And the culprit was...

So yesterday? Not my best day. Couldn't figure out the funk. Couldn't figure out why I kept bursting into tears over nothing. Couldn't blame hormones, wrong week. My family? Not really behaving any worse than usual. The weather? Yucky, but hell, I like rain. So I did what I said I was going to do. I shut off the computer. Made my bed, took a shower, got a sandwich and a soda and settled on my couch. I texted Hildi because I knew she'd cheer me up or at least agree with me that life just doesn't live up to your expectations some days. Then I watched some twilight zone. And then I feel asleep. When I woke up, I figured it out. Fever and a sore throat and a headache. Me coming down with something = blue funk. Me with a fever = tears.

As I've said before, I have a wacked out weird body and fibromyalgia. Both my sister and I have normally low body temperatures. So by the time I have what the doctors consider a fever (100+), I've feeling the effects of a higher fever. And for some reason, they always make me cry. Hildi and Lu are the same way. So I took some ibuprofen and curled back up on the couch and watched a totally ridiculous movie on Lifetime about this little girl who was reincarnated from a murder victim. The idea was actually good, the acting, plot, dialogue, not so much. Then Sean came in and said he had a really bad headache and his arm rash itched. I blamed my illness on him. He felt so bad for me that he made his own lunch. (I know! Shocking, right?!)

Hubby stuck his head in the door and checked on me. Then he actually brought clothes up from the dryer (of course, he didn't fold or put away, but I can't ask for miracles), put the ones from the washer in the dryer, and started a load with the muddy clothes he'd just taken off. Will wonders never cease???! Maybe I should cry more often?! After the movie, I got up and made supper. Sean had actually asked for fish sticks, box mac-n-cheese & peas. I know. I'm still scratching my head over that one too. But both my children told me last grocery list that they missed the foods from their younger years (fish sticks, pigs-n-blankets, chicken nuggets). I stared at them. I cook from scratch nearly every night and these are the things they want?? So every so often I've been working a "young & poor" meal into the menu. Weirdos.

After watching a movie on TV with the fam, I headed off to my room. Got on my pj's and settled onto my bed with the files of my fiction work from my file cabinet. I wanted to see how many completed stories I had, how many needed editing, how many were ready for submission. I ended up reading my old rejection letters. (Yes, I kept them. Apparently I'm a masochist. Who knew??) But as I read through them, and out loud to Sean, who'd come into my room to talk, I realized they weren't totally rejection slips. Many of them had said I had talent and even though they couldn't use that story to keep submitting. One editor even took the time to edit the first half of a story and show me my mistakes. And tell me to resubmit after corrections. Unfortunately, the editor had a death in the family and the anthology never got published. But I was this close. And it renewed my ambition.

Then Sean left and I started watching a really bad movie on the Chiller channel. But Lu's hippie had arrived, along with a friend of his (and ours) and they plus Lu piled into the room. (Are we beginning to see how Spot has no privacy? I mean these kids are in my bedroom.) We all talked for about an hour until hubby came in and announced he was going to sleep and kicked them out.

Today, I still have a stupid sore throat. And a headache. But I'm keeping the fever at bay so no tears. And I feel better, indeed. Mentally anyway. Which is the most important part. I'm psyched again about my writing. And life is good...

Have a fantastic Saturday,
♥Spot

How I saved Lulu from utter despair...

So as most of you know, my daughter Lulu has been living her life in true soap opera style. I definitely owe you all an update and will do so next week when I'm back at home. For now, we'll suffice it to say that the hippie is not taking her return home well, and DEBF is not happy that she did not immediately rush back into his arms and resume their pre break-up imagined bliss. She's feeling confused, bad for the guys and isn't quite sure where to go from here. Wednesday was a particularly rough day for her.

So Thursday, as we're driving, I looked over at her and asked~

Me: Are you still depressed? Or are you feeling better today?

Lu: *sighs* I guess I'm feeling better.

Me: It's because I'm awesome.

Lu: Oh?

Me: Yes. And currently you're trapped in the car with me. Therefore, my awesomeness is eclipsing all other feelings. You're welcome.

Lu: Mmmmk.

Or I guess it could be a new character who we'll call Never Dated But Have Been Flirting Since Seventh Grade. Or NDBHBFSSG for short. Or maybe just Tim. But I prefer to think it's my awesomeness.

♥Spot

It's a Love Story? Part four...

Was I perturbed at Lu yesterday? Well today I am downright angry. It's one of those times when you shake your head and go "where did I go wrong"? She's having car trouble, she's moving home, and I don't even know where she left her brain. Don't get me wrong...I know she's going through a rough patch and I'm totally sympathetic. To that end, her Dad and I have been trying to help her. We told her to get the car looked at and if it's okay to drive long distance we will come up and trade her cars, to get hers down here where either DEBF or her brothers can fix it and save her a gazillion dollars. Somehow she manages to have trouble getting her part done. Then I keep asking her what day she's off so she can come down and bring some stuff. We don't have a truck at our disposal unless we want to pay a fortune to use Hubby's work truck and since she took stuff up a little at a time it will take a couple of trips to get it all. But she keeps saying she'll look at her schedule and then text me. Only she doesn't. Finally last night I blew up and told her that contrary to her belief the world does not actually revolve around her. The rest of us do not sit and wait for her to be able to come down, we all have lives and so a little advanced notice of her arrival would come in handy for scheduling purposes. Then I hung up. I know, not well done of me...but this snafu (not my first choice word but clusterfuck is so rude) has been going on for days!! And I've got DEBF saying if she doesn't get the car here soon, he'll be in rehab and unable to fix it. So I'm a smidge on the frustrated side.

But I digress...back to the story....

When we left off yesterday our heroine had kicked Jackass to the curb (hopefully for good). She'd decided to leave the Hippie and return to the bosom of her family. She had begun talking to DEBF, at least about her car. So our heroine has returned to Iowa, with the secret knowledge that she will be leaving the Hippie. She wants to talk to her boss first to see how much notice is required to leave her job so that she's not stuck in the same apartment for forever with a saddened Hippie. Her boss says that next week can be her last week. Although she also offers Lu a place to live should she decide to stay in Iowa because she's awesome at her job and they hate to see her go! But boss lady will definitely see if Lu can transfer to the store closest to home. Lu also calls her old job to see if the transfer should fall through to they have a place for her and they do! So Lu will not be jobless.

Now our Lu has been exhausted from all the work, shopping, driving that Christmas entails. She's been cranky and mean. (Her mother also suspects that she needs a platelet check as this is how she behaves when platelets are crashing). She decides to tell Hippie what's what. So on New Year's Eve she tells him that she's moving back home. She doesn't break up with him, she just explains that she's tired of all the driving and she's moving home. That they can try long distance and see each other on weekends ect. He gets majorly pissed off and says that he knows how this works. Pretty soon they'll be down to the occasional phone call and then it's over. (Well, that was the plan.) But our heroine feels bad, she's trying to let him down gently and also not make the living situation unbearable for the next week or so. I know that also this night, DEBF sends her some heartfelt texts (and let me tell you, I know this boy is a sweet talker) about new years and new starts. Sorry I don't have the original texts. Lu would ordinarily forward them to me to see what I thought, but as we're not speaking...well no blog fodder. So Lu is finishing her work week, supposedly getting her car looked at and packing. Hippie is hurt, mad, pissy. DEBF is cautiously optimistic that he can change and get yet another chance with our heroine. And that's the story so far. Do bear in mind that the heroine has other guys who text her on a regular basis as well. One she never even dated who says he'll wait for her forever.

I'll keep you updated as the gossip rolls in...will DEBF really turn things around (he's currently on the list for the residential rehab program in town. They'll call him when they have an open bed and he has an hour and a half to show up. So far he's been sober since he saw Lu)? Will the Hippie put some effort into getting her back? Will a tall dark stranger come into the picture? What's next for our heroine??

♥Spot

It was (almost) a love story (or two or three). But not the fairy tale kind where everyone lives happily ever after in the end.

So...I almost had this incredibly beautiful love story to tell you about Lu. But of course it involved a boy so it didn't turn out that way. Instead it turned out with her vowing to never speak to him again and the rest of us talking in hushed whispers and calling him "he who can not be mentioned" or "that one guy" or just "jackass". I guess for this story you really need a little history, a roster of players and seeing as how the whole story is ongoing it may be a two (or several) parter.

Here's the cast of characters;

Jackass- this would be Lu's first love. They met at summer camp when she was 11 and he was 14. That year nothing happened. But she can still tell you exactly what he was wearing the very first time she met him. Fast forward a year and me telling her boys that age are dumb and he probably wont remember you. Man, did he prove me wrong. Not about being dumb, but about remembering her. Oh and did I mention that in the years time she'd sprouted boobs? May have jogged his memory somewhat. Anyway, they were instantly inseparable for the week. Then they went to a few movies, he came over to the house some and then school started and they stopped seeing each other because a.) he lives an hour away, b.) he was in high school and she was in middle school and he had older girls vying for his attention, and c.) neither of them was old enough to drive. But she had become best friends with one of his close friends, we had become friends with his parents and the other guys parents so we went to basketball games (both boys were on the team) and other gatherings in that town. So they still came in contact with each other and from time to time restarted their romance only to have it end by his bad behavior. (Did I mention the boy was really really cute and had girls falling all over themselves for him?) Both dated other people, a year went by and it's summer again. This time he's working at the camp and is there for the whole summer. They begin dating and spending every waking moment possible together. And then summer ends and so does their romance. Again. They never officially dated after that but there were a few times here and there that they went out or he'd come up to visit (as by this time he's practically part of the family). His mother even (still) has a framed picture of Lu & him hanging up in her house. He graduated high school and joined the marines. I mentioned him in a previous post, he called her from Iraq. Sometime while he was over there they had an argument and the emails stopped. Not sure of the details. I just know we didn't hear from him when he got back. Until December 12th.

Drunken Ex-boyfriend: Lu's second love. She met him about October of her freshman year. He was a junior. A year older than her. The cousin of one of her close guy friends. Lived on a farm not far from us. We should have known there was going to be trouble when he brought her home an hour late from their first date. And didn't come in to apologize. They had a dramatic off/on again relationship until this past may. They'd fight, they'd break up, we'd breathe a sigh of relief, they'd get back together. Now some of the problem is him...he comes from a family of alcoholics and a culture of alcoholism. His mother locked him in a closet when he was little. His parents fought constantly and his mother finally left the family, kids and all. His father isn't his biological father, his mother got pregnant during one of their separations. His biological father lives twenty minutes from him and never acknowledged his existence. I mean the boy had problems. And while I felt sorry for him (motherless boys are my weakness), my daughter has to be my priority. But we tried to help him. We tried to get him to quit drinking. I tried to get him to go to therapy. We took him in when no one else wanted to. We gave him chances. And the trouble we had with Lu during this time wasn't entirely his fault. She just turned into someone different when she was with him. She lied, she snuck around, she drank way more than she let on. We had horrible fights. (and yes, I do know this is typical behavior, but since we have an atypical household and parenting style, I guess I expected atypical behavior.) They separated for the final time in mid may when she kicked him out of our house and her life for falling off the wagon. They had a fight so he went to a party at his cousins and got wasted.

The Hippie- this would be Lu's current boyfriend. They met in June at summer camp. He's the handicraft teacher. He's fun, upbeat, artistic, sensitive and kind. But he's also irresponsible, lazy, and unmotivated. And smokes pot. And has a retinue of stoner friends. And blows off school, doesn't work much and lives off his folks. And Lu. She's been living in Iowa with him since end of September. She's been paying all the bills for the last two months because he has no money. They've been having huge fights. Now, don't get me wrong, I like him- as a person. And he's definitely done some good things for Lu. Her self esteem is up, he cooks for her, and he would certainly never cheat on her. But he's not settle down with material. He doesn't take care of her. She takes care of him. And so now this is wearing very thin and she's come to realize that it's not going to work...

Crap! That's really all I have time for because I have a busy day today and have to go to town. The way it's snowing outside I may need a sled and a team of snow dogs. Haha. Guess I'll settle for hubby and his truck. I will get into the meat of the drama tomorrow. Trust me, it rivals any daytime soap out there....

Tune in tomorrow...
♥Spot

Another day of crazy...

So remember how I told you before that I absolutely hate housework and cleaning? Well I also absolutely adore a clean house. I know right? That's totally perverse of me. That's just how I roll. Anywho, yesterday was cleaning day at my house. I have a sh*t ton of cooking to do today plus a trip to Springfield (two hours away) to pick up CJ for the holiday weekend. So all the cleaning had to be done yesterday. I informed hubby and Sean that cleaning would commence at noon so that I could get the blogging stuff done first. (I'd accidentally slept in). So at noon we began our marathon.

Sean cleaned his and Bobby's room. Doesn't sound like much except they share a huge room in the basement, probably big enough to be two rooms, there are two beds, nightstands, dressers and then a separate space with a loveseat, two chairs, bookcase, and TV. He cleaned clutter, dusted, glass cleaned, vacuumed, swept and mopped the whole area. Thank you very much Sean. My hubby cleaned his home office (we use that door instead of our real front door so it gets really messy). And I wasn't even mad that it took him as much time to clean that room as it did me to clean...Mo's old room, Our bedroom, my bathroom, the family room and put dinner in the crock pot, 5 loads of laundry. Yeah, he's somewhat slower than I am. But then he cleaned the hall bath so all is forgiven. Well, it is after I went back in and pointed out all the things he'd missed so that he could do those too. Then I cleaned the living room and then we broke for supper. We ate our chili and watched "V". Then it was up again to tackle the pantry of death. I call it that because I think you could have seriously lost a person in the huge pile of plastic bags that covered one whole side of the "L" shape. Scary! Also I'd had this weird black goo that I'm pretty sure came from outer space show up in there recently. It was scary. It looked like motor oil. But in the end, it was no match for me and my Lysol wipees!

We didn't get the pantry finished. That will require way more time than I had last night. But at least it looks decent. I made my final trip to the basement laundry room at 9 last night. After which I took a shower and limped gratefully to bed for a little reading. Today? Two batches of cookies, potato salad, sausage cheese balls and Mexican pinwheels. And cleaning the kitchen (because I just couldn't fit it in yesterday!) Tomorrow, last ditch frantic vacuuming, pumpkin dump cake (thanks Mindy!), apple pie and a turkey. I'm already tired just thinking about it...

I probably (okay I know) I will not have time to blog tomorrow. So I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Know that I will be giving thanks for you guys. =]

Is it Sunday yet?
♥Spot