The one where tigers eat zebras and the cat is out of the bag

First, I totally have a confession to make. I'm not nearly as nice and sweet as people think I am. I'm just really really good at biting my tongue and not saying what's actually going through my mind at the time. I find this seriously helpful in dealing not only with the general public, but also with other relationships. And the way that you'll know I'm angry is if I stop talking. No, I'm not deep in thought. No, I'm not just super interested in what you have to say. If I'm not talking in a truly animated fashion and gesturing with my hands, I'm probably pissed off and plotting your slow demise in my next short story. Unless I've been drinking, in which case I'm quite liable to come out with exactly what I'm thinking. Which never ends well, thus the reason I don't drink much. And the reason my husband prefers I don't drink at work functions. Case in point we were discussing someone the other day and I said that I would never drink much around said person as I was afraid the conversation would go much like this~

Me: Do you realize how bad your people skills really are?

Person: I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, you like me.

Me: No. You just think I do, because I happen to have excellent people skills.

And Sean said "Yeah. I can pretty much see the conversation going exactly like that".

And now for the big news I mentioned the other day...I'm going to be a grandma!!! And this is how it happened~

*I'm in my office/family room in the middle of writing a story on the Chilean miners visiting Israel for the holiday season when Lu walks in. I glance up quickly to see who has entered my domain and then look at the clock. It's only 8:30 am which is really early for her to be up on a day she doesn't have to be at work.*

Lu: Remember when you said you'd love me forever no matter what?

Me:*slightly annoyed because I'm pretty sure she's going to ask me to make her a cup of tea and I'm right in the middle of an article* Yes?

Lu:*pulls out two positive pregnancy tests (different brands even) from behind her back and promptly bursts into tears*

Me: Wow. That is so not where I saw this conversation going.

Of course, then I hugged her and we sat in the chair and discussed things. I told her that what we had was a huge case of irony (considering she and Luke had broken up the week before) and that the Universe loved irony. There was no question as to what she'd do, I know her well enough to know she'd keep the baby. She'll live at home and start community college in the fall. Since I work from home, I can watch the baby. She's trying to work on a friendship with Luke so that they can deal well together when the baby comes. She's smart enough to know that a troubled relationship doesn't get better when a baby is added. If it didn't work before it's not going to then.

The timing is off and it sure wasn't in her plan right now, but she's handling it well. Luckily, she'd had the splenechtomy so her ITP is still in remission. She's had two blood tests since she found out she was pregnant and platelets are holding steady at a very high normal. Since she was already on iron for her anemia and folic acid the baby has a good start. And she was already a healthy eater so she's ahead of the game. She sees the doctor for the first time on December 8th but all estimates put her at 7 weeks along. She is already sporting a noticeable baby bump though so she may be farther along. Although, multiples also run on both sides of her father's family.

All the key players (Luke, parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles) have been told so she told me I could share the news with you. Which is awesome, because I was about to bust! I don't even mind the grandma jokes. Much.

And last but not least, a conversation I had with Sean a few days ago~

*we were discussing a certain person and their complete lack of proper responses*

Me: Well a wise woman did tell Mo and I the other day that in 22 years of her line of work she had learned for sure that zebras can't change their stripes.

Sean: of course they can't. It's because zebras are pansies. Take me for instance, I'm a tiger. And I'm not going to change my stripes because I like my stripes. Cause I'm a freakin tiger. And tigers are bad ass. So we don't change our stripes. Zebras try to change but they can't. Because they're zebras. And they're all "I'm gonna stand in this field and hope the tiger doesn't eat me, maybe I blend in with the tall grass". See? Pansies.

Me: I'm pretty sure you lost me back at "I'm a tiger". I don't really understand where you were going with that analogy but um. Okay?

Sean: *head nod, eyebrow raise* That's right. Tigers.

Yeah, it really went down just like that.

Have a happy "day we celebrate how we cheated the Indians out of their land" day!
♥Spot

The one where horror writers are made not born...

I just want to let you all know up front that I'm going out of town tomorrow. And we all know that travelling Spot is not always blogging frequently Spot so I thought I'd warn you in advance. Of course, I'm going to Hildi's with my parents so I might turn into "I must blog in order to keep my half assed claim to sanity" Spot. We shall see.

Yep, I'm leaving my whole tribe and heading to Ohio with my parents. I'd promised Hildi I'd come visit her this month (our all time favorite) so we could do some Haunted Houses or see some scary movies together. And when my parents decided to go this week to watch Hildi's youngest she's (5) cheer with the high school cheerleaders at the football game, she suggested I come with them to save money, wear and tear on my knee and so they could baby me. Well, I don't know about the babying part, I'm more on the nurturing side, but at least I wouldn't have to drive alone now that my offspring have decided to get full time jobs. So plans were made and I'm heading off to their house tomorrow so we can head to Ohio bright and early Thursday morning. I'll be gone a week. I hope the cats and my house survive. I'm leaving Sean, Mike and Luke with head colds and crossing my fingers that Lu doesn't catch it. So we'll see what the week has in store for me.

Hildi's husband is one of those lucky so & so's who always seem to be winning something. Seriously, I don't think they've ever actually bought a TV. A couple of weeks ago, he did it again. Won a TV. So Hildi called and asked if I would like the TV from their bedroom. That sucker is huge. I said sure what do I owe you. And she said don't be silly, you can have it for free. Free is my favorite price so I graciously accepted and she sent it home with my folks. We picked it up from them last Tuesday. It was so large that we had to buy a new TV stand for the living room where we were putting the TV. That was fine with me because I was sick of the old one and in fact have plans to redo the living room decor anyway. Tuesday night when Sean got home he started clearing off the old entertainment center in order to put together the new one. I was busy in the kitchen, making dinner.

Sean: Hey mom! I found this really old thing. It's rectangular and black and covered in dust. It looks like it has some kind of tape in it.

Me: (turning around to see him holding up a VHS tape) Very funny dork.

Sean: Wow. I seem to have come across an even more ancient relic! It's so small. What can it be?

Me: (turning around again to see him grinning and holding up a cassette tape) Wow. That is old.

Sean: Do we even have a device that might play this anymore?

Me: Yeah, the stereo in there has a cassette deck. I think there's actually one in my SUV too. *Looking closer at the tape* OMG! That tape is from when I was little! It's probably got Aunt Hildi on it singing "I love a rainy night". It was her favorite song when she was three. Hold on to that.

Sean: We have to listen to it.

So after dinner, we sat down in the living room and Sean put the cassette in the player.

Me: So for my 7th birthday I asked for a cassette recorder and got one. I then recorded make believe radio shows, poems, songs, aunt Hildi and I singing. It was like a video blog without the video.

Lu: You were such a strange little kid.

Me: agreed. I'm just letting you know that I have no idea what you're about to hear. It's like a disclaimer.

*Sean hit play*

voice on recorder (which sounds oddly like Hildi's daughter): so now I'm going to sing a song I wrote. "Every body's got to die sometime, that's just how it goes, don't ask me why though, cause I don't really know." (only slightly off key)

Sean: Wow. You were a morbid little thing at seven, weren't you?

Me: Of course I was. What else would you expect? I was raised watching "Night Gallery" and "Twilight Zone", Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" and my bedtime stories were straight from Stephen King and Anne Rice. I read Poe's collected works at ten. I think morbid was more of a destiny for me than a choice. It really shouldn't surprise anyone that I turned out to be a horror writer.

Lu: You were weird.

Me: Whatever. With the ability to write lyrics like that and halfway carry a tune, I think it's a wonder that I'm not a rock star.

Sean: You are insane.

Me: By "insane" you totally mean "creative genius" right?

I'm not even going to dignify his response with repeating it here. I'm so misunderstood.

And then last night, I dreamed that Lizzie was cheating on Sean. Which is weird, because they aren't even dating right now. But there you go. If you're reading this Lizzie, don't do it. That guy was not as cute as Sean. And he was short.

Well, I'm off to start my packing. Maybe I can sing for my parents in the car. I'm sure they'll enjoy that. Especially if I make up my own songs.

♥Spot