision fairy does not come along and tap you on the head just because you turn eighteen.
Lu: *sticks her tongue out at me*
***the nurse comes and gets us. Lu gets numbing spray and shiny band aids. They even offer her a sucker. She whines about her arm hurting. I give up and take them both to lunch at Jimmy Johns. Where I try to ignore Lu as much as possible when you're sitting next to someone. Which leads to me reading the signs on the wall. Then I read one out loud***
Me: We'd love to see you NAKED but state health code requires the wearing of shirts and shoes.
Sean: Huh. Well since pants don't seem to be a requirement I'm not wearing any next time I come here.
Me: I think they just figure most people don't walk around pantless.
Sean: I'm not most people.
Me: Truer words were never spoken.
***Lu does get over her tantrum, although she continues to claim her arm is going to fall off. By the time we get through the second grocery store, I have a monster headache and I just want to go home and put on my pjs. And spend some time not with my children. At the checkout***
Me: You're supposed to push the cart a little around the side Sean.
Sean: well that's not how I do it.
Me: okay but I have to have room to get to the little thingy to write my check.
Lu: you should get a debit card. Checks take forever.
Me: (under my breath) I cannot wait to get home and get away from you two.
Cashier: (starts laughing hysterically)
Sean: What did you say?!
Me: Nothing dear. I love you.
Sean: (looks at cashier all serious like) She beats me.
Cashier: (more laughter)Really?
Me: No one believes you Sean. I think I'd have a better chance convincing people that you beat me.
Sean: show me the bruises.
Me: Oh honey. They're all on the inside.
Thankfully no one was really harmed in the making of this blog. I got about 30 minutes of peace eventually. Later, when I was telling hubby about my day I said~
Me: I'm exhausted. You're kids drove me crazy today.
Hubby: Yeah, I thought you were crazy taking both of them.
Me: Maybe next time you could say something, you know, before I do it.
♥Spot
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A convo with Lulu...
So yesterday was one of "those days". You know, the ones where you bust your ass right up til bedtime? While I was out of town, the dirty laundry fairy apparently visited my house because I swear to Bob, every damn piece of clothing anyone owns in our house was in the dirty laundry pile. Seriously, I was almost afraid it was going to spring to life and start gobbling up cats or something. Add to this I have a sick child and my parents are coming tonight for a visit. Can we say mega-panic-mode? So here's how the day went:
I got up at 7 and got coffee. Logged on and started doing blog stuff, checking emails. Told husband to go wake up Bobby because he had a dentist appointment and if he didn't get up right now, he would miss it. Reminded Lulu of the time so that she would get off to work on time. Finally got the three of them out of the house. Made Sean something to eat and watched a DVR'd episode of Sanctuary with him. Got him settled in the family room and started on the laundry. Got a roast and potatoes in the crock pot and rolls in the pan to rise. Went back downstairs to clean kitty boxes and make boys beds, straighten their room and sweep. More laundry. Called my Dad to make sure they are still coming and warn them that Sean is sick. Discussed dinner plans for their visit. Made beds. Cleaned bathroom, my bedroom, Lu's bedroom, living room, and family room. Insert more laundry randomly. Also fixed Sean ham, egg, pepper jack cheese roll up for lunch. Loaded and ran dishwasher. Got a phone call from Manager of store who wanted to know if Lu had found a job. Relayed message to Lu so she could stop in after work. Finally took a shower. Proceeded to make mashed potatoes (I like mashed, hubby likes roasted), carrots with butter and brown sugar and bake the rolls to finish up supper. More laundry. Listened to Lu's day when she got home. Served and ate dinner. Finished wrapping parents Christmas gifts. Made and sewed pom-poms on two scarves I'd made for other people. Final laundry load folded and put away. Soooo ready for bed. Get ready, climb in, and Bobby gets home from work, and he and Lu pile on my bed for conversation. 11:45 pm...pass out. Add to that the fact that my body was in revolt from having no "down days" in the last week. Had to take an extra muscle relaxer after dinner.
After dinner Lu had invited DEBF (whose name will from now one be changed to EBIC~ ex boyfriend in counseling since he stopped drinking and is in outpatient counseling). She had decided that while she still cares about him deeply, it's not the romantic "I want to spend my life with you forever" thing it used to be. She'd put so much effort into getting over him that things had changed. And she needed to let him know that while she wanted to be friends and support his efforts, there wasn't a romantic chance for them. Obviously, this went over like a lead balloon. So he leaves and Lu goes to the bathroom and comes into her room and lays on the bed. I've finished wrapping and am delivering her laundry so I lay down beside her as she usually wants a cuddle and a chat after something like that. She snaps "I didn't invite you to lay down." Well, after the day I'd had, it royally pissed me off. In fact, I'm kind of still pissed off. Anyway, I left, got out my sewing and claimed the family room couch and TV. Eventually she wandered in and lay down on the floor. She tried to make conversation but I pretty much ignored her. Then I told her "I'm pretty pissed at you. That was extremely rude. A simple, I don't feel like talking about it would have done." She said she knew and she was sorry, she hadn't meant it to come out mean, she just wanted some time alone. Then the following convo~
Lu~ I think you should write a blog about being a mom.
Me~ isn't that what I do?
Lu~ No. I mean yes. But your blog is usually funny incidents. I think you should write one with Mom tips. Like how to be a better Mom. Because you're amazing at it. And some moms suck and maybe they'd read your tips and be better.
Me~ I'm not wearing my rubber boots, maybe you could stop stacking the shit so high in here.
Lu~ I'm not just saying it. Really. I mean look at all you did today! I'd never be that motivated. And you cooked Sean like three meals today. And lunch must have been awesome because he told me all about it.
Me~ Yep. I'm awesome and way unappreciated. But flattery is not making me less upset with you. You really really hurt my feelings. I never turn you away when you crawl onto my bed or want to talk. I've never said "I'm really busy, can we do this later?" the way my mom used to. Never. I am always there for you and drop everything if you or your brothers need something. I don't deserve to be treated like that. No one does.
Lu~ I know. And I really am sorry. I really didn't mean it the way it came out. I was just upset. I hate hurting him and seeing him cry. Can I have that cuddle now?
Me~ I suppose. (at which point she crawled up on the couch with me and we finished the movie I was watching. And then she offered to get the last load of laundry so I guess something good came out of it.)
Having semi-adult children is hard. I'm not sure I'm going to survive. Or maybe I just need to toughen up.
Anywho...on a different note entirely...I started the movie review blog. What Spot Saw.... Check it out if you like, I posted a link on the sidebar. Hope you like it. =] And on another good note...my parents are bringing pizzas and I don't have to cook. And I get Christmas presents!! And I get to give them theirs! And I know the kids got books and movies that I can make them share. And I know I got chocolate! So things are looking up...
♥Spot
I got up at 7 and got coffee. Logged on and started doing blog stuff, checking emails. Told husband to go wake up Bobby because he had a dentist appointment and if he didn't get up right now, he would miss it. Reminded Lulu of the time so that she would get off to work on time. Finally got the three of them out of the house. Made Sean something to eat and watched a DVR'd episode of Sanctuary with him. Got him settled in the family room and started on the laundry. Got a roast and potatoes in the crock pot and rolls in the pan to rise. Went back downstairs to clean kitty boxes and make boys beds, straighten their room and sweep. More laundry. Called my Dad to make sure they are still coming and warn them that Sean is sick. Discussed dinner plans for their visit. Made beds. Cleaned bathroom, my bedroom, Lu's bedroom, living room, and family room. Insert more laundry randomly. Also fixed Sean ham, egg, pepper jack cheese roll up for lunch. Loaded and ran dishwasher. Got a phone call from Manager of store who wanted to know if Lu had found a job. Relayed message to Lu so she could stop in after work. Finally took a shower. Proceeded to make mashed potatoes (I like mashed, hubby likes roasted), carrots with butter and brown sugar and bake the rolls to finish up supper. More laundry. Listened to Lu's day when she got home. Served and ate dinner. Finished wrapping parents Christmas gifts. Made and sewed pom-poms on two scarves I'd made for other people. Final laundry load folded and put away. Soooo ready for bed. Get ready, climb in, and Bobby gets home from work, and he and Lu pile on my bed for conversation. 11:45 pm...pass out. Add to that the fact that my body was in revolt from having no "down days" in the last week. Had to take an extra muscle relaxer after dinner.
After dinner Lu had invited DEBF (whose name will from now one be changed to EBIC~ ex boyfriend in counseling since he stopped drinking and is in outpatient counseling). She had decided that while she still cares about him deeply, it's not the romantic "I want to spend my life with you forever" thing it used to be. She'd put so much effort into getting over him that things had changed. And she needed to let him know that while she wanted to be friends and support his efforts, there wasn't a romantic chance for them. Obviously, this went over like a lead balloon. So he leaves and Lu goes to the bathroom and comes into her room and lays on the bed. I've finished wrapping and am delivering her laundry so I lay down beside her as she usually wants a cuddle and a chat after something like that. She snaps "I didn't invite you to lay down." Well, after the day I'd had, it royally pissed me off. In fact, I'm kind of still pissed off. Anyway, I left, got out my sewing and claimed the family room couch and TV. Eventually she wandered in and lay down on the floor. She tried to make conversation but I pretty much ignored her. Then I told her "I'm pretty pissed at you. That was extremely rude. A simple, I don't feel like talking about it would have done." She said she knew and she was sorry, she hadn't meant it to come out mean, she just wanted some time alone. Then the following convo~
Lu~ I think you should write a blog about being a mom.
Me~ isn't that what I do?
Lu~ No. I mean yes. But your blog is usually funny incidents. I think you should write one with Mom tips. Like how to be a better Mom. Because you're amazing at it. And some moms suck and maybe they'd read your tips and be better.
Me~ I'm not wearing my rubber boots, maybe you could stop stacking the shit so high in here.
Lu~ I'm not just saying it. Really. I mean look at all you did today! I'd never be that motivated. And you cooked Sean like three meals today. And lunch must have been awesome because he told me all about it.
Me~ Yep. I'm awesome and way unappreciated. But flattery is not making me less upset with you. You really really hurt my feelings. I never turn you away when you crawl onto my bed or want to talk. I've never said "I'm really busy, can we do this later?" the way my mom used to. Never. I am always there for you and drop everything if you or your brothers need something. I don't deserve to be treated like that. No one does.
Lu~ I know. And I really am sorry. I really didn't mean it the way it came out. I was just upset. I hate hurting him and seeing him cry. Can I have that cuddle now?
Me~ I suppose. (at which point she crawled up on the couch with me and we finished the movie I was watching. And then she offered to get the last load of laundry so I guess something good came out of it.)
Having semi-adult children is hard. I'm not sure I'm going to survive. Or maybe I just need to toughen up.
Anywho...on a different note entirely...I started the movie review blog. What Spot Saw.... Check it out if you like, I posted a link on the sidebar. Hope you like it. =] And on another good note...my parents are bringing pizzas and I don't have to cook. And I get Christmas presents!! And I get to give them theirs! And I know the kids got books and movies that I can make them share. And I know I got chocolate! So things are looking up...
♥Spot
Thursday, December 17, 2009
So 40 is the new 20...
Or so I'm told. Between my sister and my J (my friend from high school) I'm pretty sure the entire universe now knows that I'm 40. Well, if you're expecting me to act like it, you totally have another thing coming because it ain't happening. They say your only as old as you act so I'm pretty sure I can stay in my twenties forever. =]
Oh my stars! Where has the last week gone?? I feel like I was caught up in some space time tunnel without a flux capacitor. Or a pulse phase converter. Yes, I did spend too much time with Sean and my brother in law last week. Actually, I'm really having a hard time getting "back to business" so to speak. With the rush on to finish Christmas shopping and decorating and the fact that my bday turned into a week long celebration in two states I feel kind of flustered. Or maybe it's just old age setting in.
So, I will finish up the Disco Chronicles in the next couple of days. But today I will update you on the last week. Our trip to Ohio was awesome. We had cold, but clear driving weather the entire time. I got to Christmas shop with my sister, which is something we don't normally get to do and it was so much fun! She threw me a party Saturday night with her friends and our cousins and it was great. We stopped on the way home from her house and had lunch with my friend J in Indy. That was two hours worth of amazing. I really wish I got to see her more often. Sean stated after lunch that he could totally understand why we were friends because we were so much alike. Then we stopped at my parents in Springfield and had an awesome dinner and presents and cheesecake! We got home Tuesday and Mo came down and we went to dinner, just the four of us then came home and watched videos.
They got me awesome gifts and I will even forgive the black balloons. Luke didn't make it but he did send the cake, which he made.
Tonight we are having dinner with two other couples to yet again celebrate my birthday. And I'm supposed to go out with "the girls" for drinks on Saturday night for my birthday. Really, how much "birthday" can one person take?? Thank goodness I never turn 40 again. I might not survive.
In other news, I found my parents a condo for February. They are going down to Myrtle Beach for the whole month. Since my dad retired they've been talking about doing all kinds of fun things and this is only the beginning. Mo, Sean and I are for sure going to join them for a week. I can't wait!!
Do to J's posts on Facebook about having lunch with me, several old high school friends have found me. I think this is a good thing, but it does leave some explaining to do to Mo (who totally cyberstalks me). Like "what does this G guy mean about getting busted in the balcony at Prom junior year??! What were you doing??!!" She's not buying "I don't remember. That was a long time ago. I'm old. Leave me alone!" Apparently it was his now mother in law who busted us. Hmm. Awkward.
And speaking of old boyfriends coming out of the woodwork...remember my story about Mo's first love, the marine? And how he called her from Iraq? Well...guess who started texting us both last week? Yeah, okay so that was kind of a "gimme", just play along anyway. Guess who's dying to see Mo when he comes home next week. Yep. Zach. Well, things haven't been all roses in Iowa with Luke. In fact, they are having some huge issues. And let me be clear and say that I like Luke as a person. But hubby and I have been concerned about whether it was the right situation for Mo for a while now. And she's beginning to have serious doubts herself. How do ex bf's know this stuff?? It's like they have radar when you're unhappy in your current relationship. Three of her exes got in touch with me last week. Two marines and drunken ex. Anyway, she and Luke are "talking about the fate of their relationship" and she's going to come home and see Zach on Sunday. At my house, not like alone. Because, well, they've never been able to resist each other. But the bad news is...he's stationed in California and he goes to Afghanistan in July. I will have to give you a post on their history for you to be able to understand these two. It's a doozie.
Well, I'm going to go catch up on my blog reading and commenting and then I'm going to sew til my eyes cross to try to finish up some more Christmas. Hope everyone stayed healthy and happy while I was gone! I missed you!!
home again,
♥Spot
Oh my stars! Where has the last week gone?? I feel like I was caught up in some space time tunnel without a flux capacitor. Or a pulse phase converter. Yes, I did spend too much time with Sean and my brother in law last week. Actually, I'm really having a hard time getting "back to business" so to speak. With the rush on to finish Christmas shopping and decorating and the fact that my bday turned into a week long celebration in two states I feel kind of flustered. Or maybe it's just old age setting in.
So, I will finish up the Disco Chronicles in the next couple of days. But today I will update you on the last week. Our trip to Ohio was awesome. We had cold, but clear driving weather the entire time. I got to Christmas shop with my sister, which is something we don't normally get to do and it was so much fun! She threw me a party Saturday night with her friends and our cousins and it was great. We stopped on the way home from her house and had lunch with my friend J in Indy. That was two hours worth of amazing. I really wish I got to see her more often. Sean stated after lunch that he could totally understand why we were friends because we were so much alike. Then we stopped at my parents in Springfield and had an awesome dinner and presents and cheesecake! We got home Tuesday and Mo came down and we went to dinner, just the four of us then came home and watched videos.
They got me awesome gifts and I will even forgive the black balloons. Luke didn't make it but he did send the cake, which he made.Tonight we are having dinner with two other couples to yet again celebrate my birthday. And I'm supposed to go out with "the girls" for drinks on Saturday night for my birthday. Really, how much "birthday" can one person take?? Thank goodness I never turn 40 again. I might not survive.
In other news, I found my parents a condo for February. They are going down to Myrtle Beach for the whole month. Since my dad retired they've been talking about doing all kinds of fun things and this is only the beginning. Mo, Sean and I are for sure going to join them for a week. I can't wait!!
Do to J's posts on Facebook about having lunch with me, several old high school friends have found me. I think this is a good thing, but it does leave some explaining to do to Mo (who totally cyberstalks me). Like "what does this G guy mean about getting busted in the balcony at Prom junior year??! What were you doing??!!" She's not buying "I don't remember. That was a long time ago. I'm old. Leave me alone!" Apparently it was his now mother in law who busted us. Hmm. Awkward.
And speaking of old boyfriends coming out of the woodwork...remember my story about Mo's first love, the marine? And how he called her from Iraq? Well...guess who started texting us both last week? Yeah, okay so that was kind of a "gimme", just play along anyway. Guess who's dying to see Mo when he comes home next week. Yep. Zach. Well, things haven't been all roses in Iowa with Luke. In fact, they are having some huge issues. And let me be clear and say that I like Luke as a person. But hubby and I have been concerned about whether it was the right situation for Mo for a while now. And she's beginning to have serious doubts herself. How do ex bf's know this stuff?? It's like they have radar when you're unhappy in your current relationship. Three of her exes got in touch with me last week. Two marines and drunken ex. Anyway, she and Luke are "talking about the fate of their relationship" and she's going to come home and see Zach on Sunday. At my house, not like alone. Because, well, they've never been able to resist each other. But the bad news is...he's stationed in California and he goes to Afghanistan in July. I will have to give you a post on their history for you to be able to understand these two. It's a doozie.
Well, I'm going to go catch up on my blog reading and commenting and then I'm going to sew til my eyes cross to try to finish up some more Christmas. Hope everyone stayed healthy and happy while I was gone! I missed you!!
home again,
♥Spot
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Disco Chronicles, part III
*Quick note~ I'm going to my sister's tomorrow in Ohio so I probably won't have a chance to blog. I am planning on blogging while I'm there though, maybe not everyday. Just wanted you to know that I didn't drop off the face of the earth! Lol!*
When we left off yesterday, Sean was homeschooling and gobbling up scout merit badges like they were M&Ms. And we did that for three years. And it was awesome. I wouldn't trade it or do things differently for any amount of money. There's no better way to get to know your kids than to spend 95% of your time with them. Like I said though, it's not for everyone. Mo had gone back to school when she started seventh grade and I will put the reasons and the power struggle with the school in her biography. So we decided to send Sean back for seventh too. It's a highly social age and we thought that it would be good for him. They took him back to school with no problems, of course we'd paved the way the year before with Mo's re-entrance. And there was no problem with him going right into the proper grade because they'd already been shown that my kids were up to speed school wise. He still had the IEP from before so to make the transition easier for him we put it back in place. This meant that he went to a "resource room" for literature and english. The resource teacher fell in love with him. (Not in a Mary Kay Letourno way or anything, just in a Sean's an awesome kid way). She let him come to her room any time he wanted to do homework or work on things. Socially, everyone already knew him because he was "Molly's brother". And once again, he had the most laid back personality ever. He got along with everyone. Although, he does have a very low tolerance for stupid people. Not unintelligent people (that's considered a disability at our house) just people who do or say stupid things. And he doesn't play games. If he likes you, he's the most loyal friend in the world. If he doesn't, he just straight up tells you.
He was doing great in school, even though he still hated going. About mid year the middle school starts gearing up for the science fair. Well we'd been initiated last year with Molly. And she'd actually gotten an honorable mention. She took off on her own project, with a friend. Sean and I searched the internet for something that appealed to him and found..."The Glowing Pickle" experiment. The idea behind it is that salt conducts electricity and since pickles are cooked and stored in salty brine, pickles conduct electricity. So he and his dad built a machine to generate the electricity. It had forks at either end that we stuck the pickle on (those great big suckers). And when you flipped the switch, the pickle glows orange as the electricity arcs through it. It also cooks and smokes and gets gross. Amazingly enough, Sean picked that project because he'd learned about the conduction of electricity and salt through a CSI episode. (The boy can learn through anything). And best of all, that same CSI episode was on the night before the science fair, enabling everyone to understand and be awed by Sean's experiment. He won the science fair!! This formerly homeschooled kid, with the learning disabilities. Take that public school!!!
He also got some awards at the end of the year for academic achievement and made the honor roll every quarter. At the end IEP meeting at the end of seventh grade it was decided that he no longer needed special services or an IEP. I know that this was due in part to the habits and coping mechanisms he'd developed during his homeschooling. So he was now switched to a 408 plan. That means all regular classes the only adjustments made are not counting off for spelling unless it's an actual spelling test and the handwriting issues. Sometime close to the first parent teacher conference that year Mo came home and told me that Sean had become a legend at school. She was attending the High School now since she was a freshman but it's attached to the middle school and one of her classes was in the middle school building. She said as she was walking to class a group of 8th grade girls had stopped her and told her the story. Apparently, during science class, the teacher was talking when Sean's cell phone rang. (Now the school policy is that cell phones must be turned off and placed in your locker. You can check them during lunch time only.) Well, instead of looking sheepish and worrying about it getting taken away, Sean fishes it out of his pocket and answers it!!! When the teacher says "Sean...", he holds up his finger in the universal "give me a minute" sign. The teacher stops talking and Sean finishes his call and puts his cell phone back in his pocket. And nothing happens. Class resumes. WTF?? I'm wondering why I haven't heard from the administration about this. I heard enough from them about Mo. So I get to the parent/teacher conference and approach the science teacher warily. Sean's doing great in science, he's a smart boy, blah blah blah. So, unable to hold my curiosity, I ask about the great cell phone caper. The teacher laughs and says "I know I should have been angry or taken the cell phone away and sent him to the principal, but it's Sean. He's just so unflappable and he looked so serious about the call. I couldn't help it. It was so funny. That's one cool kid you have there." Picture me stunned. Little did I know how much he would embody this persona in the future. Eighth grade passed much the way seventh had, good grades (except in english...still Cs) and no drama. Compared to his sister, this kid was a breeze.
So how did we get back to homeschooling? Well, part of it was on Mo's account. She had opted to come back to homeschooling due to health reasons and what she was finding was the growing incompetence of her teachers. And Sean, while doing well, really hated school. He hated "wasting his time". If they'd just give him his work instead of taking the whole class time to explain it, he could be done in half the time. So if I was going to do one, might as well do two. I guess what really sealed the deal for me was parent teacher conferences that year. I went round to the teachers and talked to them all briefly. There's really only two teachers in the whole school that are worth their pay. One is an english teacher and one a science teacher. The rest? My kids were beginning to run circles around them. This is what I heard from their history teacher~
HT: we just finished a unit on the civil war. Sean could have taught the class.
Me: He really likes history. And especially the civil war. We covered it when I homeschooled him.
HT: Yeah, well thank goodness he's nicer than his sister. He'd wait til after class to correct me. She always just blurts out my mistakes in front of the whole class.
The hell??? What mistakes?? You are the teacher. You should have the facts. My kids should not have to correct you. Although, if they do, I agree it's much more polite to do it in private. See what we were up against?? He further asked if both my kids had always been "history geeks". I responded with "well I guess so. As Molly says, history is easy. It's already happened. All you have to do is memorize it." Did I mention that he was also one of the basketball coaches? Yeah, here's hoping he knew more about basketball than history.
The last installment of the Disco Chronicles next time,
♥Spot
When we left off yesterday, Sean was homeschooling and gobbling up scout merit badges like they were M&Ms. And we did that for three years. And it was awesome. I wouldn't trade it or do things differently for any amount of money. There's no better way to get to know your kids than to spend 95% of your time with them. Like I said though, it's not for everyone. Mo had gone back to school when she started seventh grade and I will put the reasons and the power struggle with the school in her biography. So we decided to send Sean back for seventh too. It's a highly social age and we thought that it would be good for him. They took him back to school with no problems, of course we'd paved the way the year before with Mo's re-entrance. And there was no problem with him going right into the proper grade because they'd already been shown that my kids were up to speed school wise. He still had the IEP from before so to make the transition easier for him we put it back in place. This meant that he went to a "resource room" for literature and english. The resource teacher fell in love with him. (Not in a Mary Kay Letourno way or anything, just in a Sean's an awesome kid way). She let him come to her room any time he wanted to do homework or work on things. Socially, everyone already knew him because he was "Molly's brother". And once again, he had the most laid back personality ever. He got along with everyone. Although, he does have a very low tolerance for stupid people. Not unintelligent people (that's considered a disability at our house) just people who do or say stupid things. And he doesn't play games. If he likes you, he's the most loyal friend in the world. If he doesn't, he just straight up tells you.
He was doing great in school, even though he still hated going. About mid year the middle school starts gearing up for the science fair. Well we'd been initiated last year with Molly. And she'd actually gotten an honorable mention. She took off on her own project, with a friend. Sean and I searched the internet for something that appealed to him and found..."The Glowing Pickle" experiment. The idea behind it is that salt conducts electricity and since pickles are cooked and stored in salty brine, pickles conduct electricity. So he and his dad built a machine to generate the electricity. It had forks at either end that we stuck the pickle on (those great big suckers). And when you flipped the switch, the pickle glows orange as the electricity arcs through it. It also cooks and smokes and gets gross. Amazingly enough, Sean picked that project because he'd learned about the conduction of electricity and salt through a CSI episode. (The boy can learn through anything). And best of all, that same CSI episode was on the night before the science fair, enabling everyone to understand and be awed by Sean's experiment. He won the science fair!! This formerly homeschooled kid, with the learning disabilities. Take that public school!!!
He also got some awards at the end of the year for academic achievement and made the honor roll every quarter. At the end IEP meeting at the end of seventh grade it was decided that he no longer needed special services or an IEP. I know that this was due in part to the habits and coping mechanisms he'd developed during his homeschooling. So he was now switched to a 408 plan. That means all regular classes the only adjustments made are not counting off for spelling unless it's an actual spelling test and the handwriting issues. Sometime close to the first parent teacher conference that year Mo came home and told me that Sean had become a legend at school. She was attending the High School now since she was a freshman but it's attached to the middle school and one of her classes was in the middle school building. She said as she was walking to class a group of 8th grade girls had stopped her and told her the story. Apparently, during science class, the teacher was talking when Sean's cell phone rang. (Now the school policy is that cell phones must be turned off and placed in your locker. You can check them during lunch time only.) Well, instead of looking sheepish and worrying about it getting taken away, Sean fishes it out of his pocket and answers it!!! When the teacher says "Sean...", he holds up his finger in the universal "give me a minute" sign. The teacher stops talking and Sean finishes his call and puts his cell phone back in his pocket. And nothing happens. Class resumes. WTF?? I'm wondering why I haven't heard from the administration about this. I heard enough from them about Mo. So I get to the parent/teacher conference and approach the science teacher warily. Sean's doing great in science, he's a smart boy, blah blah blah. So, unable to hold my curiosity, I ask about the great cell phone caper. The teacher laughs and says "I know I should have been angry or taken the cell phone away and sent him to the principal, but it's Sean. He's just so unflappable and he looked so serious about the call. I couldn't help it. It was so funny. That's one cool kid you have there." Picture me stunned. Little did I know how much he would embody this persona in the future. Eighth grade passed much the way seventh had, good grades (except in english...still Cs) and no drama. Compared to his sister, this kid was a breeze.
So how did we get back to homeschooling? Well, part of it was on Mo's account. She had opted to come back to homeschooling due to health reasons and what she was finding was the growing incompetence of her teachers. And Sean, while doing well, really hated school. He hated "wasting his time". If they'd just give him his work instead of taking the whole class time to explain it, he could be done in half the time. So if I was going to do one, might as well do two. I guess what really sealed the deal for me was parent teacher conferences that year. I went round to the teachers and talked to them all briefly. There's really only two teachers in the whole school that are worth their pay. One is an english teacher and one a science teacher. The rest? My kids were beginning to run circles around them. This is what I heard from their history teacher~
HT: we just finished a unit on the civil war. Sean could have taught the class.
Me: He really likes history. And especially the civil war. We covered it when I homeschooled him.
HT: Yeah, well thank goodness he's nicer than his sister. He'd wait til after class to correct me. She always just blurts out my mistakes in front of the whole class.
The hell??? What mistakes?? You are the teacher. You should have the facts. My kids should not have to correct you. Although, if they do, I agree it's much more polite to do it in private. See what we were up against?? He further asked if both my kids had always been "history geeks". I responded with "well I guess so. As Molly says, history is easy. It's already happened. All you have to do is memorize it." Did I mention that he was also one of the basketball coaches? Yeah, here's hoping he knew more about basketball than history.
The last installment of the Disco Chronicles next time,
♥Spot
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Disco Chronicles, part II
*Sorry about being AWOL yesterday. Mo came into town for a doctor appt. and drug me to lunch and shopping all day. I really mean all damn day. We even had to pick Sean up from where he was working with his dad because hubby had a meeting. So the three of us had dinner and continued shopping. We got home at 10pm and I promptly crawled to my bed. Mo made me a cup of tea and joined me for chatter until hubby kicked her out when he came to bed. This morning my body's all "the hell chica?? You were thinking what?? That you could abuse me like that and still expect me to function the next day? So not happening. Legs, show her we're not taking this. No walking for you today missy!!" If my story rambles today, it's the muscle relaxers I tried to appease my body with. Just for the record...Fibromyalgia sucks monkey toes. And by toes, I totally mean a**! On a good note Mo's platelets were still solidly in the normal range so she can stay off the meds. And doesn't have to have another check for 3 whole months. He did warn her however, that she's not cured, they will drop again. So she has to vigilantly watch for the signs that they're low. And she got fussed at because her hemoglobin had dropped even though she's on enough iron to choke a horse. Turns out she'd been a little forgetful about taking the morning dose. But overall, it was a good visit.*
So when we left off in the last installment, we had just discovered that our third graders IQ was higher than most adults. But he had some learning issues. I say most adults because obviously there's those freakish Mensa people (no offense if any of you are one) and rocket scientists and stuff. So there are people with high IQs. It's not that rare. And thankfully his mommy's IQ is way up there near his she just doesn't get all braggy about it. Because really? What does that prove? But it's just odd to get that kind of news about your 8 yr old. So I did what I always do...I researched. When in doubt, learn. And I try to read as much as I can and then interpret things in a way we can live with. I think the best book I read was The Edison Trait. Did you know that Thomas Edison was kicked out of school for being "dumb"?? I know right? How ridiculous. But luckily, his mama was a smart woman and she homeschooled him. What if she'd listened to the school and gave up on him? We'd totally still be reading by lantern light. Well, okay, someone would have invented the light bulb eventually, I guess, but still.
I'd also learned alot from the autism seminars I'd attended given by Barbara T. Doyle. The woman is amazing. She's a clinical consultant for many programs, state board of educations, she's written books, when it comes to autism, she knows her stuff! But in her seminars she also talks about the different ways people learn. I'm a visual learner. I need to see it. I need to read things to actually get them in my brain. I'd always doodled in school. And during lectures in college I'd take some notes, but they'd be surrounded by silly doodles. She explained that visual learners doodled to engage the visual part of their brain so that the information was processed. How cool is that? And auditory learners do best when they can listen to the information and then discuss it verbally. So it was a matter of incorporating different methods to help him learn.
Towards the end of his third grade year, hubby took the position with the boy scouts and we moved half an hour north and into the country. The move was awesome in many ways for the kids. Who wouldn't want acres and acres of timber to explore? They spent most of their time outside on adventures and since their dad is nature boy to begin with they learned alot. But it also meant switching school districts. They were now in a much smaller district with small schools and small class sizes. Sounds better right? Not so much. They started school in the fall and I liked both teachers. Sean's teacher was more than willing to work with his IEP and he was doing okay in her class. But he really didn't like school. And Mo, well I'll save most of it for her biography, but she was way ahead of the class and bored. We'd discussed homeschooling before and it just seemed the right time to give it a try. So I studied up on the laws and regulations about homeschooling in Illinois which are probably too lenient and we withdrew them from school. I was lucky in that they were only a grade apart so alot of classes I could combine. Obviously, Sean was no match for Mo in english so they had separate workbooks for that. I bought Sean phonics workbooks to try to help his reading and spelling issues. But we did science, social studies, and literature all together. We used our library alot. We rented and watched alot of discovery channel programs both for science and social studies. For PE I'd send them out to the woods to play or on the trampoline or we'd go for a walk. For literature we read books out loud and then discussed them. We also started doing books on tape in the van when we had to drive. One book I picked up about the time Sean was in 5th grade was Timeline by Michael Crichton. I wasn't sure if it would be too much for the kids but it wasn't. Mo and I listened to books on tape and we got the basic story and enjoyed it. We discovered that Sean remembered minute details of the story that we'd totally missed!! And he was the one who understood the theories of quantum physics that were explained in the story. In 5th grade!! I knew then that he was going to far surpass me in science. I studied my butt off in senior physics just to get a C+, when this kid seemed to just get it naturally. We loved homeschooling. I loved it. The kids loved it. Don't get me wrong, there were bad days when someone was out of sorts, or I had trouble getting a concept through to Sean. He's still very obstinate and sometimes we'd both have to take a time out and come back to it later. There were days I was sure that I'd end up screwing them up. One day a friend called and I was like what if I screw this up and ten years from now on Mother's day Mo calls me to wish me a happy Mother's day and she's got seven kids and the littlest one only speaks spanish and she works at a gas station??! And Sean can't even call because he's in prison? And it's all my fault??! She told me that the fact that I was worried proved that it wasn't going to happen. I still have my fingers crossed that she's right. We discovered that Mo can do work anywhere. Sprawled on the floor in front of the TV, in the van on the road, in the middle of a huge group. Sean has to be sitting at the table, in relative quiet in order to focus. He has to have all of the things he'll need in front of him so he doesn't have to get up and search for things and break his concentration. He can't have a radio or TV on. So mostly it was a matter of finding out what he needed to succeed and making sure that's how we set things up.
Because we live on a Boy Scout property and summer camp is just down the road from us, the kids and I spent alot of time hanging out down there. I got certified to be a lifeguard and helped out at the waterfront. Mo, being a girl, stayed with either her father or I. But Sean got to pal around with the counselors and join the merit badge classes. The summer before seventh grade he completed every single merit badge the program offers in the nature category. The boy is a sponge. He just soaks up that knowledge.
Next up...Sean's middle school years, in which he returns to school, becomes a legend and wins the science fair.
♥Spot
So when we left off in the last installment, we had just discovered that our third graders IQ was higher than most adults. But he had some learning issues. I say most adults because obviously there's those freakish Mensa people (no offense if any of you are one) and rocket scientists and stuff. So there are people with high IQs. It's not that rare. And thankfully his mommy's IQ is way up there near his she just doesn't get all braggy about it. Because really? What does that prove? But it's just odd to get that kind of news about your 8 yr old. So I did what I always do...I researched. When in doubt, learn. And I try to read as much as I can and then interpret things in a way we can live with. I think the best book I read was The Edison Trait. Did you know that Thomas Edison was kicked out of school for being "dumb"?? I know right? How ridiculous. But luckily, his mama was a smart woman and she homeschooled him. What if she'd listened to the school and gave up on him? We'd totally still be reading by lantern light. Well, okay, someone would have invented the light bulb eventually, I guess, but still.
I'd also learned alot from the autism seminars I'd attended given by Barbara T. Doyle. The woman is amazing. She's a clinical consultant for many programs, state board of educations, she's written books, when it comes to autism, she knows her stuff! But in her seminars she also talks about the different ways people learn. I'm a visual learner. I need to see it. I need to read things to actually get them in my brain. I'd always doodled in school. And during lectures in college I'd take some notes, but they'd be surrounded by silly doodles. She explained that visual learners doodled to engage the visual part of their brain so that the information was processed. How cool is that? And auditory learners do best when they can listen to the information and then discuss it verbally. So it was a matter of incorporating different methods to help him learn.
Towards the end of his third grade year, hubby took the position with the boy scouts and we moved half an hour north and into the country. The move was awesome in many ways for the kids. Who wouldn't want acres and acres of timber to explore? They spent most of their time outside on adventures and since their dad is nature boy to begin with they learned alot. But it also meant switching school districts. They were now in a much smaller district with small schools and small class sizes. Sounds better right? Not so much. They started school in the fall and I liked both teachers. Sean's teacher was more than willing to work with his IEP and he was doing okay in her class. But he really didn't like school. And Mo, well I'll save most of it for her biography, but she was way ahead of the class and bored. We'd discussed homeschooling before and it just seemed the right time to give it a try. So I studied up on the laws and regulations about homeschooling in Illinois which are probably too lenient and we withdrew them from school. I was lucky in that they were only a grade apart so alot of classes I could combine. Obviously, Sean was no match for Mo in english so they had separate workbooks for that. I bought Sean phonics workbooks to try to help his reading and spelling issues. But we did science, social studies, and literature all together. We used our library alot. We rented and watched alot of discovery channel programs both for science and social studies. For PE I'd send them out to the woods to play or on the trampoline or we'd go for a walk. For literature we read books out loud and then discussed them. We also started doing books on tape in the van when we had to drive. One book I picked up about the time Sean was in 5th grade was Timeline by Michael Crichton. I wasn't sure if it would be too much for the kids but it wasn't. Mo and I listened to books on tape and we got the basic story and enjoyed it. We discovered that Sean remembered minute details of the story that we'd totally missed!! And he was the one who understood the theories of quantum physics that were explained in the story. In 5th grade!! I knew then that he was going to far surpass me in science. I studied my butt off in senior physics just to get a C+, when this kid seemed to just get it naturally. We loved homeschooling. I loved it. The kids loved it. Don't get me wrong, there were bad days when someone was out of sorts, or I had trouble getting a concept through to Sean. He's still very obstinate and sometimes we'd both have to take a time out and come back to it later. There were days I was sure that I'd end up screwing them up. One day a friend called and I was like what if I screw this up and ten years from now on Mother's day Mo calls me to wish me a happy Mother's day and she's got seven kids and the littlest one only speaks spanish and she works at a gas station??! And Sean can't even call because he's in prison? And it's all my fault??! She told me that the fact that I was worried proved that it wasn't going to happen. I still have my fingers crossed that she's right. We discovered that Mo can do work anywhere. Sprawled on the floor in front of the TV, in the van on the road, in the middle of a huge group. Sean has to be sitting at the table, in relative quiet in order to focus. He has to have all of the things he'll need in front of him so he doesn't have to get up and search for things and break his concentration. He can't have a radio or TV on. So mostly it was a matter of finding out what he needed to succeed and making sure that's how we set things up.
Because we live on a Boy Scout property and summer camp is just down the road from us, the kids and I spent alot of time hanging out down there. I got certified to be a lifeguard and helped out at the waterfront. Mo, being a girl, stayed with either her father or I. But Sean got to pal around with the counselors and join the merit badge classes. The summer before seventh grade he completed every single merit badge the program offers in the nature category. The boy is a sponge. He just soaks up that knowledge.
Next up...Sean's middle school years, in which he returns to school, becomes a legend and wins the science fair.
♥Spot
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