Eek! More Aliens!

So after two people mentioned it in their comments, and my Dad told me about it on the phone, Lu rented "The Fourth Kind" on DVD for us last night. She, Sean & I stayed up past my bedtime late last night to watch it. The phone call with my Dad had gone something like this~

Dad: So you really don't want to move to Alaska.

Me: Oh but I do! Because Sean and I watched this program on Animal Planet called "Killer Aliens" and it's all about the exotic pets that people are having shipped in and then they get loose or people just set them free. And they are destroying Florida's natural ecosystem. Did you know they actually have a bounty on Burmese pythons?? And they have a monitor lizard problem. I am absolutely not getting eaten by something like that. So it's a move to the frozen north for me!

Dad: *laughing at me* But not to Alaska. There's bad shit there. There's a movie you need to see.

Me: You mean "30 Days of Night"?! Best vampire movie ever! But I'm not moving to Barrow, so it's cool.

Dad: Well you don't want to move to Nome either! I was talking about "The Fourth Kind".

Me: Oh!! Did you see that? Sean and I have been wanting to see it forever! Was it good?!

Dad: I thought it was. Very creepy. Your mom fell asleep (no surprise there). Did you know the FBI has visited there over 2000 times since the 60's?

Me: Wow. That's creepy. Sean and I were just discussing aliens & anal probes the other day.

Dad: Why doesn't this surprise me?

Me: Because you know us?? Anyway, it's cool. I've decided to move to Maine. I've decided I can handle creepy killer clowns and black bears.

Then last night, we were watching the movie, and it is very good! Kind of hard to get used to at first, because they incorporated actual audio and video from the true story. That's right peeps, this is a true story. Which makes it even freakier. Anyway, several people claim to have seen a white owl outside their window. So they show a very creepy white owl. And~



Me: Maybe it's not aliens. That owl looks like a demon to me. Look look! It's head is spinning. Definitely a demon!

Lu: Owls can turn their heads all the way around.

Me: Um. Duh. Because they're demons! OMG! Has no one but me made this correlation?? You're welcome people. Problem solved. Owls are demons in disguise.

So now I'm afraid of owls. Fabulous. And alien abduction. Lu actually asked to sleep with me. When I pointed out that it wouldn't matter, they seem to take people out of bed even when someone is sleeping right next to them, we decided to leave the outside lights on instead. Although, my real plan was that if the aliens came I'd tell them to take hubby. It's not like he'd even wake up anyway. And his short term memory is pretty shot, so I doubt he'd even know on any level that the abduction happened. And besides, he deserves it for this conversation before we watched the movie~

Me: I'm totally going to wake up with butt pain and think the aliens got me.

Sean: Why the H would you wake up with butt pain?? Who does that?

Me: Um. Me. Duh. Fibromyalgia. I have weird pains all the time. It's why I take muscle relaxers.

Hubby: (passing through on his way to bed) Yeah, but don't worry, the butt pain is not aliens, it's just me.

Me: Eeeew! Did you really just say that?? You freak.

Lu: Wow Mom, those muscle relaxers must really knock you out.

Sean: But there's some muscles even they can't relax!

Anyway, see the movie. It's creepy good. And you might want to learn ancient sumerarian. You know, just in case. Have a good weekend! Watch out for aliens and owls! You know I will!

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'Tis the season...for automotive woes?

So Lu is having car problems. I guess when she went to go to work on Friday her car was making some kind of awful noise coming from the back. She frantically called DEBF (drunken ex-boyfriend) because he's a mechanic. And because he had just fixed her tire the Monday before. Now, I can picture Lu, dressed nicely (okay like a million bucks because she's on her way to work) crouched beside the rear of her car holding her cell phone to it going "can you hear that??!". It's just the kind of thing Lu would do. He told her it sounded like a wheel bearing was out. Then he told me. So I talked to hubby and we told her to take it in Saturday morning and get it looked at. Get an estimate, do NOT have them fix it. If it's a serious problem, we'll come get the car and give her mine so we can get hers back here where one of her assorted brothers or DEBF can fix it less expensively. Well, Saturday morning she sleeps through her alarm and gets up late. By the time she's off work, no place can get it in til Monday. Monday she takes it in and finds out it's the rear brakes. Their shot. The mechanic tells her the front one's need replaced too and it will run $363 dollars.

I talk to DEBF and he says he checked the front brakes when he did the tire and they are fine. Back brakes are secondary so as long as she drives carefully and doesn't slam on her brakes it's fine to drive home. Her father agrees so she says she'll be home on Thursday. DEBF puts the parts on hold for her. The grand total for him to fix her car? $80 dollars. Quite the difference, no?

Well Lu also says to make a Dr. appt for Thursday because she's tired, cranky, cold, and covered in bruises. Which means her platelets are crashing and her hemoglobin is probably down too. So the plan is for her to come home Thursday, leave her car with DEBF and we'll take mine to town.

Last night Hubby had a meeting in one town, Sean had one in another. So after dinner, Hubby heads out in his truck and Sean borrows my car. We joke with him about putting it in a ditch because he really doesn't have much experience driving on snow and ice and the gravel road is still covered in it. I settle down on the couch with a cup of tea and the knowledge that Hildi will be calling soon. Ten minutes later, sure enough the phone rings. I recognize Sean's cell number. Uh oh. He hasn't put the car in a ditch, but the car died. The headlights began to dim, the inside lights went out and then the car died. He's on the side of the gravel road, around a curve and just before a rather large hill. Did I mention it's probably -5?

Me: Oh gosh. I think the alternator went out! I knew it was going bad but it's been doing that for awhile.

Sean: You knew there was something wrong with the car and you let me drive it??!

Me: Um. Yeah. I mean I still drive it. It's just one of those things...you drive it till it finally goes, then replace it. No big deal.

Sean: NO BIG DEAL??! The hell! You're not the one stuck on the side of the road in the dark and the frigid temps.

Me: Yeah. Aren't you glad I told you to take your gloves?

Sean: Do you know how cold it is out here?!

Me: Um. Yeah. Really cold. Oh wait! There's a blankie in the back seat just for this sort of emergency!! OMG. I'm so prepared! Aren't you proud?

Sean: No. I'm cold. And I'm kind of irritated that you let me take your car knowing it was broken.

Me: It wasn't broken yet. Geez, you broke the car. Way to go.

So then I hung up and called hubby. He said he'd turn around and come back but it would take him about 15 mins to get there. So I called Sean back to keep him company.

Me: Dad's on his way. He was all the way past Ursa though so it'll be a bit.

Sean: great. It's not getting any warmer you know.

Me: If you get too cold, get out of the car and do some jumping jacks. Or you could just butt dance in the seat (me demonstrating this even though he can't see me).

Sean: I'm not getting out of the car.

Me: Are you covered up?

Sean: I'm too manly to cover up.

Me: Um. Okay, well if you freeze it's not on my head. I mean, you had a blankie. Maybe I should get some of those hand warmer thingies hunters use. I could put them in the console for next time!

Sean: Or maybe, here's a thought, fix your damn car. Or at least warn people before they drive it that it may break down. I would've stayed home. Where I'd be warm right now.

Me: Man, you're kind of a whiner. You should totally be thinking of this as an adventure.

Sean: An adventure?? For Real? I may get mugged by a deer out here, or kidnapped and sold into the Siberian sex trade.

Me: (giggling hysterically) the Siberian sex trade? Really? Well at least you'll be used to being cold.

Sean: or kidnapped by aliens. Then what?

Me: well you could sell your story and make lots of money.

Sean: The hell?! Nobody would believe me so they'd lock me up somewhere or if they did believe me the government would take me to study me.

Me: true. Don't get out of the car. Lock the doors.

Sean: also my phone's down to one bar so it's probably going to die and you won't even know what's happened to me. Wait, I see headlights.

Me: Oh! Turn yours on so they don't hit you!

Sean: I already did, but they're kind of waiting on the side of the road like they're letting me pass only I'm not going anywhere.

Me: they'll figure it out after a minute.

Sean: wait, they're stopping. I'll let you go so I can talk to them.

Me: okay, but call back so I know you didn't get kidnapped by aliens or child molesters or Siberian slavers or deer.

Sean: K. Bye.

About 15 minutes later when I was just about to call him back, he came walking in the door. It was an old man who stopped to help and right behind him came hubby. So they'd come home to get the jumper cables and warmer clothes. They jumped it and got it back to the house. Hubby and DEBF looked at it today. I didn't really understand what they said, but it's running again. I really do need a new alternator though. And Sean refuses to drive it until I get one. Where's his sense of adventure???

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